Work Is So Going To Get Awkward

[Guest Baby Rina]

So I finally got fed up with my boss and all the crap she is constantly putting me and my coworkers through, in fact recently one of them quit because they just couldn't put up with it anymore. The final straw came when after letting me wear "That Guy" on my name tag instead of my actual name she suddenly had a problem with my putting Rina on it 20 days from the hearing that should finalize it and make it my legal name.

I called Corporate and reported her for discrimination based on Gender Identity which the hand book lists in it's things you can't be discriminated for. Among the stuff I listed were the fact that she refuses to let me wear any form of makeup at all, not even to try and hide my beard shadow. Refuses to let me paint my nails, or even grow them longer than my fingers. She won't even let me wear my hair down, on the clock she requires me to wear it pulled back tight in a pony tail. I was passed over for the promotion to Assistant Manager in favor of a girl she had just hired, though part way through training the new employee she offered me the position leaving the choice of either turn it down or appear to be a horrible person, and now that same girl has quit I sense that the position (currently vacant) will be offered to someone else off the street rather than to me.

For the record the dress code for the company does not list any of these as requirements anywhere for either side of the gender line. I used to before i started to transition and would appear as a man paint my nails and she had no problems with it then, and wouldn't require that i pull my hair back unless some corporate suit or another was in the neighborhood and he might come in, but now ever since i started taking hormones she has really got a stick up her butt concerning anything that I might do with regards to being feminine in /her/ store. I have even had customers who deal with me outside of the store complain about these issues to another employee.

[Leilin]

Sounds to me like you have a very strong case, and, if your state law list transgender as a protected class, probably a strong legal case too.

[Guest Baby Rina]

Oh i don't know about state law... i never thought about it. If corporate is going to handle her now that they have been made aware, i don't see the need to go after them at all in a legal battle... I thought it was rather nice that the person i was dealing with in HR even after telling me it was policy to wear my legal name asked me what my preferred name was and made it a point to call me Rina after that during our conversation.

[Fontaine]

It sounds like the people at the top at least sound empathetic if nothing else. Sucks though that you have to go through that.

[Guest Baby Rina]

I tried for so long to be a team player and just keep quiet and hope things would get better, but they haven't. If anything the boss lady has gotten more unhinged lately and seems to only care about herself and screws every other employee to get what she wants. It was one thing when the group seemed better to keep her but now that she's destroying the harmony of the group I'm going to vent each and every single complaint I have about her and her actions at the store to the corporate suits until she's gone...

[Leilin]

Just remember that while you may not have a right to an unconditional job, you do have a right to a workplace which treats you equally with other employees, independent of merit factors. Discrimination based on protected status is illegal. Again, that depends on state, but yeah. Just make sure that you're looking out for yourself. Being a team player is one thing. Letting yourself get walked all over by a bigot is another.

[Guest Baby Rina]

When whoever comes to the store to collect whatever information they can, I can assure you that this discrimination matter is not the only issue that will be put forward... It's just the one that finally got to the place where I can't take it anymore. Even if they don't want to fire her and want to do sensitivity training or some other stupid bull shit, the rest of the list should easily put her on the 'you be fired' list.

I just wish we could have all played nice. I don't think wearing my hair down, getting french tips, and covering a beard shadow is worth losing a job... but I don't think it's my job that's being called into question.

[wetman]

Rina, that company you work for isn't based in Rochester, NY?

[aleyxsis]

all the best rina it is a hard long road my dear ! .Hope you can make i never even have tried so im with ya !

[Guest Baby Rina]

No not NY, Charlotte North Carolina, though our distribution hub is in Rome New York.

Thanks aleyxsis i appreciate it.

I used to joke that I was the first generation in my family not to file my teeth, and that I was also the first generation not to find themselves in a fight for their lives. This morning when I rolled out of bed my teeth felt sharper... yea it's gonna be a long week.

[wetman]

At least you don't work for any of them*, then. So there's hope.

I really hope you go through the transition phase alright, I hope that for every T-whatever because I never had the courage to do it when I should have done it and chose an easier life...

Good luck, Rina!

*Something like Primatech Paper...

[Guest Baby Rina]

Hey it's not courage that drives me.. if it were courage i would have done this when I was 18 and not when I was 26... at this point I'm finally doing it because I sat down one night and said look, either we do this... or we kill ourself and... I was a little too scared to look on the other side of the veil... so now I have ta-tas that other girls are jealous of ^.^

[RC-db-UK]

rina it's all ways a better case if u have the law on your side then the company has to take action thay wont have a choice

[Guest Baby Rina]

Well like I said before, I don't know what the State law is... and I'm not nursing a bit of a hangover so I don't want to check too much right now... BUT There own handbook lists Gender Identity as something that can't be discriminated against so I'm pretty sure corporate will handle it before it has to get into the courts

[Guest Baby Rina]

Well i still haven't heard anything back from corporate at all to say they've done anything... but i've never let that stop me from doing something brash. i made up my mind a little bit ago that come spring i was going to move to Arizona to be with a bunch of friends from college who i recently reconnected with and have been having so much fun with. I figure if i can't take my job and am going to quit anyways... why look for another job in PA and be alone when i can go be with a bunch of people who actually want to do stuff and welcome me into their family.

Also, i work ALL day tomorrow, and it's inventory so i'm pretty sure the District Manger will be there for at least part of it... and i feel like causing a problem so i am thinking really hard about wearing some natural eye shadow colors and painting my nails like i used to just to see if i can instigate something... i know it's a bad idea and even if it doesn't get me fired it will ratchet the pressure up another 10 notches at work but i don't care. I posted some new pics of me on facebook that a lot of people are complimenting and calling be gorgeous and beautiful and ... why shouldn't i do that at work too? if i'm willing to cut myself away from everyone i've known here to stand out in Arizona with people who are willing to love me, why shouldn't i stand up here for the person that i am??

[Guest Baby Rina]

So... as of about 26 September 2:30Pm Eastern time... my legal name name is Sarina ... W00T

The boss (bitch) said that i'll have to call the District Manager to come in and do the paperwork change as it's apparently beyond her... which after she ignored me for as long as she could before saying anything to me when i came into work, and her normal hostile reaction towards anything i do regarding my transitioning that she won't do it and i can't make her so... i'll be calling him as soon as i have that certified copy to show him (i dunno if he'll need that but i'll still wait just to make sure)

[wetman]

Congratulations on your new, real name! Sarina sounds nice and really suits you (That is your picture in the profile? Love the hair!).

Do change your profile, you're not male any more!

All the best,

nettie

(that's my alter ego, Annette.)

[Guest Baby Rina]

Yea that's a picture of me and that's my real hair too, just a bit of mousse in it, no straightener or curling iron.

Also when i got called in for the hearing the guy asked if i was J... and when he looked he trailed off before finishing my old name and just used my last name and i nodded. Then when i was actually in the hearing the judge asked me why i was changing my name and i said that i was transitioning and thought that my old manly name was no longer appropriate and he said that was correct with a bit of a smile. During the whole thing i was called Miss and then when it was done he told me it wasn't so hard was it? and called me miss again... i think i blushed SO much. Better than that though after it was finished was getting to go around town and tell everyone that had been so supportive of it and adopted my new name early that i had succeeded and it was now my name for reals... it was just like AMAZING

[Rihanna]

Congratulations!

[Guest Baby Rina]

Today's fun... Dr shopping for someone to fill out a DL-32 so when i get my ID that says Sarina it'll also say female on it :S ... really should have had a counselor already... really don't like them... they scare me, it's a long story :S

EDIT: I now actually have the certified order in my hand to take to my boss and actually staple to her forehead to make her make the changes in the computer and make it say Sarina on my register slips and when i punch in and out... KICK ASS!

Edited September 28, 2011 by Baby Rina

[Saschadzg]

Congratulations on your name change!

[Guest Baby Rina]

And today i got my temporary ID showing my new name on it. I should have the permanent one in a week so i can go get my Social Security card changed too.

[lilJester]

Bear in mind, one of the fun things about being a teamplayer... is the occasional team kill =0)

[Guest Baby Rina]

I went up to the bank yesterday for a change run and had a very nice little chat with the tellers at the bank, they've been so nice with all of my transitioning and stuff, we talked a bit about my boss and how... i'm not the only person to have various less than super interactions with her. The one lady asked me where i came up with my new name of Sarina. AND when i pulled a 20 out of my account my name had already changed so i got to order my new debit card with my new name ^.^

[Guest Baby Rina]

Back on proper subject here. I sent an email to team relations today just to get a bit of an update. Got a call from Team Relations today at work, they called me Sarina which made me smile. They investigated a complaint i had filed in the whole big long thingy about her having her family 'assist' at the store for various employee jobs such as unloading the truck in the back and building fixtures, someone came in last week to collect data and it's now being analyzed. They also said that District Manager was investigating my /other/ large complaint... i need to talk to him again soon anyways....

In other less than related awesomes. I have my non temp ID now, a new bank card, ordered new checks, and filed for a new social security card with the new name. A lot of my customers have started using the new name, or at least are trying too