Hello, I'm back... kinda

[Demon-hunter]

Hey guys, I've been forced to give up my abdl life due to my wife severe negativity towards it. https://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?/topic/88330-needing-prays/

Here's a link about my journey with it kinda. There's ALOT more details that I haven't add in the past years and new stuff in the past 12 months, I want to rant and vent about my life in the past 8 years that abdl and non abdl related with the wife and others, but idk where to start or process. I don't want to go to a therapist, cuaee want to talk to people i trust and fully understands me. But I need a hug right now tho...... 

And to start with, she doesn't know I'm back on here or think of abdl stuff again. And if she dose she will kill me....

[~Brian~]

7 hours ago, Demon-hunter said:

Hey guys, I've been forced to give up my abdl life due to my wife severe negativity towards it. https://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?/topic/88330-needing-prays/

@Demon-hunter

 I am sorry to hear of your problem! I can understand that there may be problems in marriages, and that is normal I guess, but I don’t quite get why your wife, who was so supportive of you at the beginning of this, when you told her everything, is now telling you to just throw away all of the things that have to do with being an  ABDL.  doing so is the equivalent of me saying “I’m not disabled anymore, so I throw away my wheelchair, my walker, my crutches, and any of my other assistive devices, and now I don’t have any way to move around my house or do anything constructive”

One of the things that I don’t think your wife quite understand, is the fact that once you are “wired“ the way you are, that never changes. You may be able to stop doing some of the things she request for a short time or maybe for a longer time period, but the factor means that you still are what you are, regardless of what your wife thinks, regardless of what your wife says, and regardless of what she threatens to do or how many times she gets mad at you. I believe most of the problem is that your friend got in trouble for what he did, and it might still be some thing that your wife cannot deal with, and that is not your fault, as far as I can tell. 

It is very sad that you have to make the decision between this life and your wife. Not sure why she would have to. Have you make the choice that you do, because she may tell you to “get rid of all your accounts and delete all of your ABDL accounts from all servers, and do everything that she says. The fact remains that regardless of what she tells you to do we are still going to be the same person that you are, and that won’t change just like I said I have CP, and regardless of how many times somebody tells me to do some thing I’m still going to have CP in the end, I’m still gonna need diapers and I’m still wearing them and I need them, and you may need those type of comfort because of what you’re going through which to me sounds like hell in Hades times 100.

I don’t believe that you were going to change to meet your wife’s “standards“ anymore than I am going to be able to magically be able to walk without any assistance and I won’t be disabled anymore. Sometimes things that are asked of you are way too hard to deal with and it’s like asking for you to cut off your arm. When you need your arms are cut off your leg when you need your legs, and she’s not giving you any other choice. This is going to be one of the hardest things that you have to deal with and unfortunately I don’t see how your wife can do what she does, and still be “OK with what she does, because, even if you’ve made mistakes, she’s made some too, and she can’t hold everything over your head like this !” 

i’m not sure if there’s any way that you will be able to satisfy both conditions you giving up ABDL and also remain married to her. It just sounds like a humongous mess that’s gotten worse because she can’t except it anymore and she did except it at one point I’m not sure exactly what else to say. Other than the fact that I think your wife is blowing this thing way out of proportion, and there are more problems here than just a lifestyle choice. This is way beyond a simple request, because this is a life-changing request, and, I don’t know how you would be able to handle complying with her request and still be the man you are. I am a DL for example and I am going to be a deal until I am dead, I’m still going to Lake diapers I’m still gonna have to wear diapers and I don’t care, no one is going to tell me and I need to give up what I have, because that’s not fair . What is your wife willing to do for you if you do something for her? It sounds like it’s her giving the orders and you not being able to comply with your orders because you simply cannot do it you’re still gonna be the same guy you’re still gonna have the same problems you have, this just is one hell of a huge headache that is being caused because your wife is giving you “ultimatums“ and I’m not sure if that is something that you can deal with . 

even when you have problems in life, you have to have a fallback position you have to have some way to be able to deal with whatever you’re dealing with. You have to have some thing to deal with it, a coping mechanism, which you already have, it’s just some thing that she can’t deal with anymore, but she hasn’t given you, any choice which isn’t fair either to end up telling you that you cannot indulge, and that you have to give everything up. That’s a little bit one-sided as far as I’m concerned, and I am just calling it as I see it. Everyone needs an escape. During the Covid pandemic, when it was so ramp, I spent hours and hours and hours and hours upon hours here on daily diapers I didn’t watch TV I didn’t worry about the world around me. I didn’t worry about anything other than making sure that I was safe, I ended up doing everything someone told me to do because I wanted to be safe, I didn’t see anyone for over a year, and that’s what you have to do when you have to do something like this. You have to make sacrifices, but to me it sounds like your wife is making you make the sacrifice and she doesn’t have to make one at all. I believe in all my being that she’s asking way too much, and I don’t think it’s fair. Maybe somebody will think otherwise, but I think she’s pushing it, and she’s not even allowing you away to show that you are having issues too.

Friends of mine always used to say “it takes two to start an argument“ to me, it just sounds like Christianity is taking over reality here, and she’s making you give everything up that’s not fair. I had an ex fiancé that used to do that to me, she used to tell me where I was to go when I could go somewhere how long I could stay somewhere, and then she would make it hell for me on my home turf. I had to go all the way to Tallahassee Florida twice to be able to finally tell my friends exactly how I felt, and the thing was they already knew what the heck I was feeling like even before I said it. It took a lot of good friends to be able to tell me that the relationship I was in was “not good for me“ I almost ended up in a hospital because of this type of nonsense, and I don’t want the same for you!

I honestly believe that she’s asking way too much of you too fast, and I don’t know exactly know what she’s using for support on her end, but she first supported you, and now she is not which doesn’t make sense, but if she’s changed her tune it’s probably because of that friend that you talked about that screwed up, and got into trouble I believe with the law? I’m not sure why your friends mistake needs to be your downfall, but I don’t know if there is a way that you and your wife will be able to come to a agreement, because she’s basically giving you that I get rid of it or else response. 

when my girlfriend gave me that as a response, I told her to hit the road! I came back and was here for a month before I finally said, I’ve had enough of this, get the hell out of here, and when she didn’t do that, she interfered with my ability to function as a tenant in my building, and I finally was able to get a hold of the Director of housing. When she found out exactly what the heck was happening, along with my friend who I worked for for many years, they realize that this was a toxic relationship and they helped me to get rid of the problem. She was asked to report to the leasing office and was given an option either she leaves and goes home or she leaves and goes to another building where I do not reside. Her mother took care of that and told her that she was going home. That solved my problem, and the following year I actually returned to Tallahassee a different man, the man that I wanted to be, and I was able to be the person that I could not be in front of her because I was afraid she was going to get after me. She wanted too much out of me and she wanted control from me and that’s not the type of person I am . 

in my case, I had to get tough because I’m not gonna let my girlfriend weasel her way into what I do and make me spend less than less time in my home environment. I almost ended up in the hospital because of her shenanigans. Thank God I had people in Tallahassee Freenet that were able to tell me that this was a bad idea, and I’ll tell you one thing I’m damn glad because one of the things she wanted me to do was to give up my access on Tallahassee Freenet, I would not do that for her. I will not do that for anyone, and that is where I finally said enough is enough get out of here! 

it felt good to be able to do that, because I had everybody behind me. You definitely need a way to deal with this situation, you need to be able to talk to somebody that will not judge you, will not attack you, will not make you feel bad, because of who you are, and what you are, well not, tell you that the Lord will “striking down our other types of things“. You are who you are and that’s not going to change regardless of whether your wife ask you to stop doing this or stop doing something else. All I can tell you is when I had to finally step in and say I’ve had enough, it felt good, and it took me a while to finally realize I don’t have to answer to her. I don’t have to answer to anyone because I am in control of my own affairs. When you’re married, you always have , you should have a way to deal with situation, when I ask my stepfather one day, the secret of a good marriage, he said, that “secrets: we don’t have any we talk about everything“ I’ll never forget those words as long as I live, and for this to be true, it’s still is my parents are almost 75 years old  my dad will be 78 and they have been an awesome role models and people that I can look up to and they’ve helped me through hell and back and I’ll never forget that, but they’ve never asked me to do some thing that I can’t do and they would never intrude on my ability to do what I want to do unless of course there’s something that  would hurt me. 
 

May God give you the strength and the power, and the wisdom to be able to deal with this situation in an appropriate manner. As others have stated in the post prior to this, you may have to make the ultimate sacrifice because your wife is just being too darn controlling and is asking you to give up everything you are as a human being, stop being who you are, and what you are, and those things are way too much for anyone to ask. If she loves you and cares about you, she wouldn’t be willing to tell you to throw it all away and delete everything because that’s like ripping your heart out and having it stomped into the floor!

 I wish you the best of luck, and I hope that my advice will help you in someway, I’m not married, and I will stay single, because I don’t have to worry about stuff like this, but because of my CP, I don’t have to worry about wearing diapers or somebody finding out about it because I need them, And there’s nothing that’s going to change that. Wearing diapers helps me relax and keeps me and my anxiety under control. I don’t know if your wife understands is the way we do, but diapers do have a plus, but in your case, it’s a minus because your wife doesn’t accept and will not except any of this. 
 

Brian

[Demon-hunter]

@~Brian~ well here another big situation.... we are pregnant with twin boys and they are due in a couple months 

 

But I still love her and I know she still loves me, we do have great times with each other we laugh at each other's Joe's we do for stuff for each other and we love each other very much and do have the same political and same faith, but are moral values and the way we see life and what we want to do with our lives are kind of very different. 

She wants to live in the outside of town and have a homestead, but I want to say in a bigger city and  live a Suburban life.

She wants a homeschool kids but I want to put my kids in public school

She thinks drinking alcohol or dealing with marijuana is wrong and sinful and I don't see that at all it's all based on moderation and self-discipline.

She thinks man-caves and unnecessary, especially when you're a dad, but I totally disagree with that 

But I could go on and on about that different opinions on from culture, political, religious, financial, and so on that we have though.

I think my issue is I don't know how to grow a pair or stand up for myself and all I do is fawn

And also I'm trying so hard not to make it sound like I hate my wife or dog on her so much and don't crap about her cuz I do really really love her and I do respect her and I don't when people trash her. Because her and I went through a lot of trauma in the past almost 8 years since they've been together from loss of loved ones life changing health issues, and humiliations from people who backsteps us. I guess I don't know what to do

[~Brian~]

22 minutes ago, Demon-hunter said:

@~Brian~ well here another big situation.... we are pregnant with twin boys and they are due in a couple months 

@Demon-hunter

well! That is good news! However, I’m not sure how you and your wife will be able to deal with the situation if she’s asking you to “give up all of your ABDL lifestyle.” Whatever the situation. i’m not sure how you will be able to deal with her giving you the ultimate sacrifice ultimatum, while she is not willing to give an inch. That is a problem, and to be successful you must figure out a way to come to an agreement, and if she is unwilling to come to an agreement, then it just sounds like she’s asking too much. You may love her, and I respect that, but I also know, and you also know that if you are who you are, you just can’t give it up and walk away, it’s harder to do than it is to say, it’s even harder to have to give it up and throw it away 

Brian

Edited November 2 by ~Brian~
Punctuation, edit

[Demon-hunter]

Idk how to grow a back bone and it's killing me

[~Brian~]

12 hours ago, Demon-hunter said:

Idk how to grow a back bone and it's killing me

@Demon-hunter

I was wondering the same thing when I had a problem with my former fiancé. I was wondering myself how in the world I was going to “grow a backbone” and take care of this, but I did it at my parents house, and I let her know there’s no way in hell that I’m gonna come home if I get treated like this. It was one thing when she decided she wanted to talk to me, but she always always always wrote me, pages and pages of hand written stuff. I would read this, and I would figure out exactly what was going on with her, but she had a problem talking to me, and I guess I had a problem, talking to her, but that night I really decided to let her have it. 

In my situation, I told her straight up “I can’t take this anymore, and I’m getting sick of being told to do everything and not having a way to let people know how I feel” so I let her know: I was sick and tired of feeling like there were three people in the house, but two of them weren’t talking to me, and it wasn’t good at all. I was almost put in the hospital because of this ridiculousness and she didn’t care about me at the time, but she was giving me orders to “return home“. I told her with all due respect that I “don’t take orders from anyone, especially someone who disrespected me to the point where I almost ended up in hospital, and if it wasn’t for my doctor, that’s exactly where I would be! “ I spent almost 2 months living downstairs in my parents basement because of this ridiculous and heartless response, and she wanted me to go home, so we could “have sex” and I told her “hell no!” 
 

with all due respect, I’m not suggesting that you go in and start yelling at your wife and causing a problem. If she really has a problem with you, she owes you an explanation, and the problem is she’s told you all the stuff like it’s a “final ultimatum“ but, the problem is is that she only wants you to do this, and it just seems really stupid. I know that it can be hard if a person is an AB or DL, and that can be stressful sometimes but as I said, I think your wife is asking too much too fast, and I think there is a problem here that needs to be resolved, but since you were going to be a father in two months and you love your wife, as you say, this might be one of the hardest things you have to do, but you cannot allow your wife to “always get her way“, because that means you lose, and she wins, but then you both lose, because you feel crappy you feel awful, you feel like you have let your wife down or you feel as if you can’t state the obvious, which is you have a problem with what she’s telling you. When I had to stand up for myself, I finally had the nerve to tell her exactly how I felt, and I told her that my health is more important than a relationship that almost put me in a hospital. I told her that she was being over, bearing and not listening to me, but I also admitted that I have faults too, but she wanted  to blame me for everything and that wasn’t good. I told her it takes two to make a relationship, and of course, how in the world can I be 110% responsible for all of what happened during our relationship when she would write me page after page after page of stuff, telling me how she felt, but then of course, I couldn’t talk to her either because she would just shut down and not do anything ? 

as I said before, that is why I am single, and I’m staying that way. I had a rule when I was living with roommates in the old housing complex, which is in the same place as my apartment is now, that all of my relationships if I have women as roommates are “platonic and that’s it“ I don’t mind having conversations with them, doing things with them, enjoying time with them, or whatever, but it’s a platonic relationship because it’s not healthy because as I learned during this particular situation that I’m talking about, it can ruin everybody’s enjoyment of their apartments, or the enjoyment of what they want to do . I thought it wouldn’t be fair to everyone if one relationship dies and then all everyone does is they want to get even or they want to get mad. When you live with three other roommates like I used to do you have to maintain integrity of everybody else as well because one relationship going south also can affect three other roommates, which isn’t good. 

I know you love your wife, and that is obvious because that is what you said. However, if your wife is unable or unwilling to, except what you are, and also remember that you love her, and you are a Christian man, and I respect that I wouldn’t care what your religion is because you have the right to be in believe what you want to believe that is a good thing about America. There is no way someone’s gonna tell you that you have to be one religion. I grew up, and my mom‘s parents were Catholic. My dad‘s parents were protestants. When I asked my grandpa BAKER, what that meant, he said that you “are protesting the Catholic religion,” as they were talking about in history books, and when I read the history books, I understood exactly what he said I guess it started with Martin Luther, who wrote the “10 thesis, or “things wrong with the Catholic Church, and then attached it to the door of the church, I believe, and those are the 10 things that Martin Luther thought were wrong with the church, which is his right to post and that’s what started a whole bunch of stuff about the differences in religion. I am proudly volunteering for the local church in MONTPELIER where are used to work. I still consider myself a volunteer there, but because of damage to the building because of the floods in the last two years, our basement is destroyed and they’re rebuilding the church , as far as the inside wiring and everything else that was destroyed like the heating system and all of that. We have the boiler downstairs with that is scheduled to be moved at some point, and we have a full electrical room upstairs on the first level, and everything is wired in, but now it’s getting finished . I would do anything for the church that I volunteer at because it is Methodist, because I love the people there, because I understand a lot of different things, and I’ve learned things from people that are twice my age, and I mean, when I was about 40, I was , taking cues from people that were in their 80s, and I respect him, I didn’t necessarily agree with all of them, but I do respect them. I do miss that type of work because that’s the way I give back to the community and I feel as if I haven’t been able to do that, but it isn’t my fault, and the Lord will make sure that we are taken care of. I’m just not sure how is God can answer prayers in any way he sees fit. 

I do hope that it’s someway you were able to deal with this situation in an appropriate way, because to me, like I said, you can’t specifically just “shut off“ your feelings, or the action of wearing diapers, and liking them, if you’re wired that way, that’s the way you are, in no way, shape or form. Can anyone change that unless you want to change that. If you can’t change it, or you don’t want to that shouldn’t be held against you, neither should your friends actions that you talked about in the first post, the one that got in trouble with the law: that’s not your fault, but I think your wife is still asking you way too much way too fast and it’s not fair. I’m sure there will be others that will have other opinions and I understand that, but if you’re worried the way you are and you like diapers and you want to wear diapers, no amount of asking you or ordering you to give it up. It’s going to change the point you were still going to be who you are. The only way this is going to solve is if you work together to try to solve it and your wife sees that you are not broken. You are not something that is criminal, this is just some thing that you do. I want to read people thinking that, because we were diapers or we like them that we are bad people, but that’s not the deal at all. There are many people on DD, that wear diapers every day, and they are professionals. They are Mother’s or fathers, or construction workers, or some other type of work, maybe even the granite industry, if you have granite where you are, I do have granite in my area. The point is is that there’s many people that could wear diapers and it’s not a big deal. Your wife should not be asking you to give up everything all at once. It’s just like I said my ex wanted me to give up my access on the Internet in Tallahassee. Freenet was the only way that I could do things online because of the way the system was set up. I had my own email account, I communicated with my friends, and 1993 I graduated from college, I asked my college advisor to have a talk with my mom because I figured it would be important. This guy was instrumental in helping me to get through some of the stress and some of the overlying problems I was having . I spent many hours in his office after class, or just sitting in his office, talking about stuff, shooting the breeze, looking out the window at the lake and admiring the nice place that I live, or the fact that I could talk to a man that I respected because he was a educational, professional, with a doctoral degree, and a real good handle on what the heck is going on. He convinced my mother in a matter of minutes that giving up Tallahassee Freenet would be a bad thing, and I need to continue to talk to my friends, and it was those friends who came to my aid when I was engaged to what they considered the “wicked witch of the north“. She had even made calls to my friends down there and sent emails asking if “she could come down and stay“ I got those emails forwarded to me because my friends wanted me to see that she had communicated with them, and all I had to do was laugh, because I remember many of my friends saying “hell no she’s not staying here“ my friends were there when I needed them. They were my backbone when I didn’t feel like I had enough strength to be able to do what I needed to do. I even had to call my friend DAVID, who is the administrator of the IRC system, and the Director Freenet at the time and ask for his advice, because I talk to the man I enjoyed his talking, and I actually felt as if he was “my second dad” and I told my mother that if I were to call him my second dad, that means that I respect him to that level just like I respect my own father. A lot of us were in our teens and early 20s when we were online, and he was the one person that always made sure that we were safe and didn’t allow a whole bunch of weird people on the line and everything else. My point here is is that if you have someone that you can trust, and you have someone that you can talk to? It’s a lot easier to deal with. it. I also learned a valuable lesson, and that lesson is to let my hair down and be myself, don’t be something that you’re not, and don’t let anyone try to change you into something that you’re not because that will always backfire. I still remember those words burned in my memory from those days when I went down I went down three times from 95, 96,99 and 2016, but in 2016 I did not see my friends again it’s been several years since that happened, but those friends are ones that you meet you hang out for a while or you talk to him for a while and then you don’t see him for a long time with their advice sticks with me. My friend DAVID has long dead. He died in 2003, but I remember very very vividly the day that that happened. I remember calling him when I was in the hospital. I remember being online when I was in the hospital with my appendix ruptured at 30 years old, those are my friends and I wasn’t gonna abandon them and I knew that I could talk to them because at the time, I step mom’s former husband had hooked up his laptop in the hospital so I can dial out to U-32 hi school online system, and then once I got a new 32 I couldn’t perform any telling it to my online system.

when you have friends like that, you always try to listen to them I remember spending many hours talking to them. They gave me good advice, and there’s sometimes that I remember what they tell me and I miss them, but that was a long time ago, even though I’m not sure what happened to some of them. I’m sure that what they told me will always be something I remember. Especially my friend DAVID, who told me exactly what I told you, beat yourself and don’t let anyone other than yourself be the one that wants to change. If you don’t, you will be a person that you are not you will be a person that is sad. You will be a person that is upset. You will end up being a guy that feels bad because he cannot figure out, how to say what needs to be said to his wife. I don’t want to start a fight here and that is not what I’m trying to say, but eventually you will have to say something to your wife and I’m not sure exactly how you will do that. 

I’m glad to hear that you will have a baby soon: hopefully you will be able to do something so that you don’t end up having to feel so conflicted. It’s very hard to do it when you feel alone without someone to understand where you stand. As I said, I’m not gonna give up being who I am because of my ex, and my ex was like Attila, the Hun, always want things done her way or the highway, I hope your relationship isn’t the same way, because that is one of the reasons why I couldn’t stand it. It changed me into a very bitter man that didn’t feel very good about himself let alone wanting to have a relationship with a girl who didn’t trust them and always told me what I needed to do and what I didn’t need to do, at one time, I raise my voice to work and said that I was going to do what I had to do and  that was that, and I told her “do you understand me?“ I told her that no one was going to tell me what to do when I’m going to make the decision that I have to make. Otherwise there’s gonna be some trouble, and you won’t like it. I don’t like to fight I don’t want to put my hands on anyone, but I use my words telling her exactly the way it felt. I felt like she didn’t trust me and I felt like , she didn’t love me either, and it was obvious because she was telling me what to do with every turn. You don’t wanna do it that way, but I’m just telling you that eventually you’ll have to tell your wife something it’s just a matter of what and when and where you want to do that. Because you’ll be a new father in a couple of months you’ll have to figure this out one way or the other so I’m not sure how you plan on doing it or if you had a plan of attack by , you’ll have to figure that out. 

May the Lord give you strength and wisdom, and the ability to figure out a way to get through this rocky time. As I said, I know you love your wife, but this is one of the things that you’ll have to do when it may be one of the hardest things you ever have to do. I keep thinking that your wife is asking you for the ultimate sacrifice, but I’m not sure what she expects other than for you to give it all up and throw it away. That’s way too much to ask. 

Take care of my friend!

Brian

[Demon-hunter]

@~Brian~"and she wanted me to go home, so we could “have sex” and I told her “hell no!”

it's funny you say that, cause after if I know that I was still in the big deal stuff last October, she wanted to have sex for like three or four nights in a row and that's extremely unlik her because I will be lucky to have sex with once a month normally. And also one she found out, she yelled at me about now she knows why I've been thinking about while we're having sex in my abdl fantasy and age play stuff, call it disgusting and may her feel like a disgusting pedo or whatever, and threatened with held sex from me if I keep on having sexual abdl fantasy while having sex. And then somehow she tried to compare abdl to poly-relationship as if, " what would you do if I was into having sex with other guys and stuff like that". Which I thought you would normally go down her route of saying like what if I was into being a dog or something ( aka a furry, but she always has insulted and discriminate furries). Speaking of sex in general I kind of given up trying search sex because every time I'm horny I want to do stuff with her she has an excuse and stuff or she just moved my hand away from her boobs or girly parts and I've given up trying. But I get enough trying to start sex like a year and a half or almost 2 years ago. ( but now I get alot more sex due to her pregnancy hormones).

So now I get very Vanille sex. And she used to be very "flavorful" she was into bongage and stuff but now anymore. I'm just waiting for her to throw my butt plugs out

So now I get very Vanille sex. And she used to be very "flavorful" she was into bongage and stuff but now anymore. I'm just waiting for her to throw my butt plugs out

[Demon-hunter]

Also I believe that most of this is coming from religious views. I mean of course both of my wife and I are Christians but she's a little bit more on the conservative spectrum of being a Christian I'm more of a moderate spectrum of being a Christian ( but standard politicalness were both moderate-right leaning) like I'm a little bit more open-minded than her with a lot of issues and beliefs and we do Butthead a lot with that at times

[SpiderBaby]

On 11/1/2024 at 11:41 AM, Demon-hunter said:

Hey guys, I've been forced to give up my abdl life due to my wife severe negativity towards it. https://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?/topic/88330-needing-prays/

Here's a link about my journey with it kinda. There's ALOT more details that I haven't add in the past years and new stuff in the past 12 months, I want to rant and vent about my life in the past 8 years that abdl and non abdl related with the wife and others, but idk where to start or process. I don't want to go to a therapist, cuaee want to talk to people i trust and fully understands me. But I need a hug right now tho...... 

And to start with, she doesn't know I'm back on here or think of abdl stuff again. And if she dose she will kill me....

Aww! Big hugs little one! I'm so sorry you're having to go through that. You seem like a very nice guy too. It's terrible when the people closest to you don't understand how you feel. Just know that if you need someone to talk to, I'm always here. Love you!♥️🙂😊

[Demon-hunter]

@Little Spiderthank you, it's alot....

[SpiderBaby]

2 hours ago, Demon-hunter said:

@Little Spiderthank you, it's alot....

You're welcome!😊

[Demon-hunter]

The one thing that worse the crap out of me is the that last year she threatened to somewhat to leave me cause of my abdl. And now we're going to have two boys in our lives makes this even harder to open up and stand up for myself 

[Demon-hunter]

Plus I would like to add. just because I'm an abdl, doesn't mean I'm incapable of being a father, a husband and a little, and i know when time to be a dad and a time to be my abdl self. 

And I know what precautions to take to you know hide your stash from your kids and know how to set boundaries.

[SpiderBaby]

1 hour ago, Demon-hunter said:

The one thing that worse the crap out of me is the that last year she threatened to somewhat to leave me cause of my abdl. And now we're going to have two boys in our lives makes this even harder to open up and stand up for myself 

Yeah I feel for you big brother. Congratulations on having kids though. I'm very happy for you!😊♥️

1 hour ago, Demon-hunter said:

Plus I would like to add. just because I'm an abdl, doesn't mean I'm incapable of being a father, a husband and a little, and i know when time to be a dad and a time to be my abdl self. 

And I know what precautions to take to you know hide your stash from your kids and know how to set boundaries.

Yeah that's true. I know many people that are husbands and fathers and ABDLs that have kids and I know that you're find a perfect balance between the two and take precautions to set boundaries with your kids. I just hope your wife comes around and accepts this side of you eventually. Not being able to be yourself really sucks, especially around the ones you love.

[Demon-hunter]

I want to learn self confidence and backbone but where to start tho

[Demon-hunter]

You know the one thing I hate about my situation

Is the fact not only I am currently out of the loop or an unable to enjoy maybe deal stuff or preschool stuff like Nick Jr shows or Disney Junior shows that are currently on.

But I've come to realize there are so many stuff like that I have missed out in opportunities of doing or watching or engaging. For example lion guards that's that girl ran in the first half of 2010s and I have only seen like one or two episodes. And now when I see stuff about it I geek out a little bit. But too little too late because there's no merchandise on sale in General stores heck I can't even enjoy them now because I love the woman who doesn't like it

I guess that's one of my biggest regrets is when I was single I never took advantage of my abdl side

Heck even fully embracing that

The ones I am afraid that might happen to me though is me going through midlife crisis down the road and doing something really ridiculous like going on abdl mode without stopping or caring. Like i don't want lose my wife or my kids. But right now I just feel so much self abandonment over the past years. Not only with just with my everyday side but a few other morals, beliefs, activities, personality, friendship, and other things as well. 

I really don't know what it is or what's going on

[Demon-hunter]

So my wife asked me how was I doing with my Abdl side Wednesday night. Wanting to see if I "relapse" or been i sites like this. Obviously my wife was having a bit of a panic attack and I had to impulsively lied to her to defend myself. Then then next thing you know we are doing Bible study together (which I am fine with). Then we read the first four chapters of proverbs, and then she went on a hole hot take rant about how we need to separate ourself in the world, Christians should be better than what should be now, Christianity should conform to the world and it's lifestyles and so on so forth like celebrate Halloween, sexual impurity, drugs, cussing, bad shows, bad music, bad video games, and alcohol are all bad. you know the whole typical Christian thing to say. 

What can I do, if I challenge her on her beliefs of that (which I do believe and agree in an extent but im not very radical) of that then I probably be rail to the wall with a lecture and how I should question my salvation ( which she has done a few times) 

And then the whole night I felt like I was walking on pins and needles and have an internal anxiety and Immediately went to fawning and staying in line.

Idk what to do. I want to stand up to her not only for my abdl side but for a lot of topics that we disagree with.

And I know what's really driving most of the issue is because of faith and how that's everything's all based on that. Which again I do not mind but I'm not radical I'm way more open minded then that.

I know what I need to do and what to say but my issue is I don't have a voice in me anymore...

And now I'm starting to think about talking to a professional about this but I don't want my wife to know yet, but idk how to do that when she has a Tracker App on my phone and round me all the time

And I don't want to raise my twins in this situation either. I want to be a strong father for them, by standing up for myself 

[SpiderBaby]

1 hour ago, Demon-hunter said:

So my wife asked me how was I doing with my Abdl side Wednesday night. Wanting to see if I "relapse" or been i sites like this. Obviously my wife was having a bit of a panic attack and I had to impulsively lied to her to defend myself. Then then next thing you know we are doing Bible study together (which I am fine with). Then we read the first four chapters of proverbs, and then she went on a hole hot take rant about how we need to separate ourself in the world, Christians should be better than what should be now, Christianity should conform to the world and it's lifestyles and so on so forth like celebrate Halloween, sexual impurity, drugs, cussing, bad shows, bad music, bad video games, and alcohol are all bad. you know the whole typical Christian thing to say. 

What can I do, if I challenge her on her beliefs of that (which I do believe and agree in an extent but im not very radical) of that then I probably be rail to the wall with a lecture and how I should question my salvation ( which she has done a few times) 

And then the whole night I felt like I was walking on pins and needles and have an internal anxiety and Immediately went to fawning and staying in line.

Idk what to do. I want to stand up to her not only for my abdl side but for a lot of topics that we disagree with.

And I know what's really driving most of the issue is because of faith and how that's everything's all based on that. Which again I do not mind but I'm not radical I'm way more open minded then that.

I know what I need to do and what to say but my issue is I don't have a voice in me anymore...

And now I'm starting to think about talking to a professional about this but I don't want my wife to know yet, but idk how to do that when she has a Tracker App on my phone and round me all the time

And I don't want to raise my twins in this situation either. I want to be a strong father for them, by standing up for myself 

The fact that she has a tracker app on your phone is very worrisome to me, and is very controlling. That's not good at all. In my opinion even Christians have very different types of morality when it comes to the different TV shows they watch or the type of music they listen to or the type of video games they play or the type of alcohol they consume or the type of drugs they even use. I think that that can always vary from person to person and is not necessarily bad or wrong. I think it mostly has to do with what the individual thinks is right and the type of relationship they have between him and God. It actually says in the Bible that morality can vary from person to person and that it's best to keep it between yourself and God. What might be immoral to a person maybe totally moral to another and so on and so forth, but I believe each person has to figure that out for themselves as well as their own personal relationship with God and Jesus Christ. I also think it's okay to celebrate Halloween. I've never understood why a lot of Christians think that it's wrong or bad morality to do so, just my opinion though.

[Demon-hunter]

On 11/22/2024 at 5:36 PM, SpiderBaby said:

The fact that she has a tracker app on your phone is very worrisome to me, and is very controlling. .

Well, in her defense we both have Life360 app on our phones to keep track of where we are at just in case for emergency issues and safety issues, i.e. if one of us got in a car wreck or something. And she means well with that too she's very worrisome especially in harsh Weathers. But there was one time she quickly accuse me having affair with her because that app went crazy one time when I was at work and I apparently blimped somewhere in town.