Guest Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I found this comment on a website - I was crying with laughter and had to post After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat. I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned . Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me. This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect... Link to comment
repetitivediaperwetter88 Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 someone had to have been trolling. lol! Too funny though! Link to comment
Guest Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 Nope, no trolling going on here, I was looking to buy some hair removal cream on-line and started to read the posts, saw this and couldn't stop laughing and had to post Link to comment
kevindhca Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 So funny, thanks for that. Did you order some?????? Link to comment
freddie84 Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 wow i laughed and laughed so hard my belly hurts now...most work they have done in a while...that was a great post Link to comment
square_duck Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Yup, thats pretty funny there is another one about a guy in a public bathroom and how his efforts affected the guy in the next stall....now THAT one is hilarious! I'll try and find it and post it....fun fun stuff Link to comment
BabyLock Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Cold Icy water and lots and lots of it. Do not apply any creams; ointments; petroleum gel; soaps; butter or anything else that comes to mind ! After the hair is removed same prescription do not try any of the previous mentioned especially under arm deodorant after shave or body lotion. Let nature take its course for a day or two and then ease back into normal body care. Waxing would have been much better without the lingering unstoppable pain of chemicals. Lasering would have been a walk in the park ! And electrolysis much too time consuming and expensive. Or the cheap way out tweezering each and every hair one by one - to come back later and do it all over ! So what where you thinking - ah yes that special something for milady but what a hilarious presentation !!!!! NOT so much LOL ! Link to comment
Baby Drew Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 The original review is here, along with quite a few other comical ones. Enjoy. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-Removal-Creme/dp/B000KKNQBK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1387272878&sr=8-1&keywords=veet+for+men Link to comment
TBlazer Posted December 18, 2013 Share Posted December 18, 2013 Haha ya that story reminded me of http://www.insiderinternetdating.com/blog/internet-dating-tips/how-to-screw-up-a-first-date-epic-fail/ which was originally posted on some body building forum but has since been removed. I have a feeling the hair removal is a troll story as well, but theyre both good. Nothing like harassing meat head dude bros who are more feminine than they realize. Link to comment
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