Our Camp Days (Complete)

[Sophie ♥]

4 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

That's an odd stance for a parent to take when it comes to taking precautions. And an even weirder detail to throw in as the author. Unless... Did Kris's dad want him to be unprepared in a medical emergency? ?

 

More that his dad thinks it's effeminante to bring bandaids and stuff places.  He's a "tough it out" kinda guy.

4 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Grammar Patrol

*to

I actually think "but" is right, though oddly worded.  The implication is "waking up did anything EXCEPT calm" him down.  Though I think "everything but" is a better way to phrase it?  Hm..

[Wannatripbaby]

23 minutes ago, Sophie ♥ said:

I actually think "but" is right, though oddly worded.  The implication is "waking up did anything EXCEPT calm" him down.  Though I think "everything but" is a better way to phrase it?  Hm..

Ohhhhhhhhhhh. ?

[Sophie ♥]

Chapter 15

The next morning I still wasn't happy. We talked, of course, but there was a distance. A distance I kept. A distance I could see him noticing in his eyes. I decided not to look at him after that. This went on for nearly a week. No more rain came. Thankfully. And even when we'd lie together I wouldn't put my hand on his. I slept poorly, even beside him. Bags took residence under my eyes and I spent a lot of time cleaning.

That morning, when I came back to the cabin with our breakfast - Sidney had taken to leaving the cabin even less than usual this past week - I returned sporting a black eye, swollen and puffy. He didn't look up as I closed the door behind me, and for the first time I was glad he was avoiding eye contact.

"I got us some breakfast, Sidney. Are you going to read again today?" Reading all day had become his favored activity. I wondered if I’d done anything wrong, but figured in the end that I'd know when it was right to talk about it. He still hadn't looked up. Or answered. This was getting difficult.

A majority of the day was spent in quiet. Kris stayed, though he didn't talk. I read. He shuffled cards, as far as I could hear. We both ate. I never looked at him. It was difficult. Everything was difficult. I really liked him, but... I couldn't. Not this, not right now. I'd considered how to tell him. Inform him I wouldn't be sleeping with him anymore. But I couldn't get the words out. Until that night, anyway.

"Kris..."

"What's up?" It was a relief to hear his voice, and he looked up at me for the first time all day. I managed a smile - the swelling around my eye had gone down somewhat, but it was still pretty evident. Something serious was on his mind, though, something heavy and I made sure to give my undivided attention.

"Holy crap, Kris!" I climbed off the bed and stopped a foot short of him, looking up at his eye. He turned his head away.

"What happened?! Tell me!" I wasn't sure why I was so passionate or what good it would do. But I was worried. I wanted to know. I wanted to make it better. But I knew I couldn't. It was probably my fault. I felt dizzy again.

"Ah, this? It's nothing. Really. Andrew caught me off-guard - I grabbed the last granola bar because I know you love them, and Ivan was an asshole and tried to take it. I got it off him, turned around and then, well... there it is. It's cool, though. I mean, whatever right?" I smiled playfully, but Sidney didn't look any less concerned - if anything, he frowned a little more.

"Anyway, what's on your mind, peach?"

"I... don't..." I shook my head, looking down at my feet. Why did this have to suck so much? "I don't think we... um... should... sleep together or... anything like that. So I'm gonna move back... to the top bunk tonight... and yeah..." I'd gotten him hurt. Again. Always making things worse. Maybe that was the real reason my parents sent me here...

Sidney stumbled through his words, and when he was finished, I took his hands in mine and looked down into his eyes.

"Hey now, listen. I know it's been hard for you this past week, and you needed some space, but I wanna help you Sidney. I do, and you know that." He looked down and I squeezed his hand for a second to get him to look back up.

"I like you. A lot. And I can help you, but you gotta let me. You gotta trust me that I won't judge you. You gotta trust me when I say it’s alright that bad stuff happens sometimes. I'm your friend. And you know, we started off just laying together and now you let me hold your hands, and clean your things, and pick you berries. Don’t you see how much progress you've made in such a short time?"

I took my hands away from his. It was something I hadn't done in a long time. I took two steps back and looked back down at my feet.

"It's not a good idea... I can't explain... just... please... let's try to get through this season as painlessly as we can..." I turned away from Kris, gathering my blanket off the bottom bunk and hanging it over the wire. I still had to fix the sheets.

"I like you. Like-like. And it's all sorts of messed up because I don't even like guys, but I like you." There was a pause. A long, silent pause, where nothing happened. No words, no shuffling of blankets; barely any breathing. It was silence until I broke it.

"I think you like me, too. You blush so much when we talk, and you smile at me when you see my eyes. And you're happy, and you're not stressed out for these fantastic fleeting moments." More silence.

He... no. Nope. He wasn't. Nope. Nope. It wasn't like that. He didn't. This wasn't right. He was lying. Trying to make me... something. What did he want?! I shook my head a little bit, mildly shocked. I couldn't figure it out. Didn't make sense.

"I... Kris... I'm not gay. I told you that the first time... when..."

"I know. But I get this serenity when I'm around you... this peace. Calm. Like anything could happen and it'd be okay. Like I can picture any given situation in my life, and you're there and that just makes me smile. I know you don't like guys... but maybe you just hadn't met the right one. The kinda guy who likes you for who you are, who thinks you're charming, that you have a sweet voice, who refers to your quirks as quirks, and never makes you feel shitty for them. The kinda guy who makes enemies in a heartbeat just because they tried to hurt you. The kinda guy who makes you blush a dozen times a day, and who you feel safe enough with to cuddle in bed, holding his hand when you don't even touch anyone else." So many words. It was pointless, though. It was stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. I shouldn't have said it, shouldn't have risked it. Of course he wasn't going to reciprocate. Why would he?

"Kris... it's not... it's not like that. It's not... how... that's just friends. Friends stuff. You don't like me. Not like that. You're just confused, alright? Clearly we both need to get more sleep. Clearly we both need to just... take the night off. Lie down. Talk more in the morning." I was dizzy. This was surreal. Why was this happening?

I sighed and shook my head. What happened that night? With the nightmare? It had been a long week, and it had eaten away at me the entire time. He turned away and I stepped around, taking one hand in mine and putting the other on his cheek so he couldn't avert his eyes.

"I like you, Sidney. I want to be with you, and I don't care that we might never kiss. Don't care what people think or say or do. Fuck them. They don't matter. You matter, though. So if you have an inkling of the same feeling for me that I do for you? Tell me what happened. With the nightmare. Tell me what you were going to tell me. Because it's eating you inside and I miss you. I miss holding your hand, and I miss seeing you blush."

I was completely stunned. My cheeks quickly warmed Kris's palm on my face and I opened my mouth to try to form some semblance of words.

"I... I don't... um..." Gosh, his eyes were beautiful... "I don't... like you that way... so..." But I didn't pull away. I told myself to, but I'm kind of a defiant little bitch.

"I think you feel the same way. So tell me, please? Why you've been do distance?" I stepped back onto the bed, sitting on the edge, and then pulled the boy down to sit across my lap; my hand still on his cheek. I knew he liked that. Knew he craved the warmth. And he looked into my eyes, transfixed, not even a motion to look away. He really was a very gorgeous boy.

My lips quivered and I could do nothing but close my eyes. It was enough, though. Enough just to get a little bit of concentration back in my head. Logic. Direct. Okay.

"I'm not... don't... like you that way. And I'm... I'm sorry you feel differently about me than... I feel about you but... but I don't... and I'm sorry..." I didn't open my eyes, though. I knew better.

"You're wrong, Sidney." I had so much confidence in my voice; the same way I did when I spoke to those guys who threatened me. The way I did when I told them what would happen if they hurt Sidney.

"You're just so blind to the idea of ever being with anybody that you can't see it. But think about how your heart beats when we're close... how it's beating now. How you're still on my lap, how you're still smiling just a little bit. That you blush when I call you charming or witty or when I wash your hands." My hands gently slipped around one of his, fingers tracing the top at the bottom slowly.

"Of course you think you don't like boys... but you've never been with a girl, so all you can do is assume. What if that assumption is wrong? What if you do like guys, and you just never realized?"

I had to open my eyes for that one. Had to check if he was serious. Had to figure out how to respond to his craziness. But he looked serious. Definitely. I shook my head, slowly at first. No, no, no. With a bit of wiggling I climbed up off his lap and pulled myself to my feet.

"No. No I don't. I don't because I know better. And I don't. Of course I don't. And you're not... no. Just. Kris. No. Because. I said. And no." My reasons kind of sucked. He stood up off the bed and I took another step back. I was shaking.

"Close your eyes. Please?" He paused for a moment, as if pondering to trust me or not, weighing up everything in his head before eventually relenting and closing them.

"Imagine yourself in a year. And think about your life with me there... if we were together. Think about cuddling in bed every night, always having someone to talk to, holding hands, slowly breaking down the walls of your prison. Imagine being able to go outside and feel safe, imagine being able to know that without exception, there'll always be someone there in your life who'll stand by you, protect you, cherish you, help you grow. Now picture again in three years... and in five. Do you see me in your life? Do you picture being with me, even for a heartbeat, and smile?" Sidney kept his eyes closed, not letting a single word slip. I smiled to myself.

"Please? Be honest, Sidney. For me?"

"That's... something friends... do..." I wouldn't know. I'd never had friends. Not like Kris. But I couldn't do this to him. Even if I did... which I didn't. Even if I did. I couldn't. I knew I couldn't. I'd known that for a long time. I winced at the words on the tip of my tongue. They tasted so sour.

"I don't... see that. You and me. I don't..." But I did. I really did.

"Liar. You fake so many smiles, Sidney. You think I can't tell when you're faking words?" The smile on my face wasn't one of a boy who was riding on a guess. It was pure certainty.
"I know you're scared. I know you're worried. I know you're stressed. But so many things bring you these feelings, don't they? A month ago, holding someone’s hand would have made you terrified, wouldn't it? And now..." I reached out and took his hand in mine, my large fingers gently wrapping around his delicate smaller ones. "Now, when my hand surrounds yours, you feel safe. You feel wanted, and you don't feel alone. It was scary at first, but doesn't it just come so easy now?"

I tried to pull my hand away, but he'd have none of that. His hand held mine tighter and I felt my back touch the wall I'd scrubbed so many times. I opened my eyes with a little confusion, his dark green eyes peering down at me with that smile. I could barely move between him and the wall.

We were so close. My heart was beating as fast as his was, and I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him so very badly. I ran my left hand along his cheek and cupped it, my other hand resting on his hip. I whispered, softly, into his ear.

"Put your arms around me while I hold you."

He didn't ask, and likewise, I didn't protest. My arms wrapped around Kris as he held me, my back still to the wall, his lips still close to my ear. I was anxious as all hell, terrified something bad would happen. That the wall would fall down. Or a bug would land on me. Or he'd kiss me. But none of it happened. And his arms kept the anticipation at bay, just barely.

"I can't... don't you... don't you get it... I can't..." But I didn't let go. He didn't tell me to. I wasn't sure why. I couldn't say no. I knew what had to happen. I knew how this had to end. And still, I was hugging him. My head was just barely on his shoulder. I shouldn't be here. How did I get here?

"Tell me what you're afraid of." It wasn't a question, and likewise I knew that he'd answer - he responded so well when I helped him to let go of a responsibility for a moment; and it was only by the grace of this face that I'd gotten so far with the boy. Our chests were pressed together, his heartbeat off-center to mine, but both audible in my ears.

"Holding you back..." I didn't want to say it. The worlds tumbled out, as did the following ones. "I can't kiss. I can barely touch. I'm a lost cause, and... and things get worse. You haven't seen. And I can't hold you back. Drag you down. Can't. Please don't make me. Please don't let me..."

My words were so quiet. So lost. Like a very long slip of the tongue. Why was I doing this? Why was I telling him? He'd only try to convince me otherwise. What was wrong with me!

"You won't hold me back. I'll push you forward. If we can never kiss, if we can never touch more than we do right now I'll still be happy. I'll push you as far as you want to be pushed, and wherever we end up is what I want. Even if it's this. Just this."

In one motion, I lifted the boy up in my arms, hoisted him against my chest, turned, and laid him down on the bed on his back. I climbed up atop him, crawling up his body and leaned in close enough that I could kiss him if I wanted to. I didn't, though. I kept my lips just an inch from his and spoke very softly.

"We may never kiss, we may never do a lot of things. But wanting something... wanting something more than anything in the world... that's that crucial first step. You're not holding me back. I promise. You're everything I want."

I could hardly breathe. He was so close. I could lean up. I could kiss him. But my fears kept me firmly on the bed. Not safe. Not clean. So I stayed put. Lying there. Wishing. Pleading with the universe. One inch. Please. But it didn't happen. I was so dizzy.

"K..Kris... I..." My words were lost. I wasn't even sure what I was trying to say. I had an argument. A valid one. Gosh, where was it...

"Just tell me you want to kiss me. Tell me you want it, and trust me not to do it. Forget about logic. Forget about reason. They're the two biggest prisons of all. Tell me you want to kiss me."

"Of course I want to kiss you...! But—”

I thought he'd kissed me. The pressure on my lips. My heart skipped a beat. I thought I was going to throw up. But he didn't. He put his finger to my lips, silencing me. I felt so dizzy looking up at him. He was so close. I was just trying to explain. What was I supposed to do?

"Nod. Or shake. The way you used to. Do you want to be mine?" Sometimes communication was so much easier when reduced to its simplest, core variables; a boy who spent so much of his life mute had to be so acutely aware of that. I didn't want exceptions, buts, what-if's, worried-about's or any other condition. I just wanted yes or no.

I nodded my head. I had so many rebuttals. I had so much to say. He wouldn't let me say it, though. I could have said it anyway. I should have. A smart kid would. Nothing was stopping me. But he didn't want me to, and I didn't. When was Kris in charge of what I did, though?! I opened my mouth, but all it took was a stern look from the boy on top of me and I closed it again. This wasn't happening...

"I want you. And you want me. And there's nothing in this entire universe, no reason good enough to measure up to those two very simple facts. You don't hold me back. I promise."

-------------

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[Baby Billy]

That really has me confused, first Kris said he doesn't like guys yet he wants Sidney, what does he want a child to love and care for?

[Sophie ♥]

1 hour ago, Baby Billy said:

That really has me confused, first Kris said he doesn't like guys yet he wants Sidney, what does he want a child to love and care for?

Don't overthink it.   It will be a little clearer in the future.

[Wannatripbaby]

*sniff* I'm not crying! You're crying! ???

Grammar Patrol:

15 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said:

I kept my life just an inch from his and spoke very softly.

*lips

[Sophie ♥]

On 6/1/2020 at 12:02 PM, Wannatripbaby said:

Grammar Patrol:

Fixed!

[Sophie ♥]

Chapter 16

"I want to know everything. About that night with the nightmare, why you were trying to be distant and everything else. I want to know only so I can tell you how little it matters; how no matter how dark it gets for you, I'll always be your candle. So tell me."

I shook my head, and while I did so, I spoke. Not the words I wanted to speak. Not my protests or arguments.

"The nights like that are... bad. Rare. And bad. And I hadn't had any since the hospital. And I don't like thinking I'll have to go back... and it scares me... I'm always scared. If it keeps happening... if they put me back there..." I was trembling again. Why was I talking about this? Was I trying to scare him off?! Fuck, Sidney... why can't you keep your damn mouth shut...

It took a moment to click with regards to the sort of hospital he was referring to, but it was a moment so small that I barely skipped a beat.

"We all fall down sometimes, peach. But I bet having me there that night helped, right? Someone to lay with you and wake you up, take care of you when it got bad." He was quiet, beneath me, but a small bit of his anguish seemed to fade from behind his eyes.

"With me, you've taken more steps forward than I bet you have in five years. And we'll keep stepping forward, and if you fall down again it'll be me who picks you up. Not anyone else. Not anyone who wants to put you in hospital."

I shook my head again, the proper words revealed this time. "No. You won't be. This isn't a thing. This isn't. I'm not... you're not! We're not." The coherence was lost. I always had trouble with complete sentences but that time was a joke. Still, he understood. We both understood. This was a fallacy. A dream.

My finger came to rest on his lips again - which was a big thing in and of itself; having someone else's skin touch his lips at all - and he quieted down a little, but his thoughts bubbled beneath his gaze.

"I know it's hard to trust, know it's hard to put your faith in me. But I could have kissed you. And I didn't. And right now I think it's something we both want
more than air. But I didn't... and I'm not. Because I know you. I get you." I let my finger go from his lips.

I pouted, taking a deep breath before opening my mouth again. I wasn't letting this happen. I didn't care what he had to say. I knew this was bad. I wasn't going to let him cloud my judgement. But before a syllable escaped, his finger was on my lips again and the words faded into nothingness.

"You don't need a hospital. You don't need a stupid survivalist camp. You need an anchor. Someone to ground you when you get lost in a sea of thoughts. It doesn't matter how dark it gets, if you can still see a light you know you'll be safe."

"That's really not true. I am actually afraid of the dark, so I—”

His finger touched my lips again, and like he'd willed them away, the words vanished. I could barely remember what I was talking about. Just his eyes. There. Staring at me. I had trouble thinking clearly. I shook my head, frustrated and whimpering.

“You can’t keep shushing me!”

"You trust me. And I get you. And you want me. And I want you. And that's as much as there is to it, that's all that matters. And we're going to sleep together tonight.” He had so much more to say, but the picture painted in his eyes made it abundantly clear that he was mine. That his excuses, his reasons, his problems? They were all just words that needed to be thought and said and discarded.

Kris slid off of me onto his own side of the bed, his head still facing me. He pulled the covers up over himself and then pulled mine up over me like I was a toddler. I shook my head just a little and Kris looked over with a knowing look.

"I didn't agree to…” Something about sleep? Ugh, he made my head foggy...

I lightly tapped two fingers to my lips, and then pressed them to his - it was a tiny gesture, maybe a little bit outside of his comfort zone but certainly the tiniest step in the right direction.

"Less talking, more cuddling your boyfriend." He blushed severely at the wording and I smiling knowingly.

Boyfriend? Boyfriend?! I was never sure how you'd start a fire before that day, but I would have assumed it had something to do with calling me your boyfriend and letting the heat from my cheeks do the rest.

"You're not—” His fingers came down to my lips again and he cuddled close. Gosh, I'd never felt anything so...

"To new beginnings, Sidney." Although he'd never officially said it, we both knew that he and I were something more than friends right now. As for what that was... well, that was yet to be explored.

-------------

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[Baby Billy]

I'm still not sure where this is going but I know that Kris is doing so much to help Sidney with whatever trouble he had and Sidney,s parents are total jerks in every thing they have done so far.

[Wannatripbaby]

Such good stuff. Sometimes you just need someone to tell your brain to shut up. ?

Grammar Patrol

14 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said:

. If it keeps happening... if the put me back there..."

*they

14 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said:

and he quietened down a little,

*quieted

[Sophie ♥]

On 6/3/2020 at 11:07 AM, Wannatripbaby said:

Grammar Patrol

Fixed!

Sorry for the lack of posts.  Busy week.

[Sophie ♥]

Chapter 17

I woke up early the next morning. It didn't surprise me. Even with all that happened, we'd gone to bed fairly early. The sun wasn't out but the room was well lit. I blew the candles out. They were almost dead. I'd have to change them before the next night.

Kris was still asleep, or so far as I knew. He hadn't stirred. He never did, though. His eye was a lot worse than the day before. I felt sick at the sight. My fault. He needed to learn what a danger I was. I slipped my boots on my feet. I didn't feel clean today. This place didn't feel clean. I'd have to wash up again.

"Going somewhere?" My words came with closed eyes, the way they tended to whenever Sidney awoke; despite all his best efforts to not disturb me from my slumber. I was a light sleeper.

“Or is it the floor?" It was the level of understanding I had for the boy that made him most endeared by me, I bet.

"Floor..." My words were soft. I'd slept in my t-shirt. I put my coat on next, my jeans still on from the day before. Would wash those, too. And the sheets, again. And the bed. I wasn't anxious, though. Not yet. Maybe I was still too sleepy to be anxious. It would come though, I was sure. After yesterday.

"I'll help you clean.” My words were matter-of-factly and without any sense of annoyance or distaste - truly, I enjoyed helping the boy resolve his obstacles.

"You know, now that we're dating, we could shower together. I never thought I'd see the appeal in cleaning someone else's body, but I think I'd enjoy that."

I didn't say anything for a moment. But it needed to be said. It needed to get out there.

"We aren't dating." I didn't wait around to be refuted again, though. I climbed up off the side of the bed and quickly said, "I'm going to shower." And with a grab of my towel, using the sleeve to open the door, I left. He didn't have time to get a word out. It was better that way.

I washed my clothes in the shower. I just wanted to be clean. But what that meant was I had to walk back to the cabin with just the towel around me. It terrified me, honestly. But of course, I had my boots on. I had the wet clothes in one hand, doing my best to precariously balance them while holding the towel up with the other.
 

By the time the boy got back to the cabin, clad only in a towel and his boots, I'd cleaned almost the entire floor to his exact standards - it was a blessing that his showers took as long as they did. And I knew he'd be able to tell, too. He could always tell, even with a glance, when something was clean enough for him and when something wasn't. I looked up with a smile, my knuckles raw a little from where I'd used the coarse scrubbing brush to clean them - a necessity to use clean hands when cleaning; or so I'd been told.

"How was your shower, peach?"

I blinked at the boy on his hands and knees and the still-wet wooden floor of the cabin.

"You cleaned the floors...?"

He nodded and I stepped in cautiously, taking my feet out of my boots before starting to hang the clothes on the line. I'd cleaned it yesterday - it would be okay for now.

"Thanks... about the floors..." Why was he being so sweet? I mean, I liked that he was, but...

"Anytime. I was hoping to get more done, but it's not like cutting corners is something that's going to have any positive outcome. Better to do it right, even if it takes a while." I stood up and showed the boy my hands so he'd know they were clean, and then took one of his in mine.

"I wanna talk. About us."

I took my hand out of his, walking past him and using the edge of the towel to open my trunk. I'd cycled through all the clothes I had by now, but I made sure to wash them periodically.

"There is no us." I took a pair of underwear out of the chest first, then a t-shirt and my pajama pants. I had another pair of jeans but the pajamas were more recently cleaned.

"I get that you're afraid. I get that you think that you're too obtuse for anybody to invest time into. That you're a burden and all that stuff - I get it. But you like me. And I like you, too." It was only a brief re-telling of last nights statements, but I felt as though he could use a reminder. He looked at me with a little frown.

"Nod your head, Sidney."

I nodded my head. Damnit. Why did I do that?! Whatever. It didn't mean anything. None of this did. Fleeting fancies. Just two boys who are lonely. Boys. And I'm not even gay. Maybe this was a joke. But people don't clean floors for a joke.

"I gotta change... turn around, please..."

"You dreamt about kissing me.  You mumble in your sleep.” I smirked as I turned around and gave him a modicum of privacy. I didn't really know much what to make of my attraction to this boy; at first it had been purely emotional, but I'd had some pretty wonderful dreams myself and they'd definitely highlighted a certain degree of physical appeal.

I hoped that by the time my shirt and pajamas were on that my blush had settled down. He wasn't lying. I hadn't known I mumbled, though - that was new information. I finally turned around and crossed my arms over my chest. I knew it was a defensive posture. It would keep him from getting too close, though.

"People have dreams all the time. It's normal."

"I bet you're blushing, too. I can hear it in your words. It's really attractive, you know. It's weird, a bit; discovering things I'm attracted to for the first time. All I can think about is how you're singly the most beautiful person alive." It wasn't like me to gush like that, not so openly. I was more subtle. But then, I was trying to make him blush more. Blushing was the most honest form of smile.

I didn't have words. There was nothing I could say against that. Nothing I could do to refute. I was flattered. And I was dizzy. And I was anxious and blushing and happy and sad. Everything at once. I finally swallowed and looked down to my feet. Bare feet. I should put socks on. I did that next.

"I'm going to... clean a bit. Could you get breakfast? I don't want to change out of my pajamas..."

"The floor's done. I filled the red bucket fresh when I filled the blue, and I only used the blue so you can use the red." We'd appropriated ourselves a few item to make our lifestyle a little bit more manageable since we'd arrived, and although he wasn't a fan of using someone else’s equipment, Sidney did see the benefit.

"I'll shower, then get us some food." He'd be okay on his own; especially here. He usually hurt himself most doing the floors; the other surfaces didn't pose so much risk.

I wasn't used to thinking about something else while I was cleaning. So an hour later when Kris returned to our cabin and I was still washing the bed frame, I snapped back to reality with a bit of confusion. A whole hour and I'd barely gotten anything done. Ugh. This boy.

With precise care in the kitchen tent, I'd platted up two servings of food - eggs and bacon on toast, with hash brown and mustard - and wrapped each in two brown paper bags; one from each end, overlapping, so as not to contaminate the food. I set the two parcels down on our table and adjusted my towel; not having gotten dressed since my shower preceding the breakfast pickup.

“You should share what's on your mind."

"Nothing's on my mind." I still had one of the posts of the bunk bed to do, but I put the brush down and made my way over to the little table. I didn't sit. I was clean. The seat was not. Nor was the table, so I made sure not to touch it as I got my food out. Food was always tricky with me. I never ate very well with pre-made food, though I'd been able to a few times in the past. Today, however, was not one of those days. I played with my eggs with a plastic fork - packaged - and didn't even move to bring the food to my mouth.

I smirked and tugged a granola bar out from down the side of my towel and tossed it to the boy. Wrapped food made in a factory usually did okay - they tended to be sterile when packaged and those words were music to Sidney’s ears.

"I'll get rid of the hot food once I get dressed. I figured it'd be too much; but never hurts to try, right?" He was still so contemplative, so withdrawn, and I wondered if any other person would be so depressed to know someone was interested in them.

I used the towel, hanging on the wire, to open the granola bar and the sleeve of my jacket to hold it while I ate. My second jacket. I had three.

"I appreciate the gesture anyway. I'm just picky." That wasn't even the half of it.

"I know. Too many variables. Was the food kept at proper temperatures when being transported; did everybody involved maintain good levels of hygiene; has it been touched by bare skin at all during the process. And that's not even taking into account the variables once it's on the plate; weather and pollen and the effects of hot food rapidly cooling to room temperature." He looked at me with his mouth only slightly open; an absolute look of bewilderment.

"See? I get it. I get you."

"I like pasta..." I didn't look at him while I said it - I'd migrated back to the bunk bed, starting again to wash the top, though no one ever went up there anyway. I'd have to do the underside too. All 'just in case' stuff.

"Boiling water kills germs. I thought it was the best way to wash my hands when I was eleven. It's not."

"You know when I was at breakfast, one of the facilitators said they'd provide water purification tablets for anyone who wanted to stay out for a few nights in the woods. You drop one tablet into the water and it purifies it entirely, and then another one to get rid of the rancid taste. But I mean, could be good for getting really pure water for cleaning. Apparently it’s as good as boiling." My towel dropped to the floor as I ferreted about for my clothes for the day - I didn't think much of a need for modesty; Sidney was looking away anyway.

I didn't talk again until Kris was dressed. Focus on cleaning. Scrub scrub scrub. By the time he wasn't shuffling around anymore, I looked up to find him fully clothed. Okay.

"Um. I don't know. I'd probably have to learn the science before I drank any of that." I wasn't sure how tablets would make water less gross. If anything, it sounded more gross.

"I don't know much about it. What's next on the cleaning agenda?" I picked up the food and deposited it outside out cabin door to take to the trash later; but it was out of sight and therefore out of mind; mercifully.

"Table. Chairs. Then I'll do the walls and the ceiling." I only had one brush. Who would have thought I'd need more than one brush? But I didn't want Kris helping me anyway. This was something I did alone for multiple reasons, and though he'd bypassed most of them, he didn't bypass the distraction I needed.

"You don't have to wait around, you know. I might be a while."

"Okay. I'm going to go pick some berries." My smile was the same as ever, despite the swelling around my eye. I knew he liked the berries, and I knew that being able to eat something I got for him was a big deal - even if I had to boil and chill them first.

"I'll be a few hours, so you can get everything done that you want to get done and then when I get back you can cuddle up to me on the bed and I'll read to you." It was the first time I'd suggested it - but in my dreams of last night it was something very regular.

I didn't say no, but I didn't say yes either. One thing I learned was that not agreeing was very different to disagreeing. Especially when it came to a mute. So I let Kris leave knowing full well his 'story time' idea wasn't something that would be realized. Then I focused on cleaning. Really focused on cleaning - no distractions. It was any other day. No different than yesterday.

-------------

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[Sophie ♥]

Chapter 18

"Hey Kris, how's the wife?"

I rolled my eyes dismissively, but couldn't help the smile. I didn't know if wife was a term I'd have used, but the implication that we were dating was something that made me pretty happy now. And I liked being happy.

"Oh, go smear peanut butter on your balls and look for a squirrel. Seriously. It's getting old as fuck." And I didn't stop. It would be stupid to give him the time of day and I knew it pissed him off more to be ignored.

"You know this place is supposed to make men out of us, Kris. Not buttfucking little homos."

It was a shout that I barely heard anyway, but it was something that I thought a hell of a lot about while I was picking berries. Sex. Sex with a boy. Sex with Sidney. Sex had a perk that kissing didn't - it had protection. And though the concept wasn't my first thought of the morning, the logistics played in my head for most of the time I was out picking berries.

*     *     *     *     *

"Clean."

It was the first word I'd said once Kris came back in the door. It had been clean for a few hours, actually, and the sun was starting to fall. Dinner would be soon. I'd spent a lot of my leftover time thinking. About him. About me. About the idea of us being an us. And I'd decided. I wouldn't have any more of it. I wouldn't play those games. I wouldn't let him trick me into cuddling. We were friends.

The berries were in an air-tight container, having been picked, boiled, bathed in chilled water, drained and sealed. It was a process; but I knew he'd enjoy them. I showered and cleaned my hands after preparing the berries, and came into the cabin wearing nothing but shoes and a towel. I slipped out of my shoes so as to not sully the newly washed floor.

I had so many reasons that outweighed just "wanting to be together", which was all Kris held onto. So when he came back into the room, I decided to be assertive. Before he could say a word, before he could hang his towel up, I interjected.

"We're not going to be together. And you can push all you want but I'm never giving in and it'll always be this hard so stop."

I sat down on the edge of the bed and nodded my head.

"Tell me everything. All your concerns, all your worries about why we shouldn't be together. Real ones. I'm not looking to refute, just to listen. I know you're worried you're going to hold me back, but I promise you that won't be the case. And I've never lied to you, never been dishonest. So you should take my promise very strongly." It seemed to catch him off- guard that I wanted to listen, that I wasn't going straight into shutting him up, or arguing.

"...okay..." I hadn't been expecting that. I climbed up from the bed, pacing to the other side of the room. I'd changed into my pajamas after I finished cleaning. I always thought better in clean clothes.

"Well. For starters. I don’t like guys. I think that should be included. And I'm already a mess, so I don't think I can take care of you. And don't give me crap about me not needing to - relationships go both ways. And we can't ever... do anything. No kissing. No anything. And you're a seventeen year old boy - you should be doing those things. Also, I don't want to distract you. You have a life. I'm a big distraction. I'm a lot of work. I just want you to live normally. Not like me. I don't wish that on anyone. And it's just... not gonna happen. It's not real. We're lonely. I haven't ever had someone to talk to. You only have one friend here. That's all this is. Oh! And we live in different states!"

My head bobbed thoughtfully as I listened, and waited for the boy to eventually finish before starting my conclusion.

"What if I told you that since meeting you, I've actually started to feel... alive. As though only two cylinders of my engine were firing before and now all six are. And that for the first time, I feel like there's a point and purpose to my life? I was such a selfish, lazy, unmotivated slob back home, you know that? And now I'm clean, and focused and driven and I have this really good eye for detail. In the few weeks we've known each other, you've made me such a better person. Can you imagine who I'll be in six months time?" He was quiet for a moment - I knew a rebuttal was ready to happen and so I didn't give it a chance to.

"What are you afraid of?" It was the simple crux of the matter - Sidney was ruled so significantly by his fears and this was another one that threatened to move in. I resolved not to let it happen. I was going to mitigate this fear, redirect it, quell it and fade it out of his mind. But it would take time and a lot of hard work, and without his help there was no way I could do it. There was a crucial caveat, though. He wanted to help.

"It... doesn't work." I didn't say more than that. I felt dizzy. I turned away from Kris and looked out the window. We still had to go to dinner, and the sun was nearing the horizon. Boys were a long way down the hill, either going to or leaving the food cabin. It was hard to tell. But I suddenly had the urge to go. I slipped my shoes on, which were by the door, and zipped my coat up despite the heat of the summer.

The door closed, and I decided to let him go. It was stupid of me, admittedly. The boys out there could've been assholes, anything could have happened. But he wanted to be away from me and I knew better than to crowd him. So I sat on our bed, and I pulled out my notebook and a pencil. '#1. We make each other smile.'. I decided that until the time he came back, I'd write down reasons. One to a line. Reasons we should be together. He'd disregard it, I knew, but eventually when he thought I wasn't looking, he'd read it.

I waited outside the door for a moment but Kris didn't follow me. I sighed and looked in through the window. I could see him moving. So I turned on my heel and went down the little hill toward the food cabin, the large tent in front open and ready to give free things. I put my hands in my coat the way I always did and frowned. Eating would be... difficult. But I had to do something. I grabbed a granola bar and a package of chips - not even good ones - and sat down at one of the tables. I was still in my pajama pants. Contaminated.

"Well, look who it is." The boy laughed at his two friend as he sat down across the table, opposite from Sidney. "Where's your husband, Sid? Lovers quarrel?"

"Oh, trouble in paradise?"

"Come on guys, it must be hard for Sid. I mean, we all know Kris is a faggot; that's why he got sent here. I bet he just forced himself on Sid, and the little bitch can't even say no."

"Yeah, I duuno - Kris creeps me out. Like, who spends that much time shut in a room with someone who doesn't talk? What's he do? Talk to himself eighteen hours a day?"

"Do yourself a favor, Sid; Kris is a loser. You're a freak, too, but it's gotta suck for you to not even be able to tell him to fuck off."

The three of them laughed and got up from the table, looking around for some food.

I sighed and put my head down on the table. Not on the table, of course. But near the table. I looked down in my lap, quietly thinking. This wasn't supposed to be this way. I was supposed to sit in a cabin for three months and go home. What was happening here? It wasn't until the sun started to set that I thought it best to hurry back to the cabin. I couldn't be stuck outside in the dark - I knew better.

-------------

Thank you for reading.  Like & Comment!  Consider supporting us on Patreon!  

[Baby Billy]

well i'm still totally confused about what Kris really wants with Sidney.  I hope he doesn't end up pushing Sidney over the edge he is so fragile and young. 

[Wannatripbaby]

On 6/5/2020 at 7:36 AM, Sophie ♥ said:

Sorry for the lack of posts.  Busy week.

It's okay. I've been busy too. Kinda glad I was only 2 chapters behind. ? I'll try to read the second one later. 

On 6/5/2020 at 7:58 AM, Sophie ♥ said:

Boiling water kills germs. I thought it was the best way to wash my hands when I was eleven. It's not."

Big ooof. ??

[Wannatripbaby]

On 6/5/2020 at 8:36 PM, Sophie ♥ said:

Chapter 18

 

On 6/5/2020 at 8:36 PM, Sophie ♥ said:

And I'd decided. I wouldn't have any more of it. I wouldn't play those games.

Press X to doubt. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX ?

Grammar Patrol

On 6/5/2020 at 8:36 PM, Sophie ♥ said:

I showered and cleaned my hand my hands after preparing the berries,

 

[Sophie ♥]

Chapter 19

By the time Sidney returned to the cabin, I was laying down - on the top bunk, as per his request. I'd been asleep when he arrived, but the door woke me up. I didn't stir, though. On the bottom bunk was the notepad - six and a half pages of reasons to be together. And the very last one, if he made it so far, read; 'I like who I am when I'm with you. And I think for the first time in your whole life, you like who you are, too.'

I only read through half of the first page before I closed the notebook and put it on the floor by my bed. So we really weren't sleeping together, huh? And he wasn't going to give this up. I felt so unhappy in that moment. But I couldn't go back on my deal. I couldn't act like it was okay, us being together, no matter how many reasons he had. So I lit my candles - new ones for today - and shut my eyes, hoping sleep would take me.

He was only in bed with his eyes closed for a few minutes before I crawled down to his bed and cuddled up in my usual position. He opened his mouth to protest, but I put my finger to his lips and pressed my body as closed to his and I could manage; my leg slipping beneath his blanket and between his legs for the first time. It was a huge step, and I didn't know how he'd take it - but I had a good feeling.

“Shh. Close your eyes."

I only had a glimpse of Kris' face before my eyes closed again. He was lying next to me. But he'd chosen quite the opposite. Unless...

"Does this mean..."

His finger was still to my lips as I spoke and it felt very... wrong. Like I'd done something disobedient. I bit my lip and tried to wiggle into a position less awkward, but he didn't let me move. I didn't understand...

My leg beneath his blanket, in his special space; slipped higher between his legs until the top of my thigh gently brushed against his crotch—

I didn't know what happened. I cried. Really cried. Like a sobbing child. Kris was standing two feet away, hesitance all over his face. He didn't dare step closer. I hugged my knees. My nails clung to my pajama pants, even though they'd been outside. I hadn't changed. My back was to the two walls furthest from the bunk beds and my butt was in the corner of the floor. Why was I crying? I only remembered...

It hadn't gone well... not the way I'd planned. Not the way I'd hoped. And every time I tried to get closer, he'd scream and sob, and where I stood was as close as I could get. I stayed calm, level; though my eyes showed my worry and stress.

"Sidney... come on, it's just me." His eyes darted away, and then for the first time since it started, he focused on me. "Sidney? Hey...? You okay?"

I couldn't stop crying. I wasn't even sure why. I just couldn't stop. I shook my head over and over, and upon realizing I was lucid, Kris hurried over and put his arms around me. What the hell was that?! I'd blacked out before. Any moments of high stress tended to escape my memory, like the night Kris had to hold me down. But this felt... different...

It took an hour for me to calm down. I wasn't sure why, either. Thing about crying is, when you realize you're doing it, it's pretty easy to stop. But not this. It went on and on.  I sat quietly, my knees to my chest. I was smart enough to take my hands off my pants. That anxiety didn't come back yet, though. I felt so... terrible... just terrible.

"I just wanted to make you feel good. You're entire life is based around being touched being a bad thing... I wanted to give you a positive experience to help balance it." He wasn't talking, though, and I wasn't sure if it was that he wasn't talking to me or if he was just too worn out to talk anymore. I didn't know. I wouldn't know, not until he spoke or didn't. I smiled, though, and sat with my around around him; the boy half in my lap.

I felt broken. Like something in me snapped, just like it did when I was little. Like another thing had broken that hadn't broken before. I couldn't put my finger on it, though. I kept my head on Kris' shoulder and did my best to talk. I didn't talk, though. Maybe I didn't know what to say. Or maybe it was like that state when you're so tired and you think you talk and you actually don't talk. Or maybe I just couldn't talk...

“You’ll make it through this." I didn't really know how, yet. But I knew that he'd made it through everything in his life so far, and having me here could only help share that burden. My hand continued to play through his hair and my other pressed to his cheek, holding him against my shoulder tenderly. My thumb - on the clean hand - brushed against his lips idly; the surface of such were chipped and cracked from his crying fit.

I sat there for what seemed like an eternity. I wasn't sure when, exactly, but Kris helped me up off the ground and led me over to the bed. I winced as I sat down. I felt so uneasy. I felt scared again. Kris tried to reassure me, though, and I put my head down on the pillow, facing away from the candles and at the boy beside me. I gave him a little smile. It was too quiet.

It had been a mistake, but it was a mistake I could learn from. So I was glad that I knew, I just wish I hadn't caused him such pain.

"You didn't try to hurt yourself this time. I think knowing that might help you." It was a relief to me, too - I'd been ready to keep his arms at bay, but thankfully it hadn't happened. It was quiet for a moment more - our eyes fixed on one another. And when I spoke, it was a whisper.

"...I think I'm falling for you, Sidney. And I'm scared. Not scared of being with you... scared you won't let me."

I nodded my head. It seemed I couldn't talk. Would that last? No. It couldn't. It was Kris. But with all the stress the past two days, maybe... it's better. I closed my eyes and took a little breath, opening them again and nodded my head once more. He wouldn't understand. But he should know. I wasn't going to let him.

All I offered him in return was a smile - I wasn't as good at conveying myself wordlessly as he was - but I wanted him to know that I wouldn't give up.

"Do you think you're bad for me?" Those words were spoken with my eyes on him, my arms draped over his body, our breaths collectively exhaling into the same space.

I nodded my head, but Kris didn't waver, like he'd expected it. He probably did, too. I wished he'd just understand. But then he asked, "Do you think I'm bad for you?" And I didn't have a response. I bit my lip and looked down, away from his eyes. It was always so difficult to hold his stare.  I decided, in the end, to shrug my shoulders.

"Do you like yourself more when we're together?" It was a much more ambiguous question than the last; it could be taken a great many different ways; but I knew he'd understand the point I was trying to get across. If he didn't think I was bad for him, and he liked who he was with me around - it would be clear that the only reason he'd not want to be with me would be that he felt like he was bad for me. And I could work on that.

Again, I shrugged my shoulders. I liked having someone to talk to, but then again, that didn't really make me like myself more. Truthfully, I wasn't any different. If anything, I might like myself less just because I was more aware of my 'quirks'. I didn't know. It was too confusing. All of this was. He was. Why did he have to be so confusing?

My hand found his cheek and I directed his gaze to mine, smiling that cheeky smile at the edges of my lips that I flashed to him and only him.

"It's the black eye. Isn't it? It's that I get in fights to protect you. It's because you think it's unfair... because I have no quirks at all, and you have so many." Statement. Not question. Assessment, determination. Conclusion. All in one.

I nodded. Granted, that wasn't all 'it' was, but it was definitely part of 'it'. He gave up more than I did. He changed more than I did. He surrendered more than I did. That bothered me, for sure. And like I'd already established - I barely changed at all. And then I thought of something. I didn't think I'd be able to say it, but the words tumbled out anyway, smaller and weaker than ever before.

I'd made up my mind. My voice was still rough, still uneven, still quiet. "You changed so much for me. Major things. Big things. I'm still me. Same me. And I don't like it. So... when I get over my cleaning stuff, we can date. When I show you that I can change too. For us." And until then, we'd wait. I could wait.

I thought about the goal... about trying to overcome something he'd been a slave to for all his life. I didn't have confidence, but I did have hope. And maybe that was something.

"Tell me that's the only requirement. That when we meet that, there won't be another after that. Admit to me that you like boys.”

I frowned. I didn't like this game. We both knew I wouldn't get over my cleanliness. If I could have, I would of years ago. I wouldn't have let it ruin so much of me. I wouldn't have let it give me anxiety problems. I wouldn't have let it hurt me the way it had. But if it ever went away, just that one problem, and made things easier... then yeah. I'd date him.

“If I ever stop obsessing over having things clean, I'll date a boy."

I really didn't know what was going to happen from here... how I could help him with his prison. How I could free him. I was sure it wasn't something curable, in fact. But I'd try.

"Good."

-------------

Thank you for reading.  Like & Comment!  Consider supporting us on Patreon!  

[practicedprogrammer]

I almost didn't read this, but I'm really glad I decided to give it a chance, as I've really enjoyed it so far. I haven't seen the color coding for different perspectives like this before, and though it took a little getting used to at first, it's actually really nice, especially since it lets there be a lot more back and forth between Sidney's Kris' perspectives without it being confusing.

One nit-pick, this line seems like it was written from Sidney's perspective, but seems to be colored like it was one of the three who left (if it was from their perspective I'd think it would have have been "the three of us")

On 6/6/2020 at 12:36 AM, Sophie ♥ said:

Chapter 18

...

The three of them laughed and got up from the table, looking around for some food.

...

Edited June 8, 2020 by practicedprogrammer
Posted too soon

[Baby Billy]

Well I'm still confused and don't want to see Kris push Sidney into something he doesn't want but Kris is helping him more then the doctors ever have before.  

[Baby Billy]

I started reading this because of you, it reminds me of another story you wrote that you said at the beginning it was not a diaper story.  I think your wrote is great even without the baby element in them.  If anyone wants to know the other story look up Anna and Lottie 

[Sophie ♥]

3 hours ago, practicedprogrammer said:

I almost didn't read this, but I'm really glad I decided to give it a chance, as I've really enjoyed it so far. I haven't seen the color coding for different perspectives like this before, and though it took a little getting used to at first, it's actually really nice, especially since it lets there be a lot more back and forth between Sidney's Kris' perspectives without it being confusing.

Thank you!  Pudding and I write a lot of stories in this sort of novella roleplay style, and colors do help a lot.  Without them, it's sometimes hard to figure out who is thinking what since we use perspectives in a weird way.

3 hours ago, practicedprogrammer said:

One nit-pick, this line seems like it was written from Sidney's perspective, but seems to be colored like it was one of the three who left (if it was from their perspective I'd think it would have have been "the three of us")

This is technically true.  The only weird thing is... we actually don't write side-characters in first person perspective. >_< In this story, Kris and Sidney are the only two characters you'll find in first person (I, me) and other characters - even when we write from their perspective - are third person (he, she, him, her).  Honestly this inconsistency is a bit esoteric.  It's just how we started writing and it's how we kept writing.  I'd love to move to another style one day, where we use third person all the way through.  Or first person for only one main character.  I don't know...

Anyway, you're right!  We're just weird.

3 hours ago, Baby Billy said:

Well I'm still confused and don't want to see Kris push Sidney into something he doesn't want but Kris is helping him more then the doctors ever have before.  

All in good time.   But honestly, so far Kris hasn't pushed Sidney at all really, not with his 'quirks'.  Just sometimes emotionally.

55 minutes ago, Baby Billy said:

I started reading this because of you, it reminds me of another story you wrote that you said at the beginning it was not a diaper story.  I think your wrote is great even without the baby element in them.  If anyone wants to know the other story look up Anna and Lottie 

THANK YOU! >////< I was honestly so hesitant to post both Anna. and Our Camp Days on DD because I thought no one would care.  Your comments and knowing you enjoyed them so much to remember the names really uplifts me! ❤️ Lottie doesn't have baby elements exactly, but it at least "fits the theme" of the website.

ANYWAY!  Thanks again everyone.  

[Wannatripbaby]

13 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said:

Chapter 19

Hmm... Now I'm wondering if Sydney's problems are related to some kind of sexual abuse from his childhood? Only time will tell I guess. 

[Sophie ♥]

Chapter 20

And that was how things were. We still cuddled at night. He still helped me wash up. We'd eat together. We'd visit the field a lot, the one where Kris would take me. But nothing changed. In my own time, I stayed down by the showers, carefully stepping out barefoot into the dirt and jumping back into the tile. I waited. Then washed. Then tried again. I never made it longer than ten seconds, always fearing panic attacks. Fearing Kris finding out. I didn't want him to know I cared so much. The days ticked by. His eye healed. The asshole boys left us alone most of the time, and when they didn't, it was the same routine. It was a boring summer. I made it through my books by the second month and gave them to Kris. I never kept books. They weren't cleaning friendly. I didn't count days. But one day, people were packing. I was already packed - I lived out of my chest, after all, though now it was mostly empty without all the candles. I didn't mention it, though. Not to Kris. I didn't want to say goodbye.

I never gave up hope, not really, even as the summer stretched on. I longed for a library, for my phone - for some way to research what it was that gave Sidney his quirks. I wanted to understand it... if I could understand it, I could fix it. And I knew we both wanted that. It was an artificial goalpost to begin with - just a way for Sidney to show to himself that he was sacrificing something, overcoming something; the boy saw our relationship as inherently one-sided.

I guess I could understand that guilt could be powerful - and it could ruin anything beautiful. And soon, too soon, the end of the summer approached. We hadn't talked about it, even as people started to pack. Even as the first of the boys was picked up a little early. Talking about it would mean facing the inevitable deadline of our cohabitation, and I hated that.

"This is my phone number, my Facebook, my address and my email." I smiled, thoughtfully, as I slipped the piece of acid-washed paper into his hand - it was from his notepad, and I'd made sure to be immaculately clean when I wrote it down in graphite number two pencil. "You don't have to give me yours, if you're feeling scared of what it might mean if I'm still in your life. But god, Sidney... I want to be."

"Have you seen my blue pajamas?" I'd packed them. I knew I had. But I needed to change the subject. This wasn't something I could talk about. I couldn't tell him what I was thinking. He'd argue. Protest. Try to change my mind. But I wasn't changing it. The summer had been nice. Nice to have someone to talk to. Nice to have someone to hold me. But ultimately, I knew from the start, all this had to go away. And without me around, maybe he'd find someone really useful. It would get better for him. And for me... well, it wouldn't get worse.

"They're in your trunk. Under your red pajamas, and just above your windbreaker." He nodded softly, presuming the conversation to be over; but I smiled and continued the way that I did. "I can't have you walk out of my life, Sidney. I know it sounds weird, and stupid obsessive. And I get that, and I'm sorry.”

I kissed his cheek. He was clean. He was always clean. And he deserved that, at least. I held up the little piece of paper with his information.

"I'll call. If I get over this. Then I'll call. But I can't until then. Too hard." And I put the piece of paper in my pocket. It was all I could offer. A kiss on the cheek and a promise.

This would be goodbye. I knew it would be. And I'd hold onto the paper, but I'd never read it. I'd put it somewhere safe. And I'd never see Kris again. I'd never hear from him again. And this would just be another goodbye. A goodbye I could handle.

We wound up getting packed that day, and we spent the rest of it like any other. Together. There was always the sting of freshly-sliced onions tugging away at the back of my eyes, but I never let it reach critical mass. Not right now. Tomorrow came, though, tomorrow arrived with the two of us wound up in one-another's arms and the warmth of the morning sun kissed us both through the window. There wouldn't be the word goodbye. Just 'see you soon', the way we'd part when I went out to pick berries. And when my parents car wound up on the far end of the clearing, I looked the boy in the eyes with a smile. And I kissed his cheek.

"See you soon, Sidney.”

I wiped my cheek with my sleeve. I'd have to wash up again, but I didn't let my anxiety show. I liked it. The little kiss. The little symbol I'd always have, even after I cleaned it away. So for now, I could hide my anxiety. For him.

"See you soon, Kris."

But I didn't. He left and then me, two hours later. I was the last to go. Maybe it was a stand my parents were trying to make. I didn't know. I kept my jacket pulled around my hands as I climbed into the back seat of the car and my mother asked me, excitedly, "How was camp?". I didn't say anything. Her disappointment showed.

-------------

Thank you for reading.  Like & Comment!  Consider supporting us on Patreon! 

[Wannatripbaby]

That was beautiful! ???

But the ending was so sad! ??????

Why must your non-diaper stories end so sadly? ??????????

Grammar Patrol

2 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said:

And soon, too soon, the of the summer approached.

 

[Sophie ♥]

30 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Grammar Patrol

Fixed.

30 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Why must your non-diaper stories end so sadly? ??????????

 

Well, you'll be happy to know that this story has 31 chapters, not 20.   The end of camp is not the end of the story.