Telling GF About Fetish

[~Brian~]

On 10/4/2021 at 1:15 PM, diapers161 said:

Thanks to everyone so much for your feedback on this topic! It has been much appreciated. Sorry for taking so long to get back to you, but here is an update!

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a full year now. I never told her about the diaper fetish. But we are both very happy with our sex life together. That's one of the reasons I never told her. It seems selfish to tell her. From what she has told me already, it seems very clear she will not be into this fetish. One of the biggest turn-ons for me is that she is enjoying sex and turned-on, so I am not even sure I'd want to do diaper stuff with her if she is going to think it is creepy or a major turn-off.

I also did some research online looking into posts from women asking for help after their boyfriend revealed a diaper fetish to them. I believe we are a bit insulated from the truth on this forum and forget how weird this fetish is to somebody who doesn't share it. The women in these posts are completely disgusted by it. In one instance the woman said she didn't know if she could ever be attracted to her boyfriend again after getting the image of him in a diaper in her head.

I am not sure I want to subject my girlfriend (or myself) to this risk with so little upside (almost 0% chance she is into it).

This had been my opinion for the last few months; however, there was an unanticipated event last night. She was sad last night because she was thinking about when I had told her several weeks ago that I did not feel ready to commit to marriage anytime soon. We had a really long good talk. Towards the end she started talking about how enjoyable our sex was to her. I agreed. She also asked me if there was anything else I was into or that I wanted to try in bed that we hadn't done before. This is when I started to feel bad, like maybe I was keeping a secret from her that I shouldn't. She noticed this and began prying, at which point I admitted there was something else I was into which I had never told her about.

This was a mistake, because now she is obviously super curious and wants to know what it is. She asked if it was anal and I said "no". She said, "Good" because she is really grossed about by poop and would worry about that. She asked if it was pee or poop, and I said no. Even though wetting diapers is big turn-on for me. She asked why I didn't want to tell her. I told her it's not really a big deal, but it is a little embarrassing. She seemed confused by that and said "but you already told me about the foot thing. is it worse than that?". She got the message that it was "worse" based on my facial reaction.

I think she tried to make me feel more comfortable by telling me about a fetish she knew of that was (in her mind) bound to be more embarrassing than what I had to say. She said "there are actually people that do this baby thing. Like they dress up and pretend to be babies. In diapers and everything. They shit in their diapers together.". I just laughed in response. It hurt a bit to hear that and I knew I couldn't tell her at that point.

She kept pressing for me to tell her. She even told me that if I didn't tell her then she is probably assuming it is something worse than it is anyways (little does she know lol). I don't really know what to do now. The die is cast though. I am sure I end up relenting and telling her at some point now. I have a plan on how to do it though. I think the association with babies and poop was the biggest issue she had when she was describing her vision of ABDL to me. And messing isn't something I'm into anyways.

If I tell her, then I am going to first open up about mainly having a sub/humiliation kink, which is the truth. The other week I was in the mood and she wasn't. I was hoping I could cross her into the mood, but she eventually just started giving me a hand job. I came super quick from it, which surprised her. In my head I was fantasizing that she didn't want to have sex with me because I wasn't good enough. I imagined she was jerking me off into a diaper that she was going to force me to wear after. Humiliation is a big turn-on for me. I would also explain that is part of the foot fetish thing. Kissing her feet is humiliating/sub, which is part of the reason it turns me on. If I'm brave enough, I'll then to proceed to tell her what is one of the most humiliating things to me. Diapers.

tldr; was about to tell gf about diaper fetish and she brought up abdl to make me feel better (she assumed my fetish must be less embarrassing/creepy than that)

@diapers161

good morning:

I agree with the strategy: the ultimate thing is that you want to be able to tell her what is on your mind. Apparently, we already know that she is a suspecting something. In my mind, it’s not that big a deal to tell your girlfriend that you are involved in diapers. What I would do is to tell her exactly why you are into what you’re into, tell her things like “the diapers make me feel good “, or “I need them for psychological reasons“ or whatever that happens to be. If your girlfriend is suspecting something, then she’s already thinking “what the heck is going on inside this guys head“ or something similar. It’s always a good idea to gauge what you think she is taking in, but make sure that you tell her the truth when you finally decide to tell her, because I can tell you from experience once you do that, and you hear her response, If it is in the positive, then you just dodged a humongous pile of doo.

once you tell her, then at least you’ll be able to know where you stand, and if she’s already told you things when you or her brought up diapers and babies, then that may be your door in to the discussion. Of course, adult babies are not children, so that is not an issue, and that is what you need to make sure you tell her. Being an adult baby does not mean that you are involved in anything related to actual children, it is that you want to act feel and maybe look like one. If she already suspects that you were into something, then her mind will be spinning its wheels until you disclose. Once you tell her, you’ll probably will feel a lot better once you figure out what or find out how she feels about this. If she is that curious, and is willing to talk to you, then that probably will be in your best interest. It sounds like this lady is pretty interesting and understanding, so I would probably tell you to tell her what is going on. It may be hard to do this, but in the long run since this lady seems to be receptive and wanting to know what is going on, it would be better if you told her. The only time I would advise against this would be if the lady is dead set against diapers or diaper wearing or using or whatever it is. Once you talk to her and she understands your fetish or your needs, then you can discuss what she expects from this, what she will allow, what you want out of this, etc. This is the Way it Hass to be. You both need to discuss this: you disclose what you need to disclose, she ask you questions about your fetish your likes your dislikes etc. you listen to her and let her ask you as much as she wants and talk about it, and then she listens to you as you explain what is going on in your head what you expect and all of that. Once that is done you guys can come to some sort of “understanding“ as to how this will go down in your relationship. It has been my experience that most ladies are very understanding, and I think that is because people understand that I have a disability, and it’s not a big deal to wear diapers. Hopefully this young lady is out of that mindset, because I can tell you from experience that “the urges that you were finding and feeling and experiencing were there a long time ago, and you are wired the way you were wired for a reason. The urges and feelings that you are experiencing or had experienced will always be there, So “they’re not going anywhere bud“

as others have said honesty is the best policy: she already knows something is up so the best thing to do is to let her in on it and explain yourself carefully and then see what happens. It’s almost like playing poker: you keep a secret because you don’t want your cards to be revealed, because you want to see if somebody else has better cards so you end up playing a game to see if you can get them to fold so that you win the hand. In this case, she already knows something is up, so you would have to show your hand, but do it slowly and carefully because you don’t want to lose out on your girlfriend.

good luck man: I know this is a hard subject to broach, but it can be done, with tact skill and a good discussion.

please keep us advised!

Brian

[diapers161]

On 12/7/2021 at 9:38 AM, ~Brian~ said:

@diapers161

good morning:

I agree with the strategy: the ultimate thing is that you want to be able to tell her what is on your mind. Apparently, we already know that she is a suspecting something. In my mind, it’s not that big a deal to tell your girlfriend that you are involved in diapers. What I would do is to tell her exactly why you are into what you’re into, tell her things like “the diapers make me feel good “, or “I need them for psychological reasons“ or whatever that happens to be. If your girlfriend is suspecting something, then she’s already thinking “what the heck is going on inside this guys head“ or something similar. It’s always a good idea to gauge what you think she is taking in, but make sure that you tell her the truth when you finally decide to tell her, because I can tell you from experience once you do that, and you hear her response, If it is in the positive, then you just dodged a humongous pile of doo.

once you tell her, then at least you’ll be able to know where you stand, and if she’s already told you things when you or her brought up diapers and babies, then that may be your door in to the discussion. Of course, adult babies are not children, so that is not an issue, and that is what you need to make sure you tell her. Being an adult baby does not mean that you are involved in anything related to actual children, it is that you want to act feel and maybe look like one. If she already suspects that you were into something, then her mind will be spinning its wheels until you disclose. Once you tell her, you’ll probably will feel a lot better once you figure out what or find out how she feels about this. If she is that curious, and is willing to talk to you, then that probably will be in your best interest. It sounds like this lady is pretty interesting and understanding, so I would probably tell you to tell her what is going on. It may be hard to do this, but in the long run since this lady seems to be receptive and wanting to know what is going on, it would be better if you told her. The only time I would advise against this would be if the lady is dead set against diapers or diaper wearing or using or whatever it is. Once you talk to her and she understands your fetish or your needs, then you can discuss what she expects from this, what she will allow, what you want out of this, etc. This is the Way it Hass to be. You both need to discuss this: you disclose what you need to disclose, she ask you questions about your fetish your likes your dislikes etc. you listen to her and let her ask you as much as she wants and talk about it, and then she listens to you as you explain what is going on in your head what you expect and all of that. Once that is done you guys can come to some sort of “understanding“ as to how this will go down in your relationship. It has been my experience that most ladies are very understanding, and I think that is because people understand that I have a disability, and it’s not a big deal to wear diapers. Hopefully this young lady is out of that mindset, because I can tell you from experience that “the urges that you were finding and feeling and experiencing were there a long time ago, and you are wired the way you were wired for a reason. The urges and feelings that you are experiencing or had experienced will always be there, So “they’re not going anywhere bud“

as others have said honesty is the best policy: she already knows something is up so the best thing to do is to let her in on it and explain yourself carefully and then see what happens. It’s almost like playing poker: you keep a secret because you don’t want your cards to be revealed, because you want to see if somebody else has better cards so you end up playing a game to see if you can get them to fold so that you win the hand. In this case, she already knows something is up, so you would have to show your hand, but do it slowly and carefully because you don’t want to lose out on your girlfriend.

good luck man: I know this is a hard subject to broach, but it can be done, with tact skill and a good discussion.

please keep us advised!

Brian

Hi Brian. You might have missed a post. I already told her! ?

Thanks everyone for trying to reel me back in from pushing things too quickly. It's really hard not to. Especially once your head starts spinning with the idea of so many fantasies that might actually be possible now.

It would be my first time wearing diapers around somebody else who knew about it. I don't actually have any diapers on-hand right now though (just some goodnites). And the goodnites are the girl XL kind. And I don't really feel like explaining to her that girl diapers turn me on even more (probably because they're extra humiliating).

The other night she was up taking a shower at almost 4AM. She explained she woke up early and could not go back to sleep. While she was up she had an "incident". She said had a bit of unexpected diarrhea and pooped herself a little bit. Poop is not a turn on for me or anything, so I just playfully laughed with her about the incident. But it was hard not to respond with something along the lines of "well maybe you need to start wearing a diaper *wink*wink*". Part of me felt like she brought it up, SO I would say something like that in response. I'm afraid maybe she is afraid to bring it back up unless I do first. So I don't know about waiting until she brings it up again. What if it never happens?

[diapers161]

Quick update. I’ve managed to make it so far without bringing up diapers again. She hasn’t brought it up either.

I think I may beak and bring it up again soon. I want to ask her if it’s ok if I order some diapers. We’re roommates in the same room, so it would be pretty much impossible to hide from her. I’m going to say the diapers are just for me and ask if she’d be comfortable with me wearing around her sometimes.

If I go through with it then I’m thinking of ordering little kings, rearz safari, or rearz barnyards. If I’m too embarrassed I may start off with megamax or a medical diaper. Have I waited long enough?

[diapers161]

Well tonight was the night! I did it. I brought it back up.

Out of the blue I asked her if she remembered that kink I told her about a while back. She said she remembered. I apologized for taking so long to tell her again. Then I asked if she’d be ok if I ever wanted to wear a diaper around her.

She said yes without hesitation.

She said she is all for it if it will make me happy. She said she’s never tried anything kinky before, but she’s ok with trying it. Not sure exactly what she meant she was willing to try or how much participation there will be on her part. But I’m happy!

Already planning what diapers I am going to order now

[Forced2wet]

On 3/30/2022 at 3:44 AM, diapers161 said:

Well tonight was the night! I did it. I brought it back up.

Out of the blue I asked her if she remembered that kink I told her about a while back. She said she remembered. I apologized for taking so long to tell her again. Then I asked if she’d be ok if I ever wanted to wear a diaper around her.

She said yes without hesitation.

She said she is all for it if it will make me happy. She said she’s never tried anything kinky before, but she’s ok with trying it. Not sure exactly what she meant she was willing to try or how much participation there will be on her part. But I’m happy!

Already planning what diapers I am going to order now

Great news.

I hope this new journey in your relationship really works for you both 

[diapers161]

A couple months my order of diapers arrived. I waited to open it with here. It was super nerve-wracking to admit it was a package of diapers!

I ordered a case of safaris and samples of the Inspires and lil monsters. I also bought a sample pack of mermaid tales for her to try if she wanted.

I don’t know what I was expecting, but the whole thing was really awkward. She didn’t say anything negative, but also didn’t seem excited about it.

Her lack of excitement made me self conscious about it. I told her I was going to try one on and left to the bathroom to put on a safari. I came back in wearing shorts of the diapers and got in bed with her. We cuddled a bit but she went to sleep pretty quick. I took the diaper back off shortly after.

I left the box of diapers in our closet after that night and neither of us made any mention of it again.. until last night.

The previous night she had opened up and asked if we could buy a vibrator. She didn’t want me to feel bad about it. She is on medication that makes it harder to orgasm. It can take a long time. I didn’t mind at all. We ordered one that night. 

Then the next night she brought up diapers! She said she had more questions about my fetish. She had done research online but wanted to know more from me about what I liked about them. We talked for a long time. I explained it was a humiliation//submissive thing. We talked more about my kinks and things she liked in bed.

She said she has found out she really likes attention being paid to her feet (also my fetish). I told her specific submissive things I like revolving diapers. I told her I like to be humiliated wearing them and being told I have to wear them. I told her I like peeing in them. She kept asking for more and more. She was really supportive. I told her I wanted to wear a diaper she peed in. I told her I wanted to be denigrated. I wanted to give her multiple orgasms and when it was my turn only he allowed to kiss her feet while humping my diaper. I mentioned the vibrator would also be helpful for me through the diaper. We call it our vibrator now

She said she’s not ready to wear a diaper yet. But will get more comfortable as she sees me wearing. She’s fully supportive of me wearing whenever I want. In fact, later that night, she forced me to wear one. 

We made our while I was wearing nothing but a diaper. She rubbed the front of my diaper and almost made me cum. I told her if the diaper was wet/squishy (or if we had the vibrator already) it would have worked. I ate her out for a good while and kissed her feet.

Then the time came and I told her I really had to pee. She said “so??? That shouldn’t be a problem at all. I mean, you’re wearing a diaper” and playfully laughed at me. I explained I wasn’t the best at peeing in diapers yet. I told her I hoped to get better at it though. She asked if it’s like unpotty training yourself. I said, “exactly!”

I didn’t end up peeing in the diaper that night. I didn’t want to push anything too quick even if she seemed ok with it.

Today is the next day and we haven’t been able to stop kissing and loving on each other. We both feel so much closer. I can’t wait for what the future holds!

[FretaBWet]

Congrats to you both. It sounds like you're building a strong healthy relationship.

Hugs,

Freta

[~Brian~]

16 hours ago, FretaBWet said:

Congrats to you both. It sounds like you're building a strong healthy relationship.

Hugs,

Freta

I would agree: sounds to me like this relationship will be a good one, and that your girlfriend is understanding as to what is going on, and if she told you that you were wearing a diaper, and that you should pee in it, it sounds like she understands that it is no big deal to wear a diaper. Most of my friends tell me the same thing, because they said if you have to wear a diaper it's no big deal it's part of life, so it sounds to me like you are going about it the right way, and you're not going too fast. Just let it happen and at the speed that it is going, and you should be able to see how comfortable you and your girlfriend will be when we're talking about diapers and their use. Just take it slow and easy, and then let us know how it goes.

Briwn