Yours Truly, Johnny Diaper.

[BabySofia]

Nice cliff hanger... Grrr! 

[willnotwill]

Dr. Sanford's Caboose Creme brings you the latest from the man with the action-packed address account, Americas favorite diapered insurance investigator.

Yours Truly, Johnny Diaper.

I was sweating.    I'd walked into a bad situation and now my adversary was holding my gun at me and making crazy talk about killing me.    And Kristin was there, lovely as ever.   She had a short white dress on, as if she'd come from playing tennis.

"Johnny," Kristin said again.  "What happened to your face."

I raised my fingers to my face.   It was still tender and must have looked worse.   Jill at Ace Medical had made a similar comment.

"Your uncle sent his galoot to deliver a message that I should stay away from you.   It came with some physical punctuation."

"Uncle Lou?" she turned to him and noticed the gun.   "What is this?"

"Don't listen to a word he says," Ramsey began.   "He's not who he claims he is.   Everything he's told you is a lie."    Kristin turned back to me with concern.   "He's here to ruin your future."

"Everything I told you was the truth," I countered.   "I did make on omission.    I am an investigator, but the case I'm investigating is a lawsuit.     But then I met you, and it jeopardized my professional handling of the case because I was falling for you."

"What case?"

"Kristin Johnson versus the Metropolitan Transit Line.   Ten million dollars for injuries sustained during a bus accident."

"What lawsuit?" Kristin said bewildered.   "I wasn't injured in the bus accident."

"Do you want to tell her?  Or should I?" I said to Ramsey.

"Uncle Lou?" Kristin inquired.

"Kris, dear.    I am just trying to assure your future."

"But how could you?"

"It's easy.   You know that specialist you saw a few weeks back.   He had no problem providing the medical documentation needed.   Normally, he'd charge a pretty penny for this service, but I send him enough business that he did this one as a courtesy.  That and the receipts for me purchasing you diapers is plenty of evidence."

"But you weren't even going to tell me about it?"

"I was, once things were set.   I knew you'd not go for it out of the box.   But, I figured once things were underway, I would be able to convince you.   Understand, at this point it's more than your future at stake, but mine as well.   If the truth came out, I'd likely be disbarred."

"Uncle Lou!" she said confused.

"The only problem is how to deal with the interference of Mr. Diaper here.    His breaking into my office this afternoon just gives me the opportunity to resolve that."  He was now waving my gun around and then brought it back to bear on me.   Thomas will corroborate my story.   It was purely self defense."

"Listen, Ramsey.   You won't get away with it."

"But I will," he said.   He now stiffened his arms and sighted straight at my head.    As I saw him go for the trigger, my breath hitched.     Then Kristin stepped between us.   I heard the gun fire.   Kristin started to fall and I stepped forward to ease her to the floor.   A red stain was rapidly growing across her chest.   I instinctively put my hand over the wound and pressed.

"Call an ambulance," I said.

"Is she dead?" Rasmey asked with a gasp.

"She may well be soon.   Call an ambulance."

"Johnny," I heard Kristin's voice say weakly.    I turned to her.   "I love you."

"Save your strength," I said.    Ramsey hadn't moved.    He was sitting in his chair crying.

"Everything is ruined," he sobbed.    Bubba returned to the room, having heard the gunshot.    Ramsey took the gun and turned it on himself.

"Ramsey, NO!" I yelled.    But the second shot of the day rang out.    "Bubba, call an ambulance."    The galoot just stood there stunned.     I remembered his name, "Thomas!"  he snapped out of it and looked at me.   " Call an ambulance."   Finally, spurred into action he reached over and picked up the phone.

It seemed like an eternity but the ambulance arrived.    One paramedic came to me and the other went to Ramsey.     "I'm fine.   The girl took the bullet headed my way,"

"This one's gone," the paramedic attending to Ramsey said.    He came over and both started to work on Kristin.   A few minutes later she was in the ambulance and on her way to City Hospital.    I wanted to ride with her, but by then the police had arrived and they wouldn't let me leave the scene.

Expense Report.   Item 9.   Eight Dollars.   Parking fee at City Hospital.

It took two and a half hours to relate the history of events to a series of police officers, each at a higher level.   Not to discriminate, Thomas was being grilled by his own set of police in Tapper's office.     I thought I may end up meeting the chief of police, but they finally released me.

I drove over to the hospital.   I inquired and was told Kristin was in surgery.  I decided to wait.   I was fortunate that I knew the nurses and even the surgeon.   I'd taken a gunshot myself two years earlier and ended up in the same facility.    Eventually, the doctor appeared

"She'll be OK, I think.    She was shocky when she came in.   She's lost a lot of blood.   The bullet punctured a branch of the pulmonary artery but I've got that taken care of.    She's still unconscious.   She'll have to come out of that in her own time."

I thanked the doctor and sat vigil outside her room.    Thomas came and sat with me.    "I always liked that girl," he said.   He seemed sincere enough.   Maybe enough that I'd forgive him for kicking the crap out of me.   Eventually he left.   Every time a nurse or doctor went into Kristin's room, I craned my neck trying to get a look at her.

I came to the realization that my diaper was getting soaked.   I managed to charm one out of one of the nurses.   It was your average hospital issue thing, but it would do for now.    I excused myself to the men's room to change and then resumed my vigil.    On one of the nurse checks I slid over to the doorway for a better view.     I saw an eye open and heard a voice rasp, "Johnny."

I pushed myself into the room waiving off the complaint of the nurse and approached the bed.    Kristin tried to speak again.   "Just rest.    I need to tell you some things.   I know I can't hold you to something you said as you were about to pass out from being shot, but I need to say that I love you too.    I'm sorry everything went down the way it did."

She didn't try to speak.   She didn't even try to turn her head to look at me.    I knew my apology was feeble and that rightfully it could be over between us.    Then her hand reached out and took mine.   She gave a little squeeze.   And I knew everything would be alright.

So, Ray, thus ends my account for the Soggy Bottom Matter.    I suspect that once Ms. Johnson is back on her feet, she'll withdraw that lawsuit, her attorney having already withdrawn himself, so to speak.   Respectfully submitted, this 24th day of August.     Yours Truly, Johnny Diaper.

 

[maly]

That was certainly a gripping tale, Thanks.

Maly.

[diaperpt]

This was a fun story with an interesting delivery. Thanks for sharing!