How do you incorporate ABDL into your relationship?

[Anonymous12]

Hi there,

  I have not posted in awhile but I think I have made some progress in accepting my ABDL side. I no longer feel as much shame, but now I’m trying to figure out what a healthy relationship would look like with an incorporation of my kink. My little age is 2 and he needs a lot of care. His name is Tommy and he can still talk but he is not potty trained. I feel like this is different from other kinks like feet that are not as involved as being an adult child. I still feel a lot of anxiety about meeting a guy who would be ok with this. I also have cerebral palsy so I kind of need someone else to participate in order to fulfill this fantasy.

  I’m wondering how other ABDL’s give back to their partner so there is more give and take if that makes sense.

 

 Thanks!

[Snugglebear_69]

My Daddy and I just have a relationship like any other, it just so happens to also have little play, bath time, diaper changes and more. There isn't really any secret as every healthy relationship has give and take already built in.

I guess maybe I'm not really understanding the question as every relationship should already have give and take.

[jeremy12312]

My partner accepts that this is an interest, "makes" me wear diapers 24/7 (as in, the occasional toilet usage gets mocked), but that's pretty much it.  No changing, no caregiving, no mommying.

Compared to some folks, I can't complain.  Would I have liked to ended up with someone fully in the scene?  Maybe, but who knows what downsides that would have come with.  We're 15 years into this and still going strong, so I'm not going to spend any time thinking about what could have been, because that might never have happened, either.

[herb330]

Thankfully my wife takes care of me .  She changes me into diapers and gives me a baby bottle and paci.

[Little Sherri]

On 4/2/2024 at 11:59 AM, jeremy12312 said:

Compared to some folks, I can't complain.  Would I have liked to ended up with someone fully in the scene?  Maybe, but who knows what downsides that would have come with.

This is the crux of it for me. Sure, it might have been better life planning to have sought to meet my spouse on an ABDL site or a convention or whatever, but that would have given me access to ~0.5% or less of the population from which to select a partner which, ideally, is going to match with me on more than just my underwear preferences. Would I want to be dating or married to someone who is willing to be mommy on demand, but who is also, say, an idiot, or financially illiterate, or domineering or narcissistic or antisocial or who doesn't enjoy travelling, isn't a great cook, etc etc... no. 

As it happened, I didn't know I was somewhere on the ABDL spectrum when we got married and had kids, anyway - I'd been deeply fascinated with wearing diapers as a kid, but I had parted ways with that side of me (I thought) after being confronted by my stepfather when I was 13, and for 20+ years, I had no engagement with that. I'd never looked it up online - I didn't even realize it was a thing. I thought I was a lone freak who had outgrown his fascination with plastic underpants, which surly was the byproduct of being a prolific bedwetter, something which I had also outgrown. 

So, when "this" came flooding back, I wasn't going to start shopping for another partner, blowing up my life in the process. I ended up risking that, in a real sense, via opening up to my spouse about this aspect of myself, however I got lucky, in that evidently, my pluses outweigh my negatives in the economics of love, so I'm still married, rather than living in a van down by the river. I felt that "this" was coming between us, and I knew that sooner or later, she'd find out, so that was my impetus for taking the chance. 

All of that said, I know I'm asking a lot, for someone who is deeply vanilla to be okay with her husband wearing baby diapers all the time, so I make damned sure that I indulge her preferences and desires whenever I can - there has to be as much giving as there is taking, for any relationship to work.