In the process of accepting diapers 24/7

[munkey]

I’d like to start off by thanking everyone who has shared in the past and is sharing about their journey with incontinence or wearing 24/7.  It has really helped me over the last few weeks. A bit of back story, I’m 41, very active, into a mountain lifestyle, and have always had minor bowel issues all my life. So minor that underwear has sufficed to deal with anything that may have happened, later in life I found out I have IBS.  That is not the reason I wear diapers, its mostly always been for fun, although, after the last few years it certainly has been more comfortable.  After all it is a diaper, its designed for contain waste.  

However, as my need for protection is changing for various reasons, I’m realizing that as much as I use to be recreational and wear when I wanted, I need to wear to protect various things, wetting pants, pooping, fill in some embarrassing story that is resolved with wearing diapers. ... I was smoking the other day, had to poop, was holding, started coughing... lets say with each cough my diapers was a tiny less clean than before.  I didn’t have a full on accident, but I was not trying to go and my body was like “oh yeah, Hey remember that one time you had to poop and you thought you could hold it and you pooped your pants on the way to the bathroom, do you think this is that time again?”  Now while to some this probably sounds like a thrill, but as I’m writing this and thinking about that moment at different times in my life, while only a few, its not fun running off from everyone cause you’re no better than a 3 year old. While the need is increasing to cover my butt, I’ve recently have been made aware by a lifelong friend that knows that I wear mostly for fun, now she says I need them more than I admit (which is part of the reason for this post).  I’m struggling to accept my condition, on one hand I’ve had a desire to wear since I can recall, maybe 3 or4, on the other I’ve had poopy underwear more times than I can recall (not full explosions, but more then skid marks), so logically... I should wear my diaper -sighs- I have mixed thoughts about this as I’ve notice over the past 4 years my urge to pee sky rocket.   Up until this year I would usually try to hold it, as I live in a small town and bathrooms are with in 20 minutes, with COVID... that has changed, I haven’t used a public bathroom in a while, since I’m diapered usually, I just go, or try to hold it on the walk home, granted, I’ve pee’d in an alley during the day on a 20 minute walk more then I want to admit.  

Lately I’m seeing my continence becoming more more difficult to control and the need for diapers increasing.   I have yet to see a doctor over my weeing problem, but I have realized over the last couple of days I need to go.  Currently I’m aware of the signal to pee, I can hold through the first urge to go, the second time it is like someone is trying to squeeze it out of me and -sighs- I’m dribbling beyond my control and will soon stop it, the amount seems to be relegated by urge to pee. After about 5-10 minutes the 3rd urge is making me pee around a 1/4 cup (if I really need to go) or I’m certainly creating a wet spot.   I never noticed this until I started practicing over the last couple of days at home.  Every time I’ve experienced the same thing, the longer I hold, the more the urge increases until the damn is over ran and the flood happens. Regardless of reasons, which I’ll be having checked out, I still do not trust my body to be in all adult clothing with out any protection and part of me wants to stomp my feet and cry, I want to wear big boy pants...  but I knew one day this might happen.  So now I have to accept my current situation and wear all the time or run the risk of soiled clothing, which EVERYONE!!! Pointed out is far worse then a dirty diaper.

However, I’m truly struggling with need of protection AND WANTING diapers too.   Like part of my brain is saying, “wait no, no, no, before it was all fun and games, you’re a big boy, you got this.”  My body is like “sorry what? I was releasing some urine that I have to get rid off.”  My spirit is like “hey, why do you think you were a diaper lover, wouldn’t it make all this easier?  Don’t you have prior knowledge of brands of diapers?  Do you really want to poo-poo in you pants getting groceries?”  It’s like my brain is not accepting the current situation of my issue, even though, part of it is like, YES YES YES YES YES!  I’m still struggling to accept this all, to look in the mirror and be like “you’re captain awesome! So what if you have a diaper on, thats part of you’re captain outfit!”  Currently its a mix bag, but the internal narrative is a lot more negative when I’m standing there in a smelly dirty diaper looking in the mirror trying to be like “better in there than in your pants”.

I just keep reminding myself incontinence is the inability to hold and diapers have the ability to hold.... like... some how this is suppose to make me feel better.  I have to face facts regardless of my AB/DL mixture with all this, if I don’t do something, something far more embarrassing will happen.

I read somewhere else on these forums, something like, I didn’t choose this, it choose me. I did not choose to have poopy underwear at any point in my life. I did not actively choose to be wired to think diapers should be normal life...

However... here I am...

On a website for people who need / like to wear diapers.  I’m writing about my own incontinence issues and wearing diapers to solve the problem.

Everyone says acceptance makes it so much easier, I agree, I understand this concept, but the stages to get there are a struggle, specially when you need to pull over every so often to change your diaper. Which is why I’m writing this, to help accept my need for diapers.

Thanks for letting me express this, thanks for reading, have a great day.

[Wet Tony]

I dated someone years ago who was a DL, and have dated others who were into pants wetting or some other kind of pee-related fetish. It was fun while it lasted but I can’t say I would ever think of myself in DL terms. Then I started having prostate issues. I ignored the symptoms long enough to develop a powerfully overactive bladder, and now the prostate is being managed (no cancer…yay!) but I am unable to hold back the tide when my bladder reaches capacity. I rather swiftly went from using pads or pull ups and sprinting to a restroom countless times a day with diminishing success, to just wearing diapers and accepting that it’s better to wear a “urinal” than wet my pants in public. At the same time my day time control went bye bye I started wetting in my sleep. Almost two years later I have moments…when I’m rushed for time or neglected to change when I had the opportunity and start leaking…that I hate being inconvenienced, plus sometimes diapers are just uncomfortable. And then I have plenty of moments when not needing to stop what I’m doing, or feeling that “gotta go” pressure while stuck in traffic is incredibly liberating. Increasingly I think I am beginning to truly enjoy wearing diapers and going-with-the-flow. 

[Rob110]

Ive been in diapers 24/7 for over 6.65 years now and I long ago accepted my need for diapers. and I have lost any remaining control I had but I have no regrets accepting my need and skipping the meds and kegal exercises in an attempt to prevent the inevitable.   Just remind your self you are not alone in needing diapers and once you find a diaper you can trust and you stop worrying about being back in diapers and you get use to not rushing to the bathroom hoping you will make it diapered life gets easier.

 All my Family and Friends know I need to wear 24/7 so that helps a lot in removing the stress trying to hide the fact I need to wear also being open and honest with your DR helps and herting checked out by an urologist to make sure your Ic issue is not life threatening also releaves a lot of stress.

Hope you can come to terms with your need to wear 24/7s

[darkravendl]

I've been having to wear for 24/7 due to urinary incontinence, I also suffer from occasional bowel issues(mainly when I eat too much cheese or spicy foods).  It gets easier as time goes on and you realize that it's better to have protection and not embarrass yourself around co workers and other colleagues. Plus we live in time where the protection is far better than what used to be available. 

[TheBabyPants]

Thanks to Munkey for starting this thread. and I hope this helps some people.

I have written about this some in the past and after some research from some other sites into what other say such as Little Landing and here goes my version of how to wear diapers and make the best of it.

About 25 years ago my life was severely altered after I had an accident while in the military. I was in and out of the hospital for the next six months having various surgeries. It was also during this time that I noticed two things, I was drinking 4-5 gallons of water or ice tea a day and actually starting to develop some incontinence both day and night. I kept thinking how embarrassing it would be to pee myself in front of all the cute therapists in the hospital, but then my primary nurse says to me, “you could wear diapers for a while, why we do some tests.” Those words sent a hot flush of embarrassment right through me, along with an intense excitement. While my embarrassment was screaming no way, my excitement made me say OK.

After the doctors realized this was going to be a lifelong medical issue, the doctors and nurses suggested that I try condom catheters or catheters to control the incontinence and seemed surprised when I told them I wanted to stay in diapers as I feel they are easier to deal with. They then said as long as the diapers didn’t cause any irritations, it made sense to stay in them. But truth be told, I realized I was now actually happy that it was official that I needed to wear diapers. It was the first moment I felt there was a benefit in being disabled. Yea it does have inconvenient aspects, but I am so lucky to be turned on by diapers. Instead of feeling miserable over being incontinent, my disability was now forcing me to live my diaper fetish.

All of my family knows I need to wear diapers and fully support me. I have now fully embraced my need for diapers and often wear Dry 24/7 disposables or thick cloth diapers and nursery print plastic pants everywhere I go. Usually they are only covered by shorts and a T shirt or when I am feeling real adventurous short shorts so that my plastic pants peek out of the leg band, but that is another story!

Now that you have to wear diaper, here is how you do it and make the best of it.

1: Own It

The majority of people become withdrawn, and self-conscious when they start wearing diapers. The most important part of wearing diapers successfully is not letting diapers stop you from doing any of the things you would be normally doing. One has to embrace the fact that they do in fact wear diapers, and realize that no one really cares.

I reality no one can spot a diaper in most cases anyway. Most people are to self-absorbed to be staring at stranger's butts. Also, it is objectively hard to tell that a person is wearing a diaper. Most diapers are nearly invisible under clothes except if you wear thicker diapers and plastic pants like I do.

Also, everyone’s anatomy is unique. Even if you notice how different you look wearing a diaper, no one has the standard of comparison to know what you are supposed to look like without a diaper. The diapered you is the new normal. It is just you with a little more butt.  There are very few people who automatically assume that anyone wears diapers.

Literally no one looks around thinking “I wonder if anyone is wearing a diaper today?”. Ultimately these people are extremely rare, and they are not going to make fun of you for it anyway. Again, virtually no one will know or care. The only way to get outed is to wear a super thin diaper that is inadequate and leaks on you. Remember, It is more discrete to wear a big poufy diaper than a skimpy one that leaks on you. 

Really though, you will have to perhaps reasses your view of what is acceptable behavior in the people you associate with. Needing or having the desire to wear diapers was not a choice on your part. If the people you are around are going to give you grief over your disability or identity, then they are probably terrible people.  Lastly, you project the way you want to be treated to some degree. Stressing about your diapers just draws unnecessary attention to what is your own private business.

2. Stay Hydrated/Monitor Diet:

 When wearing diapers one can become extremely self-conscious about the way they smell. Diapers are usually one of the first things most people have come to mind when asked to think of something that smells bad. In reality, most adults who wear diapers can manage to make any odors non-existent. Urine normally should have very little to no smell at all.

Some people try to drink less water when they start wearing diapers. Dehydration actually makes diapers smell much worse, and dehydration almost always aggravates bladder issues. In those individuals with bowel issues it is important that they eat a healthy balanced diet with plenty of green vegetables, and whole grains. One extra serving of vegetables per day can really cut down odor. There are also some commercially available orally ingested chlorophyll products meant to reduce odor.

Ultimately the best advice is to stay well hydrated, and watch what you eat. Some foods like asparagus, and coffee can make your diapers reek.

3. Be Prepared:

When wearing diapers one eventually learns to keep a few spare diapers on hand at all times. Invest in a diaper bag that you like. Perhaps a cute backpack? Ladies can rock a big purse.

Always carry 3 spare diapers and plastic pants with you along with some wipes and lotion. Having a well stocked diaper back comes in handy anyway. There is nothing like the joy of going into a bathroom that has run out of toilet paper and realizing you have a bunch of wipes with you in your bag.

Another good thing to keep in one's bag is a few empty bags to dispose of diapers in. There are bag dispensers for dog waste that are opaque and convenient for tossing diapers discretely. As far as other ways to be prepared, always keep a stash of diapers and spare clothes in your car in case your diaper leaks.

4. Use Skin Care Products:

Odor can be cut down even further by remembering to apply certain products. Baby lotions and creams tend to mask the smell of dirty diapers very well. Children’s diapers are scented and smell great fresh out of the package. Very few adult diapers are scented and some do not offer the best odor control.

A good way to smell better is big surprise, to wear diapers the way a baby would. Use baby lotion and diaper rash cream when needed. The only reason not to use lotion is if you are allergic. Most of the baby changing products out there do exactly what they are supposed to in regard to odor control... Use them.

Alternatively, there are plenty of more masculine smelling products aimed at men, but who cares if you smell like baby powder, I don’t?

5. Choose The Right Diaper:

Choose high quality diapers, not store brand. Store bought diapers are for people who only leak small amounts of urine. In general, adult pull-ups are not diapers. Pull-ups are for people who generally can make it to the restroom but want a little protection in case they don’t quite make it.

Real diapers are tape on briefs. In America at least, they have pretty much stopped selling tape on briefs, and the ones they do sell are pathetic. The easiest way for someone to tell you have a diaper on is for it to leak.

Choose thicker higher capacity diapers such as Dry 24/7, Better Dry, or Northshore to name a few. Better diapers are cheaper online than a lot of the store-bought poor-quality ones anyway. This is just my opinion, but I feel like a lot of incontinent folk are traumatized by store bought diapers. Seriously, you start having continence issues and you rush to the store to get adult diapers. Half of them leak on you, and you spend the rest of your life trying to scramble to the bathroom after every accident before your diaper leaks. That is a very stressful way of life.

A good rule of thumb with diapers is to use it for one less wetting than it can hold. For example, lets say a particular diaper holds 3 good wettings.  Let yourself void fully 2 times, and then change. With store bought diapers that only hold about 1 wetting you have no safety net.

The whole point of incontinence is that you don’t have control over how much you wet or mess. It just happens.  Put on a good diaper and move on with your life.

Lastly, do not be afraid to wear some of the better printed diapers like Rearz, Crinklz, Bambino and many more.  They are fun and absorbent and who cares what is printed on your diapers?

6. Test Your Diapers At Home:

Always test your diapers at home. It is important to make sure that your diapers fit you properly and meet your needs before you go out in public. There is nothing like surviving an embarrassing accident. Everyone’s anatomy, and incontinence is unique. Some diapers just do not work well for some people no matter the price point.

Not surprisingly there are even people out there who do not like high end diapers such as Dry 24/7, Better Dry, Abena, or the old Plastic Attends.  I myself don’t tend to rate secure current attends, Depends highly because they don’t fit my body very well and leak relatively easily. With some people it is not a matter of leaking, it can be a matter of pain. Some diapers are too tight for some people and leave red marks on their thighs. It is important to remember that there is no standard sizes for diapers.

Besides fit, you also have to learn the way each brand of diaper feels when they need to be changed. Every diaper feels different when it has reached capacity. Some feel squishy. Some feel lumpy or fall apart. Some just feel wet. The best way to do this is to test drive your diaper at home. Make a note of what you were doing when your diaper leaked, and how full it was. Where you sitting down? Lifting something heavy? Make a note of where your diaper leaks onto your clothes so you can easily check for leaks in public in a discreet way.

7. Lose The Hair:

Another odor related topic is body hair. Bacteria like surface area. Body hair is a great place for odor causing bacteria to hide. A weekly shave with an electric razor or clippers will reduce smell significantly. It doesn't have to be a close shave. Even just lazily running an electric razor over the hair so as to leave a short stubble of a couple millimeters helps tremendously. In fact, a close shave can be irritating and even cause hair follicles to become impacted. With the high humidity, and friction of a wearing diapers, close shaves are a quick path to a rash. 

8. Wear Plastic Pants:

Plastic pants are a covering used with cloth diapers. They can also be helpful for people who wear disposables as well. They can be a last line of defense to protect your clothes, but they also control odor very well, and drastically reduce any crinkle noises that diapers make. The only downside to plastic pants is that they can be warm during the summer. They are also incredibly fun with all the cute prints that are available and I must say fun.

Most importantly, one has to embrace the fact that they do in fact have to wear diapers, and realize that no one really cares. Wear color, patterns, prints and have fun, embrace it and wear your diapers and make the best of a situation that you cannot control.