Brudda Voodu's Story

[Brudda Voodu]

Howdy I have been here a little bit but I figured I'd tell a little about myself to any who might be interested

I posted this before on DPF as Batman if anyone has seen this post there before. lol Since then I have since decided to scrap DPF, that place is a junkheap of problems

This is a brief history of my trials and tribulations in dealing with this diaper fetish buisness. As a little boy I recall that I had difficulty keeping the bed dry at night, though this was when I was very young (around the age of 5 or so) so this type of behaviour would not seem all that ab-normal. I remember having to wear diapers to bed and absolutly hating it. I hated wearingthem to bed and sometimes would wake in the night to take them off and throw them away. This got my folks angry due to the wet bed sheets and it made me hate them all the more. Once I stopped wetting the bed (I think a little after my fifth birthday) I remember that almost immediatly I was missing the feeling of wearing the diaper. From that moment on I have always had the desire to wear diapers. I dont really know what could have happened between the time that I hated them and the time I suddenly craved them. I have several memories that involve diapers and I wonder if they had anything to do with the development of my fetish. I remember during the winter I went to a friends house to play and I must have gotten dressed to play in the snow when I woke and was too excited about the snow to take off my diaper from the night before. When I took off my snowsuit suddenly the diaper was very visable under my long johns and I was riduculed by my friend for a bit. I am pretty sure we remained friends and I dont entirley recall what happened after other then being sent home by his mother to get changed. Anouther time I was at day care and I remember telling a day care worker I didnt want to wear a diaper and being forced to lay on the changing table to be diapered. I realise that last one is the stuff of fantasys around here but its not bull, I dont remember why I was forced (perhaps and accident or something) but it is in my memory regardless. After all this and after I had developed the diaper desires I recall being at a different day care and taking the diaper off a large plastic doll and putting it on over my clothes. I couldnt have been much older then 6 or so and I do recall being scolded for doing so. I dont think I had much diaper instances for ahwile but in my teens I was deeply troubled by this fetish and the constant compulsion to wear and wet a diaper. I feared being "found out" more then anything in the world, I think the idea of being mauled by a bear was more friendly to me then the concept of being discovered. As a result this caused me to be rather withdrawn and anti-social. The select group of friends I had made were other social misfits and we became involved with drugs and alcohol to make ourselves feel important or perhaps socially acceptable (in high school all the "cool" kids drink or smoke dope). I would make my own diapers at home out of trash bags and paper towel and masking tape. This got the job done but I was discovered by my snooping parents (not me but a used diaper. Suddenyl my greatest fears were coming true and iwas humiliated beyond belief. I hated myself for being so strange and I hated the fact that this strange compulsive desire would never stop. Due to some very negative reactions from my folks I left home for a bit and stayed with a close friend. Feeling very vulnerbal and feeling I owed him an explanation I told him my strange desires and the events the led to me leaving home. While visably shocked and a little disturbed he didnt really say much and he accepted me. To this day we are still close friends though the subject has yet to be brought up again. After a little while I went back home and much like my friend i was accepted and the subject has yet to surface again. I finsihed school and left my home to strike it out on my own. I found a good career and lived in places with many roomates to help pay the rent.I had to go many monthes without wearing and it caused mea good deal of depression and anxiety. I would someties save some money and get a hotel room for the night on a rare weekend and wear diapers there. All the while I considered myself a social out cast and a very disturbed individual (yes I knew about the net and all that but still it doesnt help one feel as a normal well adjusted person when its all secretive). I continued to drink heavily to deal with my inner frustrations on the subject and this was not making for a healthy mind. Eventually I met a girl and we fell in love with each other. Very nervously and drunkenly one night I resolved to tell her my darkest secret. I told her in bed all about my sahmefull secret and my history with it. I explained how it could not be helped and how it was a compulsion that many other feel and there is no cure and there is no good explanation of why. She much like my dearest friend had a look of shock and a little disturbance. Eventually after telling me she loved me regardless I convinced her to diaper me and even convinced her to wear one herself. As time went on both she and I grew more comfortable in exploring this diaper world. She has now become fully supporitve and undersdtanding of this fetish and while she does not have the desire to wear as I do she frequently does because she knows I t makes my happy. And finally for the first time in my life I feel not only comfortable with my fetish but also happy about it. What has caused me to feel isolated and disturbed for most of my life has become something that has brought my now wife and I closer together. She has allowed me to explore this side of my self with comfort and acceptance that before was done by compulsion and left me with feelings of guilt and self loathing. It has been a wild ride so far in this crazy diapered life of mine, its taken many twists and turns and makes me wonder what will come next. But I know for certain that I have found peace within myself and with my strange desires to wear and wet diapers. I owe this all to my wonderfull wife. Any way thanks for reading and I wonder if any of you have had similar experiences or feelings. I hope that all of you can find the inner peace that I have if you are riddled with guilt and self loathing due to this fetish.

Thanks Brudda Voodu

[beallucanb]

HI I'm sure there are others, I know you olny think it's you, especially when your young, that have these desires, but I am happy life is getting better.

For me it never worked out, I did the drinking and the drugs, but never fit in, and could not tell anyone about my fetish,and still don't tell anyone, so I am spending my life alone, with my fetish....

[Momma Rosie]

The enter button and paragraphs are your friend

[Brudda Voodu]

Heh sorry about that. I just copied and pasted the post and thats how it came out. As for any spelling or punctuation what can I say? English major I am not

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

Welcome Brudda Voodu!!! Seldom do I let Baby Rosie beat me to that comment. You can still edit your post to break it up a little.

Anyways, glad to have you with us and YES, I think many of us can relate to your story. I am so glad that you have found inner peace with this lifestyle at such a young age; I didn't until I was in my 40s. I too enjoy a very special bond with my fiancé as well due to this lifestyle. It's hard to put into words though, so I'll save that for another time.

I hope you decide to stay a while and let us get to know you and you us. I look forward to seeing you around the site.

[beallucanb]

Heh sorry about that. I just copied and pasted the post and thats how it came out. As for any spelling or punctuation what can I say? English major I am not

Don't worry about that, you did a good job, I understood everything, with no problems...