Finding a new home.

[elfowl]

My parents were dead,... they had been out at a party, late one night, then coming home they ran into somone, or someone ran into them, it wasn't really clear... apparently My Dad had been drunk, and the other driver was too... all three of them died on impact... no charges were pressed... but my whole world was shattered in an instant.

My name is Taylor Winchet.  I'm 17 years old, and all of a sudden... an orphan.

I cried for days... not knowing what else to do... cried while my relatives made funeral arrangements... cried at the funeral... and cried on their grave... 

No one in my family wanted to take me in... so it looked like the state was going to take me... Luckily my best friend, Kyle stepped in.  despite being in the same grade.  he's two years older than me.  At first I though he was joking when he offered to adopt me, but luckily he was true to his word, and I didn't have to go into state foster care.  He even lived pretty close to my parents' old apartment so I didn't have to move far.

That's how I showed up to his front door with two suitcases filled with everything I owned.  I knocked on the door, forcing a smile, and telling myself that everything would be alright.  We were just going to be hanging out, two bros, just relaxing, more like roommates, though I was sure he would tease me forever about technicaly being my dad.  I chuckle to myself at the image that puts in my head.

[jmg1217]

Kyle smiled as he opened the door. He looked down at his much smaller friend “hey there budddy, I’m so glad you’re here, I know this is hard but everything will be ok and we will have so much fun living together.” He pulled the smaller boy into his arms in a tight hug. Once he released the boy he took his bags “come in kiddo, just leave your shoes by the door”

[elfowl]

I hug Kyle hard, I've always been a little bit touchy-feelly, and that's true now more than ever. I"m glad to be here too Kyle.  I chuckle a bit at Kyle calling me 'kiddo'  "You know I'm only two years younger than you!"  This almost seemed to be a constant thing with Kyle, always emphasizing how he's older than me.  I kick off my shoes , putting them by his, and lug my suitcases inside. 

"Where should I put these?"  I ask, motioning to the large pieces of luggage, "and what's the first order of business?  Video games or pizza?"  I'm doing my best to try to put all my emotions aside, and just be carefree for a little bit... just do anything but think about my parents.

[jmg1217]

Kyle smiled “well we only have two bedrooms kiddo, ones mine and the other is yours... he took both bags and dropped them in the room “why don’t you unpack buddy and I’ll order the food then we can talk about rules and stuff.” He ruffled the boys hair before leaving the room

[elfowl]

"Sure man, sounds good"  I reply.  Rules?  I think to myself,  Well I guess it only makes sense this is his place, and he's probably got a few things he doesn't want me to do.  probably stuff like "clean up after yourself"  "no hookers" and such

While I ponder, I open up the suitcases, and start unpacking, putting folded clothes, in the dresser, hangups in the closet, and putting the few personal possessions on the small shelves.  It takes a while to unpack, not helping the matter is one or two mementos that end up reminding me of my parents, a signed baseball from the time my dad took me to a game.  I hate baseball, but dad had loved it.  The stuffed salamander my mom had made for me.  Definately something I'd need to hide from Kyle.  Seeing these, I had to fight to keep myself from crying.  pausing for a bit to recompose myself, I wipe my eyes, force on a smile, and walk out to find Kyle.

[jmg1217]

Kyle was in the livingroom on the sofa when he saw Taylor me smiled and patted the cushion next to him, come take a seat buddy, we have a lot to talk about”

[elfowl]

I walk over to the sofa and sit down next to Kyle.  "What's up?"

[jmg1217]

Kyle rubbed the boys back  in a reassuring way “ok buddy look, I know this is all kind of new and scary for you but I promise everything will be ok and if it makes you feel better, I’m kind of scared too. After all I’ve never been a dad before”

[elfowl]

I bust out laughing, and push Kyles hand off of my back.  "Fuck off man"  I say in a joking manner.  "Yeah you're legally my dad but it's not like you'll be raising me, it's only for like a year or so, I can take care of myself anyways."  I punch him lightly in the arm, in the spirit of the two of us just joking around.  "It's not like I'm going to start calling you 'Daddy' or anything dude."

[jmg1217]

Kyle got totally serious “actually sweetheart I’m not kidding, I am legally your guardian and I take that responsibility  very seriously. This isn’t a joke and we shouldn’t think of it as one. Like or not our relationship has changed and I will be raising your from now on, at least until you turn 18. Because of all this I’m not comfortable with you using my first name anymore I deserve a title and since you already had a dad I think it does make the most sense for you to call me daddy”

[elfowl]

I blink, and stare at Kyle in confusion for a moment, not really understanding what's happening.  "Kyle... what the fuck?  I'm... you're...  You just adopted me so I wouldn't have to go live in some shitty state-run foster home right?  You're not my Dad.  This isn't funny.  I can take care of myself, and besides you're only two years older than me, and look at you, you moved away from your parents as soon as you could for the independence.  You're really gonna tell me that you think a seventeen year old needs a Daddy?"

[jmg1217]

Kyle took the boys hand “sweetheart stop panicking and listen to me, no two kids are the same. When I was your age I was very mature and so much bigger then you. Remember I know you and I’m not saying every 17 year old needs a daddy but I know mine does you are not ready to a grown up in fact I’ve thought for a while you needed more structure not less and that’s what I’m going to give you .And my parents live right next door in the main house. They’ve agreed to babysit for you and what not when need be”

[elfowl]

I stand up, and  take a few steps back from the couch, taking a wide stance, ready to run.  "Kyle."  I have to fight myself to keep from shouting, my heart is pounding like a drum.  My hands are clenched in fists, my arms trembling  "This is not fucking funny.  You got me...  okay?  Ha ha. You're legaly my dad.  You're older than me.  I get it.  Fucking knock it off.  I'm not in the mood.  I'm seventeen Kyle... nearly an adult.  I don't need a fucking babysitter.  My Mom and Dad, my real Mom and Dad just died...  You're not going to replace them with yours... So stop joking around... it's not.... fucking.... funny..."  with my last few words, tears cloud my vision, and I feel like I'm on the verge of falling over, an inch away from sobbing.

[jmg1217]

Kyle reached out and grabbed the boys wrist pulling him back toward him “sweetheart just calm down” he pulled squirming boy onto his lap “no one is trying to replace your parents especially not mine, if anything they’d be more like grand parents to you anyway and I don’t want to replace anyone but you need care and love just like every other child and I’m here to take care of you now. Like it or not you’re my little boy and I’m your daddy”

[elfowl]

I'm ready to make a break for the door at any moment, but my tear filled eyes don't see Kyle reaching towards me until it's too late.  I try to evade his hand, but he grabs my wrist, and quickly pulls me towards him.  Kyle's a good bit bigger than me, and definitely a lot stronger. 

He holds me on his lap, and I try to wriggle out of his grasp, kicking and squirming as hard as I can.  "FUCK OFF!"  I shout.  "I'M NOT YOUR 'SWEETHEART'! YOU'RE NOT MY FUCKING 'DADDY'!"  Kyle manages to hold me in his lap, and the massive wave of rage inside of me breaks against the rocks of his calm, gentle presence.  

"I'm not... your... 'little boy'."  I state weakly, nearly sobbing...  "You're not... you're not..."  I can't fight it anymore, and I break down in tears, wailing and bawling my eyes out.  Despite myself, I find myself wrapping my arms around Kyle, and putting my face on his shoulder, crying my eyes out into it.

[jmg1217]

Kyle pulls his boy close rocking him and rubbing his back “ok baby, everything is ok. It’s ok Daddy’s here my love daddy has you baby” kyle waited while his little boy calmed down

[elfowl]

being held in Kyle's arms, is actually strangely comforting, I'm upset, but I'm not afraid.  Kyle's got me, and his gentle rocking slowly calms me down. I cry and I cry until I just can't cry anymore, finally I look up at Kyle and with a quavering voice ask.  "Kyle, what's going on?  Why are you doing this?"

[jmg1217]

Kyle placed a kiss on Taylor’s forehead “sweetheart I’m doing this because I care about you and because the law says it’s my job now and because I want to care for you. That’s why and that’s Daddy to you sweetheart”

[elfowl]

"Kyle,"  I say, very intentionally.  "Nothing in the law says you have to make me call you Daddy.  And nothing says you have to treat me like a little boy.  Why can't we just be Kyle and Taylor?  What would be wrong with that?  What's gotten into you man?"

I hate that he's doing this... and I hate how nice it feels to be held in his arms... even the kiss on the forehead was nice...

[jmg1217]

“I’m sorry but everything is different now Tay, I’m not your friend anymore I’m your parent and I want you to be happy and feel loved but my job is too keep you safe and be a father to you. And I want you to call me Daddy out of respect and as an acknowledgment of our new relationship. It’s not respectful for a child to call thier parents by thier first name”

[elfowl]

I sigh... defeated... this whole thing is stupid.  "Fine... 'Daddy'  What makes you think I need a daddy so much anyways?  Huh?"  I lay in his arms, it's pointless fighting against him.  he's too strong for me to do anything.

[jmg1217]

Kyle tightened his hold “there my good boy, thank you baby.  I think we can both agree that you still have some growing up to do and that you need guidance and especially after what’s happened to you, I just want to take care of you, ok sweetheart”

[elfowl]

"No..." my voice sounds weak,  it just feels so good in Kyle's arms, being held close to him.  "I don't think we can agree on that...  Why do you say that?  I'm plenty grown up."  Despite myself, I relax in his arms, snuggling into his chest a little

[jmg1217]

“Sweetheart don’t forget, I know you, I know all of your strengths and weaknesses and I love you because of them by I know that you are nowhere near ready to be a grownup. But you do t have to because you have Daddy and I’ll take care of everything”

[elfowl]

In a moment of weakness, with everything that's happened, and how small and alone I'm feeling... it's just so easy to give in.  I hate what's going on.  I hate whatever it is that's replaced Kyle...  I want to fight it, but I just feel so overwhelmed... it's just so easy to give up.  "Okay Daddy... I'll trust you... just make everything better... okay?"