Angela Bauer

Hi SS502, according to the most recent statistics available, at the end of 2006 there were over 25 million USA residents who need adult diapers. Compare that to the total number of toddlers in the USA under 4 years of age and it is much greater, and growing up from less than 20 million in 2004. No wonder Depend is getting competition from store brands, most made by the same people as make Secure or Tranquilty. The former PaperPak, now Attends, sells so many adult diapers under their own brand names through on-line and to hospitals that they have cut back making generic brands for stores. You would think that a big chain like CVS would provide new employees with some sensitivity training so as to keep customers who do buy adult diapers loyal to their store. Did the man who said they were for the hospital mean he worked there and they ran out? Or did he mean someone who was in the hospital would need them when discharged and the hospital pharmacy was either closed or charging way above a fair price? I assume there are people I meet in person who have no clue I am incontinent. Within my office this is not a huge secret. So it has to be random that I hear people making diaper jokes. Everyone sees the TV commercials for Depend, and now HDIS is running commercials on cable. This makes sense because adult diaper customes tend to be very brand-loyal. Take me, I started out wearing Attends Youth when they were owned by P&G and soon grew to need Attends Small. I use a half case of those each month, so my standing order with Care Givers Partnership is a case every other month. In addition I wear cloth diapers to bed when home and often just a slip-in pad during the day, which I make by cutting away the elastic leg gathers on Size 4 Pampers Cruisers. Turns out those Pampers go on sale frequently and even at Target or Cosco retail are less than adult slip-ins and way more comfy. Yes, I have tried Secure and Tranquility Adult Small, which are fine, yet I keep ordering my Attends. I became an Attends gal in 1981 when I started university, back when they had TV commercials starring June Allyson, remember those and remember her from "Good News" and "The Glenn Miller Story"? Angela Bauer, showing my age

On Friday Feb 22 my husband Don got a call from jenny at AB Universe that their cargo container had been released by Customs and was already at their warehouse. Both the 2 cases we ordered for me to be shipped to our home and the bag we ordered to be shipped to a good friend in Texas were received by FedEx Friday afternoon. We have the tracking info e-mails from FedEx. As I said in a post on another section, back in mid January, when I used the last AB Universe diaper from the first batch, I immediately tried to re-order and got the message they were sold out until the next container arrived. At that time Jenny told me the ship was not scheduled to doc in Seattle until Feb 15 so she did not expect to be able to start shipping them out until Feb 22. To me this seems on schedule. But, sure enough when I got the e-mail about Customs, I looked on their website and saw they were announcing Feb 15 as the shipping date. That was overly optimistic. Yes, I also have worn Bambinos and I have a bunch of them currently on order. I am slightly small for the current ABU medium, but I make them work. Bambino has a size small that does fit me nicely. Both are excellent diapers. They are fun after wearing Attends, Secure or Tranquility Small, all of which work, but are not exactly fun, without the decorations. Baby Angela, ake Angela Bauer

Hi Elo, Let me start off by saying I have wet my bed every night since I turned 12 and have had hardly any day control since I was 21, so after years of being treated there is no question I am bladder incontinent. The largest incon support organization is the Simon Foundation and they define incontinence as any need for diapers. Your emotional need to us qualifies you as incontinent. I assume since you call them Nappies that you live in the UK or related country. Just remember that while to Simon Foundation you are incontinent, do not assume you can get free nappies of diapers at public expense. Everyone is correct, no legit physcian will do anything to deliberately render you incontinent. Like others say, if you start wearing diapers 24/7 you will soon wet without effort, so it will seem like being incontinent, which the advantage you probably will be able to wear big boy undies if you decide you need to in the future. People like me do not have that option. Yes, I can wear fancy undies, but they will be wet soon. Only you know why you told your female friend that you wet the bed. I do not approve of telling lies to friends, but if you do deliberately wet in bed, then you are a bedwetter. Be sure to protect every mattress you sleep on. Today there are fantastic waterproof sheeting systems that to an outsider feel like ordinary bedding. I personally have been using the Secure sheeting ever since Gary Hirsch invented them. When on visita and trips, carry your own waterproof sheets. Also face the reality that you are an infantilist even if you do not think of yourself as an adult baby. A deliberate use of diapers makes you an infantilist, and this is a lifetime condition. Psychologists cannot change that, but should it interfere with ordinary life, they can help you find ways to balance your diaper affectation with other responsibilities. What a shame you did not balance your desire to tell everyone you wet the bed with being a better friend. Now that desire to tell people with absolutely no need to know sounds like the mental problems of exhibitionism. Mention that to a shrink and you will be treated because in most places exhibitionism violates the law. Perhaps a psychologist can help you stop telling people. Best wishes, Angela

Hi BaBy GiRL, let me add my own welcome to Daily Diapers. Although I am relative new here, I have been an active big baby girl since late 1990, and have worn diapers every night since I was 12, then 24/7 since I was 21. You are always welcome to contact me personally, and when I see your questions in Lifestyles I will jump in to answer. Alas, I have difficulty reading written baby talk so I do not regularly read that section. Here you will find a handful of adults even younger than you and mature citizens in their mid 70s who are young at heart. We all can expect a second childhood, and some of us jump-started that! Be happy and be Pampered as often as you like, Angela Bauer, aka Baby Angel

Please remember to read the pinned message at the top of this section. This is where we discuss incontinence as a medical condition and not how to become incontinent. For ages general practioners and later early pediatricians assumed the only way to toilet train a toddler was to transition him or her from pinned-on diapers to cloth trainers. Obviously it is unsafe to allow a real toddler to handle diaper pins. So it is possible there was a coore of truth to the theory. If you feel the need to go pee or poop on a toilet and you cannot remove a diaper in time, you either hold it longer than you like, or you wet your diaper. More modern thinking is that the thing to avoid is any urine or poop outside the diaper area. Our skin there is naturally resistant to urine and poop, but the rest of our skin is not protected and thus if we sit in wet clothing or bedding, other parts of our bodies suffer. So, the medical thinking is the benefit of wearing a diaper are greater than the rish wearing the diaper prolongs or delays re-gaining control. Several of the AB I know well and in-person are not incontinent. Most have been into AB for years, so have little trouble wetting while diapered and in their AB mode. Yet if they must switch to big-boy or big-girl panties during a Sunday night so they can leave for work Monday moring in conventional undies, they can do so without wetting accidents. If you are incontinent, then you need to have frequent check-ups by a urologist and internest for men and in an ideal world a gyno-urologist plus the internest for women. Angela Bauer

In your area do you have a comprehensive infant-toddler store, such as a branch of Babies-R-Us? Our local Babies-R-Us has a whole section devoted just to feeding systems, meaning various styles of bottles and nipples. The long-time baby bottle standard was the Evenflo. Many manufacturers made bottles with the same opening and screw size, so rings and nipples would interchange. More recently another standard has emerged, called the wide-mouth. Because the opening is bigger, the base of the nipple more closely resembles a breast. My suggestion is to go to such a display of nipples and bottles with your boyfriend. At your age the clerks will assume you are planning a family. Look at the various choices to find out what interests your boyfriend. The Munchkin Tri-Flow bottles and nipples I like because while using one of them I can adjust the flow to suit my mood, come in both Evenflo standard and wide-mouth, but apparently are only sold on-line. Our Babies-R-Us carries many Munchkin products, but not the Tri-Flow. Same with Target, Wall-Mart and K-Mart. So if you decide on a nipple shape that your boyfriend craves, you can always increase the flow by enlarging the hole using a hot needle. At those kinds of stores nearly all the pacifiers will have one of three kinds of nipples. The 0-6 month size generally have the same shape nipple. The 6+ month size can have either a conventional nipple which is slightly longer than the smaller ones, or the orthodontic with is longer with a larger base closer to the face shield. I use the MAM clear silicone orthodontic nipple pacifier, with the best ventilated face shield, but that is my preference. Your boyfriend might like something else. This is why you have to look together. Trust me, the two of you together will cause less interest than if he goes to a baby department on his own. Your alone would not be noticed, but without him you do not know which to buy. In fact there are many choices for AB just in a mainstream baby store. In addition there are a lot of adult pacifiers and nipples on the market. Good searching together, a really fun way to spend a Saturday afternoon! Angela Bauer

Ok, so Attends still makes retro-style briefs in Youth for hips less than 22" and Small of hips under 34". Bambino has a Size Small. So does Tranquility. Secure has a couple of style briefs in Size Small. Recently on DD we have discussed why adult diapers need 2 or 3 tabs per side. I know, I am not shaped the same as I was when I was 4. The thing is back then, Pampers had no tapes or tabs. Parents were expected to pin on disposables until a genius invented a way of making tapes a part of baby disposables. I think that was 1972, long after I was toilet trained. Back then my whole family hugged tress and would not think about disposables. But I remember being on a short trip the summer of 1972 when my kid sister Missy was not quite toilet trained. Of course all of us gals in the car were diapered in pinned Curity gauze so Dad did not have to stop frequently. That was normal and we accepted it. Then on the second day Missy got really runny poop. Mom had to change her once an hour, so we were running out of clean diapers. Before lunch that day, Mom had Dad find a supermarket in Bakersfield. My oldest sister was sent into that store to buy a bag of the largest Pampers available, a first for our family. By the time Big Sis returned to the car with them, Mom had turned the tailgate into a changing station, with Missy cleaned and ready. Mom had to study the instructions on the bag and she wasted one Pampers before she figured out how to use the tapes, so Mom at least might have preferred using pins on disposables. The thing is I have always been too large for baby Pampers, Huggies or any other brand. I could close Size 7 around my waist, if my hips did not get in the way, and Size 7 are not long enough to reach my waist. So what I suggest to all the many manufacturers of both adult and baby disposables is to stop considering this as two separate markets. This is 2008, when sensible parents take a go-slow approach to toilet training and today many 4yo are larger than 7yo when I was a girl many years ago. Tape-on diapers work much better in bed, and in bed slick plastic slides past bedding better than does cloth-like. Maybe when you are very active cloth-like stretches better than plastic, but none of us move that much in bed. What we need is to continue single tab Velcro-like re-fastenable baby-style disposable diapers beyond current 45 pounds Size 7, to 55 pound Size 8, 70 Pound Size 9 and 85 pound Size 10. Practically speaking 85 pounds is the lower limit even for Attends Youth size, which are two tapes per side and not re-fastenable. Baby diaper Guru and Business Consultant to all the biggies Carlos Richer (a super kind man) has written that the way of the future for baby/toddler is to phase out pull-ups, which are a huge problem to manufactur and replace them with larger disposables with such good refastenable tabs kids who today can use pull-ups will be able to release their diaper to go potty and then refasten it on their own. KCC decorated GoodNites for big kids, so there is no reason these Size 8, 9 and 10 should not be decorated like Size 7 Pampers Cruisers. Then we also need 2 tabs per side diapers for smaller people. Maybe that would be Smaller Youth? To me they all should be decorated. AB Universe and Bambino have the right idea. Diapers should be fun, not just utilitarian. Gary Hirsch designed the Secure diapers and many other adult brands, so he is the Guru to adult diapering as Carlos Richer is to baby diapering. Fortunately the two of them are friends. Maybe they can help the current manufacturers see reason. I believe Mr. Richer when he says P&G does not care about the tweenie and adult diaper market. They are the ones who sold out Attends to PaperPak long after P&G stopped doing Attends R&D and Depend was taking over in the store shelves. Nobody can tell P&G anything since they do not listen. Maybe the deal was that Attends cannot make a diaper smaller than the retro Youth which is the same as when P&G designed it. Same for the Attends Small, which to me is identical to those I bought circa 1985. But Secure and Tranquility never belonged to P&G so if they want they can get into this tweenie business. Or maybe what we need is for a new firm to invent a Size 8, 9 and 10 decorated Pampers-like diaper, with the softness of a Cruisers inside and larger so older kids can wear them. Maybe the Size 9 and 10 should be made with both single and double tabs to fit bigger kids with one tab and smaller adults with 2 tabs. Make them and we will buy! Baby Angel, aka Angela Bauer

Back toward the end of January I realized I had just used the last of my supply of the AB Universe Medium decorated diaper. When I went to their website I saw the message that the first batch had sold out but they expected the ship with the next batch to dock about February 15. I went ahead and placed the order charged to our PayPal account. On Jan 30 Jenny phoned us. I was at the office so Don took the call. She said that she was not expecting to have access to the cargo container until Feb 22, and she wanted us to be okay with that before she processed the order. Don said that was no problem, and he increased our order to 2 cases, plus a pack of 20 to be sent to a good friend in Texas. Therefore I was somewhat surprised to get the e-mail last week, before the ship was due to dock, that Customs put a hold for inspection on their container. Gee, I sure hope Customs, ICE and DEA are inspecting such container very carefully, because the same chemicals that are part of disposable diapers, and motion picture film for that matter, are known to make the odor of cocaine and explosives. The e-mail said Customs was not working on Monday Feb 18. Again, since that is the Federal holiday President's Day, I was not surprised. The good news is a couple of hours ago we got a call from Jenny saying she was putting the shipping lables on the 2 cases going to our home and the 20-pack going to our friend. So as far as I am concerned, that is exactly when she told us the new diapers would be shipped before we were charged. Jenny did need Don to get back to her to confirm the Texas address and she said that they were working downstairs doing the shipping so she was having trouble hearing her toll-free WATS 800 line upstairs. Don sent her the address by e-mail and left that as a message on their 800 line. Sometimes we talk about imported diapers as being better or different than US made diapers. When was the last time you looked at a bag of Pampers? I use about 20 Size 4 Cruisers a week as slip-in pads during the day, so those I buy in really big cartons. I do not remember the last Pampers I bought that were not made in Mexico. Since my current case of Attends Small briefs does not say made in Mexico they probably are made in North Carolina. What about Depend, Tranquility or Secure? Are all of them made in the USA, or designed here and manufactured off-shore? Does any of that make a difference, unless your used to make Pampers for P&G in Cincinnati or ran a loom for Kendall Mills in Mass? Baby Angela

As others have said, DailyDi, you have asked a fascinating question. The fact is I am bladder incontinent and consider myself lucky I can control my bowels most of the time. This summer I will have been back in diapers for my wetting 32 years, during which time a whole lot of urologists have not cured my incontinence. So I am sure I have no control over my wetting. In 1990 I made the concious and informed choice to adopt Adult Baby play as a coping strategy, on the theory: "Since I must wear diapers to avoid soaking furniture I might as well enjoy them." Of course by then I had started my career as an attorney, so I knew I had to set limits how I would behave as a big baby, when and where. This is why I answered yes that I am in control. BTW, for me AB is not a "fetish." I prefer the term "affectation." I answered no to the question could I give up AB. Even if I were to stop wearing cute AB outfits to bed, I still would be wetting my diaper, so what would be the point in giving up the thing that makes me feel good about being incontinent? I think for me not being an AB would be insane. What could I possibly suck on while sleeping that is any safer than my pacifier? Is there anything better for my health I could drink from a bottle than the water, milk, juice or Ensure I use to fill my Evenflo? Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I rest my case and ask you to decide in favor of my client. Baby Angel, aka Angela Bauer

Hi Sabrina, What lack of professionalism by the desk clerk, since a baby would not add to your charge. It is no secret I am a litigation partner in a major law firm with offices in many cities and clients all over. Since the summer between my first and second year of pre-law (1981) my work has required me to stay at hundreds of hotels. I have needed diapers in bed all that time. I always carry two waterproof sheets. Like you I am discreet tossing wet diapers. If my stay is going to be more than one night, and that hotel is new to me, I phone the head houskeeper to say I have placed my own waterproof sheet on my bed and I want it to stay there as long as I am in their hotel. I also ask that they make a note so the next time I stay there they will have made my bed with a waterproof sheet. Before I leave I fold and pack my waterproof sheet and if at the next hotel they already gave me one, super. I try to be careful about powder, and I also always over tip the room maids. That way I have a wonderful reputation with the housekeeping staff. Perhaps it is because when I present my CC the hotel clerks see the name of my firm and figure it best to treat me like gold, but I have never had any similar incident. If anything like that were to happen, not just the clerk but also the manager would be hearing my complaint from their corporate head office. Sure, in hotels there have been incidents involving me and coworkers. Many times I have answered my door with a pacifier in my mouth, and nobody says anything. Within my firm it is no big secret I am incontinent, but I do not advertise I relax as an AB. Each hotel and motel guest has rights, but unless you are willing to demand top treatment, sometimes staff will be lax. Still, a generous tip to the maids goes a long ways to reducing harassment. At least that works for me. Angela

Diapers never embarrassed or scared me when I was a kid during the years from being toilet trained until I started wetting at night at puberty. I was so lucky that my Mom, Granny and Aunt Betsy all were responsible adult women who had lost bladder control at puberty. So their approach was to leave piles of gauze diapers and vinyl panties out in plain sight in their own rooms as well as in the nursery. If any of us wanted to wear a diaper for fun, that was fine and an adult or big sis would change us. By the time I did start wetting again I already found diapers comfy and the concept of a cold wet bed scary. Trust me, the second I woke the first time I wet my bed at age 12, and I must have become wide awake with just a little dribble, I was asking my Mom for a diaper. Within a couple of days she had coached me so I could pin my own diapers. Because of her open-diaper policy, there were several pair of vinyl panties in my size. Mom also ordered more of those right away. Between the first dribble and me learning to change myself I had been examined by my own pediatrician, a gynecologist and a urologist. Later when I started law school, the classes were so long I decided it was safer to wear diapers for class, and then I saw no reason to be undiapered for a date. I have worn 24/7 since then. I honestly believe knowing I will never need to pause my statements in court to use a toilet make me a far more effective litigator. The fact I sleep soundly diapers make me more productive and a better wife. Why should an incontinent person need to be embarrassed to say far from resenting my diapers, I embrace them as part of who I am. I am entitled to find some fun and pleasure. For me that is playing as an AB, but others might ignore the pacifiers and be DL. Why not? Baby Angel, aka Angela Bauer

Well Baby and Me, you have done the first important thing in being a Mommy to an AB, in that you accept his aspect of him and love him unconditionally. Personally I am on record as favoring the MAM pacifiers with clear silicone orthodontic nipples sold in stores everywhere. Try to get the kind of 6mo+ because the other nipples are way small, and get the set of 2 MAM pacifiers that includes the leash to attach it to his shirt so he does not lose his paci. I have been given really beautiffuly made adult-size baby bottles, but for normal use I hold want to lift 8oz or less at a time, so I use ordinary bottles. I stuck with Evenflo clear poly plastic for ages, and I still have a few of the Evenflo Angled Nursers vintage 2002. Lately I have been buying Munchkin Tri-flow Angled Bottles and their Tri-flow clear silicone nipples. These have an adjusting ring instead of the typical Evenflo nipple retaining ring. The Tri-flo can be adjusted for flow-rate while in use, so I do not need to stop suckling and change to a faster or slower flow nipple. Back about 2002 Munchkin made a series of clear nipples for various purposes. The ones I have saved have a cunning cross-cut for orange juice. If a bit of pulp starts to clog the cross-cut nipple all I need do is such harder to clear the pulp. Mothers used to have to modify traditional nipples at home and rarely got the cross-cut right. alas, apparently Munchkin no longer sells the cross-cut nipples. Baby Angel, aka Angela Bauer

That link is to the most absorbent Secure pull-up Underwear, with a minimum size of Medium. For smaller folks with hips 22-36" Secure offers their slightly less absorbent Plus Protective Underwear in Adult Small. My experience is that us smaller adults tend to wet slightly less than Medium people, so for us the Plus is absorbent enough. BTW, all these Secure products were designed by Gary Hirsch, generally considered the Godfater of Adult Disposables, and the leading consultant in the industry. Some have called him the "the Carlos Richer" of adult sizes, since Richer is the leading consultant on baby disposables world-wide. Yes, I do remain a loyal Attends gal, but for my pull-on needs I order Plus Protective Small Underwear from Secure's own site. Danni's link below will get you to Secure and the other pull-up, so just navigate within the website to see all the other products. Angela

Although there has never been peer-reviewed scientific research into diaper related affectation. the working assumption of qualified mental health professionals is that infantilism is a lifetime condition. The way we act out our inner infantilism will sometimes change. We can go decades without doing anything beside wear diapers if incontinent. If we have bladder control we might go years un-diapered. However, our infantilism is latent and will return someday. It is not a question of growing up as much as it is learning to get along in the real world. Many laws protect the rights of incontinent people, but we still are expected to go the last mile avoiding shocking folks. ABDL have no such legal protection, so if you want to stay in a dorm, you had better do your best to get along. This is growing up.

Hold on I Love Diapers, In what century did any university or cleege have special dorms for incontinent people? Are you thinking about fantasy camps or boarding schools? Like several have already told you, when you get the housing form. after you have been accepted, either mark a box yes that you need a waterproof mattress or write in the special requirement section that you do not mind a roommate who wets. Since they were available college dorm mattresses are waterproof, but nice people add their own waterproof sheet to additionally protect the mattress. Secure makes an inexpensive waterproof sheet that is modern, quiet and comfy. Then at the start of summer before you move into your dorm, phone the housing director and say either that you will be wearing diapers or that you do not mind rooming with someone who does. Trust me, bedwetting at college is so common it is not a big deal with the housing director unless you make yourself a nusance. Back in 1981 when I started college my mom assumed I could not wash cloth diapers so I had to start wearing Attends. Ten years ago the incontinent daughter of friends moved to college. She had visited the housing director in early June and told the lady she wanted to bring her own waterproof mattress and would prefer to be near washing machines so she could wash her own diapers. For the next 4 years that gal lived next to the coin laundry of her dorm and washed diapers every other day without once being teased. See, it can be done discreetly and using common sense.

As I have explained before, I was toilet trained before my memory begins. Mom and others tell me that I was day dry at about 32 months and bed dry just before turning 3. But Granny, Mom and the whole family knew all of us have tiny bladders and all the women start to wet again at puberty, so: Point 1: What age did you last wear diapers as a child Although toilet trained, for special events and trips, Mom would sweet talk us into wearing diapers again. Those were always Curity 21x40 gauze and pinned. Like my siblings and cousins, we accepted diapers as alternative undies. Nobody made a big deal and we were never teased. Only a few times did I wet one of those "Just in case" diapers, and those were times when we could not stop to take a potty break. Mom never considered those wet diapers as any sort of setback. By the time I was 10 I would change my baby sister who was 5. As soon as I reverted to bedwetting at 12 following reaching puberty, Mom and Granny coached me so I learend to pin my own gauze diapers. Point 2: What Kind of Diapers did you wear then Mom, Granny and My favorite Aunt Betsy across the street bought Curity 21x40 gauze diapers by the case of 6 dozen. To work better on teens and then adults (Mom, Granny, Betsy all wet their beds) They would sew 2 Curities side by side to make 40" square diapers, which could be folder to fit teens. They also would sew 3 Curities side by side to make 60x40" diapers for adults. For all of us, as many regular Curities as needed would be folded in as soakers. Point 3: What Kind Of Diaper Cover did you wear over your diaper if you wore one over it In my family there was no point in an uncovered diaper. Mom and Betsy bought infant to toddler large Gerber vinyl panties in local stores. They also had come to know the ladies at the Gerber adult pants factory in Three Oaks, MI, where they ordered bigger vinyl panties up to XXL. In our house, as in Betsy's, stacks of clean Curities and an assortment of Gerber baby panties were in plain sight in the nursery. any of us were free to put them on if we wanted. I sometimes wore a Gerber over my undies in the afternoon at home and when playing with my cousins at Aunt Betsy's house. The adults did not mind if we tried pinning our own, although I never tried until I restarted wetting and all any of us had to do was ask an older sibling or adult and they would gently pin us up, just for fun or because we might not be feeling well. Even if we pooped, they just smiled, cleaned us up and asked if we wanted undies or another diaper. See, later I have never understood parents who get all shook-up when a kid asks for a diaper. I used to participate in a wonderful site called "When Kids Love Diapers" doing my best to explain that just because a 6yo boy comes to his mom with a diaper in hand and asked her to change him does not mean he is an infantilist. If an 11yo boy or girl asks for an afterschool diaper 5 days in a row, then the chances are that child is an infantilist, which is a lifetime condition. That is when the parents need to take many deep breaths, relax, and go with the flow. The kid will always be an infantilist, nothing they do will stop that. A sane parent wants their kids to mature as adjusted, responsible adults. We all know that we can be responsible and have fine careers while wearing diapers in private and/or under our regular clothing. So, in an ideal situation, the parents of infantilists become enablers in the best way. They obtain diapers and plastic pants for their kid. They teach the kid to be discreet, not deliberately shocking outsiders, but not being ashamed of loving diapers. Trust me, we all know infantilists who were not supplied diapers by their parents. Some of these steal bags of diapers from stores. Some steal a few diapers from relatives and neighbors. Really desperate infantilists find used diapers in trash containers. That is so risky to health, I hate thinking about it, but need to remind you this happens. Stealing from stores and homes is so wrong and also risky. Lawyers like me get involved, as do cops, judges and probation officers. Later the frustrated infantilists will be seeing shrinks. So, compare the price of Pampers at 6, GoodNites at 9 and Adult Youth and Small from Attends, Secure or Tranquility vs legal fees, fines and shrinks? Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I ask you to find in favor of just giving the kid diapers when he/she asks. Later, it is fair the cost of the diapers be deducted in part from their allowance, since infantilists need to learn to do their share and pay their way. Ladies and Gentlemen, my client and I thank you for your patients and we urge you to find in favor of giving kids who love diapers their own diapers. Baby Angel aka Angela Bauer, esq

Dear Confused Girlfriend; Obviously your boyfriend loves you and trusts you very much to reveal such a potentially dangerous secret. For 17 years I have communicated as one born that way woman to other women about all aspects of diaper affectation. Since I reached puberty and became incontinent I have communicated about that. To help you better, all of us here with advice to share, need to know just a bit more about your situation. First, are both of you single and adults in your country? Second, how long have you been a couple? Do either of you have custody of minor children? Obviously when a confused girlfriend and she is still a teenager, or her boyfriend is, we need to be super cautious what we suggest. The dynamic are different when an adult man has been romantic with an adult woman for months and then tells her he is a diaper lover as opposed to a guy admitting that to a girlfriend he has only known a few days. On other topics here we have discussed the special situation where an adult who needs diaper also is around children. There are legal and ethical considerations. It is so fascinating that you quote your boyfriend as saying he is a "diaper lover" because even here different people define that differently. Then in answers members mention you diapering him, which might be the desire of an Adult Baby who is comforted by a return to nursery years, complete with such props as a pacifier, baby bottle and childish clothing. The way some who self-identify as "Diaper Lover" is that they abhore even being in the same room as people who use props and wear babyish outfits beyond utilitarian diapers. I would think known what your boyfriend has in mind is vital to you. Often AB do not think their diapers and any of the rest of this life is sexual. I am like that. When I need to relax from the stress of my work and thoughts about the welfare of the world, all I want to do is start suckling a bottle and cover the diapers I wear 24/7 because I am bladder incontinent with a babyish outfit and crawl on the carpet playing with stuffed animals and other soft toys. When I am in that mood I think of my loving husband as "Daddy" who exists to care for my physical needs, including changing my diaper. Then as soon as I have relaxed enough, I will keep my diaper, but other wise dress as an adult woman. Out of my AB mood I approach the relationship with my husband as both a lover and spouse. We talk as responsible adults. I have never self-identified as a diaper lover. I do say I enjoy my diapers, but they are not a substitute for making love with my husband. Some, but not all, of those who self-identify as diaper lover can have what we call vanilla sexual relationships part of the time and do not always wear diapers 24/7. It is when they get into a certain mood, they put on a diaper. For that length of time in a diaper they tune out the rest of the world and obtain their sexual pleasure from the diaper itself. Traditionally that would be termed a material fetish, in that an ordinary object has sexual significance to the patient. While in that state he or rarely she, cannot function sexually except with the fetish (the term for the object, not the mind set). So, we have some AB who have no sexual drive while in that mood and we have DL who have no sexual desires with humans while in that mood. Then we have people who find diapers fun and comforting, who do not collect props and who can perform sexually with or without a diaper when with a person he/she loves romantically. Having been diapered most of my life, I had to early on get past the "Why me? What did I do so terrible I am in diapers?" to thinking of a diaper as just a larger pair of panties. While reading as many romance novels as I could find when I was 13 I discovered the word Fetish, but missed the part about adults who wanted to pay to be incontinent. Talking to my folks (my granny and mom also are incontinent) I was told most people do not like the word fetish, so I started using the term "diaper affectation" largely because it confused doctors and shrinks. Honestly I am sure some doctors who have examined me think it weird I did not hate diapers and prostate wearing them, because they were not incontinent and did not remember what it felt like to be sitting in a wet dress without the comfort of plastic panties. My suggestion, Confused Girlfriend, is to start by offering to go with your boyfriend when he needs more diapers. I would not rush out and buy him a pack of Depends. The reason is each of us has very specific demands on our diaper, and it can vary from one activity to another. Unlike some I do not hate Depend brand just because they displaced Attend which started the adult disposable industry. But I would be highly offended if even my understanding mother were to approach me with a bag of a size and style of Depend I do not wear and might have disliked. Probably you are so new to this you are confused by the terms and brands. Let your boyfriend educate you. He is proud, so to offer to buy him diapers might insult him, as if you do not think he can afford to buy his diapers, and that is not what you mean. For the moment let him know you love him and are there for him when he is ready for you. If he is one of the kind of DL who only gets off in a diaper when in that mood, he does not want you to see him diapered, because that adds to his fetish. If he is more flexible, then he will adore you for being a willing co-conspiritor. If he is AB he might like you to wear a diaper as a play buddy. Many diaper lovers like to make love when both partners are wearing diapers. Go into your own feelings and consider that wearing a diaper can be utilitarian and it also can be comforting, so try not to be rigid. I assume your boyfriend decided you were sexually liberal and took the chance you would not flee in disgust when he mentioned he loves diapers. and, that might be the confusion. Suppose he said he loves wearing diapers and you understood that as he saying he is a diaper lover? If you want to get into this more and in private, my e-mail is on my profile as my website address. Just introduce yourself to me as "Confused Girlfriend" Have a magical day, Angela Bauer

Hi Adrian Surley: Yes I heard about AB Universe while they still had diapers in stock from their first shipment. Had I know how much I would love them, we would have ordered more. That time I only got a bag of 20. The decorations are way cool, like from 190 or earlier. The smaller, like I got, is similar to an Attends Classic, with 2 tapes per side and plastic outside. Because they have the good features of retro Attends, the tapes will stick as close to the center as you need them. Daddy could snug them up on me enough they don't leak any more than typical tape-on. Because I can't see the decorations in bed, I would wear them for play, when they don't need to be so snug. Being disappointed when they had sold out their shipment before I re-ordered, I did pre-order a whole lot more, which should arrive in a couple of weeks. I can hardly wait. To calm me down, knowing I do get frustrated when I can't have what I want immediately, Daddy Don bought some transfer thingies for the computer. The heat melted the cover on disposables, but worked on some ACD 36" square gauze flat diapers. Yes, the transfer eventually washed off somewhat. The gauze still works and I turn it inside until it is completely gone, then Daddy makes a fresh transfer. Soon, very soon I will have my second stash of the AB Universe diapers. Bambino is a nice diaper too, with less cartoonish decorations. We bought me some of those also. However, it is like they are for people bigger than me. When Daddy snugged the tapes way close to the middle, on thin me the Bambino was not comfy. Maybe someone will eventually make a decorated diaper the same size and shape as an Attends Classic Youth. Those I have been buying by the case since they came out when Attends were new. I had only been able to buy Attends medium at stores near home in 1981 when I was leaving for university. I took part of my first bag and a full bag with me. The housing director knew I was a bedwetter because I told her so before I moved in. The first day she came to my room, saw my medium Attends, looked at me and said, "Angela, lots of students wet. But I think you should go to the university general store, because they sell a smaller Attends." Those were what today are called Youth. Within a month I had received the first of hundreds of cases of those. Okay, all you diaper makers out there. Please make diapers for us "tweenies" who were too big for Huggies and Pampers when they came out originally and yet are not big enough for any commercial Medium. There are over 20 million people in the USA who wore disposables larger than baby products in 2007, compared to about 12 million newborn to Size 7. Us mature tweenies do not grow. So I have been loyal to Attends Youth over 26 years. How many infants wear the same size Pampers more than a year? Sure, for bed a plain white diaper is okay. But as a treat for being a cute good girl I should have cool decorated diapers in my size. Wow, if they had cartoons on the back, as well as the front, that would be so super! It would be like I was wearing a Pampers or Huggies from just before the clothlike fad took over. Here is more free advice the geniouses at Pampers, Huggies and others can have. When you are wearing a diaper, so long as it flexes when you move, you do not feel the outer layer. Inside a diaper clothlike is no advantage to me. Okay I admit clothlike can be more flexible and stretchy. But News Flash! We do not move much in bed, and the plastic outer layer is better in bed because the bedding slides over it. When a bit of blanket clings to clothlike, for a few seconds as you turn or wriggle, a leg will gap or the waist will gap, just at the wrong moment before pee has soaked into the SAP. That is why nurses prefer plastic for patients in bed, as do smart parents. The clothlike became a fad because when a mommy holds a small baby in her arms, to her the clothlike is more comfy. Nobody at P&G or Huggies asked any 12mo old's opinion! So, Diaper Makers, I bet whoever starts to sell a decorated Youth Size disposable first will win a huge loyal customer base. And we will be the same size over 25 years. Today I am 43, so with any luck I will be this size, or smaller, another 40 years. That is a whole lot of diapers! And, I will save my social Security so at least one a day is decorated! Baby Angel

Hello, yourself, Katie Beth, like the others have said, this place is filled with nice people. Some are Mommies and Daddies. Many are like us, girls and boys of various ages. Are you one of those big girls? You know, the kind at toddler school who think they are better than us because they go in the potty? Or are you like most of us, still wetting most days and every night? Here we often have our own AB worlds, with their own logic. Baby Angel is never sure her own age. I know I can walk, but in my playroom I prefer to crawl. I can talk to adults when I hafta, but would rather talk with other kids and animals who understand me. I'm don't wanna grow up. I like to eat some of the stuff grownups eat, but not everything. On my good days I can drink from a cup, but I really love a baby bottle. The potty scares me, so I only sit on it when Mommy or Daddy makes me, which is okay because I no longer like making poop in my pants. How about you Katie Beth? Do you even want pull-ups? Only nice people change me. Mommy, Daddy, Granny, Auntie Betsy and Cousin Sarah who babysits me. Do you have a favorite toy? Daddy says I should treat all my toys nice and not say I love one more than the others. I do love my Eukie. He is a koala, from some strange place. He has protected me as long as I can remember. Would you like to tell us about your baby world? Luvs and Huggies, Baby Angel

When selecting diapers, the most important measurement is your hips. The next important consideration is the diaper length through your crotch. Unless supported by something called Onesies, a diaper must reach above your hips to stay in place. This has been my problem since I was preparing to leave home for university in 1981. At home our family used Curity gause diapers. For herself and us older gals Mom had sewn two and even three of those together, so we could fold them in various ways until they would fit and stay in place all night. A month before I left home Mom let me buy my first bag of Attends. which were medium. No stores stocked the Youth briefs. During that month Mom, my oldest sister, my Aunt Betsy all tried to help me find a way to tape those medium snug. The taped met in the middle. The only thing that helped was over the too loose Attends I wore cotton knit briefs. The housing director knew in advane, because I told her about my wetting. My first day she came to my dorm room and saw my bag of Attends Medium. She took one look at me and suggested I go to the campus general store, which did carry Attends Youth Briefs. My waist at 17 was less than 19" and my hips about 23" In the successive decades I have managed to hold my weight (currently 103 lbs at 43!) My waist varies from 22-23" and my hips expanded to 28" According to Attends my hips are on the big side for even the current Youth Briefs. On me the tapes are not in the middle, but if I were slightly bigger they would fit. See why I wear pinned gauze diapers to bed when I am home? Baby Angel aka Angela Bauer

Years ago the first time people in the Hollywood adult spanking community found out I like my diapers, a few teased me. Up to then, when I actually had not known about AB/DL fun, I got along with my diapers, and for spanking parties I would take off my disposable in the ladies room the moment I arrived, then keep track of the time so I could use a toilet every hour. It works okay and I never wet at a party. When other spanking women saw me either removing or taping on my Attends, that was fine, I was incon. Then my sister told me about AB. We attended the next month's spanking party in discreet diapers under our dresses, and as soon as someone found out we like being diapered, attitudes changed. Then, about a year later I married Don Davis. He was a pioneer photographing adult spanking and very popular. The teasing stopped. Two years later as we all were arriving for a spanking con, a leading star and producer asked me to take her to a supermarket and help her select some diapers. I said that would not work because like me she is too small for Depend. I gave her a few Attend Youth/Small briefs. After that, a whole lot of spankers admitted being into diapers. While no diaper vendors had a booth at this year's Shadow Lane adult spanking con in Las Vegas, we had some super subgroup meetings early before the main con party. Here is the link to Fetishcon: http://www.fetishcon.com Don and I love Tampa, but we already have plans for this August. My suggestion is to go to their website and offer to conduct a discussion of all diaper related activities. Look, somebody has to get the ball rolling. I was last teased in 1989. Times have "changed" for the better. Baby Angel, aka Angela Bauer

Hi Legls, Does this mean you are in the profession of Law, or are a law student? When I was in pre-law starting the fall of 1981, I was assigned a dry roommate, although I had written the housing director I wet my bed and therefore would bring my own rubber sheets and also would wear disposable diapers to bed. The first time my roommate wet herself at a kegger, she begged me to diaper and then coach her to diapering herself for future keggers. Okay, let us talk about your questions. Somewhat larger than the Pampers Baby Dry size 6 is the Pampers Cruisers Size 7. However they are designed for different uses. The Baby Dry is designed for naps and bed, when the toddler is not moving much. The Cruisers are for active toddlers and thus are less ideal when the kid is sleeping on back, tummy or side. So, when comparing them for other uses, the size difference is minimal. Baby/Toddler disposables are not nearly long enough to work well on anyone much heavier than the package indicates, which is for the Baby Dry Size 6 over 35 pounds which means up to 40# max. The Cruisers Size 7 is marked for over 40# and is okay up to 48# unless the kid is really skinny. Those Baby Dry can be very handy for adults as stufers inside an adult diaper. Use something like a diaper pin to prick some holes in the outer layer so eventually the wetting flows through the Pamper into the adult diaper. If you use a combination of the Pamper inside, then probably you will be satisfied with an adult brief you can buy locally, such as a Depend Brief or for pull-on the Depend Adjustible Underwear. Please note a smaller Pamper works better because it will fit in the crotch without sticking past the adult diaper's leak barriers. Personally I use Pampers Cruisers Size 4 as my slip-in pads, by cutting off the side tabs. since I want the outer layer to work normally I di not prick it with holes. Now, about diaper fit. It is not your waist measurement that is important it is your hip size and also the length from the back to front of the diaper through your crotch. To measure this get nude and either use a narrow belt or a pieve of string to go around you just above your hips to keep thightening it until you define the smallest dimention. Then use a soft fabric tape measure to measure fron string to string throush your crotch allowing room for your scrotum to be free, not squished. If the diaper you buy is not long enough to be fastened at the hips and above it, then it will always slide off, especially when wet. With stocky heavy men you also need to consider the measurement around your legs at the maximum close to your body. Be sure the diaper leg gather leak barriers are not stretched, they need to be relaxed to move with you. Most men with a 34" waist and not over 180 pounds will fit in a Medium/Large typical adult tape-on and the Small/Medium Depend Adjustable Underwear. With a tape-on brief, get the larger size if you are close to maximum, because it is more effective to reduce the size of a diaper by placing the tapes unusually close to the front center than to try expanding the tabs to meet the front portion. Extra length through the crotch is a good thing, but you will need to keep your shirt tucked in or the back of the diaper top will show beyond normal jeans or slacks. Good wearing of diapers, Angela

What a fascinating question! Absolutely diapers have changed my life for the better. The fact is at puberty in 1976 I started losing my bladder control, so diapers for bed has been absolutely necessary since then. At 20 my day bladder capacity was less than an hour, so functionally I was incontinent and started wearing diapers 24/7. Although I never resisted diapers, for years they were just unusual undies. Then when I was 26 I discovered the joys of AB as a coping strategy for incon adults and teens. When I joined such AB groups as DPF and started communicating with the delightful owner of Infantae Press, I started meeting in person many AB/DL. I was 27 when I married Don Davis. Since then we have traveled all over to AB/DL parties and have friends into diapers all over the world. Honestly without discreet functional diapers I would not have any "spcial continence" and could not function as a responsible adult. Also honestly, without AB to relax me, I would not be happy and I probably would be depressed so much I could hardly function. Embrace your diapers and your inner child. Emotionally own your own wetting. Luvs, Huggies and Pampers, too, Baby angel, aka Angela Bauer

I have to agree with RiDiaperBoy: the poll would not accept just a No to abuse, so I had to also vote the other 2 questions top No. As a child I knew my Granny, Mom and Aunt Betsy wet. When my older sis reached puberty she started wetting her bed. Same for me, and later both my kid sisters. None of us were ever teased. Every bed, even my brothers', had waterproof mattress covers. Vinyl panties of all sizes were kept ready, and stacks of gauze diapers were also always available. During the years between potty training and puberty Mom asked us to wear diapers and panties on trips so we did not need a lot of toilet stops, but that was totally voluntary. If any of us just wanted to wear a diaper at home, all we had to do was ask and Granny, Mom or eventually big sis would pin us up. Although I had often changed my two younger sisters, Mom waited until I started wetting every night to coach me how to pin my own diapers. I did not need day diapers until I started law school, when the lectures were longer than my tiny bladder capacity. Nobody at law school teased me. In middle and high school when I was invited on a sleep-over Mom always told the other mom I was bringing my own rubber sheet and diaper bag. Before gal pals slept at my house their mom was told by my Mom about my diapers. Some of those gals wanted to try a gauze diaper and vinyl panties. In my adult life I did not discover the AB worls until I was 26 and an associate attorney with a big firm. I married Don Davis in 1991 and he totally is supportive of my AB side. We appeared on Montel Williams Show in Feb 1992. I was made a partner of my firm in July 1993. Never has an non-AB/DL ever recognized me from all this outside AB websites. So, I have not suffered any abuse, ever. When I get spanked, it is because I love it when Don spanks me! Baby Angel, aka Angela Bauer

Welcome Storey, your situation is a turn around from the situation in which a boyfriend or husband is trying to sweet talk his significant other into participating in diaper play. Back in 1991 when I decided relaxing as an adult baby (AB) would help me cope with my 24/ incontinence I was so luck that the first AB magazine I ever saw had an article by Don Davis, saying he had been the "Daddy Don" to his late wife. I knew Don would be at a party. So when I introduced myself to him, I knew he understood incontinence and AB for relaxation. We have been happily married over 16 years. Storey, in other posts you did make it clear your told your now husband about your emotional diaper need before your wedding, which was the right and ethical thing to do. There is not any one magic answer to change your husband's mind. How about you take a good look at the photos of diapered men and women in our galleries. Would you ever dress like some of them do? What if you showed some of those pictures to your husband? Continue reading past posts here, because a whole lot of members have given advice on this topic a whole lot of times. The fact is most diaper couples consist of one partner who needs diapers, while the other is indifferent, or even hostile. Marriage can be hard, so those of us who are diapered probably need to put more than our fair share into making our relationship so good our spouse will want to keep us happy, even if that means sometimes seeing us diapered. Take a look in the Links & Announcement section for a topic called "A Very Sad Movie" which has a link to Michael Bryson's 21 minute extended preview of his up-coming feature movie REDEMPTION in which a 22 year old married woman has needed the emotional support of diapers when she is stressed. She puts one one and is sleeping when her husband sees her. Fortunately he is gentle, loving and comforts her. They are cuddling in bed at the fade out, so we don't know if she was still diapered, or if his love allowed her to go diaperless. Best of good wishes, Angela Bauer