Scared..

[kitty45]

What do you do when your 'diaper fetish' has gotten out of hand and its starting to control your life..you begin to start being late for things, sometimes don't even make wherever you need to go because its more important to wet your diaper, spank yourself when you need to , etc? And unfortunately, I am not at a place yet, just being honest, that I can't wear my diaper everywhere. I can wear it in the car comfortably...though sometimes I fear getting stopped by a cop and thinking 'he will know'....aaah....I can wear my diaper to places like cvs, starbucks....but when it comes to important things, like work, I can't...More, I am afraid of leaking...I have tendencies to overflow my diaper....because well, I like it...lol..Anyway, I just do not know what to do. I am so torn with what to do...I go through 'phases' of this fetish and sometimes can go weeks without wearing them but when "its bacccccck", lol, I get so obsessive, ocd with it all, rather... I simply cannot let this diaper fetish control my life...life has already been hard enough..I cant take anything else go wrong in my life. Any thoughts?

[kitty45]

please feel free to move...realized i posted this in the wrong section..sorry ...oops! my bad!

[suzuki2011]

thought one ...breeeeath

i have had the same problem im a dl ad if i could be in diapers all the time i think i would. but i cant i live with my gf and she doesnt know that i wear. i will go weeks with out wearing and then theres times were i wear everyday when she is at work. if you think it controling youre life and you dont want it to then maybe you need to think about stepping back for while. you said you can go weeks with out them but you always go back. im the same way. i say that i would like to wear all the time. but i want to be able to say no as well. take a break from it and slow down with it or if you don want to then dont theres nothing wrong with it. as long as your not hurting anyone in the process. there are people out there that wear all the time 24/7 and it just becomes a part of there life style and they accept it. think about people who are incontinent they have to be diapered 24/7 thats a part of their life but it not their WHOLE life.

i hope this helps a little bit. or maybe i just rambled on too much lol. these are just my thoughts good luck

[Bettypooh]

How much each of us needs varies, but the one thing that never varies is that an unfulfilled need will cause you problems until you fill it And the longer you wait, the worse it tends to be. The need-filling satisfaction doesn't increase at that same rate. Let me take you on a tour of Me. I started as usual-every once in a while. I dared not let a soul know so I didn't. I could never wear outside- but in time I did. I could never wear to work- but in time I did. I could never go 24/7- but in time I did. Let that teach you something about never

I do admit that I had leakage issues which made my change to 24/7 something of a need, but it wasn't always enough for me to need to wear daily- I just needed to be ready for those leaky times Bur I knew of my psychological need to wear, how strong it was in me. I had to wear in public some days, then I had to wear to work some days too. The only other option was wet pants I found out that I could do this using pull-ups and the toilet, and I've managed through it all Nobody in RL knows save for one guy I was working for who got to see my torn pants, and noting was said. You CAN do it if you want to, that's all I'm saying here.

In closing, let me point out that if the methods you have been trying have not been working, then all that is left is to try something different. There's no use to continuing to try something that doesn't work, is there? Maybe you don't need to go 24/7 but it seems that you need more than you're giving yourself. Being a DL is an obsession, nearly an addiction, and since there is no real harm in it there is no 'cure' for it- you can't fix what ain't broke Keep your life in balance, including this part of it, or you will continue to have problems until you do. BTDT- got a very well-worn T-shirt too Find what works then work it- that's the only way you'll find peace.

Bettypooh

[kitty45]

Toddler and BettyPooh!!!!

Let me just say thank you for the REALLY kind messages to this thread that I started. I just got home and was so happy to see some support from DD friends here..

I really do not know what to do.. I actually am so torn right now. I wore my diaper out today more than I usually do...It was weird..And actually I leaked my diaper and I was fortunate enough to have the 'right' clothes on today, so you could barely notice...I have an enclosed diaper bag that I carry with me in the car. This is a NEW thing for me to do...I went to random places today to change my diaper, I even went to buy new diapers...which it didnt help that CVS Supreme Size 6 diapers were 2.22 on sale....That is F'n cheap and so rare to find at that price...

I never would have worn a diaper today out to the place that I went to but I felt so overwhelmed that I had to leave DD....(a place that understands my 'fetish') ...it's comforting to come to a place where people 'get it' and are doing the same thing as you are...It's nice that so many people are so comfortable on here with their diaper stuff...while I know some people have some insecurities with the diaper fetish, this community allows you to feel somewhat ok because SO MANY other people are doing exactly the same thing...I carry so much guilt and shame for loving diapers so much...and for doing the things I do to myself like spanking for wetting my diaper...Today, for example, I told myself I was bad for leaking my diaper while I was out, and went to a store to use the ladies room so that I could change myself and I spanked myself in the stall a few times...I have a mommy voice in my head which I have that I never had ...My whole diaper fetish has some gone from one extreme to another...My mommy voice in my head will say things like "you were so bad...you are getting a spanking now"...which leads me to stop the car and take action...I feel like such a loser for doing and saying these things to myself...I was wetting myself in the car a lot today...I just feel like one gigantic mess...

I like wearing diapers and wetting them because it makes me feel good...Makes me feel 'little' again...and I feel I didnt get enough attention growing up from my parents...I have had enough therapy in my life that I am seeking that kind of attention anymore...but inside I still feel the same things that I did as a little girl and as a grownup, and I guess this is why I have gravitated towards wearing diapers..I remember being 8 or 10 years old and wanting to wet myself on purpose...I was challenged on time to wet my friends sisters diaper that was found in her room..This was a kid. I took the challenge on and I loved it. As I got older, I started thinking about buying diapers all the time..I felt too much shame wearing them so I would resort to putting a shower towel inside my underwear and would wet myself frequently...It wasn't until these last two years that I started buying diapers and wearing them...and doing all the things that I have been doing to myself now...

I have roommates that I live with that I like a lot, and its bad when I can't wait for them to leave tonight so that I can everything that I want to with my diaper in the privacy that I need for myself...

It's not good when I was late for something today because DD and wetting multiple diapers, and spanking felt more comfortable for me...I feel obsessed and it is quite an addiction...I agree, BettyPooh. And actually, yesterday, I had a commitment to something and I didnt show up because I wanted to do all my ABDL stuff...AAAH.

It is indeed getting in the way of my life...and I am scared the road that it is taking me...I hate myself right now for my history with the things that I have done with wetting myself and the things that I have been doing now...But l love being an active member to a community that is so unique, comfortable, supportive, free, and so much more... Everybody really does get it. I cant even imagine telling anybody in my life all the things that I have been doing. I really do feel so much shame but I love it at the same time.,

I do need to find a balance...It's just that I think about diapers, wetting myself ALL THE TIME!!! I really need help with this...I guess this is something that I need to continnue doing but I don't know how to acheive this "balance" that you both have supportively suggested. If you both or anybody else who reads this has any ideas with how to become less obsessive...please please take the time to right here...I'd really appreciate it more than you know..Taking the first here to reach out and be honest with myself...

Thanks so much again, Toddler, and BettyPooh for supporting me..Yours posts really was what I needed coming home... :-)

Hugs

Kitty45

[lilJester]

takes times and practive i would guess on being able to find a good balance. it wont be easy, got ot work at it. Though i really can't say much about that since well i wear all day every day but meh. Not like anyone really notices *shrugs*

[kitty45]

^^^thanks for ur message

[Repaid1]

I understand what you are going through sometimes the drive just seems overwelming, and the above people have discussed that in fair amount. Something I noticed in your post was that you are not equipping yourself correctly. I know that you and others think that you want baby diapers to help with the feeling of being little. But the simple fact is that the fit and function of these diapers are for just that, babies. They cannot conceivably conform to you body to provide any lasting protection. Now I know that as a rule a baby diaper can hold more than say a depend or CVS brand adult diaper. But getting it to stay fitted to your body just isn't going to happen.

While you may just like the baby diaper size for what they are, I beg you to try a better diaper as well. Yes I use baby diapers but I put them inside the adult version. If you buy even depends and use the baby diaper as a stuffer, you will find this combo gives you a huge advantage to the leaking problem.

I wouldn't doubt that you having leaks is in no short way inhibiting you from all day wear, wherever you may be including work. Taking two baby diapers and poking the necessary holes to allow seepage to each other and the adult diaper eventually will give you a good 5 hour diaper that will instill some trust in your protection.

Having the baby diaper inside gives you the feeling you may desire to use that product, the adult size outside will give you the security you really need.

If you have never "stuffed" before I implore you to try it. There are many people here that use this method and we can help you with techniques involved.

Additionally as you may know, there are adult size disposables that mimic baby disposable with one tape designs and prints. I personally use the molicare line of adult diapers and find them more than satisfactory for most any outing and all day at work or play. It's ultimately up to you, but you really need to ditch the baby diaper only wear for your type of desires. Our Angela on here can use them inside her big girl panties, but she has a whole different issue and wetting situation than you describe. Basically if you don't weigh 60lbs, then a baby diaper isn't going to be your diaper of choice.

Well thats my 15 cents of advice. The old adage is : "Try it you, will like it." Perhaps if you could wear a diaper that you can trust, then you can wear as much as you want, thus helping curb the desires you are having to binge so much in between the purges. Best of luck.

[kitty45]

^^Thanks for the nice advice..I have more to say but I cant think right now..didnt sleep last night..not one bit and so tired...will write more later...thanks for taking the time to write in here...i appreciate it.

[Repaid1]

^^Thanks for the nice advice..I have more to say but I cant think right now..didnt sleep last night..not one bit and so tired...will write more later...thanks for taking the time to write in here...i appreciate it.

I just wanted you to know:

1. Get some sleep

2. You did post this in the right spot, go figure

[Bettypooh]

Kitty45, when you like something this much it's hard to keep it in control, but you have to remember that wearing diapers is only one part of life There is a lot more to life than your choice of undies that needs it's own time and attention too. If you disregard important things in life they will come back around and bite you in the butt hard It's not always fun but it's what you have to do to keep life in balance so that you can be truly happy Yeah, it sucks but there's no changing this. You have to deal with the "got to's" before you can have and keep the "want to's"

With many of the 'taboo' things in life,when you first go there it is overwhelming and you just can't get enough. This will fade in time bet it rarely fades away completely It's the euphoria that comes from shedding your own denials and restrictions and giving yourself the freedom you always deserved. This always pushes you along faster than you are ready to handle. The bliss blinds you to things that would be clear if thought of without any feeling attached. If you slow yourself down you will end up on a lot better place- remember that you've got the rest of your life to deal with this; it doesn't have to all be done today It will be here for you later if you handle it well today, and there is great pleasure in knowing that tomorrow is going to be nice too. Plus slowing down gives you time to savor the experience more.

I'm a fan of lists- it makes keeping my life in order a lot easier. Maybe you can make a list of the non-diaper things which you need to get done today and work your desires around them. When you can accomplish finishing the list, reward yourself somehow- you've done well so you deserve something good for that Don't punish yourself for any failures here, just try harder tomorrow and in time you'll find the balance you need. When you achieve that balance you'll find there's more real happiness there than anywhere else

Bettypooh

[ItchyTasty]

I'm not obsessed with diapers BUT I find it extremelly hard to get off, if I don't imagine a guy or girl wearing a diaper.

Even viagra won't help, but diapers will, strange that.

And it's been bloody years since I had sex, and haven't done anything particually saucy with ex gf's, my last was over a year ago.

[suzuki2011]

one thing i noticed in thses responses and your post is that you like baby diapers and as said above they dont fit or hold adequately. as said above try an adult diaper. if you like the baby diapers the look and feel then go to this web site and order some http://www.bambinodiapers.com/ they make diapers specifically for the AB/DL comunity. they have 6 different types of adult diapers. 4 of them are their own design and the other two are two very populer brands.these are thes best abosorbancy you wont find a better diaper anywere the 4 that they have desined:

1:is called the bianco its a plain white diaper

2: the classico its the same type of diaper but it has read yellow and blue blocks that say baby one the (the type of blocks with the abc's on them like you used to play with as a kid)

3:the teddy this has a little more absourbancy than the other two witch is crazy! lol these have little baby bears in diapers on them some are napping some are hold baloons and some are crawling around.

4: the bellisimo these have a bunch of hello kitty style bunnys on them some holding balloons and soem waving. they also have cherries and butterflys and windmills on them

these diapers are the best ive tried im a huge fan you can wear theses ALL DAY and not worry about leaks they are on the expensive side a little but you pay for quality.

the bellisimo

the teddy

and the classico

binco

[suzuki2011]

you can also try abunivers.com i dont much care for them i like bambino a whole lot better but they also do have diaper targeted twords us their popular brand is called cushies they come in plastic backed and new colth like back

thats what these look like

the absorbancy is ok a lot better than store brand but as i said i like bambino better

[ultrapampers]

ABU Cushies have a large, single tape per side which I think is awesome. I HATE tapes that don't stick, and ABU's tapes don't come off without a fight! Some people say the single tape doesn't allow for a good fit, but you can see in the picture above that they fit fine if applied with some care.

[lilJester]

I have to agree with these posters. Even if you are small in stature, even if baby diapers fit and look cute they're not going to work out as well as one made for an adult.