Hello! Please don't be judgemental...

[VisaT]

Since to 2012, I have essentially lived as an adult baby. I joined this group to gain the insight of people who may have experiences related to my own and reconcile the blessings, disappointments and confusion in my life.  I seek your understanding and guidance

My wife stepped in and became my caregiver in 2012 when I collapsed emotionally when my mother died unexpectedly. I was overwhelmed with grief, became suicidal and required hospitalization.  It was necessary to petition the court to establish guardianship and take adult responsibility for me.  With the help of therapists she "Reparented" me and her role changed from that of a wife to that of my mother.

We had been married for nearly 5 years and were childless, but powerful maternal instincts that lay dormant within my wife emerged.  She spoke to me softly with gentle words of comfort. She would wrap a blanket around us and  cradle my head to her bosom like a mother would and let me know I was safe and OK. When speaking to me, she'd refer to herself in the 3rd person as Mommy for ex: "Mommy loves you" or "Help Mommy with the Groceries or "Didn't  Mommy tell you not to do that ?" It became natural for me to address her as "Mommy" and I looked to her as a mother figure. 

Everyday, for more than a year, Mommy patiently nurtured me with tender maternal love that slowly eased my grief.  And as it relates to this group, Mommy would give me a bath and sometimes playfully put me into diapers during her reparenting of me. It was sort of fun and being bathed and diapered at bedtime was a comforting bonding experience for Mommy and I that added substance to the the mother/child dynamic that had begun to flourish.

 At the same time, Mommy's love for me had also evolved.  It was no longer the love of a woman for a man. It became the love of amother for her wounded child.

Mommy is a wonderful mother. She's told friends that exchanging the role of a wife for that of a mother was daunting at first, but the actual tasks of mothering me came easily. (albeit exhausting). She describes me as a wonderful child to and that unexpected opportunity to experience motherhood as being richly rewarding.

But Mommy is more than just a great mother, she is a beautiful woman too. Our sex life was never great and any notion of resuming a sexual relationship with me was unthinkable for her. We had not had sex for nearly 2 years and she had become sexually frustrated and felt lonely.  

In 2013, a man came into Momny's life. They became lovers and they fell very much in love. They are a committed couple and have established an emotionally intimate, sexually satisfying adult relationship. Their encounters were clandestine at 1st, but they are good people and sneaking around was beneath them.

When Mommy introduced me to Mr.G- -g (her lover) in 2014. I didn't want to like him and Down deep. I was afraid that Mommy would leave me to start a new life with him.  But they both assured me that would not be the case.  Mommy told me not to worry. She was my mother who loved me and she would never abandon her child. 

So on the nights and weekends when  Mommy invited her man to spend the weekend together, she would give me an early bedtime, and confine me to my bedroom.  I objected to this with tearful childish rants of juvenile jealousy.  But Mommy responded calmly taking time to describe the attributes of masculinity that attract women to men. It was like the Birds and the Bee's talk that parents give to adolescents.

She explained to me that Mr. G--g was a wonderful man who possessed these qualities and that they were very happy together.

Mommy only got upset with me once about it.  But she taught me that a man and a woman who love each other are entitled to privacy to enjoy the intimate pleasure of sexual intercourse at there leisure.  She helped to understand that she felt a mother's  responsibility to shield me from things that might upset me.

That is why she was firm about putting me into diapers. 1)  They did not want me to wander to the hallway toilet and disturb their lovemaking. 2) Mommy wanted spare me the shame of overhearing the mattress thumping and the ecstasy of her being taken to orgasm in the arms of her lover as she is being laid and satisfied in the master bed.  She would come to my room and change my wet diapers when they were finished, or in th morning as the case may be

-I struggled to accept their relationship, But Mr. G- -g truly is a good man and he makes Mommy very happy. He has been a role model and mentor to me and he is entitled to the same obedient respect that I show Mommy. 

Mr. G- -g is financially successful and in 2016, he built a large home in country where we live as family. The master bedroom suite rhat he Mommy share is at one end of the house. My room is on the other side of the house so I don't need to wear diapers anymore when Momny and Mr. G- -g want to enjoy sexual intercourse.

Mommy will put me into diapers if she senses feelings of insecurity which is rare. But I will ask her to bathe and diaper me when Mr. G--g is not around every few weeks or so.  Mommy is a beautiful woman with bright green eyes, a dazzling smile, a nice figure and dark wavy hair.  It is a special intimate experience that Mommy and I can share.  When she undresses me, I am naked and vulnerable. The one thing that protects me is our mutual trust and the powerful love that evolved between us. 

I have been celebate for more than 10 years.  Mommy dries me after my bath, and has me lay on the towel on my bed. She takes her time to massage baby oil or lotion onto my private areas in a non sexual way. But the gentle touch of Mommy's finger tips is a sensual reminder of the man that I was and the child that I have become.

Mommy and Mr. G--g wish to Marry. He is single and says his business career had been his wife until he met Mommy. He is quite wealthy and has been emotionally supportive of Mommy and I has financial wherewithal to cover some of my uninsured medical expenses.

Most women would have divorced me to be with the man she loves and most would men have walked away. But they were both concerned and decided to wait until I was emotionally stable. I am lucky...

I am still emotionally fragile but I have been stable for quite awhile. 

Mr. G- -g and Mommy met with legal counsel to  devise a workable family  solution and estate planning that protected his substantial financial assets. Adult adoption is legal in my state and Mr. G- -g offered to adopt me. I agreed, and Mommy executed spousal consent and on August 23 of this year the court granted the adoption.

The language of the adoption decree declares Mr. G- -g to be is my legal "Father" and that I am his "child and heir".  He excercised his parental prerogative and change my surname to his. I am grateful to Mr.G- -g for all he has done and I am proud have been given his name.

The adoption gave Mommy the comfort she needed to proceed with a divorce.  We've agreed to the terms and I witbout objection, the fast track divorce will be final on December 30.  

 

 

 

[AbabeBill]

Hi VistT, and welcome to DD. Please come in and make yourself at home. Nice to be meeting you. I think you may be living, some people’s dream. I’m sorry about your loosing you biological mom. Never an easy thing to deal with. I’m glad you had your wife, who stepped in, and helped you, and really changed her whole life to do that. If this is a lifestyle the 3 of you can live, and be happy with, then that is what you should continue to do. 
Meanwhile, you can always come here to DD, and I hope you can feel safe. I hope to be seeing you around. Relax, have fun, and enjoy!

[~Brian~]

@VisaT

First of all I wanted to tell you that I Do not judge You and would not judge You at all. each person has a unique relationship, and each relationship has unique dynamics that are unique to each particular relationship. as you have read in other posts, there are other people here that have relationships and they set the rules and boundaries and all the things that make their relationship special. your relationship, While different in the eyes of others, is not something that is totally out of the ordinary. I have learned that there are differing types of relationships in each of them is different, and the only thing that makes them Strange is when people think they are, and then they start judging you because you make a decision that they don't understand.

My second thing is: the best thing is that whatever relationship dynamic you decide to continue to deal with, the most important thing is that you are safe, happy, and that you are able to deal with all of your particular issues. when you end up having a situation where you have a breakdown, and you have a nice lady like your wife, and your wife is willing Be your Mommy, and take care of you, and see you as a child, and help you by bringing you all the way down to a certain level, and then letting you grow up, seeing you that way, that can be helpful in many ways because you are rebuilding Building blocks that you might have lost due to having a nervous breakdown or whatever happened. because your wife agreed to be your Mommy, she loves you in a unique way, and your adopted father, he loves you in another way, and he knows that you need to support, and that living together for you would be in your best interest because all of your needs are taken care of and you are able to deal with all of your idiocries and issues. your Mommy will always be with you, and be there for you, the only thing that is changing is that the type of relationship you are dealing with is now not a legal marriage, but of legal divorce followed by a legal adoption. I wish you the best of luck, and I wish that you have the best possible Relationship you can. when you have someone that loves you so much, that is willing to do exactly what she has been doing, and then you have a man that comes into your relationship and you're able to work that dynamic and the man loves you and your Mommy, and is willing to work with all three of you in the same building, that is unique. i'm not going to judge that at all, because there are some things that you just don't question. love is a powerful emotion, and so are the rest of your emotions in your body. sometimes you end up missing somebody and sometimes you're scared or you're worried or you're nervous or whatever. emotions are very powerful, and they can make you do some really strange things or make you feel really weird. sometimes they make you feel real happy, sometimes sad, sometimes you end up worrying, but to me it sounds like your Mommy is the best thing for you, and this situation works well or will work well.

I am proud of you because you are willing to take the dive and be able to determine what is in your best interest. as long as all three of you set up the rules, and be True to them, everything should be OK. your darn lucky that when you had your breakdown, that you had such a wonderful wife to be able to take you by the hand and be able to help you through the most important, and sometimes the most hardest part of your life. losing someone you love is the hardest thing, I don't care if you're five years old or you're 55: you still love your mom or your dad or your significant other or whatever it is, and it still hurts regardless of how long it's been. the only thing that makes it better is that you're able to deal with that particular dynamic and be able to put In perspective. You seem to be able to have found the proper place in ship that will work for all three. As long as your Mommy takes care of you and your daddy takes care of you, you all can live in a particular living situation and everything should be OK.

As I said no one here is going to judge You as far as I can tell: the thing is everybody needs to be happy regardless of what that is: happiness is one thing that everybody needs to have, because if you're not happy that can put you in a medical condition or medical situation where Your emotions can go wild, and you can get out of sorts. emotions are wild and crazy things. one day you can be really happy and be like tra La la la la la and then all the sudden the next day you feel like you're about ready to fall off a cliff Be careful because every time your emotions are up and down sometimes you have the good days sometimes you have the bad days, but your Mommy and your daddy will always be there for you.

I wish you luck and I wish you all the best: I know that this is a hard decision sometimes, but if you think it is the best for all of you, I wish you the best and I hope everything works out! don't worry about what anybody else thinks or says: if this relationship dynamic works for you, no one is going to say anything and if they do, well they might not understand it and they might ask questions, which is normal period I don't claim to know everything about relationship dynamics or the way they work, and I've seen interesting relationship setups. this is not to say that I have not learned a lot of things while I've been here for three years on daily diapers, because I have: there are a lot of good people here and they've taught me so much, and they've taught me to be respectful and to be open minded, so I wish you all the best.

Brian

[VisaT]

Thank you for your insightful understanding.

Mommy and Mr. G- -g have discussed  marriage in mid February 2023.  Mommy remains  my legal guardian so for her to formally adopt me would no have a material impact on our day to day lives. But  she has devoted so much of her energy caring for me and she is entitled so much than to the legal constuct of guardianship. Arguably, a woman who accepts the responsibility of motherhood is the highest expression of a woman's femininity. I affectionately address her as Mommy out of deferential respect. My love for her is special. She is much more than my guardian. She is my mother and I adore her.

I am grateful to Mr. G- -g for adopting me, naming me as his son.  Mommy and Daddy truly have saved my life. Their relationship has withstood the awkward circumstance her marriage to me in name only. They are a loving couple who deserve the dignity being Husband and Wife.  Their Wedding Day in mid February will be bittersweet for me but it will be joyous triumph for them.

Mommy is eager to initiate the legal process to adopt me as soon as is practical. It will mark a new beginning for all of us. For years, I have affectionately addressed her as Mommy in deferential respect for the maternal love she  bestows on me.

Once granted,the certicate of adoption with specify that her as my Mother and specify me as her "Child and Heir", state that "henceforth our relationship shall be that of mother and child".  She richly deserves the honor and title of Mother.   I am now, and will be, so proud to be her son.

We will be a a family.