Refractory Period Issues

[JustinDB87]

This post may be long winded and TMI, so I apologize in advance. To give you a quick back story, I’ve been interested in diapers for as long as I can remember. I have memories of being 4 years old and yearning to wear diapers. Throughout my childhood, I would have fantasies of wearing diapers and I loved it when diaper commercials came on tv (but not when adults were present…that made me self conscious lol) Growing up in the 90’s, single-taped plastic backed white diapers were my favorite. 
Ultimately, I grew up as we all do and this interest became sexual for me as a teen. I had a problem with wet dreams back then, which was embarrassing for me as all of my dreams that caused them involved diapers. I grew ashamed of myself as I wasn’t aware of our community even existing. I tried to just stop thinking about diapers, but as we all know, that doesn’t work lol. I eventually gave in and purchased my first adult diapers when I was 20 years old. That was 15 years ago, so time has flown by.

For a long time, I refused to pleasure myself in them because I didn’t want to believe that it was a sexually motivated choice. In my mind, I loved diapers way before I was capable of being sexually active. I’ve learned since that while that may be true, it still turned into a sexual aspect once I hit my early teens. I’ve since given in to pleasuring myself while wearing, but I’ve found that I hit a wall when doing so. After I’m finished, the refractory period hits me HARD. Like, I’ll have an entire day planned out to indulge in wearing, but then the moment I finish, I’m done. All desire to continue wearing is lost and I will sometimes go days to maybe even a week before wearing again. It’s extremely frustrating and something that I wish didn’t exist or would bypass faster. Does anyone have any suggestions to make this refractory period pass faster? Any ideas are completely welcomed on my end.

[Apache Raccoon]

Instead of getting frustrated over the refractory period which to be honest you probably can’t do much about, maybe you should instead plan your time better to suit how your diaper fetish works for you.

Perhaps devoting a whole day to diapers isn’t such a great idea if you know once you’ve blown your beans it’s all over, you might as well devote a smaller amount of time to diapers and have other, none ABDL activities lined up once you’re done.

 

[Little Sherri]

I've been 24/7 for a bit more than 3.5 years now. Like you, I realized I was "funny" about diapers way before any sexual awakening - my first memories of enjoying wearing diapers and wanting to be around them are from when I was 4 and 5 years old. I had a "girlfriend" back then who was my age and still wore diapers, and I was fascinated with her - if she was outside, I was glued to her side. All of which is to say, that was way before puberty. 

Like you, when I became a preteen and a teen, wearing diapers became a sexual thrill for me. I had my diaper train come to a crashing halt when my stepdad found my homemade diaper stash when I was 13, and he yelled at me about it in front of my family. After that, I went 20+ years trying not to think about diapers, mostly successfully, before something triggered my return to them, which, I've since learned, almost always happens. It's part of a lot of the biographies of the people I've met here. 

For me, part of going 24/7 was about "taking diapers back" - I had some trauma and humiliation to work through from my first time around wearing diapers (I was a bedwetter and wore diapers to bed for a good stretch of my childhood). I was putting myself back in diapers in order to reclaim that territory on my terms, to uncouple the feelings of comfort and joy from the feelings of shame and anxiety. But, in the process, I also uncoupled wearing diapers from being, by default, a sexual undertaking, because, let's face it, you can't be turned on all the time; wearing plastic underwear can't always be a thrill, 24 hours a day. Sometimes, it just has to be "normal". Part of that is also the fact that I don't have any other underwear in the house, except diapers, so, even on the rare occasion when I might feel temporarily sick of it, I have to push through, unless I want to go commando or drive over to the Walmart and buy some boxers. It's like a drinker not having booze in the house, or a person on a diet not keeping chips in the cupboard. Sure, anyone can get booze or chips or underwear if they want to, but, the hurdles you'd have to jump over give you time for some sober second thought. I'm sure if I had boxer shorts in the house, I'd have put them on a few times every year at least, but, because I don't, I didn't. I might not have really been jazzed about wearing a diaper to a doctor's appointment, or over to my in-law's, but, all I had were diapers, so that's what I wore. 

It may sound like I'm digressing a bit, but I am working my way back around to a point: maybe what you need is immersion therapy. Just wear diapers for a while when you can't indulge in "that" activity - go grocery shopping and plow the driveway and mail some stuff and walk the dog, or whatever. Let it become normal. And if you do hit that refractory wall at some point (everybody's gotta eat), then, push through that, too. Put on your next diaper like a man, even though you don't want to, and wear it, because not wanting to wear a diaper, but having to, is an authentic diaper experience, just as much as wanting to be in one is. Push through. You may find yourself in a new, platonic relationship with your baby pants - you may become friends, as well as lovers. 

[safeandhappy]

I used to have that refractory period where I would feel ashamed afterwards and not want anything to do with diapers.

After seeing therapists and doing a lot of inner work I can assure you that it is possible to get to a better place. For me it wasn't easy but I'm so glad I put in the time and effort. Now it's not uncommon for me to masturbate two or three times in a row and not feel any shame or guilt. Although I will still feel a little bit randomly here and there, it's much rarer and weaker now.

I recommend the book "You're Not Broken" by Dr. Rhoda Lipscomb and making an appointment with a professional.

I have a question for you: were you raised Christian? I was and I have nothing against Christians but since there are so many things we have in common I wanted to ask, but please don't feel pressured to answer.