I told my mother I was AB/DL, mistake?

[mickey555]

Yeah I managed to convince myself to tell my mother I was ABDL, in other words I told her I am a big baby who likes to wear and use diapers. I told her my story. We discussed it a bit a few days ago.. but I've just had the biggest panic attack of my life. I think I made a huge mistake and am planning on leaving tomorrow while she is at work. I'm not sure what to do otherwise. This sort of thing is about as far off as you could possibly be from who I am, at least what she knew beforehand.. I'm still here at parents house for Christmas and am a bit snowed in I was planning to leave next week normally. I don't know if I can project "Everything is OK" until then. 

[Little Sherri]

Hi, @mickey555; that is a giant step in a direction, it just sounds like maybe that's not the direction you want to go in, and you're having "buyer's remorse" about telling her. But the cat is out of the bag now, and you can't un-ring that bell - choose your analogy. It probably feels pretty difficult to live with that decision right now, because it is so new to you, and new to her, and you are having a hard time being yourself when you're constantly wondering about if she's judging you, or disappointed, or weirded out about this development. 

I know nothing about you, or your mom, or your relationship, but, my first thought is that you're going to have to engage with her again at some point. Most likely your ABDL side is not worth writing off your mom over, but, perhaps equally, you feel that you shouldn't need to write off your ABDL side, for your mom, either, and that is a valid sentiment, assuming that's what compelled you to "come out" in the first place. You having an ABDL side is something that is unconventional, and knowledge of that can be embarrassing (believe me, I know), but, in my opinion, there is nothing to be ashamed of here, and I think that somewhere deep down inside you, you know that. This interest isn't hurting anybody. You like to wear unconventional underwear, and you are far from the only one. 

Your mom in all likelihood has a great deal invested in her relationship with you; she knew you before you knew anything. This may be more information than she wanted to know, and she has to process that, but it's not like you told her that you've been defrauding the elderly to fund your gambling addiction, and now she has to come to terms with the fact that her son is a criminal. I think that she'll adapt, and, you will eventually feel more comfortable knowing that there isn't a giant secret separating you, and you can be yourself. 

If I have any advice, it would be not to impose "this" on her, if she's showing signs that she's not comfortable with it; don't start walking around in diapers openly, for example. Be discrete about it and show her the respect that you hope she'll show you, just as, if you were, say, of a different sexual orientation than whatever you are, you would probably want her to know that, but, you wouldn't then watch porn openly (presumably). You can have a diaper on, and you can relax, not having to worry obsessively about if she'll notices the bulk, or hears a crinkle, while at the same time respecting her boundaries. 

I'd suggest that if you're becoming really uncomfortable, leave gracefully, rather than disappearing under cover of darkness, which basically takes a highlighter to the fact that "something's wrong", when in fact, nothing is "wrong", something is just different. Things that happen around the Holidays take on a greater emotional significance for a lot of people, and they have staying power, when it comes to people's memories, so maybe don't make this the Christmas where you revealed yourself, and then vanished, essentially choosing "this" over the relationship. Instead, come up with a reasonable explanation for why your visit needs to be curtailed, and thank her, and leave in daylight, and then give her some time to process, and if she comes back to you with questions, be open to them, and if not, well, that's a valid approach as well. Leave the door unlocked and the light on, and hopefully you will discover that there is a lot of substance to your relationship, and that the weight of this new information can't break it. 

[Andy-bozu]

Not telling my mom is something I kind of regret in retrospect, she passed in 2018. though I doubt one of the thing she would've wanted to hear before going into hospice was "Hey mom I like wearing big baby diapers and messing myself. I really have been your baby boy."

[Little Cub Pants]

2 hours ago, Andy-bozu said:

Not telling my mom is something I kind of regret in retrospect, she passed in 2018. though I doubt one of the thing she would've wanted to hear before going into hospice was "Hey mom I like wearing big baby diapers and messing myself. I really have been your baby boy."

Losing a loved one is always rough buddy.? But I bet she's up there waiting for you, and can't wait to give her baby boy a nice big hug!?????❤️?? LOL!