Interest in 24/7 - Incontinence

[JazzGirl]

I have been on the Daily Diapers site off and on through the years and while I don't have the time now to tell my whole diaper life story, my desires to be diapered have resurfaced lately, mostly while having very vivid diaper dreams. I am a cis man who is totally a woman in mind and spirit, but not body, unfortunately. Recently, I have had several diaper dreams, either needing to be diapered or wanting it. So, Christmas night I decided to be diapered since the coming week was going to be a mostly home alone situation while on an antibiotic to recover from one of the worst health issues I've ever had in my life. Seemed like COVID despite negative tests. I do, however, have allergy, asthma and sinus issues and a sinus-related birth defect, so there is that, and I do have a sinus infection and they are always a train wreck health-wise for me. 

I figured I'd drink plenty of fluids whilst on the meds and happened to stumble on the 12-month program while surfing this site. Having read a great deal this week about incontinence and 24/7 while diapered myself non-stop through late Thursday afternoon was very educational, satisfying and somewhat of a wild experience. 

I am a big fan of Bambino for look, feel, design and cost compared to some of the better-designed adult diapers. It was research on here, in fact, that led me to use them in the first place many years ago. I should say my diapering education and experiences go back to the days of the dearly departed Tommy who was a beacon for us. All along, I've been on the spectrum of wanting to be diapered all the time while also trying to be feminine as much as possible - although I don't do that 24/7 either. The most frustrating issue is that I can't afford both the feminine and diapered lifestyles together, which makes me sad and want to cry. 

Hypno: I do have a bedwetting/incontinence hypno tape that I purchased from Tommy's website and listened to many years ago, and I do feel that hypno is easy to accept when it is something you want. I've been listening to some free files from WMM lately and that may have contributed to the diaper dreams. The old cassette tapes installed a trigger many years ago with water flowing and so anytime I am diapered, I find it very easy to instantly wet - and that was surely the case this week. 

I made up my mind early this week to try and go non-stop  or an entire week and hope that I could go 3 weeks to see what, if any, changes would occur for me, as noted in 12-month.

Some personal observations this week that I hope some of you will comment on to share your perspective with me. Also feel free to ask questions or seek additional info if needed to help provide a response to my experiences. 

The interesting part of retraining that I've never done before is relaxing the muscles so that you can become incontinent. I practiced that as much as possible and attempted to keep the bladder muscle open for at least five minutes after each wetting. While in the shower, I noticed dribbling that made me wonder if that is why I tend to wet my panties and the front of my jeans when in boy mode after using a yucky urinal. (I also have a shy bladder, so that is one plus for never going into public restrooms again and is a reason I tend to rush on those occasions.  I always notice at the urinal the sensation to pee is gone but no matter how many times I shake, I quite often tend to show visible signs of wetness after putting away my useless clitty. 

One of the best pieces of advice I've picked up here is that I've learned to never force #2 or to even strain at all. This is helpful because I've had a roid for about 40 years that was lanced once but came back a few years later. Another positive is that not sitting on the toilet means no straining of that part of the body because the diaper has you covered. So here are the interesting things I want to share about #2. 

By Tuesday morning, I started doing #2 with my normal morning routine but as noted in 12-month, I also did about 1.5 hours after every meal. The crazy most wonderful and exciting thing about it was that it always came out of nowhere - especially since #2 for two or more times a day for me rarely happens prior to this week. However, these happened instantly, without pushing and without notification. It wasn't huge nor wet, but right around 10:30 on Tuesday I simply went without straining or pushing or having any warning. It just came. This same exact process almost happened a second time on Wednesday evening except there was a little more notification. The most interestingly, maddening and frustrating part was that while I was changing myself, I had ZERO indication that #2 was right around the corner. I had needed to change since I was quite wet having consumed plenty of liquids and having not been changed for about 6 hours. It wasn't more than five minutes after the change, however, that the urge for #2 came completely out of nowhere and I had to go. I could have saved the diaper since there was a few seconds of notification, but I decided to stay true to the process.  This amount was larger than the morning one the day before but I was somewhat shocked and amazed how that happened on consecutive days without any advance warning and more than once per day. The crazy thing is I know this goes against all conventional wisdom and what so many have discussed on here, but those were my experiences. I've also wondered about those who say they only do #1 and always rush to the b-room for #2. It seems to me that both processes are connected and I don't see how you can change one without changing the other. 

I will say that one reason I gave up diapering - although never binged - was because of #2. Always messy, always stinky and always a pain in the ass to change, but I didn't mind it this week at all. The more frequent messing seemed to cut down on volume and all of the water is probably contributing to the increased frequency as well as the better diet AND less smelly messes.  

Then on Wednesday night I had a dream that I was undiapered and did #2 in my pants after becoming greatly upset and crying like a baby. The bad news led to me being upset, then crying and while explaining to someone why I was so upset and felt that I had been treated like shit, I noticed I had messed and then while still crying went to to my car. While still crying and noticing the mess, I suddenly awoke. While I did not mess, I was heavily diapered for the night - although I had zero expectation of bedwetting after reading so many comments here about how that takes longer than daytime retraining of the body but 24/7 is doing 24/7.  I have had wetting dreams in the past, but never actually wet myself, and I believe this was my first #2 dream where I had messed. 

So it is exactly 3 days since I haven't worn a diaper and here are my experiences during that time. I think about diapers constantly. I see the strong mental dependency and security discussed by so many and have to admit that those are two big reasons I like to be diapered.  While I have been en femme nearly all of the past three days, the one time I wasn't I had to go badly because of a full bladder, so I wet myself while driving home because I was close and I wanted to experience that sensation of wetting yourself sans a diaper. But I did notice that I need no practice to pee while seated!

Another observation: when I went to go out to do a few errands over the past few days while en femme, I've noticed that I really need to go prior to leaving home, so I wonder if that is some anxiety knowing that something could happen suddenly like it did 2x this week with the #2s. Today, I did #1 before I went to leave, got delayed by about 20 minutes before leaving and noticed that I had to go again AND felt like I needed to do #2 as well. The pressure at both ends and, ergo, the urge both were powerful sensations and I don't remember having those kinds of experiences prior to this week. 

Finally, while undiapered the last 3 days, I've also had at least at least 3 daily BMs, and that was a rarity prior to this different mindset. Maybe I am more attuned having renewed my interests, maybe some of it is the novelty of it because certainly a regression in frequency should be expected after the first few weeks. 

I also did do a little mix of diapering and femininity that also had me outside the house during this week - just like days of old. But both can't happen, so while I haven't made a final decision, I think a healthy mix of the two - either together or separately - will bring me the most contentment. Finally, I do wonder how much the antibiotic has figured into this. I do get stomach issues on them but that is usually wet messes. None of that has happened this week, fortunately.  

I would like to hear from you about your thoughts concerning these experiences and would especially like to develop some diapered as well as trans friendships with some girls like me. Thank you for reading and for commenting if you feel so inclined!

Hugs and kisses

Jazz  

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Enthusi]

Hi Jazz, please don’t take this personally but I had a hard time following your post.  Clearly you put a lot of time into writing this.  However I’m not even sure what points you are trying to convey.  There are a lot of run-on sentences that include details irrelevant to the paragraph.   You touch on themes ranging from why you want to wear diapers, having diaper dreams,  preferred brand of diapers, hypnosis, gender expression, increased frequency, having accidents, being sick, and ambivalence about going 24/7.  Can you concisely summarize the salient points?  

Again I want to emphasize that my feedback comes from a place of compassion.