Public Change Peril (or ABAB: All Bags Are Bad)

[jimpa]

So I’ve been getting back into diapers lately, and I decided to wear one out and about. I stopped into a CVS to take it off once it got wet (no change, just back to underwear), but bought some wipes before I went to the restroom to do it. Once I checked out, I asked where to bathroom was, and the person there said “it’s back there, but you have to leave your bag at the counter”. Now, luckily I was in a situation where I could do that; but what if I had a whole kit with me with a full change inside? Is there any place with a single occupancy restroom I could go that won’t immediately suspect me of shoplifting if I walk in with a bag?

[Glennie]

just own you incontinence.. I am 24/7 for urinary incontinence. so if I ever get the side eye, I just tell them I have a handicap and will need the bag to use the bathroom.. Yes  they will immediately look at your crotch, but you aren't the only person to wear diaper.. hell their store has an entire isle of them. Stop being a frightened mouse and just own your incontinence. Your world gets a lot easier once you just say screw it and stop thinking that everyone  in the world will immediately make the jump from.. "omg he is wearing a diaper and needs to wear them". to "omg that must be one of those adult baby freaks".  Before I get jumped on, I am using the term "adult baby freaks" to push the envelop. I don't consider any of us to be freaks.  Lots and lots of people wear diapers, its a major industry. TO THYSELF BE TRUE!!! 

[~Brian~]

4 hours ago, jimpa said:

So I’ve been getting back into diapers lately, and I decided to wear one out and about. I stopped into a CVS to take it off once it got wet (no change, just back to underwear), but bought some wipes before I went to the restroom to do it. Once I checked out, I asked where to bathroom was, and the person there said “it’s back there, but you have to leave your bag at the counter”. Now, luckily I was in a situation where I could do that; but what if I had a whole kit with me with a full change inside? Is there any place with a single occupancy restroom I could go that won’t immediately suspect me of shoplifting if I walk in with a bag?

@jimpa

Good morning sir:

it is normal for stores to be curious as to why you would be carrying a bag with you. The reason they do this is because I guess they have been screwed way too many times because there are people who have big bags, and they might be able to hide something in there and be able to get away with it. In your case, I’m sure that that is not the case, and if you are diaper dependent, you use the bag to be able to carry your supplies. When you have A situation like this, I’m sure that it is kind of embarrassing, because you don’t want someone to “Find out about it“, but eventually, you will find that you will have to deal with a situation where you will have to carry the bag or a part of it into a restroom. People that are incontinent cannot help when, where, or what they will release, and I’m sure there will be times when you will not be in a position that you can just walk into a bathroom and take care of it without having your bag on board. I’m sure there are individuals who carry a bag with them either on a mobility device, like I do on a wheelchair, or a bag that someone sticks in their car, or in their trunk, or in their truck, or whatever they’re driving. People that are incontinent usually carry supplies with them so if they need to do a full change, they can deal with that wherever they are.

I have been incontinent on and off most of my life: from a young age, I would end up having accidents and dealing with that, but I really didn’t start having problems until I was approximately 46: at that time, I started having accidents, and then I would have to deal with the fact that my body just was deciding to do whatever it wanted to, whenever it wanted to wherever it wanted to. It got so bad, that I couldn’t even keep myself clean, and then I would just release anywhere. Because I have cerebral palsy, that is a neurological disorder, and it is common for people with this disorder to have some conditions that underlie the main condition, and it is quite normal for us people that are disabled to be wearing diapers. In 2017, I made the decision that I was going to ask the doctor about the process to get diapers when necessary, and at that time I got him to give me the prescription for the under pads that go On my wheelchair seat: this is because when you sit all the time, sometimes you sweat, and I was getting comments that what I was sitting on was starting to be “ripe”  because of this, I took this to hurt, and asked the doctor at that time for the underpass. In 2019, I asked the doctor for disposable diapers, and I was able to get him to authorize booster pads, and I already had spoken to my case manager regarding anything else that I need to take care of the situation.

“by taking care of a situation“ means That you decide that you are going to go “all the way”. I had been suffering from IBS diverticulitis and incontinence and based on The number of times I had to clean myself up, along with the mess that it was causing, it became apparent to me that the best way to take care of it, which to “take the dive, all the way down to the bottom“: this means I asked for the diapers, wipes, the disposal bags, disposal liners, the disposal can, The underpads, and the boosters. I also was able to get several pair of Garywear incontinence pants, and some washable pads.  I also have the medical diagnosis to back up exactly what I need, so whatever happened I will have diapers and whatever I need, because I’ve proven what I need.

in my case, I did this because I wanted to make sure that I was able to take care of this situation to the best of my knowledge, and be able to take care of it myself. Now that I have my supplies, and I know that I won’t have to worry about that, it does not phase me, and I use the diapers for everything, and that is the most important thing: after dealing with so much ridiculousness, and sleepless nights, and all of the stress in my life, diapers were the best thing to be able to help me deal with incontinence, my feelings, and all of the things that I worried about basically evaporated: diapers are not the end of the world, and they do help me in many ways.

 

30 minutes ago, Glennie said:

just own you incontinence.. I am 24/7 for urinary incontinence. so if I ever get the side eye, I just tell them I have a handicap and will need the bag to use the bathroom.. Yes  they will immediately look at your crotch, but you aren't the only person to wear diaper.. hell their store has an entire isle of them. Stop being a frightened mouse and just own your incontinence. Your world gets a lot easier once you just say screw it and stop thinking that everyone  in the world will immediately make the jump from.. "omg he is wearing a diaper and needs to wear them". to "omg that must be one of those adult baby freaks".  Before I get jumped on, I am using the term "adult baby freaks" to push the envelop. I don't consider any of us to be freaks.  Lots and lots of people wear diapers, its a major industry. TO THYSELF BE TRUE!!! 

Yep, Yep, Yep:  @Glennie is exactly right: the first thing that you have to do is be able to go through a stage where you’re not quite sure what’s going on, or where you may not be ready to accept it, or on it, because maybe you don’t understand it, or you’re questioning yourself as you commence on your journey. Each one of us here on DD has a journey that we began: during this journey, we go through exactly what Glennie is talking about: we end up having to come to a realization that eventually we will have to “own it”. You may not understand what’s going on right away, but eventually you will, and then you’ll be able to at least on it, accepting it may be something that you do overtime, but eventually you will come to the realization that acceptance is the best thing. Once you come to the “acceptance phase“ then it will be a lot easier, because it will be common for you, and diapers will be a part of your life for a long time,  There are a lot of us that wear diapers for whatever reason, and Glennie knows exactly what he is talking about: just because people wear diapers, or choose to wear diapers, this does not make them any different than someone else, other than the fact that they have decided to use a different “underwear“. A special kind of underwear, and that’s all it is.

It has been my experience that most individuals who work in stores, or work with the disabled, would understand if you are dealing with incontinence in any way shape or form. I don’t think that they would be laughing at you, or making fun of you, because then they would look like fools, and that would not be a good idea. Some people may not understand why we wear diapers, but the fact is that we wear them, and most people would understand that it is a fact of life. There are going to be people all over the world that were diapers for whatever reason, and most individuals are accepting that fact and understand that they are going to be a situation where you’re going to have to use it, and then go and change it. If you use Glennie’s Reasoning, I believe this is the best: no one is going to make fun of you, because you have decided to use diapers, because if they did, they would look like fools, and as he said, there are a lot of people who deal with incontinence on a daily basis, and the best thing to do is to “Own it”. 
 

Glennie is right: all you would have to say is if you have to say anything at all, is that you are incontinent, and need to be able to change, or let them know that you need to have your bag with you because of you being disabled. I don’t think anybody would question that, and if they look at you, that is part of what happens, but I have never had a situation where somebody gave me any grief, because I’m already in a wheelchair, and I have my go bag on the back of my chair, so wherever I go in my chair my bag goes with me.  Don’t be afraid: there are many of us that wear diapers, and there are times when we have to use those bags, because we have all of our supplies in them. Some people only have a few diapers, or a few wipes, or whatever they carry, but they carry with them if they need it.  I have yet to have anybody question me, and I have had to change myself at my office, and this has happened on a few occasions, so this is why I am fully prepared to deal with almost anything that comes out.

I also don’t consider us to be “freaks“, we are individuals who have interesting stories, and interesting journeys, and each of us started down the same road in the middle, and as we move forward diverges, some of us take the long way around, some of us hit bumps in the road, sometimes the road has pieces that are missing, or sometimes the road is smooth, but each of us starts on the road, and ends up going around and around, And at the end, we end up right here at DD – there are a lot of people that I learned from here, and Glennie is one of them: we are very interesting individuals, and each of us has a story to tell, and each of us can give you advice as well: when I was dealing with my “acceptance“ issues, I was the one who was questioning myself, and I was wondering why I felt like this or why this would happen to me, but at the end of the day, I have made a decision that I am incontinent, and I have had so many times when it will just happen, and each time something like this happens, it makes me think that I made the right decision.

once someone owns it, they can then decide how they’re going to deal with it, and once they own it, after a while they will accept it, and it will be common place for you. I’m sure there are also many of us who now would be comfortable walking around “more comfortable“ because we now find wearing a diaper appropriate, or wearing a onesie appropriate, or doing something that is appropriate to make ourselves feel more comfortable. Each one of us here can tell you stories about how we were able to deal with incontinence or whatever we deal with. But as Glennie says, Don’t be scared – it’s OK to be scared, but eventually once you have made your decision, you will find that it will become easier: when I decided to go to 24 seven because of my situation, it was the best decision that I have made in my life, and Glennie is one of the individuals who helped me understand what I was going through, and there were a lot of other people that help “own  it and accept it”

take it from both of us: wearing diapers is not that bad, and if you are incontinent, or you wear diapers for whatever reason, you can simply use the idea that “you have a disability“ and your bag is needed in the restroom. It’s really none of their business to go any further than that, but there are people who go into bathrooms all the time in the public, and make changes.

Good Luck!
 

?

Brian

[willnotwill]

I have carried diaper bags of various types into malls and the like and have never had an issue.

 

[~Brian~]

30 minutes ago, willnotwill said:

I have carried diaper bags of various types into malls and the like and have never had an issue.

 

@willnotwill

agreed: most people that carry “bags“ into the bathroom do not carry bags  that “look like“ diaper bags. These bags are usually backpacks or rucksacks or something else that they used to be able to carry their supplies. Even if you have to carry a bag into the bathroom, I’m sure that people understand, because there are sometimes when it is necessary. Even if someone were to carry a bag that is a “juvenile in nature“ I am sure that someone is not going to question it, because there are A lot of people out there that like colorful bags, or like particular cartoon characters. The idea is, that regardless of what you’re carrying, most people would agree that as long as you’re not caring something that “screams“ your status, you should have no problem, and even if you had a bag that did just that, it shouldn’t be a big deal. Carry whatever you need, use whatever you need, and whoever thinks that there was a problem, don’t worry about it, because you know what you need – simply tell them in confidence why you would need your bag if it becomes necessary, but don’t do it if it’s not necessary.

Good Luck!
 

Brian

Edited April 17, 2022 by ~Brian~
Word edit

[willnotwill]

My usual diaper bag is a Fisher-Price backpack that you have to look very carefully at to think it was a diaper bag.