Enough Already! (Not Aimed At Any One Really, Just Generally Annoyed)

[Diapered Jason]

Okay thanks the those that supported my post. Secondly i wasn't saying that straightening your hair and making yourself incontinent is the same thing i was referring to it being a choice everyone makes different choices everyday and tho many people don't like your decision they are still yours too make whether right or wrong they are still yours we are here to offer advice and not critisize those for talking about their opinions and/or beliefs

I am afraid there are consequences to every decision. If you are making a bad decision with very poor consequences, especially ones that effect other people, I have every right to criticize, but I am not going to force you to do anything. Besides, if you don't like what you read on here, don't use this website, lol, but I urge you to think about the cost of your desires. Not only that, there are inherent risks associated with even talking about subjects like maiming yourself in order to be incontinent, because people will get ideas even if put in a negative spotlight. That is why it is important to criticize really bad ideas. If left unchallenged, they will spread like cancer.

[diapered1964]

Not to add fule to the fire but, 20 or so years ago, closer to 30. I wanted to loose all control of my bladder, I wanted no control what so ever, I wanted to have to need to wear diapers.

I had been thinking of this all the while I was growing up and when I turned 18, got my first job and own place to live I decided to give it a try. I purchases 2 cases of diapers (don't remember the brand) from the local pharmacy and headed home to start on my jurney to total dependency on diapers.

Yes, I started out thinking I would have to wear then 23.5-7 (1/2 hour a day with diaper off for showering) so that is what I set out to do. It started out fun for the first week, wetting my diaper when ever and where ever I needed to go and makeing sure I had a supply of fresh diapers in my car at all times.

By the thrid week it was becomming more of a chore, and by the end of the month I had to rethink is this what you realy want.

I did not however want to give up just yet, so I continued to wear my diapers for another month, by this time I had gotten used to changeing my diapers in public restrooms and was quite adapt to changeing them along side my car on the side of the road when I needed to change due to leakage.

Again at the end of the second month I sat down and had to do some realy deep thinking as I was finding it easyer to wet my diaper when I need to go and the cost of the diapers was not cheap.

I decided to try going a week without the diapers and nearly wet myself many different times, this was unexspected but not all that disturbing to me as I realised that I had not given much thought to going, I just went when ever I felt the slitest need to go and now that I did not have a diaper on I needed to go very often.

So I had to chose my next step carefully, either continue wearing diapers and just going when ever or stop wearing diapers and regain the control I had lost.

Well I chose the diapers, not the cheapest choice I have made in my life but I will say this it is one choice that I made that I do not regret. 27 plus years wearing & wetting diapers, I find now that even if I want to go without a diaper for even a hour I wet myself, so I stayed diapered all the time cept when I am in the shower.

[Horndog]

The thing with incontinence is that you may think it's fun to have in a fantasy situation, but reality is harsh. I've had incontinence. It can really affect your self-esteem if you don't know when you're going to go. It can control you easily if you don't have the will power to manage it.

[PaddedPat]

The thing with incontinence is that you may think it's fun to have in a fantasy situation, but reality is harsh. I've had incontinence. It can really affect your self-esteem if you don't know when you're going to go. It can control you easily if you don't have the will power to manage it.

Understood, but one man's burden is another's indulgence.

Personally, I can't imagine the challenge in dealing with full-on incontinence, even though I've been 24/7 for three months. With "functional incontinence" - as programs such as the 12-Month Program reinforce, at least the subject can CONSCIOUSLY DECIDE whether or not the hassle is worth the commitment. Futhermore, the effects are extremely gradual, so the subject is able to slowly acclimate and adapt to changes in his/her routine. If the inconvenience begins to outweigh the "benefits," the effects are easily reversible. No harm - no foul, if you will.

If I woke up tomorrow with 100%-uncontrollable incontinence, I'm really not sure how I would react. Part of me would relish it, but the rest of me recognizes the substantial burden it places on one's routines. Again -- with gradual changes, it's much easier to make a series of little adjustments to manage the risks - versus having to learn EVERYTHING all at once. Yikes...

It really perplexes me when people are willing to make irreversible physical changes to their bodies (e.g., surgery) to achieve the SAME RESULTS as conscious willpower alone (e.g., 12-month Program). Why remove the choice altogether and risk the chance of permanent regret later on? Never understood it...

Those with true incontinence definitely have my sympathy. It's nice to have the choice to proceed or not.

[Guest diaperboykcmo]

I agree people that want to be 24/7 in diapers and lose control..

Seriously that's taking it a bit too far!

[rosalie.bent]

It is true that 24/7 diapers and incontinence is a big issue in someone's life however, for some it is not necessarily a net negative experience. When researching my book I found three other couples like us who discovered that when their AB partner went into 24/7 diapers that their AB needs and desires became more controllable and easier to manage. In one case the 24/7 was a choice and in the other three it was in response to a signficant reduction in bladder control and while 24/7 diapers was perhaps premature, it was not without some justification. One partners reaction was that her husband was FAR happier, better motivated and more pro-active once he went into 24/7 diapers. Her comment (and mirrored in part by our own experience) is that the cost and inconvenience of 24/7 diapers was far, far outeighed by the positive life changes that came as a result.

Incontinence is NEVER the goal. It however may be one of the tools in restoring balance to a person whose AB desires and needs are out of control or problematic. Apparently this idea also works with less than 24/7 - for example every night and evening perhaps.

Just a thought...

[Bettypooh]

Incontinence is the goal for some people, and some achieve it- to each their own I know when I started getting into this heavily I thought incontinence would be nice but once I went 24/7 (or as close to it as is practical) with wearing, my desire to become incontinent faded almost completely away. And as I went through this my minor bladder control issues increased. Still not bad, but many days (actually most days now) I need my diapers. If I become incontinent then so be it, just as if I don't. My diapers are here to stay so it really doesn't matter how the future goes with my bladder.

From my observations only, it seems to me that many who say they want to be incontinent are seeking reasons to get deeper into this, as if they need any more reason than wanting to wear diapers. Not everyone mind you, but more than just some. Wearing diapers is a path each of us explores in our own way and in our own time. There is no prerequisite and no diagnosis needed to wear or to use diapers. Wanting to is enough.

I too am concerned with those who make permanent changes to their bodies without first giving it a long "test drive" to be sure it's what they want. In treating TS's, that test-drive is a year's life in the other gender. It takes at least that long before you're going to run into most of the situations where your gender makes a big difference in life. I recommend the same time frame with those who want to be incontinent. Wear and use diapers 24/7 for a year first, and if after that you are happy and able to adjust well to it, then seek it if you still want it. Of course the "12 month" program has most people happily leaking (or more) by then so there's not a lot to gain by making physical alterations. See those as the last resort, the thing that is used to complete the process if it is really needed by you. Many times it isn't as needed as you thought it was, and not having changes makes it possible to change your mind if things don't go as you thought they would. There's a thread here about altering a catheter to achieve the same effect as incontinence- give that a try and you'll gain a much better understanding of what having no control is like.

Just know yourself, know what you're doing, and go slow with things and you should be OK. Being incontinent will change your life but it won't keep you from having a life, not will it alone bring you happiness. There's more to life than wearing diapers, and you don't have to be incontinent to wear them. Just sayin!

Bettypooh

[rosalie.bent]

Incontinence is the goal for some people, and some achieve it- to each their own I know when I started getting into this heavily I thought incontinence would be nice but once I went 24/7 (or as close to it as is practical) with wearing, my desire to become incontinent faded almost completely away. And as I went through this my minor bladder control issues increased. Still not bad, but many days (actually most days now) I need my diapers. If I become incontinent then so be it, just as if I don't. My diapers are here to stay so it really doesn't matter how the future goes with my bladder.

From my observations only, it seems to me that many who say they want to be incontinent are seeking reasons to get deeper into this, as if they need any more reason than wanting to wear diapers. Not everyone mind you, but more than just some. Wearing diapers is a path each of us explores in our own way and in our own time. There is no prerequisite and no diagnosis needed to wear or to use diapers. Wanting to is enough.

I too am concerned with those who make permanent changes to their bodies without first giving it a long "test drive" to be sure it's what they want. In treating TS's, that test-drive is a year's life in the other gender. It takes at least that long before you're going to run into most of the situations where your gender makes a big difference in life. I recommend the same time frame with those who want to be incontinent. Wear and use diapers 24/7 for a year first, and if after that you are happy and able to adjust well to it, then seek it if you still want it. Of course the "12 month" program has most people happily leaking (or more) by then so there's not a lot to gain by making physical alterations. See those as the last resort, the thing that is used to complete the process if it is really needed by you. Many times it isn't as needed as you thought it was, and not having changes makes it possible to change your mind if things don't go as you thought they would. There's a thread here about altering a catheter to achieve the same effect as incontinence- give that a try and you'll gain a much better understanding of what having no control is like.

Just know yourself, know what you're doing, and go slow with things and you should be OK. Being incontinent will change your life but it won't keep you from having a life, not will it alone bring you happiness. There's more to life than wearing diapers, and you don't have to be incontinent to wear them. Just sayin!

Bettypooh

Thats a pretty good post Betty. Actually i thought TS were required to live as a woman for TWO years? Perhaps it is different there! I would agree with you that those who think incontinence is a great thing have obviously never been so! I know I am not AB but I have tried diapers to see if I can experience something and all I found was some discomfort and feeling 'wrong'. That would be because I neither want nor need them. But it was a try! But my hubby is incontinent and I can tell you that it is a lot of work and sometimes a hassle. BUT (and its a big but) what it brings to him is security, peace, balance and ultimaely, HAPPINESS. that makes the work as hassle of 24/7 diapers of no consequence. But without that payoff, incontinence would be a big disability and a life limiting pain!

I was as shocked as he was when he went back into diapers as much out of frustration with wet pants and beds than anything else and then suddenly finding all these other side benefits. But I am not that naive to think that everyone will find the same experience. Some will and some wont. This is why I still maintain that seeking incontinence for its own sake is silly. If you do that you may regret it without an added side benefit.

You are right though that the most effective means of being incontinent is to just wear them 24/7 and use them. toilet training is a strong learned skill for most like any ability it will weaken and fail with disuse. Personally I like being continent but I do sometimes envy him in public areas when I line up for smelly and busy toilets and THEN I can see an advantage of a diaper!