May Have Been Found Out

[FretaBWet]

I have a bedside table with drawers in which I keep my pacifier and sometimes diapers or plastic pants. When I get up in the morning I put my pacifier in the bottom drawer and wrap up my used diaper and put it in the trash can in the kitchen so it goes out to the dumpster when I leave. This is my routine and it works well except when something happens to upset the routine.

Saturday is my only day off so when I got home from work Friday I thought I'd try my hand at creating a double disposable diaper by ripping the leg gathers off one diaper and putting it inside a second diaper. I flubbed up my attempt so I rolled up the clean botched diaper and threw it in the trash basket next to my toilet in the master bathroom. Because the diaper was not used and I wasn't worried about it smelling I deviated from my routine which was big mistake number one. I never throw diapers in that basket so I forgot all about it. I went to bed on Saturday night aqnd was using my pacifier and before I fell asleep I put it on the bedside table. I woke up Sunday morning and had to be at work at seven and I forgot to put my pacifier back in the drawer so it was sitting right there in the open in front of my clock radio, big mistake number two. I leave my bedroom door open to the hall and the table right in front of the door. This wouldn't matter usually because my roomate knows everything so if she saw it she'd just laugh.

Sunday was my Granddaughter's birthday so the family came over after work and we seven went out to dinner while my roommate was at the casino for the evening. My family hung out for a while at my apartment afterwards and then they went home. I went into my bathroom since I wasn't diapered and I noticed the lid was up on my toilet. I have a cat so neither me or my roommate ever leave the lid up on our toilets so I realized someone had used my bathroom which was normal. Then I noticed the diaper in the trash in plain view right beside the toilet. Oh well, maybe no one noticed because no one said anything or acted funny.

When I went to bed diaperd nicely I opened the bottom drawer of my bedside table to get out my pacifier and it wasn't there. I turned on the light and there was my paci sitting right on top of the table where I'd left it the night before. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh first the diaper now my paci. I'm not going to say anything and just pretend it never happened. Chances are just as good nobody noticed so I'm just not going to waste my energy worrying about it.

Hugs,

Freta

[Kapitan]

People don't notice much unless something draws their attention to it, or they're weird like me and tend to randomly inspect everything in their surroundings out of interest. If no one acted weird, no one probably noticed! Plus on the side of the pacifier, they're pretty small and it was in your room - A place people are unlikely to venture during a family gathering. Plus, in the small chance someone did notice, if it's never brought up they'll probably just forget! I've left my pacifier on my desk in my front room with family & friends round and no one noticed it, even people who specifically know my 'interests' and knew I'd just got it a week or so prior.

Short version; S'all good xD

[Eir]

Honestly Freta, the mind has a way of pushing out stray details. Do you make a big deal out of someone wearing a cross necklace, having a big butt, wearing a walking crane, or someone leaving a condom in an indiscrete place. While obviously in your case it is obvious who these things belong to, there is a chance that two and two may not be put together. In fact your friends and family may willfully ignore it so they can pretend they do not know a "weirdo." In the same manner, no one makes a big deal of what is in the bottle that grandpa is drinking from a brown paper bag. I believe this is true of other but not myself. Which is weird. I know the maintanence guys have seen my diapers, the plethora of glow stars in my side closet, and on one occasion, my paccifier. I just figure they have seen it all.

[curiositykilledthecat]

I wouldn't worry

[babyleanna75]

I have been caught numerous times either wearing or found new or used diapers. At first it was really bad but now not so much. Just little embarrassing. But I get over it. And other will laugh but not in youre face. They may tell friends. But you know what I don't care. Let them talk I think there weird and don't know what their missing.

[Bettypooh]

Yikes! I hope for the 'nothing' with you Freta. I doubt the diaper in the trash drew more than a glance. Most would think you had a friend with a baby over and hadn't emptied it, at worst making you look slovenly, not anything ABDL The paci is an entirely different matter. Ravers, who are generally young, would think you had joined them and wonder why. Anyone else would have a 'WTF?' moment I too aim for discretion, as you all know. But just as with anything, there's more than one side to it. There is nothing more freeing than not having to hide anymore. That can bring other problems, but at least they won't be hidden and catch you off-guard either. It's the difference between walking through a minefield and staggering somewhat beaten and battered down a well-lit sidewalk I'm not sure which is better.

I wish I never had to hide anything. I'd love nothing better than to be myself openly without reserve, to wear whatever I felt like wearing, and to act like I felt like acting anywhere and anytime. But the world isn't ready for me- it probably never will be what with my wildly-changing gender feelings. Even among the accepting it would be too much for anyone to have me show up one day in a dress, the next day in a polo shirt and jeans, and the next in cloth diapers with bright-colored plastic panties I think you understand this and how lucky most people are to not be like us. On TV I found a show about aging called "Growing Bolder"- a play on the well-known 'growing older'. I'm beginning to see the real value in that approach- what point is there in not doing whatever it is that you want in life, especially before it's to late to even try? And when is "too late"? I also wonder when is too early, too. And I wonder why it is that we stop ourselves when we don't have to, just because others have different perceptions and expectations of us.

I have a plan for the time when I am discovered to be in diapers. It is a well-thought-out strategy that has several variations to allow for the different people and the different relationships I have with them in addressing this I think it will work just fine. I also think that those among us who are not known should do something like this too. At least if and when the unwanted time comes you won't be stumbling blindly in a minefield . That doesn't mean you can count on escaping without a scratch. What follows may be a shocker- you have been warned!

In foreseeing the time when I'm outed, I also have a plan for what comes after that. Based on who knows and what their relationship with me is, I just want out of this damn closet! If the news becomes the gossip of the town, then I'm not hiding anymore. No, I probably won't be going shopping at Walmart in a diaper the next day (though the guy who's pic is currently displayed in another thread could be me- but I'd lose the sneakers for Mary-Janes, those sneakers ruin the outfit ) What I would do is not hide anything anymore. Cloth diapers would be hung on the clothesline outdoors to dry instead of on the rack inside, I'd wear tripled cloth diapers with plastic panties under my usual clothing whenever I wanted to, and I wouldn't have to put the Depends away first as soon as I come home from shopping. I could leave them anywhere I wanted to without a care, and tell the person who sees them in my shopping cart that they are mine and I like it this way A fantasy? Maybe. I know such an 'outing' would affect many things, especially my job, and that would be a disaster. But even with all that, I would be free and without worry, just like all of us should be. I crave that feeling- it's something I've never had.

The worst thing with me is also the best- my honesty. I'm a rotten liar and I know it, so I don't tell lies. I do OK skirting around things without saying what I don't have to say, but I cannot tell a lie. On top of that, I have a tendency- almost a maniacal drive sometimes- to be bold and go places I really shouldn't go. That often leads to my undoing. No, make "often" into "almost always" That too is just me, another part I have to deal with just like all the rest. Yet I have to ask myself why it is that people cannot handle such blatant honesty- is there something wrong with it? Would you rather be a fool and be deceived? Really. Come on, tell me what is so badly wrong with the truth and why you don't like it. That is why I don't like 'normal' people, for they are all this kind of fool, aren't they? I told you this would be shocking!

Now knowing this little tidbit of truth, what are we to do with it? To change people you must educate them. That means talking about it with them. That means not hiding or lying or or avoiding anything, and answering all the questions you will hear as best you can, not in the way that is best for you or them. Simple. And easy, yet still so hard for us to do. For me, this much I know- were I financially set well enough to not need this world to survive I would stop hiding everything. Yes, everything. I'd be the next HeidiLynn or Stanley, and I'd be getting bashed here for that by my own kind. How nice to know this ahead of time And like them I'd probably stop being a part of this site, this 'scene', this wonderful little world full of lies about people's actual level of diaper acceptance.

So as strange as it may sound Freta, one part of me desperately want this to disappear for you while the other part of me wants this to become the moment of your freedom to lose the constraints you've carried that have held you back. I will chose to support you in the way you want and hope along with you that this becomes nothing. But please do me a favor and be more careful from now on- the last thing I want to hear from you is that you've got problems because you've been outed against your will.

Darn I am long-winded today. And this won't post because I'm an emoticon-whore so I've had to do an edit and take some of them out Oh well, that's just me, wishing I could be the one in the diaper at Walmart (but with the right shoes on!) Will someone please tell me what the next winning Powerball numbers are so I can get on with this?

Bettypooh

[Eir]

Please don't win the lottery, a fair percentage of winners just go bankrupt.

[FretaBWet]

Thanks for the support and comments everyone. I wasn't really upset with the situation, I just thought it was interesting and wanted to let people know that no matter how careful you are there is always the chance of your being discovered. I'm not concerned about anyone in my family seeing my things because I know it wouldn't make any difference in our relationship. They know I'm way outside the box anyway and it doesn't make any difference so they would never throw me under the bus for my diapers or paci. They also know I have a bad bladder because there's no way for me to hide that when I'm not diapered.

Bettypooh, the more I read your posts and blog the more I believe we must be twins seperated at birth somehow :-)

Hugs,

Freta

[Eir]

Thanks for the support and comments everyone. I wasn't really upset with the situation, I just thought it was interesting and wanted to let people know that no matter how careful you are there is always the chance of your being discovered. I'm not concerned about anyone in my family seeing my things because I know it wouldn't make any difference in our relationship. They know I'm way outside the box anyway and it doesn't make any difference so they would never throw me under the bus for my diapers or paci. They also know I have a bad bladder because there's no way for me to hide that when I'm not diapered.

Bettypooh, the more I read your posts and blog the more I believe we must be twins seperated at birth somehow :-)

Hugs,

Freta

Like This. But for some reason I have reached my positive votes for today.