Sonya and Michaela Starting Over

[Ishigreensa]

Sonja nodded and carried her daughter rather than mess with the chair at the moment.

Brenda got the medicine and showed it to Sonja before they let Michaela take it, and then Sonja took her daughter to the bathroom.

"I know you are a big girl," Sonja told her.  "But I want to make sure you get clean because you haven't had a decent bath for a couple of days and you... well, you need to get clean, okay?"

She then started to help her daughter get washed.  Of course, there were places she let her daughter take care of by herself because it would just be wierd to wash her in those places when she was perfectly capable do doing so herself.

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela gladly took the pain medicine and let Sonja carry her to the bathroom. 

She didn’t care that Sonja was washing her today. She was tired and didn’t want to do anything except maybe cry or sleep. 

She washed her arms and stomach, along with most of her legs. These were the places easiest for her to wash since she couldn’t stand unassisted. 

She was able to dry herself off pretty easily while sitting on the closed toilet. 

Once dressed, Michaela requested to be back in her chair. While she didn’t enjoy using it often, it was a place she was comfortable and familiar with. She held her stuffed bear and rubbed her eyes. She was hungry, but didn’t want to ask if they planned on having breakfast. 

[Ishigreensa]

Once they had her cleaned up, Brenda came in and took her to the table to eat while she told Sonja that she should get a bath, too.  

Brenda took Michaela to the table and set her up next to her little son who was already eating cereal.

"I'm afraid we keep it simple here for breakfast, so I hope you are okay with cereal, milk, orange juice, and toast with butter and cinnamon-sugar."

She went to the kitchen area to start preparing Michaela's cereal.

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela was so happy to be brought to the table. The little boy’s cereal looked good. 

Not feeling too talkative, Michaela just nodded to Brenda. The cereal looked good, better than the cheap kind from the gas station that they’d had lately. 

When Brenda brought the food over, Michaela’s eyes lit up just a little, and soon she was scarfing down the cereal. She was hungry from crying and not sleeping well. She was starting to act like the girl that Sonja knew before her father died. 

[Ishigreensa]

Brenda smiled when she saw how healthy the girl was eating.  It made her feel really good.

"If you want more juice or toast, just let me know.  I can't do that with the cereal because we only have enough left for tomorrow morning for little junior if we forget to buy some tonight.  And starting tomorrow, we are going to arrange it so you eat breakfast at school even if you already have some in the mornings at home.  Kids can't study on an empty stomach, and your mother knows that you qualify for free  breakfast as well as bus service.  We just have to get it set up for you, so your mom will fill out some papers this morning, and then she'll take my baby back here to watch him for the day."

After a while, Sonja was out of the bath, and came in dressed to see Brenda and everyone eating and talking.

"We don't have much time now," Brenda told Sonja.  "But when you get back here after taking my son back from signing some important papers at the school, you are welcome to eat anything you want for breakfast that I have.  Consider it a part of the payment I'm paying you to watch my son."

Brenda nodded, and they were soon loaded into Brenda's car to go to the school.

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela didn’t want anything more than she ate. For once in a long while, she was full. She smiled a little at Brenda. She still had dark circles and was still not in the best mood, but she was full and a little happy. 

She stayed quiet in the car, just holding her bear and trying not to fall asleep. 

When they got to the school, Michaela did what she could to help get herself in her wheelchair. “I don’t wanna use my crutches today. I’m too tired.” She mumbled to Sonja or Brenda, whoever would listen really. 

When she was settled, she thought for a moment. “Can I bring him in with me?” She asked Brenda hopefully. Her teddy bear was giving her so much comfort and was helping her keep herself somewhat together. 

[Ishigreensa]

"You can take your bear to my room and have him or hold him anytime you are there in my room, but if you decide to go to class or do anything else at school, I want you to leave him in my room so no one takes him, okay?"

She smiled.

"Now, your mommy is going to set up things with the office, and we are going to have to take Junior with us to our counseling room until your mom is done.  I will have some groups come in for counseling off and on during the day, but you are free to either join us or stay quietly off to the side and color when they come in, okay?"

Brenda pushed Michaela through the school and to her room so she could start setting it up for her first group.

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela nodded. She hugged her mother before Brenda took her to her office. She wasn’t so sure about the groups she talked about. She just hoped nobody from her class would see her. 

“Will anyone from my class be here?” She asked quietly. Her voice was shaky and unsure. She didn’t want people in her class to think she was even more of a baby. It was bad enough they knew she smelled. 

“I don’t wanna get picked on more than I already am.” She said quietly, looking down at her lap, her voice full of sadness. She had not had a very good first few days of school. 

[Ishigreensa]

"I have to see a couple of kids from your class in one of the groups, but they won't be paying as much attention to you as they will with what is going on in the group, honey.  The truth is, most people have baggage, and some people have more to deal with than other people.  Now one knows this more than the two people that will be coming from your class, so I don't think they will feel like picking on you no matter what they see."

Brenda walked her over to a table and pushed her up to it, and then she started to arrange a large round table with place cards on it.  The first group were all first, second, and third graders with self confidence issues.  Because of this, Brenda was going to have them read a short story about overcoming fear, and have them talk about their feelings using a stuffed animal to show whose turn it was to talk.

"You know, if you wanted to, you could join the first, second, and third graders.  They have some similar issues to those that you are dealing with right now.  Yours are a little deeper than most of these kids, but I think it would help if you joined them."

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela frowned. She didn’t want anyone to see her. She’d just have to try and keep her head down so no one would see her. She sighed and just stared at the table. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do. 

She shook her head. She didn’t feel like talking to anyone. She felt bad because she could see Brenda wanted her to, but she just couldn’t. “I don’t want to.” She said quietly. She was already trying hard not to cry.

She didn’t want to say anything, but she was starting to feel the need to go to the bathroom. She could definitely hold it for a while, but she was too shy to ask Brenda to take her to the bathroom. She just kept her mouth shut and her head down. 

[Ishigreensa]

Brenda nodded.

"You can join us on another day," she said.  "When you feel a little more chatty, honey."

She let her sit at her desk instead where it would be easy for a girl her size and in her wheelchair, to easily duck down and hide from anyone that was in the room.

"You can just sit here and color for now, honey."

Pretty soon, the younger kids with self confidence issues came in and they started to read the story about courage and facing their fears, and then the teacher asked the kids how the boy in the story felt at each stage of the story and asked them if they felt the same or had different feelings.  Eventually, most of the kids realized that being afraid isn't what makes you not have courage, but actually being able to do something important when that fear is right there facing you is what make you courageous or not.

The teacher then told the kids that having courage takes steps and a lot of time, and that it was enough that they first realized what they were afraid of, and then that they took little steps to face that fear, and that they shouldn't try too hard to do something too big the first time they try.  And then they were challenged to go up to one of the strongest kids in their class, and to tell that kid that they are 'cool.'  The teacher told them to make sure that they didn't go up to someone that tormented them, but rather that they pick someone that seemed strong, but didn't have to hurt anyone to prove it.

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela stayed silent and colored while the group went on. She wasn’t drawing anything specific really, just drawing and coloring segments of the paper next to each other, starting with the top left corner, coloring that with a pale pink and then after coloring that, she grabbed a baby blue and colored a sort of line right next to the pink. She continued this with some lighter colors and just tried to pass the time and ignore her bladder. 

She listened a little to what the group was talking about, but she didn’t really feel it applied to her. She didn’t really think of herself as someone with self confidence issues. She just missed her father and was struggling with Home issues. 

[Ishigreensa]

Some time after that group had ended, Brenda started to prepare for the third and fourth grade groups that were dealing with family loss.  One kid had lost a mother, one had lost a grandmother, one had lost a baby sister, and one had lost a pet.

Brenda looked over at Brenda, but again, didn't really want to force her.

As a school counselor, it was her job to help kids like these as well as other kids whose baggage was much lighter deal with everyday school problems.

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela looked over at Brenda at one point, but sighed and looked back down. She had to go to the bathroom, but felt too shy and scared to ask. It wasn’t her stubbornness, but rather she was shy and nervous. She didn’t want to bother Brenda because she’d already done so much for her and Sonja. She really had to go though. 

Eventually, Michaela had covered the whole paper. When she did, she turned it over and tried to copy the exact colors and patterns from the other side. She didn’t want to be wasteful, and she was a perfectionist still. 

[Ishigreensa]

Imelda had come in with this group, and took a seat.  She was the one that had lost a mother.

Though she didn't have as many problems as Michaela did, she still had the emotional problems of dealing with the loss of an important family member.  She looked around, but didn't Michaela not that she expected to.  As far as she knew, the girl had stayed home sick that day.

They started out with reading a book just like in the last class.

[Shy-Diapers]

(I’m confused. Imelda was talking about her mom earlier. Was this a mistake or.....?)

Michaela kept to herself, not looking up when the fourth graders came in. She didn’t want anyone to notice her. If she kept her head down and didn’t say anything, then she could deny that she was ever there. She didn’t know anyone enough to recognize their voices, so she didn’t know who was there. 

At this point, Michaela really had to go to the bathroom. She was too focused on her bladder to listen to what was going on in the group. She was getting kind of desperate, unsure if she could wait until the group was over to use the bathroom. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to interrupt the group, but she didn’t want to have an accident. She would just try and color something new and hopefully last until the group was over. She just hoped that when the group was over that Brenda would be able to talk to Michaela and hopefully take her to the bathroom, since Michaela couldn’t do it independently. 

[Ishigreensa]

(I thought we agreed that Imelda had only her dad which is part of the reason that fate seemed to have worked out for them.  Maybe I made a mistake?  I should look back and see what I wrote.  If Imelda has her mom, maybe she just lost a pet.)

Brenda and the group worked the period on talking about feelings and how it's hard sometimes to have change regardless of that change, and then how losing someone important in your life is a lot harder than other things that happen.

While they were talking, the liquid in Michaela was getting really heavy and it wouldn't stop bugging her bladder.  Her bladder cramped and her privates felt hot and tingled with need because she really had to pee bad.

The group finally let out and Brenda started to put things away so she could see if MIchaeal wanted to take a break and get some air outside.

 

[Shy-Diapers]

(Yeah her having her dad was what we decided on in the beginning. She’s mentioned her mom though. Saying her mom said Michaela could come over to their house. Maybe just go back and edit it saying her dad said she could come over.)

Michaela was squirming in her chair at this point, and she had felt some pee escape into her underwear. Her cheeks felt hot and she didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t noticeable from the outside and probably not on the inside. 

When Brenda came over, Michaela was squeezing her legs and squirming in her chair. She couldn’t really cross her legs, so she had to hold herself instead. She had her bear in her lap to try and hide that she was holding herself though. 

“Are the groups over?” She asked, trying not to have a full accident in her chair. 

[Ishigreensa]

"No, I still have a couple more groups today, honey, but I do have a break for now.  Are you okay?"

She saw the girl looking a little uncomforable and doing the potty dance in her chair.

"Do you want me to take you to the bathroom?" she asked.  "I figure I have about half an hour before my next group, so we could go outside for a bit after I take you to the bathroom so you can get some air.  Would you like that?"

The pressure was starting to hurt from holding it trying not to pour the liquid uncontrollably into her underwear, but it was really hard just to keep from spraying herself from time to time once she had started to leak and the dam had sprung a leak.

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela turned red and nodded. She really had to go to the bathroom. She was to embarrassed and shy to ask though. She was pressing really hard between her legs, doing everything she possibly could to try and hold it. 

“I really need to go.” She said in a whisper. Her cheeks burned red when she admitted it. She felt like such a little kid. She was embarrassed that she wasn’t capable of using the bathroom on her own. 

She hung her head while Brenda pushed her chair. “I’m sorry you have to help me so much.” Her words couldn’t have been timed much more perfectly. After apologizing, Michaela’s bladder just couldn’t take it anymore. It was lucky she had left her bear in Brenda’s office. She had started wetting herself in her chair, pee flooding into her underwear and pants, pooling into the seat of her wheelchair. 

Michaela whimpered when her bladder released, her cheeks turning redder than Brenda had seen of her. She felt tears well up in her eyes, unable stop the floodgates once they were opened. 

[Ishigreensa]

Brenda got to just in front of the bathroom and went to the front of the chair to open the door so she could get Michaela wehn she noticed her soaked pants and pee all around her bottom.  The girl was just soaked in urine.

She sighed and pushed her chair away from the bathroom door and back so others could get through.

She put a hand on her shoulder and patted it.

"Let's go see if the nurse has some clean clothes and something to clean off your chair with, okay?"

She could see the little girl crying though, and it broke her heart.  

"Come on, honey.  It's going to be okay.  Once we get you cleaned up, I'll take you back to the room and give you some time to calm down, honey."

She pushed her towards the nurse's office.

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela was silently crying as she finished peeing her pants. She was humiliated. It was one thing to have leaked a little here and there on her first day, but this was a whole accident and everyone would be able to see and would immediately know what happened. 

“I’m sorry Ms. Brenda.” She whimpered quietly. She buried her face in her hands, not being able to keep from crying. 

She knew from past experiences, that her chair took a while to air out. Even once dried and cleaned, it would need to sit for a while so nothing would get absorbed into Michaela’s pants from sitting in her chair, plus it needed to get some air to keep it from smelling like stale urine. 

She hoped the nurse would have some clothes for her, and possibly a wheelchair. She knew the nurse at her old school had a wheelchair or two in the office for students who were hurt. She knew they wouldn’t be the most comfortable, since they wouldn’t be made specially for Michaela, but they’d be better than sitting in a damp wheelchair. 

When they got to the nurse’s office and were greeted nicely, Michaela kept her head as low as possible, too embarrassed to even say anything. 

[Ishigreensa]

Brenda explained that they were at recess and Michaela seemed to have just waited a little too long, and had an accident.

The nurse smiled and nodded, but didn't have a wheelchair on hand.  She could get one if she needed one, but it would take time for the custodians to get it from storage.  

"Her chair will have to dry out some," the nurse said.  "I'll get a custodian to clean it up for her and then put it out in the sun to dry out.  In the meantime, does she have her crutches?"

"I'm afraid we left them at home today," Brenda said.  "She was too tired to use them today, so we figured they would just  be in the way if we carried them with us."

"Well, you are capable of sitting up on your own, aren't you?" the nurse asked Michaela.  "Maybe we can put you in my chair.  It has roller wheels on it, and can be pushed inside the building wherever you want to go until time to go home."

Brenda nodded.  "You don't have any wheelchairs, then?"

"Not in easy access, no.  We can get her one, but it probably won't be until at least lunch time before we can get it to her."

"Well, please get it for her.  She likes her independence as much as she can have it, and things are already hard for her."

The nurse nodded.  

Brenda then lifted Michaela out of the chair and carried her to the sick bed where the nurse brought in some clean clothes for her.

"Let me do it," Brenda said started to change her.  "I know you can do it, but I just want to make sure you don't get your clean pants wet, and with your limited mobility, I think it would be easier for me to pick you up and stuff and keep you out of your wet spot on the bed when changing you."

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela nodded when asked if she could sit independently. Luckily for her, her cerebral palsy only affected her legs and not her core or arms. She had a strong core from having to figure out how to compensate for her lack of leg movement. 

She kept silent though, being too embarrassed to talk. She kept her head down, tears still rolling down her small face. 

When Brenda started to change her, she sighed and let Brenda take control and change her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” She said quietly. She felt guilty and ashamed. She hadn’t had an accident in years before recently. She hated herself for doing it so much. She felt like such a baby.

Michaela avoided eye contact while Brenda changed her. She kept her head down and didn’t make any sounds or reactions. She felt more depressed and upset than before. 

[Ishigreensa]

When Brenda was done changing her, he picked her up and put her in the chair and then she squatted in front of her.

"Michaela, you've had a lot to adjust to.  I don't know why you didn't tell me you had to go to the bathroom sooner, but I want you to know, that even if I'm in a group meeting, you can still let me know you have to go.  I'll take you as soon as I can, okay?  You don't have to wait until something like this happens everytime, honey.  It's not good for your health neither physical nor mental."

She smiled.

"Now, how about we do something fun in a bit?"

She started to roll her towards the counselor's classroom.