complete Breaking the Girl: A Novel

[Wannatripbaby]

36 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

Jess is emotionally destroyed by her mistake.  As much fun as spanking is, actually punishing her for this would be extremely damaging for their relationship.  

Unless an external punishment could actually help to alleviate her internal guilt? Like when you do something to hurt someone and you wish they would just yell at you or throw something at you so you could move on?

Just a random thought.

[bbykimmy]

3 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Unless an external punishment could actually help to alleviate her internal guilt? Like when you do something to hurt someone and you wish they would just yell at you or throw something at you so you could move on?

Just a random thought.

That's actually a good point, it can be a relief and a release if done with care.  But it would have to be Jess asking to be punished rather than Seth doing the punishing.

[Wannatripbaby]

8 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

That's actually a good point, it can be a relief and a release if done with care.  But it would have to be Jess asking to be punished rather than Seth doing the punishing.

Agreed. Although I could see Seth initiating it if done with care: like he tries to console her but she's still upset so he says "I'm going to punish you now, that way you'll have nothing to feel bad or guilty about because you will have paid for your mistake." Or something like that. 

[Guilend]

Wow, I like how my little comment that I had made without much thought into it has created it's own momentum and a discussion on the topic, it was very unexpected, but I guess it did bring in it's own questions about both the character's in question and the  dom/little dynamic and how emotions play a big part of everything. Pain can be both physical and mental, I know a lot about needing physical pain to relieve mental/emotional pain. I am what's called a burner, I used to burn myself when I was angry, i mean very angry or when I felt down, sad or when I felt emotionless. it was a way for me to feel something physical to both anchor myself to the real, physical world and so I force myself to feel something different then what I was feeling. I have not done that in a few years, but I have the scars that will stay with me forever.   

[Kio Rampas]

53 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Agreed. Although I could see Seth initiating it if done with care: like he tries to console her but she's still upset so he says "I'm going to punish you now, that way you'll have nothing to feel bad or guilty about because you will have paid for your mistake." Or something like that. 

There's an interesting quirk of psychology that relates to the expression and physical act of washing your hands that I feel applies here. If you're feeling guilty about something, washing your hands reportedly helps alleviate the feeling of guilt. Maybe instead of a punishment for a mistake, Jess just needs a nice bath?

Go ahead, ask me for a citation on my Chicken Soup for the Soul BS, I'll fight ya.

Edit: I found one. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3937805/

 

Edited July 19, 2018 by Kio Rampas
Citation needed

[fyunch]

Well, if Vanessa teaches anything to her friends it is that openness is the best way to confront and overcome one's fears.

Nicely done, Kimmy.

[bbykimmy]

48 minutes ago, Kio Rampas said:

There's an interesting quirk of psychology that relates to the expression and physical act of washing your hands that I feel applies here. If you're feeling guilty about something, washing your hands reportedly helps alleviate the feeling of guilt. Maybe instead of a punishment for a mistake, Jess just needs a nice bath?

Go ahead, ask me for a citation on my Chicken Soup for the Soul BS, I'll fight ya.

Edit: I found one. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3937805/

 

That's also really good advice - it allows her, the sub, to be vulnerable and comforted and soothed while having that cleansing

41 minutes ago, fyunch said:

Well, if Vanessa teaches anything to her friends it is that openness is the best way to confront and overcome one's fears.

Nicely done, Kimmy.

If only Vanessa could fully take her own advice

[Guilend]

5 hours ago, bbykimmy said:

If only Vanessa could fully take her own advice

That is usually the hardest for anyone, or at least it is for me lol

I am always good at giving great advice, but I tend to never listen to myself lol

[aldl4811]

Awesome all around, you have me hooked

[bbykimmy]

10 minutes ago, aldl4811 said:

Awesome all around, you have me hooked

Glad you're enjoying it <3

I have a feeling tomorrow's chapter is going to be well received

[Kio Rampas]

11 hours ago, bbykimmy said:

That's also really good advice - it allows her, the sub, to be vulnerable and comforted and soothed while having that cleansing

Narratively speaking, it would also kind of subvert expectations if you had a dom just take a sub and not punish them, but instead help them deal with the guilt in a semi-ritualised way. It's not a new idea, to be sure, it's just not something I've seen before in ABDL fiction. I'm also going to stop talking about it now before people get the impression that I'm really into bathing as a kink.

[bbykimmy]

6 minutes ago, Kio Rampas said:

Narratively speaking, it would also kind of subvert expectations if you had a dom just take a sub and not punish them, but instead help them deal with the guilt in a semi-ritualised way. It's not a new idea, to be sure, it's just not something I've seen before in ABDL fiction. I'm also going to stop talking about it now before people get the impression that I'm really into bathing as a kink.

It's a really good suggestion that I might implement if Seth and Jess were the main focus of the story   But this is another one of those off-camera things

And I totally won't judge if you're really into bathing as a kink.

[Kio Rampas]

24 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

And I totally won't judge if you're really into bathing as a kink.

Dang it.

25 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

It's a really good suggestion that I might implement if Seth and Jess were the main focus of the story   But this is another one of those off-camera things

I'm glad, I think I'd feel weird for having disturbed the flow of the story.

[bbykimmy]

Chapter Twenty-Eight

"Are you comfortable?" I asked, half teasing.  She seemed so obsessed with the shibari lesbians on her computer that I couldn't help myself.  Dani was hogtied on the crib mattress, her ankles bound to her wrists - each in cuffs - with a pair of double-ended snap hooks joining them.  This sort of tie wasn't my favorite thing, it was less cuddly and warm than I liked my play, but this was what she was expecting.  She had seen Jess in all her diapered glory if my understanding of Seth's message was correct and her reactions were telling me that she wasn't interested in Little play, she wanted more of what I had shown her last night.  I should probably just let her go, say my goodbyes and be done... but I liked her a lot.  One more night of BDSM play wouldn't kill me.

"Comfortable?" she echoed, squirming.  "How could this be comfortable?"

"There are those who find how inescapable that is comforting," I smirked.  I unbuttoned my black jeans and slid them down my legs.  "Knowing that you're completely safe - and you are completely safe, if you safeword now we'll end it this instant - but also knowing that you're... " I paused for dramatic effect, my pants discarded next to the daybed, "Absolutely.  Helpless."  I punctuated each word by laying my hands on her shoulders one at a time as I turned her body toward me before discarding my panties.

I crouched slightly as I drew her toward me, burying her face between my legs.

"Show me what a good girl you are," I commanded.  I felt her tongue find my button quickly - she was practiced - and I legitimately had to lean my weight on her slightly as my knees went weak.  I hadn't expected her to be able to please me this quickly - oral was far from my favorite thing and even the bondage I had her in at the moment wasn't my preferred kink.

But her lapping tongue, teasing and flicking, separating my lips and ever so quick... she was really, really good.  A soft moan escaped me, which only energized her - her attack redoubled.  I dropped to my knees and kissed her, taking her face between my hands and driving my tongue between her lips, tasting my own juices on her.  I felt a need for her that was far more powerful than I expected.

This scene was supposed to be me teasing her, not her driving me wild.

When the kiss broke, after what felt like several lifetimes, we were both panting furiously.

"Am I a good girl?" she asked, her eyes shining.

"Your tongue is magic, my princess," I breathed.

"Fuck me," she growled, taking me completely by surprise.  Her intensity was shocking, how she went from submissive and pleasing to feral in a split second... I could see the hunger in her eyes.

I kissed her again, grabbing her by the hair and running my tongue along the back of her teeth before I pulled her head back.

"Don't.  Move," I commanded and ran for my room to get my strapless.

She was getting fucked.

*     *     *

An hour later we were both naked and sweaty, her cuffed but unbound form laying on top of mine as I breathed heavily, the feeldoe discarded on a pile of clothes next to the bed.  We had certainly put the crib's bed frame to the test.

"I want cookies," she informed me between panting breaths, her hand cupping my naked breast.

"Is that just a thing with you?" I teased.  It took some willpower not to correct her I want, there would be time for that later.

"Yes," she laughed.  "I always want cookies after good sex."

"Oh so it was good then?" I prodded, giving her a squeeze.

"Um, yeah - all that screaming?  That was a good thing."

"Hopefully my neighbors don't think I was trying to kill you," I mused.  "I'll have to invest in some white noise machines and a better stereo like Seth."

I wasn't sure what my misstep was at first, I felt Dani stiffen in my arms, felt her freeze... but before I could ask what was wrong, she asked me a question first.

"What's your deepest fantasy?" her voice was soft, cautious.  She was asking a lot of me and she didn't realize it... but at the same time, if I ignored her question, if I brushed it aside or made an excuse, it would be detrimental to the budding relationship.  She had said she was trying to think up how to break up with Julian, it was a foregone conclusion - she was all but mine if I wanted her.  And now, unexpectedly, after amazing sex... she was asking me to be more vulnerable than I had been in years.

"I want my princess to need me," I admitted obliquely, "I want her to prove how helpless she is, how she needs to be cared for.  I want to guide her and protect her."

I was saying it all, telling her my secret wants, but without saying anything.  Nothing concrete.  There were too many ways to interpret that statement.

"Will you get me cookies then?" she grinned.  "I'm far too helpless to go get them myself, I need you to care for me."

"Of course," I laughed, kissing her forehead and sliding out from under her.  I shook my head at her silliness as I walked for the kitchen, but before I could step out of the nursery, her voice came from behind me.

"And milk?" she added, batting her eyelashes at me.  She was turning on the cute... and it was working.  She was adorable, her hair mussed and messy with sweat, her neck and shoulders and thighs covered with bite marks that had yet to fade.  Our session had been intense, but she had kept up with my energy at every turn, she had given as well as she had gotten.

"Of course," I said again, savoring that image, my princess sprawled on the bed.  

I didn't bother putting on any clothes, the apartment windows were closed with the shades drawn, no one would see anything.  I fetched her cookies and milk... and returned to a new surprise.

Dani was on her knees on the mattress, her cheeks flushed and red for some reason, her eyes downcast.

"What's wrong?" I asked, not understanding what could have happened in the few moments I had been away.

"I had an accident," she whimpered.  My eyes shot to the puddle that was spreading beneath her... and my knees went weak again.  "I'm sorry.  I didn't make it to the potty."

I almost dropped the glass of milk.  I had no idea how to respond, my brain spun in circles as I processed what I was seeing, this vision from my fantasies, this perfectly deciphered image - she had read my meaning flawlessly, had seen through my subterfuge and given me exactly what I wanted.

"Are you mad at me?" her voice quavered as she looked up at me with watery eyes.  I thought for a moment that her sadness was genuine... but her eyes flicked to the cookies in my hand for the briefest moment and I knew.

She knew.  She had seen Jess.  She knew what I wanted.

But she had let me lead her to it.

She wasn't rejecting it.

I had hope.  Real hope.

"It's okay, princess.  I'm not mad at you," I soothed, putting the cookies and milk on the dresser and standing her up, pulling her to her feet off of the bed where her urine was spreading on the sheets.  I could smell it now, she had actually debased herself for my enjoyment... and she was quivering.  "But I think you should probably wear a diaper for a while, okay?"

There.  I took the plunge.  I threw the card on the table and hoped against hope that I was right.

She nodded, biting her lip.

My heart soared - this was it, the moment that I had dreamed of, that I had fantasized about for so long.  I took her by the wrist and led her across the hall, snagging a towel from the bathroom on the way which I spread out on my bed before laying her down.  She was trembling as she lay there, exposed, in my room.  I reached under the bed and pulled the bag Seth had stashed there a little closer and pulled out a bottle of powder and a DC Amor.  My hands were trembling as I began to unfold it.  My mouth felt dry as I spread it out, tapping Dani lightly on the hip.

Sure enough, she raised her bottom so I could slide the crinkly plastic-backed garment underneath her.  I moved slowly, lowering her hips onto the waiting diaper, watching as she sank into the padding every so slightly before I wiped her down with the tenderest of care I could imagine.  I began sprinkling the powder over her, taking a moment to rub it in, lingering a bit to make sure she felt my attention.  And then, as the moment of truth neared, my breath caught in my throat.

I pulled the front of the diaper up, pulling it over her sex and smoothing the wings to either side before taping it snugly.  When it was done, I rubbed my hand across the smooth padding, admiring the soft pink color that matched her wrist and ankle cuffs so well.  I pulled her to a sitting position before joining her on the bed, guiding her into my lap and wrapping my arms around her.

I held her tightly, my heart beating in my naked chest, my skin pressed against hers as I breathed in the scent of her - our sex, our sweat, her natural perfume, her shampoo... she was a symphony, every note perfect.

"I'll never be mad about an accident, my precious princess," I whispered in her ear, my hand sliding downward to caress her padding, to reinforce these positive feelings.  We stayed there for a few long moments before I carried her back to the nursery.  I sat her on the floor before grabbing her cookies and milk and sitting with her, pulling her into my lap again.  I held the glass in one hand and the cookies in the other, my arms around her.  She took one with a shaky hand, dunking it in the milk with her trembling grasp before guiding the soggy cookie between her lips.

"I'm wearing a diaper," she whispered.  Fear rose in me, an irrational fear that even now she would reject me, that she would tear it off and berate me as Lauren had, but her free hand snaked down between her legs and I heard the crinkle of the padding as she caressed the diaper, feeling it while she munched on cookies.

"Yes you are," I agreed.  "A princess who has accidents needs to wear a diaper."  I felt scared as I added to our blossoming shared fiction.

"It's... soft," she breathed, the exploratory crinkles still coming as she consumed another cookie.  "It's really soft and warm."

"And adorable," I added.  "You... you look amazing in it."  I realized how weird this must seem to her, to be wearing such an infantile garment, but she had no idea how many nights fantasizing about this very moment had gotten me through.

"This is stupid," she laughed a small laugh as she munched another cookie.  My heart sank at the words, I felt so fragile - I felt like I might break at the slightest blow.  "But I kind of want to show Jessica."  My mood lightened again as she finished the thought.  I was surprised at my own volatility.  "I saw her in one just like this today," she continued, "that's how I knew.  I had no idea they even made diapers this big."

"Princesses come in all sizes," I offered, resting my chin on her shoulder as she sat in my lap, munching her treat in both hands now, like the squirrels she loved so much.

"Is Jessica a princess?" she asked.

"Jess is a brat," I laughed softly, "And we call her Jess when she's Little, she's only Jessica when she's pretending to be an adult.  But a brat is exactly what Seth wants and it's what Jess loves."

"But I'm a princess," I liked hearing the word from her lips.  It felt right.

"You are absolutely my precious, perfect princess, Dani," I cooed softly at her, holding the glass of milk with both hands as she took the last cookie from my grasp, dunking it and munching it.

"Are you comfortable?" I asked.

"More comfortable than I ever imagined," she answered, leaning back into me, melting in my arms.

[littleDlife]

SQueeeeeeeeeeee

Love it!!! can't wait for more!

[Wannatripbaby]

Oh.

My.

GAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I have no words to express how much I loved this chapter! My favorite line was this:

30 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

she was a symphony, every note perfect.

Not gonna lie, I'm totally gonna steal that for my own personal use because it's so perfect!

[Guilend]

You almost through me over a cliff! I was reading it so intently that I hadn't realized how close to the end I was, then it just stopped abruptly and it was like NNNOOOOOOO!!!!!.

Ok, I should have seen some of this coming which I guess I did predict some of this, just the wrong person. I new Dani would want to make someone feel better, but I forgot that she also feels that she upset Jess so I guess she feels that if she just tried it out she would never know for sure if she liked it, but at the same time she could make both Vanessa and Jess feel better.

[ELLIE52]

I'm in a rush, so just quickly.  Great chapter.  Did the teacher become the pupil?

[bbykimmy]

2 hours ago, littleDlife said:

SQueeeeeeeeeeee

Love it!!! can't wait for more!

There will be more on Monday <3

I finished Chapter 29 last night.

2 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Oh.

My.

GAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I have no words to express how much I loved this chapter! My favorite line was this:

Not gonna lie, I'm totally gonna steal that for my own personal use because it's so perfect!

I'm glad you enjoyed it - we're into some of the really juicy bits now, it only took 60,000 words to get there (our current wordcount is 62,638).

I enjoyed writing the line, feel free to use it

1 hour ago, Aries said:

You almost through me over a cliff! I was reading it so intently that I hadn't realized how close to the end I was, then it just stopped abruptly and it was like NNNOOOOOOO!!!!!.

Ok, I should have seen some of this coming which I guess I did predict some of this, just the wrong person. I new Dani would want to make someone feel better, but I forgot that she also feels that she upset Jess so I guess she feels that if she just tried it out she would never know for sure if she liked it, but at the same time she could make both Vanessa and Jess feel better.

I'm glad you didn't fall off the cliff, but I am glad that you were so engrossed.

Dani has been fun because even now, the reader has no idea what's going on in her head.

Dani is a mystery.

30 minutes ago, ELLIE52 said:

I'm in a rush, so just quickly.  Great chapter.  Did the teacher become the pupil?

Good question... she sure seemed to dive in just the perfect way, didn't she?

[Kio Rampas]

If I were an evil bastard, I would say that now would be exactly the right time for Kailee and Aubrey to show up again. They're like the black mirror to what Seth and Jess have, to what Vanessa and Dani are just about to have. The Upside Down version. Maximum sweetness, then, wham! Horrible evil. 

[bbykimmy]

4 minutes ago, Kio Rampas said:

If I were an evil bastard, I would say that now would be exactly the right time for Kailee and Aubrey to show up again. They're like the black mirror to what Seth and Jess have, to what Vanessa and Dani are just about to have. The Upside Down version. Maximum sweetness, then, wham! Horrible evil. 

It's a good thing that I'm a being of sweetness and light then, isn't it?

[Kio Rampas]

6 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

It's a good thing that I'm a being of sweetness and light then, isn't it?

Absolutely. For reals though, that was lovely. I'm so invested in these characters, I did a little victory fist pump at the end of that chapter.

[ELLIE52]

1 hour ago, bbykimmy said:

Dani has been fun because even now, the reader has no idea what's going on in her head.

Dani is a mystery.

I am hoping we will see things from her perspective soon.

[HyperShark]

Jess appears to have twice been the catalyst of progress in Dani's and Venessa's relationship without even intending to. 

1 hour ago, ELLIE52 said:

I am hoping we will see things from her perspective soon.

I too would be interested in seeing this.

 

To talk about something on the last page, I am looking forward to when/if "Save Yourself" starts back up. Currently, in my Google Docs of Diaper Dimension/ABDL stories, it is currently placed 3rd (Making the Best of it being 1st) and it could potentially take 1st place on my list if it were longer.

[Wannatripbaby]

10 minutes ago, Hopsalot said:

Hello I just created an account but have been on this forum for quite awhile and I felt like a little stalkerish reading all your comments lurking in the shadows (like I feel weird not saying anything and knowing a bit about wannatrip, and Aries, and ramblelamb)(Im not even sure if introducing myself like this is normal on a forum, but here I am. Anyway so here I am, anyway aside from that, @bbykimmy I LOVE your writing and all your characters so much I can’t wait for the next update.

Firstly, welcome to the club!

You're not a stalker. All the things you know about us were posted publicly for the world (at least this little corner of it) to judge as they see fit. But I appreciate your honesty.

Is it normal to introduce yourself like this? No, but I have seen people do it. Hell, I'm actually one of those people! I originally made an account here to comment on stories. Although my interests have since expanded. So you and me are a lot alike in that regard.

I'm glad you decided to take the plunge and join in the fun, @Hopsalot. If you ever need anything, anything at all, feel free to shoot me a message. My PM box is always open.