Structure and Punishments...

[Sooosaaan]

I could really use some suggestive feedback about something. I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. Well, I've been struggling with proper punishment for when he has done something naughty. He hates the corner and time out in his playpen. Pretty much, if he is left alone, he gets very emotional. His response to being left alone is understandable. I have spanked him before, but I prefer not to hit as a punishment. I absolutely want to wash his mouth out with soap at times or wear his bottom out, but I don't think it would be productive to lesson learning.

[Gennie]

Need to have a little more information on your baby.

[Sooosaaan]

The age he reverts to isn't specified, but quite infantile. He is very capable of being an adult in or outside of play, when need be. Wanting to wash his mouth out with soap isn't necessarily about his language, but a desire to find punishment that focuses towards the little versus the adult.

[Gennie]

I wonder about the D/s dynamic.

[pax87]

I'm not an expert. In fact I'm more little in the mommy baby dynamic. And though this has not been used on me, I've heard it very useful.

Typically, for actual children, the time used in time out is set based on age times 2 mins. But having a bigger baby needs a more effective time. I understand the emotional stress that time out causes. You put your baby in the corner and walk away? This causes a feeling of abandonment. Little space is a very vulnerable place. So emotional reactions tend to be very raw. If your baby doesn't like time out, good, he's not supposed to. Especially if you genuinely want the discipline to stick! I would start there. When he is about to be punished, explain this is the consequence of his actions and he can choose to not be there again by behaving or he can visit it often for naughtiness. But rather than leave him alone. Explain you are going to sit nearby(a book will be handy) so he won't be left alone. It's sucky that you'd have to wait with him cuz I'm sure you have other things to do. Afterwards maybe explain that you both had to stop everything so he can decide if he wants to be a good boy or not.

Also, reward charts are good for showing how happy you are when he is a good boy. I'd pick a few daily things, chores, attitude, helpfulness, etc, that can be noticed daily. For every good day, a sticker. Bad days get nothing. At the end of the week, preferably same day each week cuz babies need consistency, especially in behavior modification. Then tally up the stars. I'd say 6/7 would qualify as a good boy week. No one is perfect. Rewards are easy to pick from. Maybe have a jar of things he want and things you are willing to give him and let him pick from there or even just choose. Money doesn't have to be spent either. I'm betting he craves your attention. If so, a baby massage is great after a bath. A special movie night at home with a picnic in front of the tv with pizza. Etc.

Personalize his rewards to his tastes, emphasize how happy you are when your baby has good behavior when he normally would revert to the behavior you worked to change. Praise is huge and littles eat that up!

I recommend this because your little has more understanding than an actual 1yr old. So this punishment is still little enough to appease the mommy/baby dynamic but will get through to him. I hope that helps you out some. If I'm way off in helping... I'm sorry. Like I said, I'm a little too, lol.

Paxy

[Sooosaaan]

@Paxy: Wonderful advice! Thank you so much. You gave a lot of insight and correlation to effective behavior modification for a little/AB who can mentally comprehend on an adult level within play. I think we will try this system out this week. I have been wanting to make a chart for some time, but have been lacking in doing so. I know structure is a good thing, but I find myself a lenient Mommy most time, in play and real life.

[pax87]

Anytime! It's ok to be lenient! No one wants a mommy who's super by the book with rules. I'm glad I could help you! keep me posted on how things work for you!

[alexinpink]

Writing lines, though it's usual for bigger kids, can reinforce modified behavior. Have your baby use crayons, and if he's right handed, use his left hand (or vice versa) to print the rules: Baby must always obey Mommy. Mommy knows what's best for baby, etc. This keeps him occupied and the repitition really does reinforce the words. D/s can certainly fit in this relationship because a Mommy both punishes and comforts--and She sets the rules!

[nanamartinez]

Hmm... Never thought to try writing lines.

[BabyLock]

Mandatory Diapers - other Clothing Optional

Ah just melt some Exlax and pour it on his vanilla ice cream - then fasten(LOCK)his double diapered diaper cover and then say

such sweet nothings about good kids behave themselves and those that do not get their bad habits flushed out of them.

Cleaning up after his act will take a rash of time.

For a more rapid turn around in behavior fix him a lemon flavored cocktail (magnesium citrate) and then restrict his

movements to a more suitable place other than the bathroom. The message will be forthcoming messing around will be messy !

Even more impact can be obtained by doing this in a public place during prime time. The message here is bad behavior will

be put on display for all to take note !

[Fulldiaper]

Spanking bare bottom may be extreme, but what about on his wet or soiled diaper? This will draw attention to whom is in control, and the one in diapers! Also, the sound is deafening. Also, a swift swat in public, while he is diapered makes a very distinct THUD or WHUMP.

[Honu]

In little space, yes, discipline him like you would a chronological child. He is an adult and you may want to consider negotiating a Female Led Relationship (FLR) while he's in adult mode. This is not hard core S&M, just an acknowledgement that you are allowed to discipline him when he needs however you see fit. This gives you an outlet for some of the tension that is building and addresses the other times, in big space. Good luck!