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But my wife doesnt know.

This is a recipe for disaster. If she doesn't know this side of you, then she'll feel betrayed you withheld this from her. Marriage is about trust and love. The children are her priority now, but when you got married, you each were each other's priority. The way to tell her is in the privacy and intimacy of you too having a private moment away from the children and hustle and bustle of being parents. Take her to a nice dinner, have a drink or two, nothing in excess. When you take her home, tell her you have something to discuss when you get home, but don't allow her to get it out of you before you both get home. At home, wait on her and get her a glass of wine and ask if she's comfortable. Make sure you pay particular attention to body language.

Tell her you have a secret you've been keeping from her, but know you have to let it out. This will more than likely make her defensive and on her guard thinking you're having an affair. Assure her that she's the only one in your love life, but you have a deep dark secret you've been keeping from her and you want to come clean. Tell her you love her body and your children, but you want more from the relationship. Tell her you're a submissive, you need her to take charge and you'll be willing to guide her in this. If she's submissive also, this may be problematic, but if she's like many mothers, she will accept it and start slowly changing. Tell her you are jealous of the attention the children get from her. She may suggest "do you want me to put you in diapers too?" Look into her eyes and tell her, "if it

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@Fulldiaper

I don't know if I'd use the word "jealous" but I do agree with most of the things you're saying.
I would try to avoid transmiting the idea of you -a fully grown man- is jealous of your very own child since it could make your wife think that you might want to replace their place.

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