Diapersissyboi

I know this is an old post and all that. However the feelings described here i know all to well. The feeling of being someplace you dont belong and dont fit in are always present in me. Along with feeling like the world doesnt want you for a reason thats so clear to them yet you cannot see. These as well are everyday and life long feelings and thoughts within my head. Many more even darker are added to my curse. The pills never really worked they helped some just as counseling did and though not popular here church did help some for me as well. The thing people dont understand is for depression there is no cure. For no matter how on top of the world you feel your always on edge survival mode if you will. For you know even smallest of things can knock you back. Back to the darkness thats cold and empty yet so filled with loneliness and dread. Never knowing how long it will last this time or if you even have the strength to fight to find the simple will to stay alive. For me sleep brings only peace not remembering dreams is a blessing for me. You see sleep is darkness. No pain no fear of anything no mind telling me how very much better the people i love and the world as well be if only i would kill this thing known as me. You see all this i speak of has been going on within me since i was born. Though no cause can be found. Love comes from family though the love we all crave, that for me was never meant to be. Life for me simply put has never been wonderful or grand. Life is hell when your not wanted not loved. The worst thing anyone could be is ME.

Firefly35 your very welcome. I know how hard it can be as i have almost ended this life a few times. Most of the time i am glad it didnt work others well you know. Its a horrible thing no one should ever feel

Firefly35 it could be what i have been diagnosed with and thats chronic depression . it lasts 2 years or more. Then there is bi-polar but this bipolar your normal is everyones depressed and you drop out from there. I have no idea what to tell you will help. But i can tell you that no matter what your mind says your worth it and you belong

Thank you.

I would love to find a daddy to put my chasity on me and spank then diaper me and dress me a bit and make me do what he wants and well only a few things i wouldnt do lol . i have so many ideas and not one person to control me lol thats how it goes

I have fantasized about being forced to wear and wet my diapers. As well as being driven around the city just after dark in the passenger seat of a truck wearing only a tee shirt and diaper so that others in trucks could see the little sissy in a wet diaper including all the truckers as well.

This old diaper lover lives close to kci.

I would be willing as well but since this was last year and the fact i am older than all of you well yeah

Well i always considered myself to be straight. However after acting on curiosities i find i always am seeking a man to use me as i do have sissy and cd tendencies. Sad thing is simply that i am not accepted here where i live so i usually am home taking care of myself which sadly isnt the same. And even after a few experiences i still have never had the elusive hands free orgasm. Want to still but like i said the city i live in is well not very welcoming. In that when trying to hook up and being new and nervous so you decide to not go and you let them know even they "blacklist" you so to speak. Really figured that everyone would be a bit more understanding and accepting in this group of people. Seems here at least in this city that simply is not the case. I no longer care to figure out if i am gay now or bi as it really doesnt matter for any of us as we are all human.

I am wearing a pink megamax from northshore

I wet one 4 times and three of them were wettings that would have caused any other diaper i have tried to leak and my pink megamax diaper held it all and had more room.

I understand your loneliness. The desire for friends, to find a place that one fits in or belongs. I understand that so much. I live alone and i dont socialize outside of work.i have tried here after moving here a while back and have found sadly that there really isnt a place where i will be able to fit in be accepted or belong. Only on line can i find these places sadly its not the same. Just know Cat that your not alone in how you feel.

Just an older guy here in KC thats always thought of himself as a diaper lover but is now sure that i am a sissy. Would love more than anything to male some friends. But i dont count on that.