Sonya and Michaela Starting Over

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela sighed. Her chair was so embarrassing. She wished she could just use her crutches and braces without them hurting. “Can I just use my braces and crutches mommy? I don’t wanna be left out of everything. I already can’t do much at recess. And if I’m in my chair all day I’m stuck at my desk until the meeting.”

She sighed. Everything was so difficult for her. 

“I don’t wanna change classes either. But if I do, maybe I’d be able to move.” She said sadly. “I just wanna be like everyone else momma. But everyone thinks I’m different already.”

[Ishigreensa]

Sonja hated that her daughter felt like this.

"Honey, I'm sorry, but you need the chair if you are going anywhere that requires a lot of walking.  You're crutches just don't fit you right right now, honey.  You can either use your crutches and your chair together, or you can use your chair all day.  But I don't want you talked all the way across the school with these crutches because they are too small for you.  I promise, I'll get you new ones as soon as I can so you can move more freely, honey."

She hugged her little girl.

"Michaela, maybe if we get you a physical therapist at school, maybe she can help you move from your chair to crutches or something.  How about that?"

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela frowned. She wanted to cry and scream. She hated that there were many times that she had to be so much more mature for her age than other kids. 

“I dunno.” She said with a shrug. She was feeling generally disinterested in everything. 

“I dunno. I don’t m know anyone at school really, and I don’t know the therapist there.” She said sadly. “But I like the counselor lady. Can she help me into my chair momma? She seems nice.” Michaela asked hopefully. If anyone had to lift her into the chair,  she’d like it to be the one person who actually made her feel a little ok at school. 

[Ishigreensa]

"How about when I take you to school tomorrow, we can ask her.  Do you know her name?"

She was glad that her daughter was willing to compromise at least a little, and she would fight to get Brenda to be there for her, at least until she got to know someone who could always be with her meaning her PT.

"I think that if we can get this counselor to help you, then that would be the best thing for now, too."

She got her daughter up off of the floor and to the table.

"I want you to try to eat your dinner now, okay?"

[Shy-Diapers]

“Um no.” Michaela said, not remembering what she had said. Did she even say her name at all? She was confused. 

“I hope she can. I don’t wanna be stuck in my chair all day.” She said with a sigh. 

“I’ll try.” Michaela mumbled, her stomach hurt from being worried and upset all day. Sobbing her eyes out didn’t help. She ate her food, albeit slowly. 

“I’m done momma.” She said pushing the empty tray forward. “Do we have any medicine mommy? I’m really sore.” She said with a small whimper. She was hoping there was some sort of pain medicine. She didn’t need anything big, just regular Advil or Tylenol. 

[Ishigreensa]

Unfortunately, Sonja had not gotten any medicine recently because it was something that they didn't need at the moment, and she was trying really hard to make their money stretch.  She frowned and shook her head.

"I could go get some at Seven Eleven, but you'll have to come with me to do that," she said.  "It's too far to walk for me to leave you here alone, honey."

She went and picked up her daughter and took her to the bed to sit down with her.

"How bad is the pain, honey?  Do you think it might go away if you tried to close your eyes and go to sleep a little early tonight?"

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela frowned. Her legs were sore from her braces and being active. And her head hurt from crying so much. 

“Six.” She mumbled sadly. She felt like crying again. She was just a little girl, but sometimes she had to be so mature and strong that it took a toll on her. 

“I dunno if it will go away.” Michaela said, her voice cracking like she might cry. 

[Ishigreensa]

"Alright.  Let's get your coat on you and some shoes, and then I'll put you in your chair to take you to Seven Eleven, okay?"

Sonja started to help her daughter get ready with as much help as she wanted without doing too much that would make her upset even more.

Once they were ready, she started to push her outside.

She felt stupid having to go right back to the same store, and thought that they might think she was stupid or something for forgetting the pain medicine, but it couldn't be helped.  She couldn't leave her baby in pain if she was hurting and didn't know if it would go away if she tried to sleep.

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela let her mother do most of the work. She was tired and upset and in pain. She grabbed her teddy bear that she loved before going. She didn’t care that she was a bit old to be taking her teddy with her. She needed the comfort. She grabbed her quilt too. She put it on her lap and held her bear. They helped keep her calm. 

“Thanks momma.” Michaela mumbled quietly, curling up in her wheelchair. She was tired and stressed so she didn’t really care that she was acting a bit young. It wasn’t really even that, just she was so used to being so mature and strong that it was hard to relax and be a kid sometimes. 

[Ishigreensa]

Sonja was glad to see that she reached for her comfort objects thinking that no nine year old should have to think as maturely as this girl often did.  Sonja made sure that the blanket covered her good so that she wouldn't get too cold, and then she started out towards Seven Eleven.  The fall winds were already blowing cold temperatures around them.  Sonja shivered a bit.

In about ten minutes, they reached Seven Eleven, and Sonja wheeled her daughter to the medicine aisle and looked around for some pain medicine.

"Where does it hurt most?" she asked Michaela.  She hated giving her daughter anything that her daughter didn't need in the way of medicine because she partly blamed medicine while she was pregnant for the problems that her daughter had now.  She didn't trust even the medicine that had proven to be safe again and again, and only doled it out when it was absolutely necessary.

As such, and she knew her daughter knew that rule, she figured her daughter wouldn't have told her about the pain unless it was necessary.  She knew that medicine, when taken too lightly, was a bad thing.  Well, Sonja hoped she knew anyway.

Eventually, she got her the best medicine for her symptoms in Sonja's eyes, and she took her to the counter to find the same worker there as before.

"I forgot to get some medicine," she mumbled as she put it on the counter to be rang up.

Then she looked through her purse.  They were going to have to break into the money for the next day to get this medicine, but her daughter needed it. 

[Shy-Diapers]

“My legs mommy. Where my braces were. But my head hurts too. I think cuz I cried so much.” Michaela said, pointing out where the pain was, in order of severity. 

“Thank you mommy.” She said softly. She didn’t see the big issue with medicine since it helped. She had no idea her mother’s thoughts about it causing her disability. Of course that wasn’t the case. Michaela had a lack of oxygen when she was born, causing some neurological damage which caused her cerebral palsy. 

After getting home, Michaela took the children’s Tylenol tablets and curled up in bed. “I’m sorry I needed medicine mommy. I know we don’t have lots of money.”

[Ishigreensa]

"It's okay, honey.  If you need it, then that's what the money is for."

She would just have to be more careful with her own spending so as not to hurt her daughter's needed nutrition.

Sonja cuddled up with Michaela and then she tried to get her to go to sleep.

Of course, the hospital had said something about the oxygen thing to her when her daughter was born, but she didn't believe it.  She had seen a lot of babies, and most babies are not born with health problems and defects these days.  She knew that open use of recreation drugs affected births because that was always advertised.  It stood to reason in her mind, then, that even prescription medication can cause similiar problems, but since the government just wanted to focus on keeping people off of recreation drugs, they always talked about the harm that non-prescription drugs and so on can do while ignoring that doctors are definitely careful about mixing certain medicines.

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela slept through the night relatively well. She didn’t wake up in the middle of the night which was good. But when she woke up, she had wet the bed again. 

When Michaela woke up, she stretched out as best she could in the little room before realizing she was soaked as usual. She frowned and started to cry, being upset with herself and embarrassed that she couldn’t keep her bed dry anymore.  She was sure no one else her age wet the bed. It was even worse because Sonja was of course in the bed, but also because they probably didn’t have any clean sheets. 

“Mommy.” She squeaked out, trying to wake her mother up. “Mommy I wet the bed again.”

[Ishigreensa]

Sonja eventually woke up and then looked over and saw her daughter crying and trying to wake her.

She sighed and got out of bed.

She looked over at the closed door that led to the rest of the house, and she knew that she couldn't really clean her daughter up very well.  She was not sure what to do.

Finally, she went around to her side of the bed, and helped her sit up.  Then she started to help her take her clothes off.

"This is not ideal, but we don't have a better way to clean you up, honey.  I'm going to undress you, put a towel on your chair, and then have you sit there while I try to clean you up the best I can.  No, you can't just do it.  You can't move well enough to do so, and there is no real place to clean you up except in your chair because the bed is wet and the bathroom is too small, baby."

Once her baby was undressed, and she had a towel on the seat and then her daughter in the chair, she wheeled the chair next to the bathroom, and parked it.  Then she started to get some soap and water and wash clothes ready to clean her up.

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela was so embarrassed and upset. She hated wetting the bed. She was already late to potty train because of her limited mobility. She had only recently gotten dry at night about a year and a half ago. Now she was having trouble at night and sometimes in the day again. 

Michaela sighed and frowned. She held her teddy bear close to her chest while her mother cleaned her up. She was so embarrassed and mortified. “I’m sorry momma. I didn’t mean to.” 

“Do I have clean clothes?” She asked hesitantly. She knew she only had a few clean outfits because they didn’t get to do laundry often and sometimes she had to sleep in her daytime clothes which ended up getting wet while Michaela slept. 

[Ishigreensa]

"I think you have one set left, honey."

She sighed thinking she might have to use their food money to dry out some clothes.  Maybe she could wash some in the sink in the bathroom while Michaela was at school.  She continued to get her daughter clean and then she went to look for something to put on her.

The only thing she could find were a pair of her worst jeans, the ones that were a bit too tight in the waist, and a faded pink shirt that used to have a purple balloon or something on its front.

"These are all you have," she said.

She took the just then wet panties, and took them to the bathroom to try to wash them out some, and then after they were good and cleaned out by the soap detergent, she rinsed them good and rang them again and again to get as much of the water out of them as she could.  Then she pulled up back up on her daughter.  Her other panties had to be washed, and since they were a little older, it would be harder to get the smell out of them that quickly.

Once that was done, she pulled her daughter's jeans on her, but they wouldn't zip all the way up, nor would they button.  The shirt hid her unbuttoned jeans though, especially while she was in the chair.

"Okay, I guess that will do for now."

She then got her daughter some cereal to eat.

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela frowned. “Mommy these are so tight.” She said fidgeting in her chair. “And my undies are still soggy. It feels yucky.” She whimpered. She was usually never one to complain, but this was different. Her panties were still wet even though they weren’t dripping, and her pants barely fit her. 

She sighed and ate the cereal her mom poured for her. Once she was done she tried to go to the bathroom with no success. 

“Momma can I wear my braces? Are you gonna talk to the counselor lady?” She asked hopefully. She really wanted to be able to use her crutches and braces as much as possible. 

[Ishigreensa]

"I want you in the chair until we get to the school, but yes, I'm going to talk to your counselor and see if she can help you with going to the bathroom and getting in and out of your chair during the day."

Sonja had purposely ignored the comment about the clothes not fitting right or her panties being kind of wet because there wasn't really much to say about them.  They were all she had to wear, and so trying to talk her into it would just lead to a struggle that she didn't have time for.

While her daughter was eating, Sonja looked at the newspaper looking for a job that she could check out after dropping her daughter off at school.

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela sighed. She hated her chair sometimes. She just wanted to use her crutches like she always did. Hopefully the counselor would agree to help her in and out of her chair as needed. 

She felt upset that Sonja didn’t even reply to her comments about her clothes. They felt terrible on her. Her pants were too tight and she was wearing damp underwear. 

“I’m ready momma.” She said with a sigh. She wasn’t herself this morning, feeling extremely uncomfortable in her clothing was really distracting her. 

[Ishigreensa]

"Okay, then, honey."

She made sure her daughter was ready with brushed teeth and so on, and then they set off towards the bus stop to go to her school.

 

Her mother pushed her in her chair through the school and to the office where they waited for someone to help them.

"Some one helped my daughter yesterday, a kind woman...." she looked at Michaela for help to figure out when it happened.  "My daughter is a little shy about needing help with her chair, but for the time being, she really shouldn't be walking around the school because her braces and crutches are too small.  I'm going to get her some new ones as soon as I can, but she might get hurt and it might affect her health if she walks all the time with these things that are too small for her.  Of course, she wants to walk, so I want to compromise with her."

After she explained everything, and they figured out who it was, Brenda came out.

"I'd be happy to help her today as she needs me.  I only have a couple of students I need to talk to during the morning, so I can schedule my meetings around her class needs today."

Then Sonja was on her way to catch the bus for job hunting while Brenda was pushing Michaela in her chair.

(Let's have them give Michaela the notice on this day to have her mom come for a CSE meeting?)

[Shy-Diapers]

(Sure. It would probably be given to her by the special ed teacher, though not necessarily.)

Michaela listened to her mom and fidgeted. Her clothes were really uncomfortable. “I think she’s a counselor.” She said quietly, feeling embarrassed and unsure of herself. 

Though Sonja and Michaela weren’t aware of it, Michaela still smelled a little. It’s hard to fully get the smell of pee off someone if you can’t properly bathe or wash clothes. And though it wasn’t noticeable at the moment because she was in her chair, once she stood up, it would be easier to see that her pants didn’t button and were too small looking. 

“Thank you.” She said softly. She was embarrassed that she needed help with mobility, but she couldn’t help it. 

“I don’t wanna be in my chair in class.” She said as they approached the classroom. “There’s no room for me if I am. I don’t wanna be stuck at my desk.” She explained, trying not to sound like she was whining. 

Once Brenda helped her out of her chair and got her braces and crutches adjusted, it was clear to see from Brenda’s angle that Michaela was wearing clothes that didn’t fit her, and that she still smelled a bit like pee. 

[Ishigreensa]

Brenda frowned a bit at the clothes, and because the panties were damp from being washed out, they actually made her pants wet when she was in the chair, so not only were the pants too small, but they were wet and smelled like pee.

Brenda sighed and put Michaela back into her chair.

"Please wait here a minute," she told her.  "I need to talk to your teacher for a minute, and then you and I need to take care of your dress.  You can't wear these clothes here, honey.  They're much too small for you, and border on indecent because you can't even fasten your pants."

She didn't comment on the fact that she thought the girl had peed her pants again because she didn't want to embarrass her even further.  Maybe there was a medical problem that was causing her to wet her pants without meaning to?

She started to approach the teacher.

A few of the other kids had seen her in the chair and some whispers went around the room about it though she was in the hall and only maybe two or there others saw her chair, the whole room would know by the time they got back.

[Shy-Diapers]

Michaela frowned and looked down at her lap. She was so embarrassed. “I’m sorry.” She said with red cheeks. She stayed silent while Brenda went to talk to her teacher. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen. Was she going to get in trouble? She hoped they wouldn’t call her mom, because she knew her mom wouldn’t be able to come soon and her mom couldn’t do anything about it. 

She felt even more embarrassed when the kids started to whisper and talk about her chair. This is exactly what she was trying to avoid. Now everyone knew she had to use a wheelchair. 

When Brenda came back out, Michaela had tears in her eyes and was extremely embarrassed. She didn’t know what to say to Brenda. Her mind was racing about what was going to happen. 

[Ishigreensa]

When Brenda saw the tears in her eyes, she figured it was because Brenda had discovered her wetting her pants because that's what she believed had happened.  Still, she knew that it wasn't profession to just assume it even if she thought the peeing her pants would make her cry, and she was wondering how to approach the nearly crying girl without upsetting her more about what was making her upset.

She started to wheel her down to her office.

"Honey," she said in a low whisper in the empty hall.  "No one is going to punish you for what happened this morning.  I just want to make you more comfortable.  Even if...." she paused.  The looked down at the girl's wet pants and decided the girl really couldn't expect that to be hidden anyway, especially since she had to help her up.  "Even if you hadn't wet your pants, honey, those clothes were not good to wear.  They're too small, sweetie."

She pushed her into her office and then sat in front of her for a minute.

"I guess this is my your mommy wants you to get help getting in and out of your chair?  You're too embarrassed to speak up about having to pee, and end up wetting your pants if you are stuck in your chair, honey?"

She patted the girl's arm.

"It's okay.  I don't think anyone saw your wet pants, sweetie.  Even if they did, they wouldn't be allowed to make fun of you, okay?"

[Shy-Diapers]

“I didn’t wet my pants!” Michaela said honestly once they were in the office. “I didn’t!” She said truthfully, starting to cry. She felt so embarrassed. And now this nice woman whom she trusted thought she peed her pants!

”My undies were kinda wet cuz mommy had to wash them in the sink cuz I didn’t have any clean clothes. She didn’t have time to dry them. She just squeezed them to try but they were still wet when I had to get dressed.” She felt so ashamed. She stared down at her lap and felt her cheeks sting redder. 

“I’m sorry my clothes are too small.” She said quietly. “It’s all we had clean. We don’t have a washer.” She stared down at her wet lap and sighed. 

“No! Momma said I need to use my chair when I’m not in class. My braces and crutches are too small, but she can’t afford new ones right now. But I don’t like being stuck in my chair. It’s hard to move around in. And I can’t get in and out by myself. We were working on it before we moved.” She explained, trying to get Brenda to believe that she didn’t wet her pants, but also trying to avoid saying that she had wet the bed.