A Word of Advice on Dating

[NewGuy20]

Over the years, I've read a lot of personal accounts on these boards about dating and relationships. Having an unusual kink can certainly complicate a relationship, especially if your partner is vanilla. Perhaps there is no one piece of advice that will be applicable to every relationship but I'd like to think my advice below applies the the vast majority of romantic relationships. I think this advice will be especially important for young people who have less experience with dating. Dr. Seuss once wrote, "Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple." 

1. If you are in a romantic relationship, be honest and tell your partner about your ABDL fetish. Coming 'out of the closet' to your partner will usually not be easy and its probably not an ideal conversation on the first or second date. But if things are getting serious and you plan on having a long term, romantic relationship; TELL YOUR PARTNER.

2. Do not stay in a relationship with a romantic partner that does not accept you for who you are. Some people will not want to participate in your ABDL lifestyle. Thats understandable. Some people will be disgusted by diapers, urine, or feces. That too is absolutely understandable. But if your partner cannot accept that you have an ABDL fetish - and that the fetish is not going to disappear - then END THE RELATIONSHIP.

-

I know it will be difficult for some people to make these decisions but your life will be better in the long run. I'm really shocked that there are people who would WANT to be in a sexual, emotionally intimate relationship while simultaneously keeping a huge secret from their partner. It will be extremely unpleasant and confusing if your partner/spouse randomly discovers that you've been keeping a huge secret from them for months or years. Finding adult baby paraphernalia hidden in a closet or an attic will likely be much worse for your loved one than simply having an honest conversation.  

George Washington famously said, "It is better to be alone than in bad company." I cannot begin to fathom why anyone would want to be in a committed relationship with someone who believed that their very sexual identity was disgusting or offensive. People need to have some self-esteem. Like I said earlier, it is understandable if a person does not want to participate in this particular fetish. Everyone has their own sexual boundaries and their own comfort zone. But your romantic partner needs to accept that this is a part of you and its not something you can simply 'quit' or erase from your mind. 

Its the year 2021. The world is full of open minded, vanilla people who will accept your ABDL fetish. Not only that but there are some vanilla people out there who will actually PARTICIPATE in your fetish with you! Do you want someone to change your diaper? There's a non-judgmental vanilla person out there that will do that for the person they love! I have met several of in my life: open minded, attractive women happy to snuggle with me while I'm wearing a diaper! You don't have to trap yourself in a relationship built on lies and deception. And you don't have to trap yourself in a relationship with someone who cannot accept you and finds you revolting. 

[M9t]

Totally agree. I have a long story with the ups and downs of abdl life within relationships. I don't feel like typing all that out, but in short, keeping my abdl secret only led to problems in my relationships, one of those being an ex-wife who hated my abdl. Since that marriage ended 13 years ago, I did some work in therapy that helped me accept my abdl and since, and I'm not suggesting anyone do this, it's just my experience, but since I know I cannot be in a relationship where my partner doesn't participate in my abdl with me and since it can be an instant deal breaker, I believe it's only fair to tell someone I'm dating that I'm abdl very early on, I've done it as early as the second date, just so I don't waste mine or their time with continuous dating. I've had 3 out of like 10 girls I've tried dating since my divorce where my abdl has been accepted and participated in and those 3 turned out to be pretty exciting relationships that ended for other reasons. I believe the most important part in all this is just the honesty aspect of it. Just put it out there on the table cause secrets only cause distrust and relationships are dead if there is no trust whether someone is abdl or not. 
 

Also, I would say that you have to be cautious with who you disclose your abdl to cause a couple of women I've tried dating who were put off by it did out me to some of their friends but you know what? In my experience, you have to take risks or else you will always be alone or stuck in relationships keeping your abdl secret.

[feralfreak]

my word of advice on dating: dont. if i had to pick between a date or a good bowl of beans im grabbing a can opener.

[skizics]

For some of us the "Fetish" part of diapers and diapering came much later while we were learning how to deal with our Incontinence. It may be that the 'Point of View' we have comes from the Necessity of wearing a diaper rather than a personal need or desire.

Dating and diapers never worked out for me in the long run but the things that are a MUST in Any relationship is Trust, Honesty, and Giving More than you ever expect to get in return... everything else takes care of itself.

[ppdude]

5 hours ago, saltedcaramel64 said:

Lo

Lots of people feel this way now.  Western society has gotten to the point where a lot of young men and women no longer like one another.  Birthrates are abysmal in Canada, we rely on immigration to fill our numbers. Thankfully most immigrants come in with traditional values and enjoy creating families, thus keeping the ball moving.

I think I've heard the same about birthrates in the USA. It seems like the entirety of Central and south America are showing up here. If there's any void, they're filling it up. Not happy about it either.