Paid In Full (formerly Untitled)

[fideliuscharm]

This is my first attempt at fiction. I would appreciate all constructive criticism for any future parts I add to this tale.

Thank you to everyone else who has shared their creativity and energy. You've finally inspired me to write.

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Preface;

I don't expect anyone to believe a word of what I'm saying. Truth be told, given the events of the past few years, I'm sure those who know me will just assume this is another sort of delusion. For my own sake, I write about these recent events so that a record will exist for better or worse.

September 11th 2001.

This is as good a place to start as any. I should have died that day. For all I know, I did die that day. I remember getting up, following my usual routine, have a quick shower, toss on a suit, grab a coffee and a gnosh on the way to the subway, and wander into work. People look at me with such pity at first when I tell them I worked in the WTC, then when I explain what happened, they look at me with disgust as though I'm trying to make a joke of those who perished. But I digress, My day was like any other, until we felt the building shudder, the alarms went off, and then... nothing

I awoke to the sound of my cellphone going crazy. I grabbed the phone 'William speaking' 'Will, are you okay? I cant get a-hold of anyone else from the office'. Michelle my co-worker was frantic, I couldn't understand why, I had taken over all of her projects when she had left for maternity leave...

'Are you okay Mich? whats the matter??' I asked her. 'Where the hell have you been, how can you ask that, don't you know whats going on?' her words practically jumped out from the phone and slammed into me.

'I uh had a Dr. appointment' I lied hastily.

She snorted and said 'So you haven't heard that the towers collapsed? they were hit by planes'.

My world collapsed, I dropped the phone. It all came rushing back to me, the alarm going off at 6, choosing my new Harry Rosen suit. Seeing the cute secretary in the elevator who worked on the 15th, feeling the shake and shudder, hearing the alarm, then seeing the plane crash into the other tower, and then nothing.

What the hell had happened. I picked up the phone and told Mich I'd call her back despite her protests. CNN was showing most shocking footage of two jets crashing one after the other into the towers. I was there... but I was here, how could I have gotten out? What the hell was going on??

---

July 15th 1984

My tenth birthday. I was having a sleep-over I woke screaming from a nightmare, all of my friends either comatose, or sleepily looking at me to see if I was alright. I was terrified, I realized my sleeping bag was soaking wet. Children can be so cruel, by the start of the school year, I had gone from being a popular kid, to the 'kid who pissed his bed'.

I didn't know it until recently, but that was the start. Part of me curses them for it, but another part wouldn't have it any other way.

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October 1st 1987

Over the last three years, the nightmares had gotten worse, the most grotesque and graphic depictions imaginable, pain beyond belief. With the nightmares came the wet bed. At first it was written off to coincidence, the sheets were washed, the mattress flipped. After two weeks of accidents every third or fourth nights, the rubber sheet was added. Finally when Mom got sick of changing my sheets every day, she brought out the diapers. Every night I'd have to wear a diaper to bed.

Eventually I got to the point where I preferred to be diapered rather than wake up in wet sheets. I'd have my nightmare, wake up, calm down, fall back asleep and go back to bed. By that point the nightmares were so regular, usually five out of seven nights a week, I was taken to the doctor. The usual physical exam, the doctor diagnosed the wetting as a cause of stress from the nightmares, and that I should start therapy to determine the cause of the nightmares.

I'm grateful for the effort, but it was totally wasted, after some time the therapist basically lead me to the belief that the nightmares were caused from the shame for wearing the diapers.

Puberty took over. Practically overnight I started to grow. I got tall, my voice got deep all the usually embarasing teenage things. Best of all, the nightmares stopped. I was dry at night!

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June 26 1992

I 'borrowed' a fifth of whiskey from my parents, My friend Gord had 'borrowed' his older brothers car, and our partner in crime Mark had come up with a joint. We had finished our final exams earlier that day, we were driving down a dirt-road to a swimming hole outside of town to beat the repressive summer heat and to celebrate our graduation. We had all been smoking Marks joint, drinking my whiskey.

We never even saw it coming, as best they figured out the dump-truck had ran the stop-sign and clipped the tail end of the car, we were instantly flipped up and over, I remember blacking out with a intensely bright flash of light.

I awoke the next morning in my bed, my clothes smelling of whiskey and pot, my body hurting like nobodys business, and my parents standing at the foot of my bed looking ready to kill me. I was in the middle of being lectured, when the phone rang.

Gord's parents were calling to tell me that there had been an accident and that Gord and Mark were both killed. The shock hit like a sledgehammer, cutting through the headache, I had been in that car. What the hell had happened? How did I make it home?

That night I had dreams like the nightmares I had when I was a kid, except the frightening quality wasnt there. I didnt understand them, they were still very abstract. I wrote it off to shock of the loss of Gord and Mark. I assumed we had gotten drunk/high together and then chosen not to ride with them. My parents let the matter drop given what had happened.

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January 2nd 1995

After two years living on campus at the university, I was finally making enough money from my job to afford my own place. Nothing fancy, a one bedroom apartment above a store a 15 minute walk from the campus.

I awoke late in the morning, I had no plans until class started again on the 9th. I was going to enjoy my freedom from all the holiday stuff, I decided to lounge around and watch some television. Post holiday day-time tv really sucks. I ended up channel surfing, the singing chef? Bye Pasquale, the ever present star-trek? Scottie I need warp speed to a new channel!, I finally settled for a national geographic special on the great barrier reef. Hey why not, the fish looked cool.

The stunning array of fish was mind candy, a canvas of visually hypnotic color and movement lulled me off to sleep.

I was hearing voices. At first they were faint, and sounded very... foreign like one of the exchange students struggling to speak english with limited experience. As I focused on the voices more, I realized that my eyes were open, but I couldn't see, the room was dark. The voices were asking me questions, I don't remember the questions but the tone was very gentle and non threatening, almost apologetic. I was left with a sense of their satisfaction, as the darkness lifted

I woke up and saw it was almost six, I called some friends to see if anyone was sufficiently recovered from new years to contemplate doing anything. Sarah was the third person whom I called, she was the first to suggest something interesting, she had been invited to a party and was looking to go with someone. After a few brief details of location, we agreed that I'd pick her up at seven.

7:00pm

I had showered, shaved, tossed on a pair of clean carhartt pants and a shirt, and was waiting patiently outside Sarah's dorm. She came to the car with a big paper bag in one hand, and what looked like directions to the house the party was at in the other.

Motioning to her bag I asked 'What're you drinking?' assuming like any other engineering student she'd be into the sauce all night. She blushed and said 'Keg at the party, lets go we're going to be late' as she tossed the bag into the back seat.

I drove us to the party, one of the sorority houses on the other side of the campus. We got through the door and waved hello to the usual faces, mostly people whom Sarah knew either from her program, or from the sorority and their boyfriends.

Victoria the president of the sorority stood up on a chair and shouted for everyone to shut-up. 'Listen up ladies and gents, as some of you know, this party is a charity fund-raiser. We've got a contest, and we're hoping to raise some money for the rotary club so they can buy a defib unit for the arena. Here's the deal. The contest costs $10.00 to enter. it lasts for 3 hours, anyone who hasn't quit will get their name put into a draw, and we'll award prizes to three of the lucky finalists. The runner up prizes are a Sony CD-walkman, and a 30" television, the grand prize is a new laptop fully loaded with software."

I could see why Sarah had wanted to come, she'd really wanted a laptop for her course work, but couldn't afford it, she was desperate for any chance to win it and the excuse to party was just an added benefit.

Victoria continued with her explanation of the contest. "All of the contestants will be required to drink 3 pints worth of fluid an hour, for the three hours, sound easy? well its not, all of you who enter, have to wear a diaper because the bathrooms are off limits to you. As for the rest of you, you can sponsor whomever you want, if you sponsor someone and they are one of the three who make the prize round, you'll get free beer for the rest of the party"

I thought about this for a moment, remembering all those nights as a child where I had to go to bed diapered for the bed wetting. I thought about Sarah's huge desire for a laptop, the rotary club wanting so much to put the defib in the arena. Sarah was blushing at me beet red, she knew I had a crush on her, and would pay her entry fee to give her the chance of getting the lap top.

I told her 'No problem Sarah, I've got you covered' handing her a ten as I thought to myself, She'll be the one covered in a moment. She took the brown paper bag to the washroom to put a diaper on, and then joined the line to register for the contest.

9:40 pm

More than half of the people who started in the contest had given up, they just couldn't bring themselves to wet their diapers, and had torn them off in a mad rush for the washroom bringing a chorus of laughter from us all. A few brave souls had endured the humiliation of the others at the party once it was made clear that they had wet their diapers. Sarah smartly had stuck to water knowing that had she drank beer like the others she'd find its diuretic effects would be making her the worse for wear. She was one of the few who were dry.

10:00 pm

Victoria jumped up on the chair to let everyone know that the contest had now closed, and that all those still eligible for the prizes were to report to the front to have their names added to the draw.

Sarah walked up to the table with the box of names for the draw, shooting me a hopeful look over her shoulder. After a few moments all the eligible people were into the draw.

They called the first name, some freshman from the sorority ran up to claim her cd player. A guy from one of Sarahs labs won the tv, and then with a flourish, Victoria drew the name for the grand prize. She drew it out, giving descriptions of the amazing capabilities of this new sony laptop, When she called Sarah's name, I thought she was going to explode, she really wanted that laptop. She ran up to the front of the room yelling with excitement and satisfaction.

As she stood with Victoria, Sarah's demeanor changed instantly, she went from excited and bubbly to more reserved and quiet, She thanked Victoria and everyone else and beat a hasty retreat back to me, with the beginnings of tears forming in her eyes.

'Will I have to leave, take me home' she murmured quietly enough that no-one around could hear over the noise.

I nodded and offered to carry the box for the laptop while she grabbed her bag, and made for the door.

By the time we got to the car, Sarah was in full tears, both of happiness for having gotten the laptop, and embarrassment. I figured it was safe to assume that she had an accident in her diaper.

'I cant believe you won the laptop Sarah, that rocks', I tried lamely to comfort her.

'Will just shut-up and take me home' She cried

We sat quietly in the car as we got closer to her res. I thought quickly, 'Sarah, it's okay, you couldnt help it you had 9 pints of water and with all the excitement it just happened, besides no-one noticed'. With a warble in my voice I decided I might as well dive in whole hog. 'It just happened this once, its not that bad, It could be worse, like if you woke up in a wet diaper every day for almost three years'

She looked over at me still crying somewhat 'what do you mean? you wet the bed and had to wear diapers?'

'Yep, from just after I turned ten, till I was thirteen. I started having these nightmares and would wet the bed so my mom made me wear diapers so she wouldn't have to change my bed every morning' I looked at the floor of the car trying to think of anything.

Sarah looked at me and asked me shyly 'Will, wow I never knew... I'm sorry... I have a BIG favor to ask, you're the only one I can trust, if my room-mate is home and finds out, I'll never live this down. Can we go back to your place so I can get cleaned up?'

The possibilities here were getting interesting. I thought about it for all of a nano-second 'Uh yeah of course Sarah'

We got back to my place, Sarah went immediately into the bathroom and started to cry more when she realized her diaper had leaked onto her panties she had put back over-top, and her skirt.

'Will this is horrible, my clothes are a mess, do you have something, anything I can borrow?' She begged from inside the washroom

I fetched her a pair of track-pants that were the closest thing I had to her size. As she came out, with a bundle of her clothes in her hand, she asked if she could wash them here so her roomie wouldn't notice. As I showed her where the laundry was, I noticed the distinct crinkle noise of a diaper coming from her. I figured what the hell, after all this why not. I asked her if she was wearing a diaper again.

'Ofcourse silly, my panties are wet, you dont think i'm going to wear wet panties, or go around without something on under these pants do you?' She laughed at me.

My mind was racing at this point, this was hands down the most awkward and yet erotic situation I had ever been in, and if I didnt play my cards right I was going to blow it. After all, I had a huge crush on Sarah.

We sat on the couch and talked while we waited for her clothes to go through the cycle. We talked about school, courses, professors, labs, graduating, we talked about our childhood. When I explained in detail what had occurred to me, Sarah leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek saying how sorry she was. All I could think of was "I'm not, if It hadn't of happened this probably never would have happened" so I said 'thank you'. She then gave me another kiss on the cheek and said 'thank you for being so sweet and taking care of me tonight'.

I smiled and said softly. 'what else would I have done?'. She was still looking uncomfortable for some reason, and ALL I wanted right then was to kiss her back, but I figured it was the diaper that was bugging her. I put all my eggs into one basket 'Sarah, If it will make you feel more comfortable, I'll put a diaper on too'.

She didn't say anything for a moment and finally smiled in a way that I took as a yes. I got a diaper from her bag, went into my bedroom and put it on. When I came back out, she was looking at my bum intently and still smiling, I sat beside her and we kept on talking.

One thing lead to another and eventually we were kissing each other with the pent up passion of two people who had nothing but lust on their minds.

Somewhere in the tangle of lips and arms, my shirt, her shirt, her bra had been taken off. I was reaching for the drawstring tied in a big bow on the track-pants when the buzzer sounded on the laundry.

Sarah jumped with a start and said 'oh my clothes are done...'

I cursed that damn laundry unit. With the mood broken, Sarah got her clothes, went to the bathroom and got changed. When she came out, she asked that I take her home.

I cursed that damn laundry unit again. I nodded slightly disappointed and said 'no problem'.

We went down to the car and I drove her back to her res, she gave me a kiss before she popped out of my car, and promised to call me soon.

Frustrated beyond belief, I went home and went to bed. Strangely I fell asleep quickly and I dreamed

I could hear the voices clearer sooner, and the accent sounded less, like they had more practice. Again it was with the questions, apologetic in tone. This time I heard some electrical noises, and I felt my body respond, I was feeling all the same feelings from earlier that evening. The voices asked me more questions, how I felt? what I liked about Sarah? again after some further questions, the darkness brightened after the voices faded away.

I awoke the next morning with vague memories of the dream, soon fleeting to the subconscious of my mind.

I realized I had fallen asleep still wearing the diaper from the night before. To my surprise the diaper was wet, even more to my surprise I found I really liked the feeling of the squishy absorbent material inside.

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[BoTox]

This is my first attempt at ab/dl fiction. I would apreciate all constructive criticism for any future parts if I add to this tale.

Thank you to everyone else who has shared their creativity and energy. You've finally inspired me to write.

... clipped ...

I hope you've enjoyed it. and that I've kept you guessing where I'm going with this.

Good beginning. I like it. Keep it coming.

[fideliuscharm]

Good beginning. I like it. Keep it coming.

thanks BoTox now if only i had some ideas for a title... anyone?? title ideas?

and coments too please!!

[fideliuscharm]

Part Two.

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Preface:

I apologize if this is difficult to follow, I'm recounting things in the order that I've recorded them. I felt it better to maintain the story line the way I wrote it down originally, than to modify by adjusting by time.

November 31st 1997

I graduated from Waterloo with my degree in economics earlier this year. with my 4.0 GPA, I was basically able to cut my own ticket, I wanted to leave Ontario and see some of the world. I finally settled on a position with a financial company who's offices were in the World Trades Center. I took the job because I wanted to see NYC, I wanted to see the big city. There were other reasons of course; the company leased me a condo, making the near impossible task of finding an affordable place to live much easier. Also it didn't hurt that the company I worked for had a great reputation of being a huge resume booster.

Work had been going great. I had made a lot of new friends, I even made some friends over the internet after finally realizing that there were others like me out there who were interested in diapers.

One evening I had been having drinks at a pub with a few friends from the internet who were also ab/dl, it was close to 1am by the time we left. They shared a cab back to queens, I figured since it was close to the apartment I'd just walk. I was two blocks away when it happened.

A guy asked me for a light, and when I said 'Sorry, don't smoke', he muttered 'It don matter' and I felt a searing pain just below my left shoulder blade.

The mugger said 'gimmie your stuff or I'll cut you again bitch'.

I couldn't believe it, not even my first year done in NYC, and I've been mugged at knife-point. I tried to give the mugger my watch, and wallet as quickly as possible, I just wanted this over with so I could get the cut on my back looked at. He must have been an addict or mentally ill because he freaked out and ripped my wallet out of my hand and then stabbed me in the chest.

I fell back to the ground screaming in pain, screaming for someone to help me, I managed to get the words 'I'm dying' out before I blacked out.

I heard the voices, and thought am I dying? is this what happens when you die? With their strange accent, they asked me more questions, again apologetic in tone, and the nightmare began. I began to re-live the hell of that pain over and over again. Feeling the searing heat of the knife penetrating my chest shortly turning numb. The feeling of my hot blood leaking from my chest. My lifeblood flowing away drip by drip.

I screamed, I cried, I begged. Anything to make it stop. And again the voices, apologetic conveying that it would all be over soon, and all would be made right.

I woke up in a sweat, what a nightmare, I haven't had one that unpleasant in some time. I stretched up out of bed and felt a slight twinge on my chest and back. looking down I saw that my diaper was soaked. Big surprise....

Hopping into the shower, the warm water felt tender on my chest, I looked carefully and saw very faint scar there. As I touched my chest with the soapy wash cloth in my hand. I recalled what I thought was my nightmare from the night before.

I fell to the floor of the shower. What happened?

if I *was* mugged and stabbed, how come I'm here, safe at home without any injuries? Why then is my wallet on the bedside table? and how did I get diapered?

I crawled out of the shower in shock, wrapping a towel around my waist I looked at my wallet, on the inside, a very small drop on the edge of a $20.00 was blood, this was a crisp one from the bank machine 2 days ago. Where the hell did the blood come from if I wasn't mugged? This scar on my chest? What is going on? am I loosing my mind? I looked for my clothes, No-where in sight.

I got very scared.

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more to follow

[BoTox]

thanks BoTox now if only i had some ideas for a title... anyone?? title ideas?

and coments too please!!

Off the top of my head, I think of things like:

(Funny Ones)

Illegal Aliens Put Me In Diapers!

Pissed At Area 51

In Depends Days

My Guardian Angel Can't Get A Green Card

(Serious Ones)

The Reluctant Test Subject

Alien Intervention

The 20(or whatever length of time) Year Nightmare

The Wet Crush

An Out-of-this-world Diaper Change

[restlessfox]

great story! some of it gave me chills an that doesn't happen often. good blend of story telling and diaper stuff too.

i have a few ideas on the name, not sure how good they are, i'm buzzing on nyquil at the moment. some are jokes some are serious. it's hard to figure out where this story is going so some of these might not fit. i'm just writing them down as they come to mind.

ethereal intervention

diapered deity

the life long dream

voices

my mommy is a ghost!

a bedwetter's rise to power!

lunatic fringe

astral abena

i'm fate's bitch

peyote before bedtime

twin tower toddler

border hoppers of the astral plane

[Eagle0769]

darkforest,

For your first attemed at a story, it was great. You must be a wrter. Because you expressed your words into the story and I could feel what you must have be tring to explain. Is Sarah coming back? Hope so I think she likes wearing a diaper with you. If so turn the buzzer off the washing machine if you wash any cloths. Great job. Is there more I hope pleassse.

Baby Jay NY

[fideliuscharm]

darkforest,

For your first attemed at a story, it was great. You must be a wrter. Because you expressed your words into the story and I could feel what you must have be tring to explain. Is Sarah coming back? Hope so I think she likes wearing a diaper with you. If so turn the buzzer off the washing machine if you wash any cloths. Great job. Is there more I hope pleassse.

Baby Jay NY

Thanks for the feedback. I'm not a writer, this is my first attempt at writing anything since school going on 10 years ago now. As for Sarah, we'll just have to wait and see, And yeah, I think Will learned his lesson from that experience about annoying washing machine buzzers.

I'm not sure if anyone will like this next part, It may be a little dark and off topic (of ab/dl) but I promise its worth waiting for the rest of this story, once I finally get it written.

Part 3

Preface:

I'll switch points of view here from mine to my therapists point of view, Gail suggested that this record of events would make more sense if I wrote it also showing how others in my life viewed what was going on.

October 15th 2001

Will came to me as a somewhat unique patient, he had dual referrals, one from the red-cross crisis worker suggesting he'd benefit from some counseling for survivors guilt, and one from his GP, for PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder). In my line of work often a patient will have multiple issues that they need help with, and often survivors guilt and PTSD go hand in hand. I figured at first that the usual techniques would help Will to maintain some semblance of balance and normalcy to his life, at least that was until he started to tell me what happened.

At first I thought he was suffering from severe guilt, He clearly had two distinct memories, one before the attack, and one after. I thought that the shock and stress had caused the first memory to be 'created' from his short-term memory of his daily routines. Will was obviously upset about this difference.

'Will, sometimes when people experience a terrible shock, as a protection measure, their mind will alter their memories to protect them. In some cases it will even cause people to black out the memories completely. Some people will probably have no recollection of the 11th because it will be too painful.' I could see that Will was stressed, my comment did little to help. It was one of those stumbling blocks he'd need to work through.

He started to shiver and his face got pale. I was about to ask if he was alright when he spoke, 'Gail, Its not the first time though...'

'What do you mean its not the first time?' I asked, as I flipped to a fresh page on the note-pad.

Will began quietly, I'm not sure they're the same thing. When I was in high school, some friends and I were messing around with some whiskey, and pot. I remember all three of us in the car, we were driving to a swimming hole outside of town, then the next thing I know, the car's been hit, and then I black out and wake up at home. I found out that day both of my friends in the car were killed. at the time, I attributed it to being high and just wrote it off as being coincidence figuring that it was a dream or something. After the 11th though, I'm not so sure.'

I jotted down notes as he talked. 'What about the 11th makes you doubt it? I asked.

'I realized I had the dream' Will said slowly as if testing the validity of his own words.

I wrote 'the dream? in bold with underlines. 'The dream? tell me about it' I told him.

'Its a common link between all three events, each time something happened, I had a dream similar to the nightmares I had as a child'

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life happened. will finish tihs part tomorrow.