Trying to figure out what I am

[YourFNF]

So for a while now I've considered myself a diaper lover but wasn't exactly sure why. I never really got the AB side of the coin, probably because being a kid for me was a confusing cluster fuck and going back to that was just no. When I tried wearing I didn't get the sexual thrill I was expecting but I did find the sensation of warm padding against my fun bits pleasant. And wearing protective pants could definitely be convenient during movies, long car rides, and nights out where drinks would be involved. Recently I've been reading a lot of the diaper dimension story's and while the age play angle wasn't for me I did like the idea of this caring person looking after someone. This past Friday I basically collapsed from stress and depression related exhaustion. It sucked, I was tired of fighting and was wondering if I should inpatient myself. I spent about an hour on the bathroom  floor with my school counseling center's crisis line. I took a roughly three hour nap  and I pulled through. I'm still not 100% but I feel like going through that fire and darkness stripped away some shit.  I feel lighter and like I got some clarity on things. One of those things was the diapers. I realized I liked the feeling of punk liberation I got when wearing more than any other reason. I also discovered that while I didn't like the idea of being regressed I liked the idea of being a Little who is basically an adult, just one that needs extra support, love and care. I think a lot of that has to do with coming to terms with being on the autism spectrum and having an entire sack of cats worth of assorted neuropsych issues. Of wanting to be independent but finding doing responsible adult shit so stressful and difficult. I'm still trying to figure out how this fits into the swirling kaleidoscope that is my identity/sense of self. Queer, Autistic, Geek, Hipster, University student, Pansexual, Agender, Low key goth/punk, Disabled, Flaming Leftist, INTP; so many different pieces.  I'm trying to figure how this new one fits in.

 

Let's try it out I'm 'name redacted' and I'm a geeky queer adult Little?

[ELLIE52]

Well you did get a little wired reading the stories, but later you seemed to have calmed down.  I actually had to laugh at a few of your posts ... having already read the stories and knowing what was going to happen.

NameRedacted.....  I love it~

[YourFNF]

5 minutes ago, ELLIE52 said:

Well you did get a little wired reading the stories, but later you seemed to have calmed down.  I actually had to laugh at a few of your posts ... having already read the stories and knowing what was going to happen.

NameRedacted.....  I love it~

Glad to see my inability to regulate my emotions in a healthy way did not completely freak you out. And TBH the breakdown was gonna happen anyways you just got a front row seat to the fireworks.

[ELLIE52]

It's all good.

Kimmy seemed to understand some of what you were experiencing, I think.  She'd actually make a good Mommy? if she put her mind to it.  LOL

[Firefly 35]

On 2/11/2018 at 9:46 PM, YourFNF said:

So for a while now I've considered myself a diaper lover but wasn't exactly sure why. I never really got the AB side of the coin, probably because being a kid for me was a confusing cluster fuck and going back to that was just no. When I tried wearing I didn't get the sexual thrill I was expecting but I did find the sensation of warm padding against my fun bits pleasant. And wearing protective pants could definitely be convenient during movies, long car rides, and nights out where drinks would be involved. Recently I've been reading a lot of the diaper dimension story's and while the age play angle wasn't for me I did like the idea of this caring person looking after someone. This past Friday I basically collapsed from stress and depression related exhaustion. It sucked, I was tired of fighting and was wondering if I should inpatient myself. I spent about an hour on the bathroom  floor with my school counseling center's crisis line. I took a roughly three hour nap  and I pulled through. I'm still not 100% but I feel like going through that fire and darkness stripped away some shit.  I feel lighter and like I got some clarity on things. One of those things was the diapers. I realized I liked the feeling of punk liberation I got when wearing more than any other reason. I also discovered that while I didn't like the idea of being regressed I liked the idea of being a Little who is basically an adult, just one that needs extra support, love and care. I think a lot of that has to do with coming to terms with being on the autism spectrum and having an entire sack of cats worth of assorted neuropsych issues. Of wanting to be independent but finding doing responsible adult shit so stressful and difficult. I'm still trying to figure out how this fits into the swirling kaleidoscope that is my identity/sense of self. Queer, Autistic, Geek, Hipster, University student, Pansexual, Agender, Low key goth/punk, Disabled, Flaming Leftist, INTP; so many different pieces.  I'm trying to figure how this new one fits in.

 

Let's try it out I'm 'name redacted' and I'm a geeky queer adult Little?

Hey, I'm an INTJ/INTP (depending on the day), a geeky college student, and have Aspergers as well along with an alphabet soup of mental conditions, so you're definitely not alone here.  As far as coming to terms with autism, just embrace your special interest as a gift and remember that 1 out of 85 people have autism, so statistically you cannot walk down a busy street without passing at least one other person on the spectrum.  

Hope this helps.

[YourFNF]

9 minutes ago, Firefly 35 said:

Hey, I'm an INTJ/INTP (depending on the day), a geeky college student, and have Aspergers as well along with an alphabet soup of mental conditions, so you're definitely not alone here.  As far as coming to terms with autism, just embrace your special interest as a gift and remember that 1 out of 85 people have autism, so statistically you cannot walk down a busy street without passing at least one other person on the spectrum.  

Hope this helps.

So excited to meet another one. I think that's part of why being Little resonates with it makes so that I feel less broken like there's at least the possibility of me being able to be happy with someone? Like one my anxieties with a long term relationship is that I'm such hot mess, what do I have to offer? But if there are actually people out there who find it emotionaly fulfilling looking after a high maintenance hot mess of a partner maybe there's hope? I don't know if that made any sense?

[Firefly 35]

I'm sure there's some people out there like that, but you might want to also look for people who are also (or were) a hot mess since they would be glad to meet someone in the same situation.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

What do you mean "Trying to FIGURE OUT who I am"? I thought persons actively chose to be who they are and made it happen

[Firefly 35]

15 hours ago, Little Christine said:

What do you mean "Trying to FIGURE OUT who I am"? I thought persons actively chose to be who they are and made it happen

I think that's what YourFNF is trying to do.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

I can only go on what was said by the poster, not on what someone thinks, even me. That would be presumptuous and I am not telepathic