Advice With The Wife

[saleen1234567]

Hey everyone,

I am a long time lurker however have decided to surface to ask for you advice. I am a DL (no AB), who has been with the same girl for around 10 years now and we were recently married. My wife indulges in the fetish, well sort of... I will provide a description in point form and I would appreciate any advice that you would have as to if she is really interested or not. The DL thing is very important to me, I think about it like 100000 times a day haha. Big thing for me is that I don't know what i want more... for her to wear in front of me, or for me to wear in front of her. I find both very sexy. Bottom line, I think she plays along just for me but I really wish she was more into it.... Many have said that it takes patience etc. but I don't really know what to do. I guess my goal would be if we could wear/use together a heck of a lot more often, or all the time when we are at home lol. I would also like to sleep in them as I think it would be cool. but how do you propose that without sounding like a creep? lol

Points to note:

- On the advice of others, I did tell her before we got married... she has obliged, and has worn around 8 times in 8 months. She will wet.

- I have worn around 3 times and have wet in front of her as well.

- She sends sexy texts to me which mention "diapers" or her messing herself or me messing myself (neither have ever happened)

- She talks about them when we have sex

- I joke around that she is not allowed to go to the bathroom and must use them

- She likes to be dominant and tells me that I can only use the toilet x amount of times/day, and anything above is in the shower or diapers. (she usually caves and lets me go)

- She likes to joke around about me wetting myself/messing myself as long as she does not need to clean it up (never happened)

- She does NOT like the idea of locking plastic pants... or the AB thing. I made the mistake of bringing it up, and yeah she was not supportive at all.

My take on this is that she does it because it is sexual for me and turns me on. Unfortunately, I do not think that it turns her on or is sexual for her. So what do you think?

Thanks for all of your advice and welcoming me to the boards.

-Josh

[sarah_ab]

I think that all of this could be her trying to make the man she loves happy.

I think all of this could be her trying to tell the man she loves that she wants more diaper play.

Or it could be neither. Not a single one of us here can say for certain. Best course of action, tell your wife 1. how awesome she is for accepting and even participating in diapers with you and 2. tell her you don't want her to do anything she doesn't want to, and you just want to check in with her about the diapers and make sure she isn't feeling pressured and 3. ask her if there is anything she would like you to try for her.

[Nintendowife]

My husband introduced me to diaper play about three years ago. Your situation sounds a lot like ours. I took it well and we have incorporated it into our sex life.

Your wife might be trying hard to make you happy. You can't force her to be turned on by it, although it sounds like it is sexy to her, just in a different way than you. It sounds like she's trying hard. Perhaps what turns her on is knowing that it excites you, which should be enough. Try not to focus on the why's and just enjoy the play together.

I would say just ask her if she minds if you sleep in them. My husband likes to on his days off and I bounced back and forth from being bothered by it to being comfortable with it depending on how things were going in our sex life until he explained that it was relaxing and fun to him and it wasn't just a sexual thing to him; now I'm ok with it.

As for using them all the time at home, I would say that may not be healthy for your marriage if she's not as into it as you are but that's just an outside perspective and only you can guess best what's good for your relationship and what's not.

Don't make the mistake of pressuring her. She has boundaries with which she is comfortable and if you overstep those boundaries or pressure her to push them then you will do more damage than good. And don't let diaper play take over your sex life either. From experience, it can make us feel like the only way we can excite our husbands is when we are indulging. That can grow to resentment and completely turn us off to diaper play. It takes a long time to grow that confidence and comfort back.

Have some patience and like it was mentioned already, let her know she's awesome for accepting it.

[saleen1234567]

^

Thanks folks, there is definately some really good advice here. I think you are all right when you say to have lots of patience, I mean we have only been married for 1 year so there is lots of time to grow old with each other and sexually. The biggest thing for me is that I really want to know what she feels about them... sometimes it can be frustrating as I almost think like she leads me on and then fakes it. I think a marriage is a compromise, a two way street if you will, and if she had some weird fetish I would absolute embrace it even if I didn't find it enjoying for myself on a personal level. With her it is quite different, she is not as comfortable with herself sexually as I am. She doesn't look at porn, never really masturbated, so I find myself as the one trying to introduce her into everything. The other problem is that she gets "bored" very quickly. We have many many sex toys and she won't use 99% of them. I am afraid that she will get bored of the diaper lifestyle, if that is the case I don't know if I could compromise and let it go. For me it is much more than that.

When I went to bed last night I thought about my comment that I was strictly a DL. Now that I think about it, that isn't totally true. I am about a 70% DL and 30% AB as I do like some AB things (I wear a onzie to bed every night and she totally accepts it). I have an insanely stressful job so for me it is a feeling of protection and feeling safe and secure. Interestingly enough, about 2 years she asked me if I was an AB and I said no. Now I kind of regret that. I really like the idea of her and I wearing to bed but I don't know if that is something i should bring up now or in 5 years from now.

Sometimes I think that she isn't really into it because it is so weird and she has never seen anyone else into it. Mind you, she did watch the Big Baby CSI episode so she can't think that I am a weird or one in a billion. What do you think about introducing her to AB/DL sites, and pictures?

Thanks again

[Fakename4me]

Ok, I will be the bad guy here...

It sounds like she is accomadating you in your wants and desires up to her limit. And that in itself is good.

But have you talked to her about her wants, needs and desires?

If you haven't, you really need to. After all, it takes two to make a couple....

[saleen1234567]

^

Yes, I have asked her lots of times about her wants, needs and desires... she replies "whatever makes you happy". I wish she would come out of her shell... but is that really up to me?

[technomonkey]

I have been with my wife for 11 years and married 1 year. I am a DL not in to AB she excepts me that i wear diapers. she will buy them for me or let me have what ever kind of diaper i want. i wear all the time. But getting her to put one on is nearly inpossible. and diapers are not sexy or a turn on to her. In the last 11 year i have only got her in a pull up twice and fitted brief few times. I have tried all different ways to get her to like it more but its not happing.

[saleen1234567]

OK so a little bit of an update. Well not really, but she keeps making hints that she wants me to mess myself. The thing is that last time I wore and wet a diaper (like 1 month ago), something unexpected came out of the other end... not a lot, but enough that she teases me about it.

I am so tempted to do it in front of her, but I don't know if and when I should. I was thinking about getting her drunk and then me doing it, but I just don't know. Is it better that I wait for a year or so? Or should I look at messing myself much sooner? I know this stuff probably sounds fake to you, but I assure you it is very real and I would like to know what I can do to take this to the next level... or not.

I am so confused...