Socks and Underwear, A Christmas Story

[willnotwill]

I revised this a bit for the current season...

 

Billy’s Christmas List, he wrote in large letters at the top of the page. “1.  A pony,” he started. It was a long-standing joke in the family to put something you knew you weren’t going to get at the top of the list. His sister annually wanted a pony and used to put it at about item number three. It didn’t work, but everybody else put ponies at the top of their list. The lists were important as Mom always threatened socks and underwear for anybody who didn’t make their desires known. Billy hated getting any clothes for gifts. Clothes were necessities; gifts were supposed to be fun.

“2. Super X Plus fitted briefs, size medium,” he continued. More items followed cloth diapers, plastic pants. Of course, he wasn’t going to get these either. It was pure fantasy on his part.

About six months ago, he had fashioned a diaper out of an old towel and some plastic pants out of a plastic trash bag. He’d even manage to wet them before his parents got home early and caught him. They about freaked out. He went underground with his desires.

Two months later, trying to be more careful, he managed to buy Depends from a store along with a baby bottle. Again, when he was sure nobody was home, he slipped into the diaper, filled the bottle with milk, and crawled off to his room to play. He crawled into bed with the bottle and must have drifted off to sleep. The next sound he heard was his parents coming through the door. “Billy?” his Mom called. He panicked.

Here he was wearing just a diaper. He pulled the blankets over him as his mother poked her head in the room.

“Just taking a nap, Mom. I was a little tired,” he replied. Then he realized the bottle was there in plain sight. He tried to stuff it under the pillow nonchalantly.

“What’s that?” Mom demanded to hold out her hand. He was caught. He realized he had no choice and handed over the bottle. Mom shook her head. “We better talk to your father about this. Come downstairs!” Billy hesitated, “Now!” she said as she grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to his feet. Another gasp as she caught sight of him standing there in just the diaper.

Of course, the resulting conversation wasn’t pleasant. “Why?” they asked.  Billy said he liked it. The questioning went round and round nowhere. Mom went up and grabbed the stash of baby stuff and tossed it. He had appointments with a psychologist and a doctor. Embarrassing and unproductive, it was. And it was the same line of questioning:  Why?

Dear, I’m concerned about Billy.    This playing like a baby isn’t normal and can’t be healthy.   I don’t know where I went wrong raising him.   Maybe, I rushed his toilet training too quickly.    I thought he was ready.   Was I just too eager to get my child out of diapers?    I talked to the pediatrician, and she recommended a colleague.    No, a psychologist.   No, he’s not crazy or retarded.   How can you say that about your son?   I’m hoping the doctors can help.

Bill added to the list.   Cloth diapers would be exciting and plastic pants.    A onesie and perhaps a romper would round out the collection.   He’d enjoy that even it was violating his rule of not wanting clothes.

Then he snapped out of it.   It wasn’t going to happen.  He crumbled the list. It was futile. He threw it into the trash and thought, “Well, I guess it’s socks and underwear this year.”

He said what, Doctor?   He’d wear diapers 24/7 if he had the chance.    Well, I don’t think that’s realistic.  No, I suspect it wouldn’t physically harm him, but should we even be encouraging it?   What?  Will he grow out of it.   Maybe if we did, he’d get tired of it.

Christmas morning came. His sister was excited, and so was he. His parents always came through with something good. There were plenty of wrapped packages with his name. He picked up a small one and tore into the wrapping — a small box inside. He opened it, socks. Socks, the nightmare was coming true, was socks and underwear to be the theme? And these socks were baby blue. Great, not even clothes he was going to wear.

He picked up the second package. It gave a bit as he picked it up. Great, more clothes inside. This was going to be the worst Christmas ever. He tore it open, dejected and found a plastic package inside. It wasn’t what he was expecting. He pulled the wrapping further to expose what was written on it.

SUPER X-PLUS FITTED BRIEFS (SIZE MEDIUM)

He just blinked for a minute. Was this real? A camera flash went off. Dad was taking his picture. His parents were smiling. “I found your list in the trash,” Mom said.

No, Doctor, I guess that is true.   I’m worried that he may get hurt by one of his friends, or even perhaps a child that is not his friend, finds out and teases or bullies him over it.   Yes, I understand that he has to make his own decisions and be aware of the problem.  OK, thank you, Doctor.   I’ll let you know.

Hello, Ace Medical Supply?   I’m looking to get some diapers for my son.   I want to get them before Christmas.   His father and I have been going back and forth over allowing him to wear these.   He has some specific brands on his Christmas list, so I hope you might have one or two of them.  Yes, his Christmas list.   You see, he wants to wear diapers, and we’ve been resisting.   No, there’s no medical reason.   You have heard of this before?   What?  Oh yes,  Let me read you what’s on the list.   Thank you very much.

“After a long talk with your doctors, we decided that there was nothing to harm, physically and mentally, by letting you have your wishes.”

A great smile broke onto his face — another flash. He picked up another small package and opened it, diaper pins: another, a set of milky white plastic pants. As he continued, he grew more and more excited. He found Baby bottles, pacifiers, cloth diapers, and a diaper. Even things he hadn’t had on the list. A set of footed pajamas, bibs, some onesies, and other baby clothes. He couldn’t believe it. This was the best Christmas ever. One package was some pull-up diapers. These weren’t on his list, so he looked at them for a second. His father spoke, “We figured you might not want to wear the regular diapers to school, so we got you some of these.”

Hello, Nurse Sawyer?   This is Michelle Green. My son Bill is in the tenth grade there.   Oh, yes, we’re fine.   I just wanted to let you know that after Christmas vacation, Bill will be wearing a diaper to school.   What’s going on?   Well, he has been asking to wear them for a long time, and we finally relented. Oh, no, nothing like that.   He’s not had accidents. He likes the idea of wearing them.   Oh, OK, that might be a good idea.    I’ll talk to the counselor.   Yes, perhaps a change of diapers and clothes would be a good idea.   I’ll drop off a diaper bag for him at your office.

“Perhaps you’ll want to dress before breakfast, ”Mom said. Sure, he grabbed some of the stuff and headed to his room. He grabbed the pins and cloth diaper and quickly did himself up. He pulled up the plastic pants and stood there, looking in the mirror. It was too good to be true. Mom entered and told him to put the rest away. He pulled open the drawer. His underwear was gone. Mom must have removed it while he was opening presents. He put the remaining cloth diapers in the drawer. He pulled the next drawer; it was already full of more diapers and baby stuff. He went and looked in the closet. There were several sets of school clothes but besides that, more baby stuff.

“We figured you’d do this in a big way.” Your underwear is gone, as are most of your big boy clothes. You have your normal school clothes, but at other times, you’ll wear diapers and baby stuff. By the way, here in your bathroom are two things, a diaper pail for the cloth stuff and a diaper genie for the disposable. We don’t want your messy things smelling up the place. It’s a little crowded now, but the plumber is coming Tuesday to remove the toilet. You obviously won’t need that anymore.

Billy swallowed hard.   Big boy pants are gone.  Toilet on the way out.   This was what he had dreamed about.    But the more he thought about it, the more he smiled.

Yes, dear.   He does seem very happy.   Perhaps this is for the best.  No, I don’t think he’ll outgrow it any time soon.   The psychologist says these things are very long-lived.   Even if the person wants to change their behavior, it isn't easy

He put on the onesie he had brought up, taking joy at snapping the crotch closed. He came downstairs, and a bib, a bowl of oatmeal, and a bottle awaited him at the table. As the family sat down, Billy proclaimed, “This is the bestest Christmas EVER!

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[junyour]

I like this version a little better than the one on your web site. I have no reason, just an opinion. Thank you for sharing this new version.

[willnotwill]

Thanks.    Just a few more passes the editing.   Added the mother's (italics) thoughts.

 

[diaprbayb]

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