Sonya and Michaela Starting Over

[Ishigreensa]

Brenda nodded at her when she mentioned that she liked the bathroom in the nurse's office.  She did see that it had bars around the toilet and then she realized that maybe the bars would help her use the bathroom a little more independently if she had her chair or her braces with her.

"Is it because you might be able to go by yourself if you have your chair and braces?" she asked.  "Because if that's the case, we can probably set it up so you can go there whenever you have to go.  I'm sure your teacher would prefer you to make it to the bathroom and be happy about it rather than have to sit there and wet your if I'm not available to help you."

She pushed her over to the table that had the bear on it.

"And I'd feel better if you were happy and able to do things for yourself, too," Brenda told her.  "No one likes to depend on other people for help especially when it comes to trying to get to the bathroom in time."

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela nodded. She smiled and grabbed her bear. “If I have my crutches and braces I can do it independently cuz of the bars.” She said, thrilled by the thought of getting some of her independence back. “We used to have a special seat at home. It had handles so I could support myself.” She explained. 

“I can’t do it with my chair though.” She said embarrassedly. “I can’t get in and out by myself. We were working on it in therapy.” She said shyly. It was embarrassing to not be able to get out of her wheelchair by herself. 

“Really? I could just go to the nurse every time?” Michaela asked hopefully. She was so excited by that thought. “That’d be great! I could go potty all by myself! I wouldn’t need help from anybody!” A glimmer of Michaela’s former, bubbly self was shining through with her excitement. 

She blushed and looked at her lap. “It’s embarrasing when I hafta ask someone for help whenever I need to go.” She said with red cheeks. She could feel her wet panties now that she mentioned the embarrassment. She squirmed a bit, trying to ignore the cold clammy sensation. 

[Ishigreensa]

"Yes, it is embarrassing to ask for help sometimes, but sometimes, people do need help with some things, and in your case, at the moment, you need help with your chair.  But in time, hopefully, you will have more and more independence as you grow."

She smiled at her.

"Has your mother found any way for you to start your therapy again with a professional?"

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela shrugged. “I don’t think so.” She said with a sigh. “I used to see a lady at school and we’d go to the hospital in the summer. I don’t think momma found somewhere for me to go.” She said sadly. 

“I don’t ask her about stuff anymore though. I don’t want her to feel bad cuz we don’t have any money. She gets sad sometimes cuz she can’t buy me stuff I need, but I know she tries.”

[Ishigreensa]

Brenda frowned.

"Well, this is something that shouldn't be ignored.  I'm sure we can find someway to get you back in therapy again even if it's not at the best place, something is better than nothing.  You let me and the social worker and your mom work things out, okay?"

She went to her desk and got some paper to make a memo about having her therapy discussed in the upcoming meeting for her.

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela frowned and stared at her lap. 

“Momma wants to help. She really does. She just can’t with no money. I know i cost a lot cuz I’m broken.” She said sadly. Even though her parents always wanted Michaela to think highly of herself and not poorly due to her disability, it was hard. Michaela couldn’t help but internalize a lot of things. 

[Ishigreensa]

Brenda shook her head and held a hand on hers.

"Honey, you are not broken.  Your heart, your brain, and your feelings work just fine.  You have a little problem with movement, and maybe some other little things that I don't know about, but what makes you a human still works just fine.  Therefore, you are not broken, honey."

She didn't know anything else she could say at the moment to comfort her, so she just stood there, wondering if maybe Michaela needed to be held again, but not wanting to force it if not.

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela looked down. She felt bad. 

“I know momma tries. But I’m so expensive.” She said quietly. “I wish everything was different.” She sighed. She didn’t have the words for everything she was feeling. 

“Ms. Brenda?” She asked softly. “How long is it gonna be til I feel better?”

[Ishigreensa]

"I don't know," Brenda told her truthfully.  "Each person is different, but with your mama and other people at school who care about you helping, I'm hoping it will be soon, honey.  Losing a loved one always takes a long time to heal, so unti you get through that, it will be a long time.  I won't lie.  But if you make some nice friends, and you get into a routine, and you start getting your life back to normal, as normal as it can be, then it will help."

She picked her up and hugged her.

"Honey, no one is forcing you to rush it.  We don't like to see you upset because we care about you, but we also know it's something that is natural.  You don't just wake up one day and forget your daddy, honey.  And truthfully, you never will.  The pain will get easier until it disappears, but the missing him will still return sometimes, and you will always remember him even if not precise things about him."

She patted her thigh as she sat her in her lap.

"Don't worry, sweetie.  the pain of loss doesn't last forever, and we are working to get you and your mama back into a normal life, so this will all pass before you know it."

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela nodded. She hugged her bear and sighed a little. She wanted to get her mind off things for a while. “Can we play a game or something Ms. Brenda?” She asked quietly. She wasn’t sure if it was allowed or if she should even ask for something like that. 

She blushed and squirmed a bit when Brenda patted her leg. She was embarrassed and aware of her wet underwear. 

[Ishigreensa]

"Of course we can play a game," she said.  "I'll bring a few over, and you can choose."

Brenda removed her hand long before she got up to get the game because she noticed Michaela squirming, and though she wasn't sure why the girl was nervous, she took it as a warning that she was uncomfortable with her touching her at the moment.

When she was done bringing games to the table, there were over twenty differnt games, though all of them were educational or were conversation starter games in order to make counseling go smoothly for less willing students.

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela blinked when all the games were brought over. She didn’t recognize most of them since they weren’t the typical board games she was used to, but she would have to pick something. 

She looked at the different boxes and felt a bit overwhelmed. “Um, that one?” She asked hesitantly. She pointed to a colorful and bright looking box. It was more of a conversation starter game, but Michaela had no clue. 

[Ishigreensa]

Brenda nodded and put the other boxes over on a shelf while she set up the conversation game.

"Now, in this game, there are question cards when you land on a space.  There are no wrong answers to the questions except not to answer at all.  it's supposed to be fun, and the crazier you make your answer the more fun the game gets, so you don't even have to talk about anything that is real if you don't want to."

Brenda then took her first turn so Michaela could get it.

Question:  "Would you rather be a cat or a bird?  Why?"

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela nodded. She hoped it wouldn’t be anything too hard to answer. She wasn’t very good at questions sometimes. 

When Brenda asked the question, it didn’t take long for Michaela to think of a response. 

“Bird.” She said quickly. “Cuz birds don’t need to always use their legs, so if a bird’s legs don’t work right they can still fly.”

[Ishigreensa]

Brenda smiled and nodded.

"You are very clever and creative," she said.  "I thought you would have said bird so you can fly.  That's what most kids say."

She then gave her the dice to take her turn to ask Brenda a question.

Just roll the dice and where you land, you ask me that question, okay?"

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela nodded. She rolled the dice and read the question. “What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?” She asked quietly. 

A while into playing, Michaela was really bothered by her underwear. “Um, Ms. Brenda?” She asked softly. “I’m uncomfortable. I had a small accident earlier.” Her face felt hot and red, looking down in embarrassment. 

[Ishigreensa]

"Do you want me to help you change, or do you just want me to give you some clean underwear to wear?" she asked her wanting to let her decide for herself, and take care of herself as much as she could.  "It's okay, but you really should tell us sooner than later if you are uncomfortable because you might get a rash."

She left out that she already knew she had wet because she had not wanted to embarrass her, and she still didn't.  She figured that if the young girl didn't realize that Brenda and the nurse knew, then she might not be as nervous about others knowing she was wet, after all, Brenda and the nurse only realized it because they were helping her in the bathroom.  She didn't smell particularly strong this time.