littlebopeeper
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Everything posted by littlebopeeper
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Bernice is a neat character, in a really interesting profession. It would make a great story line-- dealing with girls who are still wetting the bed at 18 and above. A sorority that actively recruited bed wetters, maybe a fraternity house doing the same. The possibilities are endless. Are you planning on writing something like this?
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As advertised, emotionally intense. Gotta admit that I didn't put the clues together, but now Vickie's character really makes sense. And she's bringing out the best in Sarah. I also love what you are doing with Bernice and Tippi, who seem so real. Another great chapter, in a terrific story. Can't wait for more.
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Thanks for the heads up, but hope you will change your mind. The readers here are a really diverse lot, so this is a great place to get constructive feedback on your work as it progresses.
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Have to agree with Little Lamb. The continuity problems make the story feel staged. And if AI reduced weeks to hours, should the story be credited to AI? By the way, it would help at the opening to spend more than one sentence on the goings on at the bar. I drink either Patron Silver or a reposado when doing shots, and I flat out guarantee you that I don't hit the floor after three. Are they drinking rotgut? Are they so poor that they can't afford the good stuff. In short, it would really help if you took the time to introduce your characters before diving into the diaper bondage stuff.
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I share your concern for the future of this site. Spider crawls are going to make it very easy to scan content for violations of state laws governing adult content, and the absence of a solid age verification protocol in my judgment will make this site vulnerable on this score. The administrators do a great job when it comes to keeping minors out of sexual situations in stories here, but will that be enough?
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Emotionally, a very, very powerful chapter. The most recent chapter of Aardvark had me laughing, and this one brought tears to my eyes. My heart breaks for Janis. You are tapping into a parent's deep fear of losing a child, and having their children make terrible mistakes as they enter adulthood. This is the cord that's hard to cut. And how good it is to see Sarah helping Vickie as an act of love. Until now, I've wondered whether she was even capable of love.
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What Kills A Story For You?
littlebopeeper replied to PeculiarChangeling's topic in Critiques and Writer's Discussion
Your post is well reasoned, and in the abstract I agree with you. Unfortunately, to judge from the comments that some readers leave on stories pursuing the child abuse through diaper humiliation theme, there are clearly people here cheering on the abuse, and just as clearly enjoying it. The power relationship between parent/stepparent/guardian and child is one-sided, and in the case of prepubescent children, extremely so. It seems to me, therefore, that every author mining this very popular trope should take great care with the subject matter. You have managed this issue very well in your own work, but there are others writing here that do not measure up to your standards. -
Another gripping chapter. Wondered if they left him alone on purpose, to see what he would do. Surprised that they went ahead with the forced breast feeding after seeing him free himself from the changing table. Looking forward to more.
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Good to see that there's gonna be a follow up story about a nanny school. I have wondered how a kid like Veronica (19?) qualified for a job in an alternate sentencing program. Really looking forward to learning whether all the graduates had to experience at first hand the treatment that they would be doling out at a place like BB's.
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Hmm. If Sarah is set on having a baby and Ian is having second thoughts, will Vickie take his place? And if Vickie's job goes bye bye, will there be enough money for Rita to buy her lakeside mansion? And can Rita realize her dream without Sarah's salary? Here's hoping that Ian decides to keep his apartment, and invite Priscilla to move in with him. Great chapter.
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What hotel did you stay at? Do you have any photos to share?
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Another chapter that really is "not for the faint of heart." I'm guessing that somebody betrayed Ian, and that guy is going to have a very bad day when he finally ties all the pieces together. And Vickie? Wow! She's going all out baby. Is it all an act, or is this for real? Can't wait for the next chapter.