Officially starting 24/7 and never ever going back!

[emeraldcitybaby]

So my last post was about how I had been wearing for a few months and was gonna have to stop because I was getting a new roommate, but I never came back to updated it. It turns out its not a problem for her, as long as we manage it bc she has an adjacent kink anyway. 

With that said, I've been wearing on and off for most of the year since she moved in. Mostly stopping due to activity levels, money, or shame. Cadence has been something like 2-3 months on 2-4 weeks off. Every time I stop my bladder control is worse off than before. At first it was just urges becoming more frequent or dissociating when walking around and nearly wetting unprotected. Then I started having small accidents in my pants, more than dribble wet spots, like straight up boom I started going bc I wasn't thinking about it. I went through a lot of laundry and decided to go back in them through the holidays. I wet the bed once and had to dry out my futon, which was the breaking point. I wore through December, but then for new year's a part of me decided we were gonna be uber athletic, active, and on top of our physical health, but they went too hard all at once and that bacfired, and ended up siezing our thighs and calves. But we were still in grown up pants during that time and our bladder control was wayyy worse, having to go every 15 or 30 minutes and needing to wear liners to keep us dry. Then forgetting its just a liner and flooding....

Anyway, we got a new job and our FSA just turned over, so we're gonna burn through our entire old FSA on diapers and when we have a cadence figured out put them on auto-ship. The new job is work from home and will pay enough for us to move to an apartment with separate bedrooms and hardwood floors so I don't have to worry about leaking. Also will pay us enough that we never have to worry about running out of diapers again. 

I also found someone local on an abdl personals page and it seems like we get along pretty well so I might have moral support too and a safe space to regress.

Once we start getting paid from the new job I'm gonna cut up and throw away all our old undies and never ever ever look back!!!

 

[Little Sherri]

It's a big step, for sure, but it sounds like you've got a lot of the logistical aspects already figured out because of your occasional deep dives into the world of living 24/7. If you can do it for months at a time, you can do it, full stop. I hope that it provides you with whatever it is you are looking for from it - satisfaction, joy, security, what have you. It certainly has for me. Welcome to the 24/7 club! 

[Hannah YMS]

I think it has everything to do with your goals. If your goal is 24/7 *no matter what* then it serves you handedly to stop purging. The pattern of a few months on and a few weeks off does nothing for you in terms of untraining and going 24/7. Since you're posting in the Incontinence Desires subforum, I can only assume you want to untrain your bladder and/or bowels all the way. If this is the case, stop *not* wearing and just wear your diapers 24/7, no matter the circumstance. You'll get used to it eventually, as most of us have, and just take any flak you get (if you get any flak at all).

For me, personally, I've not experienced any negative feedback by anyone since starting 24/7 over two years ago. Just dooo eeet.

It makes me happy you've finally resolved to getting rid of your underwear and just wearing diapers 24/7, but you have to be honest with yourself. You have to commit. If you don't 100% commit, nothing will change. It takes years to untrain for most people and you have to stick with it.

I hope this response encourages you more than discourages you, as that's my intention. Make the commitment of going 24/7 100% and you'll eventually work out all the kinks.

[emeraldcitybaby]

It's not discouraging! And we have some complications in our bladder and bowel continence anyway with having DID, so it's more like accepting and dealing with reality. Sorry if this is TMI.

Most of our little alters were never potty trained to begin with. We were kept in diapers until middle school, I only stopped wearing them before 8th grade, because no one ever felt like potty training us and I finally "trained" myself--myself as an alter, not all of me. Alters formed after that training were also trained, for the most part.

Bio parents were too messed up all the time, foster parent diapered us when we wet the bed and decided to leave us in them, then shipped us to our aunt's with several boxes of them and our aunt kept us in them until we went to school and when we wet ourself at school shamed us for not being potty trained and put us back in them. We basically stayed in them unless she got sick of dealing with the trash (though from 7 or so I took the trash out and dragged the cans to the road) then she'd take us out of them and we'd mess our pants and she'd put us back in them bc she realized she traded trash for flimsy cloth diapers.

Even when I trained myself, we would still wet or mess the bed to the point that it bothered my partner enough to put towels under me and buy a mattress protector. I either spent 30 minutes on the toilet waiting or I was rushing to the john. I had very little warning sensation for needing to pee, too, I voided at specific times when I expected to need to go. I had a passive obsession with diapers and used to lurk the old site a decade ago, but I wasn't aware of my DID or my system and that the urge was from littles and that I had trauma that made it not shameful to need them. My partner bought some but I was ashamed that she had hit the nail on the head and afraid of giving up control and never getting it back  and we couldn't afford it so I repressed it more. That was 8 years ago, two years later I found out about my DID, and then the littles started wanting them more and more and we purged regularly until 2021. 

After 2021 we started holding regular internal votes on maintaining 24/7 so it's not a purging situation, necessarily, it was mostly about cost, since we had to move in 2021 were supporting our roommate some of the summer 2022 before they got a job and we've been trying to save up money, and if I had been 24/7 I would've been using up my savings budget. I was getting a few cases at a time from Northshore with my FSA when I felt like I could justify it, meaning we got so tired of having wet pants that it just made sense to get back in diapers for a bit. One of our alters, every time we ran out said ok this is it I'm going to be a serious adult and be fit and buy clothes we have to wear without diapers. But that again never panned out because our bladder is shot from going 24/7 for Jan-June Aug-Oct 2021, Jan-June August October December 2022, it shrank and she couldn't go for the length of walks she wanted. we got her a lot of pullups so she can still do her active stuff. 

Otherwise, with the new job, we won't ever have to run out or worry about running out and we work from home so we can plan around the full incontinence.

[Hannah YMS]

On 2/9/2023 at 10:31 AM, emeraldcitybaby said:

It's not discouraging! And we have some complications in our bladder and bowel continence anyway with having DID, so it's more like accepting and dealing with reality. Sorry if this is TMI.

It's not TMI. Please, do explain.

On 2/9/2023 at 10:31 AM, emeraldcitybaby said:

Bio parents were too messed up all the time, foster parent diapered us when we wet the bed and decided to leave us in them, then shipped us to our aunt's with several boxes of them and our aunt kept us in them until we went to school and when we wet ourself at school shamed us for not being potty trained and put us back in them. We basically stayed in them unless she got sick of dealing with the trash (though from 7 or so I took the trash out and dragged the cans to the road) then she'd take us out of them and we'd mess our pants and she'd put us back in them bc she realized she traded trash for flimsy cloth diapers.

Even when I trained myself, we would still wet or mess the bed to the point that it bothered my partner enough to put towels under me and buy a mattress protector. I either spent 30 minutes on the toilet waiting or I was rushing to the john. I had very little warning sensation for needing to pee, too, I voided at specific times when I expected to need to go. I had a passive obsession with diapers and used to lurk the old site a decade ago, but I wasn't aware of my DID or my system and that the urge was from littles and that I had trauma that made it not shameful to need them. My partner bought some but I was ashamed that she had hit the nail on the head and afraid of giving up control and never getting it back  and we couldn't afford it so I repressed it more. That was 8 years ago, two years later I found out about my DID, and then the littles started wanting them more and more and we purged regularly until 2021. 

After 2021 we started holding regular internal votes on maintaining 24/7 so it's not a purging situation, necessarily, it was mostly about cost, since we had to move in 2021 were supporting our roommate some of the summer 2022 before they got a job and we've been trying to save up money, and if I had been 24/7 I would've been using up my savings budget. I was getting a few cases at a time from Northshore with my FSA when I felt like I could justify it, meaning we got so tired of having wet pants that it just made sense to get back in diapers for a bit. One of our alters, every time we ran out said ok this is it I'm going to be a serious adult and be fit and buy clothes we have to wear without diapers. But that again never panned out because our bladder is shot from going 24/7 for Jan-June Aug-Oct 2021, Jan-June August October December 2022, it shrank and she couldn't go for the length of walks she wanted. we got her a lot of pullups so she can still do her active stuff. 

Otherwise, with the new job, we won't ever have to run out or worry about running out and we work from home so we can plan around the full incontinence.

That is a rough start to your life, but ultimately I'm glad you've found resolution in some of the issues. DID is hard on top of that. Keep up the good work and you keep doing you. I think you'll be fine soon enough.