How To Buy?

[WiiBaby]

Well, currently I live with my parents, and I don't have access to a car. Also, they have access to both my bank account, and PayPal account <_ what would be the best way to get diapers shipped here without them knowing all help is greatly appreciated... src="<img%20src='http://www.dailydiapers.com/board/uploads/emoticons/default_smile.png'%20alt=''%20class='ipsImage'%20%20>" alt=":)">

--Brandon

[Guest diamondback688]

ok...if you are really 18, then your parents should not have access to your bank account or PayPal account...when i turned 18, one of the first things i did was remove the trustee of my savings account...

[WiiBaby]

It's a joint account because it's easier to pay them for my car (I'm buying their old Toyota,) and I'm still in High School 'till June. They've told me that when I move for college I'd have my own account. And as for the PayPal thing, same problem, they will see who the payment was made out to via a bank statement... Thanks for the help, though.

[justindiapers]

If you can find a online store that will take a money order, withdraw cash from your bank account and use that cash to pay for a money order. (money orders are sold at a lot of places, like gas stations and supermarkets) The only thing that will show up on your bank account statement is a cash withdrawal.

Alternatively, you could buy diapers locally using the cash. The selection might be more limited, but since you live in the Bay Area, I would think that you could find a pharmacy that sells one of the better brands.

[WiiBaby]

I'll have to try the cash order thing, and if anyone knows of a store that sells better quality diapers in the Bay, I'd be great if you could tell me about it. Thanks a bunch, and I'll be sure to try a money order!

--Brandon

[pvc_pants]

Go to your phone book and look up "medical supply" or "hospital supply" stores. These stores carry better diapers than the large chain stores. That way you can pay with cash. Plus if there was a certain diaper you wanted I bet they would special order for you...

[WiiBaby]

I'll have to do that while my parents are out tonight... Thanks a ton for the advice! ^______^

--Brandon

[AutieAB]

And as for the PayPal thing, same problem, they will see who the payment was made out to via a bank statement... Thanks for the help, though.

Are you sure about that? My bank statements only show "PAYPAL LTD , SAN JOSE" No mention of the recipient.

[Juliabam]

It's a joint account because it's easier to pay them for my car (I'm buying their old Toyota,) and I'm still in High School 'till June. They've told me that when I move for college I'd have my own account. And as for the PayPal thing, same problem, they will see who the payment was made out to via a bank statement... Thanks for the help, though.

So you're actually paying for the car right now, and still don't have access to it ??? I think you should sit down and have a serious chat with your parents about your driving needs, and based on the situation that you atleast have paid some of the car already, they should realize that you should be entitled to use it atleast now and then....

[WiiBaby]

It's partially my fault that I can't use it. Originally I was to get my car on my 16th B-Day, due to good grades. Well, right after my B-Day the winter report cards were issued, and my GPA was a pathetic 1.67. The car was taken away, and they told me I had to buy it off them, and maintain a 3.00 for insurance. I also couldn't drive it until it was paid for. This only added to my depression at the time, so it wasn't until mid-junior year that my grades got better. Come Februrary I'll have enough to pay them for it. They also grew up in San Francisco, and believe all "kids" should be forced to walk everywhere. That and we live in a particularly small town, and all the stores are only about a mile away...

@ Auntie: I thought purchases through Pay Pal showed up as who you paid? (Ex: diaperstore@mail.com)

--Brandon

[AutieAB]

I thought purchases through Pay Pal showed up as who you paid? (Ex: diaperstore@mail.com)

Dunno actually. Paypal is a complicated beast. I'm assuming that when you said that your parents have access to your Paypal account that you meant they'd see on your bank statements not that they know your Paypal password? If that's the case then change it!

The detail pages for all my Paypal transactions have written near the bottom that This credit card transaction will appear on your bill as "PAYPAL *SKYPE". (where Skype was the payee). But on my (British) bank statements, they all show up as just an ordinary card transaction as "Paypal Ltd, San Jose"

TBH, I think that if you really want some privacy, it's time to have chat with your parents. At 18, they really shouldn't be monitoring your spending without good reason. In my opinion, anyway...

AutieAB.

[WiiBaby]

TBH, I think that if you really want some privacy, it's time to have chat with your parents. At 18, they really shouldn't be monitoring your spending without good reason. In my opinion, anyway...

AutieAB.

I think the real issue with them is wanting me to move out, plus they've always had a problem with respecting my privacy. Whenever I try to talk to them about it they agree, but soon after they continue with their old habits. The only real strong point I can use in this situation is the fact that I've never drank or done drugs. (I've tried the I'm 18, I'm an adult thing and I get this response: "While you live in our house, you live under our rules!.") They always laugh, or shrug it off, as if I were joking or something... am I doing something wrong here?

--Brandon

[beallucanb]

Well as I see it, your either going to have to sneak around, and do what you want, or find a diaper buddy in your area for you to visit, and do your thing, or your going to have to wait untill you get you own appartment, or go away to school, everthing I did at home, had to be when no one was around, or I had to do it in the privacy of my room, which wasn't very private at all, my room was above the living room in a very small very old house, and you could hear everthing, I am sure they heard me more than once, and I used to get "what are you doing", standard answer "Nothing", so my advice just cool it and do it when you have the house to your self, or start going places and doing what you want....good luck...B

[Necros]

I think the real issue with them is wanting me to move out, plus they've always had a problem with respecting my privacy. Whenever I try to talk to them about it they agree, but soon after they continue with their old habits. The only real strong point I can use in this situation is the fact that I've never drank or done drugs. (I've tried the I'm 18, I'm an adult thing and I get this response: "While you live in our house, you live under our rules!.") They always laugh, or shrug it off, as if I were joking or something... am I doing something wrong here?

--Brandon

D: OMG!!! I SOOOOO know your pain. Man parents can be a pain sometimes! I get the same fucking answer every time i start talking about having my own bank account and stuff of the sort. I too have to wait until i move out which will be close to June or August. Can't wait!!

What i did to quench my diaper thirst was get a big ass trunk with a lock. For a few days i did nothing with it, and then i started locking it to see if they would get curious and try to open it, they asked about it and i just told them that this trunk was for all my private stuff like diaries and photos of friends and good memories for me and me alone. They thought it was cute and accepted it, after i was sure they wouldn't try opening it i went out to the pharmacy and bought some diapers, and of course hid them in the trunk. It works like a charm!

For the money part heres a little trick i use. Your parents monitor your bank account right? Me too lol! Heres what i do. You plan this a few weeks in advance to make it appear as natural as possible. Ok, what are you into? Music, drawing, reading, anything thats small and that you've been doing as a hobby? Then what you do is go online or at a store search for an item thats related to your hobby i.e a book or drawing tools. Then without giving TOO much details tell your parents about this "item" you would wish to acquire and don't put too much emphasis on what it is or where your gonna get it just say its gonna be at a local store and you would like to buy it, tell them about the price, now heres the cool part: lets say the diapers cost 40$ (exaggeration of course), when you talk about the item to your parents tell them it costs around 45$ to 50$ then tell them that they should be expecting a withdrawal in your bank account for this purchase. Then when everything is said and done you've got a clear 45$ to spend on this "item" that you of course will be diapers. Now to make this work completely with the remaining money go to your local shop thats related to your hobby and buy a small something that looks cool and new and just pass it off IF (and only if) your parents ask to see this item you bought for 45$. Voila! You've got yourself a pack of diapers without any suspicion.

For the online thing its more complicated because you need to get a P.O box of your own and probably bump off your parents from your paypal account.

Anyways good luck!!! I feel for you brother

Necros~

[WiiBaby]

@ Necros: That's exactly what I did -- tell them I'm buying something (I'm a huge anime fan so I tell them I'm buying more anime.) then I would use the money for Depends. Plus I have so many anime DVD's I just tell them that it came, and show them an old one. As for the trunk, I don't have room now, so I've been using old hollowed out PC game boxes, and airsoft gun boxes. Unfortunately, this means I can only store around 10 at a time. Thanks for the advice, Necros. Nice to see someone else here can understand. Great minds think alike, eh?

Now the only problem is I can't sneak out of the house long enough to buy diapers. I used to just cut class, but I really need good grades. I figured if I bought online I could get away with it, until I really thought it through. I seem to be running out of options. If anyone is here in the Bay, please feel free to PM me! I'm feeling really lonely lately...

--Brandon

[Morv]

If you're 18, open your own bank account without your parents name on it.

I don't know how gutsy you are, so there are several ways you could go.

1) Save up cash to open the new account and don't tell your parents about it. You can have more than one bank account.

2) Withdraw the money from the joint account -- I don't know if you need their signature to withdraw or not. If so that would be a problem. Anyway, withdraw money from old account, and put it into the new account.

As far as your parents and your privacy, try the following logic with them:

Fairly soon you are going to be moving out, and they will not be able to check in on you. You are at a stage where you are trying to prepare for this change, as you are legally an adult now. When the time comes that you move out, you want to be able to still trust them if you need support and to talk to them about anything, and hopefully, they want you to be prepared for this situation. The inbetween step would be for them to allow you a little more freedom (namely, them not invading your privacy without just cause-- and that being something that they discuss with you before they invade your privacy), but still being in close proximity to you (namely, living in the same house). You need to learn how to live without them peeking into your world without your permission, and you need to be able to trust them enough so that once you move out, if you need to talk to them, you will feel that you can trust them. Stress the fact that if they can't demonstrate enough trust in you to allow you privacy, you may not have enough trust in them after you move out to contact them if you have a problem you have to trust them with to help you solve it.

Also consider asking them what they see their job as parents being. Do they see their job as parents to prepare you to be an adult, or to simply try and protect their own interests until you are no longer a liability to them? (A good follow up to this, if they answer in an unsatisfactory manner would be questions such as, "Do you love me and want to help me grow up, or do you want to coddle me so that when I am on my own I won't have a clue what I'm doing and don't trust you enough to come back to you for help? Do you want to set me up for success by giving me experience or set me up for failure by shielding me from reality?")

If you want to strengthen your argument, I suggest you consider and be aware of the following. (I work in the human services/mental health business, so I know the following first hand.) If you are institutionalized, even against your will, you have a right to privacy. You have the right to be present and notified if your personal space (dresser, closet, bed, etc.) is being searched, unless the reason for the search is a concern for the safety of yourself or another (and that means an immediate threat -- they think you have a gun, or a knife or something, not that they think you are writing or reading or looking at things that would be bad for your state of mind.) If the reason is a matter of safety, then it must be fully documented, including time, people involved, reasons, results, and specifics of what was searched.

Also, institutionalized individuals also have a right to manage their own finances. Said finances may be watched over by those in a position of authority, but the most that can be done is to advise clients to how to spend their money -- they cannot be forced to spend it in one way or another. They can spend it on anything they wish to, which even goes as far as them purchasing pornography with it, as long as they do not display said pornography in a way that exposes others unwillingly.

Currently, as your parents search your personal area and control your finances, you have less rights than someone who is schizophrenic, ADHD, bi-polar, and downsyndrome.

I hope that it opens your eyes, any of you, who live at home, that people committed by a judge's order have more rights than what your parents are allowing you.

Your parents need to trust you, and you need to trust them.

[WiiBaby]

Thanks for all the info, Morv! I'll try the bank account thing, and as for talking with them I tried (and failed) last night. So I'll have to wait a while before trying again, but I'll be sure to use some of the info you gave me. Hopefully, this time, they'll listen...

--Brandon

[Necros]

@ Necros: That's exactly what I did -- tell them I'm buying something (I'm a huge anime fan so I tell them I'm buying more anime.) then I would use the money for Depends. Plus I have so many anime DVD's I just tell them that it came, and show them an old one. As for the trunk, I don't have room now, so I've been using old hollowed out PC game boxes, and airsoft gun boxes. Unfortunately, this means I can only store around 10 at a time. Thanks for the advice, Necros. Nice to see someone else here can understand. Great minds think alike, eh?

Now the only problem is I can't sneak out of the house long enough to buy diapers. I used to just cut class, but I really need good grades. I figured if I bought online I could get away with it, until I really thought it through. I seem to be running out of options. If anyone is here in the Bay, please feel free to PM me! I'm feeling really lonely lately...

--Brandon

Hehe well sneaking out can be a breeze trust me. If you have some stealth skills you could always try and sneak out at night. I mean pharmacies are open pretty late (in canada anyways ...)

As for the hiding, well if you have a suspended ceiling you could always lift a few tiles and hide some diapers there. If you don't have a suspended ceiling then search for your nearest gas bar that has a bathroom with locks so you can have privacy, then just unpack you diapers you just bought and put the excess over the tile ceiling. (yeah the gas bar would have to have suspended ceiling ...). If the above doesn't work then try the following: If you have baseboards in your room, or preferably in the closet, go get a hammer and gently without breaking the baseboard or chipping away the paint remove a part from ether side of your closet. You will see that the wall and the floor doesn't exactly meet at a 90 degree angle, theres probably gonna be a crack between the floor and the bottom of the wall, use this hammer you have in your hand and start chipping away the base of the wall until you can put your hand through (be careful not to chip away too much! The baseboard must be able to cover the hole made, if not then your in deep doo doo.). After you've done this you should be able to see a couple things 1) Isolation 2) a pretty sizable gap between the other wall and yours 3) Depending on the house, plastic covering the wooden elements. What you do is take away the isolation, careful its itchy lol. VOILA You have a pretty big space to put diapers in. DONT FORGET THE ISOLATION!!!! :

I did all those and it worked very much in my case

Cool so your into anime huh! Awesome one more thing we have in common. My fav animes at the moment is Death Note, Ergo Proxy, Lain, Speed Grapher and Basilisk. Whats yours?

Necros~

[WiiBaby]

My house sucks! We have no removable boards, ceiling pices, etc. I do usually buy at night, but not only am I sick of Depends, there is only one store I can buy at! Plus it's always crowded. (K-Mart.)

As for anime, I'm currently big on Dectective Conan, Rurouni Kenshin, GiTS: SAC, and yes, I'll admit it, Poke'mon. I saw the FMA movie, which was the end of the series, recently. I loved FMA, it's one of the shorter greats. (51 Eps, 1 movie) I've been wanting to get some of the old Gundam Wing, and DBZ DVDs, but I can't seem to find them! I'm always open to new anime, even the kiddy ones. When I get some more cash I'd love to try something new!

--Brandon

[Dill_Pickle]

My house sucks! We have no removable boards, ceiling pices, etc. I do usually buy at night, but not only am I sick of Depends, there is only one store I can buy at! Plus it's always crowded. (K-Mart.)

Wiibaby:

It's time you grew up. Get your own bank account -- you are 18, just go to a bank and open the account with about $100. Look for a place that offers free checking. The bank won't care if your parents are or are not involved. Once you have a bank account, you should be able to open a paypal account, although I generally won't do business with merchants that require it. Be prepared to present your social security card. (you need that for a job, anyway)

Manage that checking account carefully. Your ability to get things like credit cards depends on you not bouncing checks.

You didn't say where you were getting your $$. In your case, push on your grades rather than an immediate job. It sounds like your parents aren't really letting you have the money they are "giving" you.

Money orders are a perfectly practical way of ordering diapers online. I have done it, for privacy reasons, with both XP medical (www.xpmedical.com) and ABAIP (www.abaip.com). After the money orders arrived, both shipped promptly and discretely, and have resulted in no junk mail. I just worked up my order on-line until I had the total charges, then printed it out and sent it along with the money order.

I also have a "Private Mailbox", which is at a place that now calls itself "The UPS Store". This costs about $12 per month, and accepts packages from any carrier which I then pick up at the counter. The same thing at the post office costs about $10 per year, but you are then locked into USPS as the shipper, which may be a problem with some dealers.

Me, I'd rather be walking -- there's lots of evidence that walking and/or bicycling is way better for you than driving, and even more evidence that exercising regularly is super important for general health. Unfortunately, I end up in the car all the time...as work is 20 miles away and I live in the countryside. You, in the bay area, can probably get there on the bus or on BART. Walking is also a good way to get some private time -- where were you? Walking home. What took you? I needed some X from the store, so I detoured to K-mart. You told me we needed Toilet paper, so I brought some home. I ran out of comet (scrubs the tub), so I bought a can. They said that eating fresh veggetables was really good, so I went to the grocery and bought some beets to try.

P.S. Depends works best if you get a Tena/Serenity Ultimate (or close to it) pad and stick it in the front of the Depends. Poise pads are distinctly inferior -- even my GF complains about how they fall apart.

PPS. Surely you have an attic (through a hatch) or crawlspace where your parents hardly ever go. Heck, can you use the trunk of that car? (And I hope SOMEONE has been driving that car a bit -- cars don't like to sit for more than a month or so without bad things going on, like flat batteries, water in the fuel, etc. -- if noone has been driving it, I strongly suggest a mechanic be informed of what happened and change all the fluids and inspect the tires and other things before you even try to start it). I also hope you have been driving at least every now and then -- driving, like all skills, is best with at least some regular practice. I'd expect at least some restrictions, though -- I wasn't free of a curfew unless I was walking or at college with a car.

PPPS. In my culture, a car on the 16th birthday is a recipe for trouble. Not sure how to react to them taking it away like that -- it makes me a little worried that they might take it away again. OTOH, you gave them a reason to do it -- whatever unmentioned thing it was that caused your grades to plummet.

PPPPS. If your bank account isn't private, then neither is your computer, and this will be a source of trouble. Get a different browser, such as Opera or Firefox, and erase your tracks when you visit places like this. Make sure you have to know something in order to start the different browser; don't leave the icon on the desktop. Be sure to leave tracks in the main browser wherever you go. Even if your parents don't know how to look today, they may be suddenly become slightly informed tomorrow.

PPPPPS. As part of growing up, help out with the household chores -- dishes, laundry, shopping, dinner, yardwork, whatever. You will need to know how to do these when you leave home, and it will lessen pressure from your parents, as well as give you something to offer them and to gently remind them you are no longer a child. You don't want to be my dad, who, one day when I was visiting home, made my underwear pink by throwing my red t-shirt from the floor into the hot water cycle I was washing my socks in.

For the not respecting your privacy, how about this: You know, a couple of weeks/months ago, you said you shouldn't be doing (whatever), but now you are doing it again. How about we write down the house rules? How about we talk about how I'm going to support myself when I graduate?

(yes, they are their rules, but you are an adult, and you deserve to know what they are and not have them imposed on a whim, and one of them is that your room is YOURS -- they can ask for the floor to be picked up, but marching in and snooping through it is not allowed. They can also ask for either good grades or rent from you).

A written contract is a very adult thing to ask for. It binds all parties to their words, and allows for much more accurate recall of what was said and agreed to. It is a natural tendency of human beings to modify their memories a little bit each time they are recalled, in their favor, and your parents seem to have a need to do this with respect to your privacy.

[WiiBaby]

I plan on opening an account when I can, I'm also trying to plan out a mail order. As for public transportation, I live in a small town, (which I won't name due to paranoia) so it's very limited. When I used to sneak out, it was by bicycle.

I can't use the car, and our house has only a crawl space, but my parents use it for storage. My reason for the grades dropping was a rather severe depression that has resurfaced recently. I don't use a computer to surf, I figured that out a long time ago. I've been using my Nintendo Wii for all my posting, and it's powered by Opera.

I've tried all means of talking to them, including a contract, but it never sinks in. Apparently to them I'll always be a child. Thanks for all the suggestions, I need all the help I can get!

--Brandon

[MommyMichelle]

Well aside from the whole parent/bank acct thing, I am going to address the original question--how to buy.....

Get some cash, go to Eckards, Walgreens, Radio shack, Rite Aid --- get yourself a prepaid credit card--you give them cash, they give you a visa or MC.

Then you can just go to amazon and buy them......

They don't send a statement since it is prepaid so you are good to go.

[WiiBaby]

...You've left me speech-less. I was just in Safeway looking at those last week, the thought didn't even cross my mind! I'm definately going to have to get one A.S.A.P! Thanks a ton, Michelle ^________^

--Brandon

[Incomplete Dude]

I'm in a similar situation, although I have my own bank account (and a large line of credit too). However, I have no credit card and no car, and can't get either any time soon. Moreover, I live in a family of 6, and there's virtually always someone home. My question is, say I did order something online, then a mysterious box comes to the door, and what will the others do? They'll ask what it is, probably want to see it themselves, probably demand to. Now, you have a problem, and the same goes if you bought such a package in-person. Any solutions? Keep in mind, I live in a suburban sprawl, so pretty much everything is driving distance, unless you like walking near 1h each way.

Still, how big are the packages? Can they indiscreetly fit into a backpack? If so, maybe I could make do with public transit, and get it in my room. However, what then? I once bought an Xbox behind their back for like $500CAD, and after a month they found it hidden in my desk under a bunch of paper. My dad was looking for a protractor apparently. I mean, if anyone that knows me decently well reads this paragraph, they would likely realize who is behind this alias, so in fact, there's no garuntee of anything, imho.

btw, you can just walk into any bank and open an account if you're 18. Just ask that they don't mail you statements, and you're parents will never know a thing. In fact, It would probably be illegal for them to prevent you from doing this. Then, just deposit your spare change into to it, until you have enough.

[Morv]

When you order online, many places will ship discretely, or at least indicate which, if any products ship discretely. Also recall that shipments usually have return addresses even if they lack other information, and a sender address that includes something like "XP Medical" might raise some eyebrows if family members saw them.

Store packages aren't always small and it depends on the size of your backpack. Go to the store and take a look yourself. There's no reason not to just go investigate your options -- research your intended purchase. It also might make it a little easier when you finally buy them.

The prepaid credit card is a good idea. Once again, do some research. Some of them charge you more than others for the honor of using their service.