A Humble Introduction.

[Necare]

Greetings fellow infantilists and nappy adorers! Finally I got the courage to actually register at an AB-site! Until now I`ve always been a bit of a peeping tom(Or should that be peeing? He, he), but as this is often a lone man`s fetish, sooner or later I had to pull myself together and try a bit of the old communication. Well,to tell a bit about myself. As you can see, I go under the name Necare, am an adult baby boy, 28 years of age, and yeah, I`m from the trollish climes of Norway( I`ve noticed that most of you stem from the USA, am I the only one from Norway? Currently I`m taking a bachelor in the history of ideas, I like watching horror and comedy, I find psychology and philosophy interesting, and I listen to everything from black metal to A-ha.

It seems that a great abundance of AB`s often struggle with this fetish, but most sooner or later gets some sense into their heads, and learn to accept it as part of themselves. Well, I am definitely one of the still struggling kind, and have a constant battle with myself over this. I think it is really admirable that people accept this fetish in themselves, but I can speak only of myself, and more often than not I feel as the most pathetic human being on earth. "What, am I actually lying here, wanting a pacifier, a mommy, and a nappy?Cut it out!...." The thing is; two, three years ago, I was in a relationship with this beautiful woman. I felt I could trust her, and many times she seemed really in love with me, but I know now that she probably was a manipulating sadist. At the beginning of the relationship I confessed to her the fact that I was an infantilist, and while it was not to her liking, she seemed to accept it well. I will not go into details, but lets say that she used the craft of manipulating my psyche with often subtle touches.

Photos were taken of me, in very private situations, posted on the net, and the depressing and anxiety-causing result: The one thing that I wished to keep the most private has hurled me into a daily struggle of having the knowledge that each and every being I face on the street knows, and meets me with either a look of contempt, or laughter. So, yeah paranoia, angst, and depression are my ever faithful companions.

Thats not to say that I`ve always found the darker aspects of things enticing, and I could easily be put into the somewhat introvert/cerebral-section of folk. So the fact that the baby side of me does`nt excactly fit in with the darker aspects is to me a constant source of self-contempt. Now, public. I`ve often thought that either I have to conform totally to being a baby 24/7, erasing all my other sides(Pretty difficult the other way around.), I have thought that either that, or life has to end. But when checking AB messageboards/ads, it feels even more depressing to read that mommies doesn`t actually come in a great abundance, compared to single guys seeking a mommy. I know this is primarily a introduction page, but I`ll ask anyway: Is there any of you who struggles daily with this kind of thing? The ambivalence of mind? Hope you didn`t find this too boring, but in order for you to know where I`m coming from, I felt this was essential. Babies, DLs, and last but not least: Thanks for letting me spilling my guts! CHEERS!!

[bigbabbyblue75]

Welcome Necare, i'm Bigbabbyblue75 and i kinda new here too and know how you feel about being alone but i got to hope there someone for every one and we both find them some day. you find most here are friendy and you make friends here fast i hope.

waves

Bigbabbyblue75

[Necare]

Welcome Necare, i'm Bigbabbyblue75 and i kinda new here too and know how you feel about being alone but i got to hope there someone for every one and we both find them some day. you find most here are friendy and you make friends here fast i hope.

waves

Bigbabbyblue75

Thanks Bigbabbyblue75! Nice to feel welcome, but also strange sitting here writing on this site It will probably take a while before I become comfortable, but you seem like an open minded crowd of sucklings. May I ask you your location?

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

Hello Necare, welcome to the site! Don't be so hard on yourself, I rode the same rollercoaster for more years than I care to mention. Since joining this site though, I've really found myself and understand my DL lifestyle better than I ever could have imagined. Talking to like-minded people that have had the same experiences in life is very therapeutic to the soul. I hope you too will find this site as rewarding as I have. I'm looking forward to seeing you around the boards and in chat.