My Wonderful Fiance

[Jinxed]

Hi everybody. I've spent a lot of time going through the DD forums and reading however have never stopped to post. I have had a particular interest in reading peoples stories about explaining their little sides to their significant others and reading posts and replys about people's suggestions in doing so.

Today, for the first time, I explained my little side to another person which was my fiance who I have been with for almost 3 years. It was a conversation I had with myself a million times and had the intent of doing it many times but very much so lacked the courage until now. I simply wanted to relay this experience to others considering the same, and perhaps aid others in doing so.

I have seen many posts asking how to explain it or what is the best way to do so. My personal opinion and approach I chose was that of complete honesty. I began by asking her if she had ever heard of age play to which she answered no. From there I explained, that on my own personal time, I occasionally choose to act like a toddler as a means of letting go of all that is considered "adult life and responsibility." I paused to guage her reaction and she was very open about my admission showing no other emotions other than wanting to hear me out and understand. I would be lying if I said the rest of the conversation was easy as it certainly was not. Talking about something I have kept completely secret for many years was difficult and didn't easilly flow. After stumbling and stuttering for a few minutes I finally explained part of my toddler activites consist of wearing things such as footed pajamas and a diaper.

I further explained the basics and differencies between the AB and DL lifestyles and the varying extremes of each including where I placed myself on the spectrum. She asked a few questions but not many probably due in part to how uncomfortable and nervous I was explaining this side of me. One statement of acceptance was about what she could do to make it better for me. I explained we would have to figure that out in the future as, to be completely honest, i'm not yet ready to have her participate. Explaining this lifestyle to her was step one and we'll see what step two turns out to be and when.

Overall, she was all ears for me and was very accepting. My words of advice would be to simply be honest. For myself and i'm sure many others, my little side is an important part of my personality and life (despite how little I actually partake in). I believe honesty is always an important part of a healthy relationship and, in order to sustain a relationship for life, we have to be completely honest with our partners. I regret not having this conversation earlier as I believe one who does not respect and love me for who I am is not worthy of my love and compassion. Additionally, anybody that refuses to understand or accept is likely one I would not otherwise had been able to trust or enjoy spending a lifetime with.

For those who have been in a relationship for a long time, there is no better time than now to explain your DL/ AB side. I don't think anybody should be worried about their partner being angry with them. I believe most would appreciate the honesty and repsect the courage it takes to talk about such a private topic. Afterall, there are many worse conversations you could have such as having cheated on your wife, drug use, lost your job, and more.

We only live once! Live your life as you are with no regrets!

~Jinxed~

[gah!ghost]

Right on, good for you. It's never a bad thing to discuss these sorts of things before marriage. Even if it ends in an engagement being broken off or something of the ilk, it sucks at the time but in the long run it's better for all parties involved. Good luck with everything moving forward, sounds like you're doing things right from the start.

[lovelylittle]

Sounds a lot like my experience. Congratulations to you for being brave enough to come clean, and i'm so glad that she was open-minded and accepting! After I told my boyfriend it was like a thousand pounds off my shoulders- complete euphoria. Now I can be "little" freely when I feel the need and I know for a fact he loves me for exactly who I am, because he knows everything about who I am. There's probably still some awkward moments and conversations to come, but awkward or not, be proud of yourself for having the courage to tell the truth and take comfort in knowing she still loves you and wants to be with you!

[Jinxed]

I will admit the thought of my engagement going to hell was a thought in the back of my mind. When i cited this fear as a reason I was quiet for so long she quickly made sure I knew this to be an irrational fear. It too was like a thousand pounds off my shoulders. Im sure there will be more awkward moments and talks but thats ok

[Bettypooh]

Life has it's awkward moments- but those who real;ly love you won't care. They will see far beyond that and love you anyway. Sounds like you've managed to find your soulmate, you seem to be on the right track with your ABDL approach and I'm happy for you

Bettypooh

[BabyLex]

Well done! Being honest is the right thing to do and instead of spending each year keeping your little side in the closet, it's now a part of your relationship so you can both grow and enjoy it

Here's wishing you many good times!

--Lex

[blu4]

I am happy that things worked out for you I told my husband a while ago and was relieved to discover that he didn't have a problem with it either.. He doesn't 'get it' but is really accepting hence as a DL I now wear 24/7 with his blessing

[diggir]

I admire you Jinxed. Before my wife and I married I didn't tell her and sure wish I would have. Giving her the option to bail on me would have been the right thing to do. I really don't know for sure what she would have done but I know she would rather I didn't indulge in my ab/dl side. You're a very brave man.

[diaperpt]

Good for you! You did it at a very good time.

There are some here who've suffered through divorce because of their ABDL sides. Others who have a very tenuous balance in their relationship - 'diapers are ok, but I don't want to/won't participate.

I sensed it would be cause for divorce and when after almost 20 yrs I was found out, she demanded I go to a shrink to be 'cured'. That backfired on her as the shrink says 'why not?' to diapers. She hates them, I keep them out of sight of her though I wear something 24/7. I continue therapy, she still looks to a day I'll give them up, and I continue to explain that I may never give them up.

Every combination of 2 people will react differently. I'm sincerely happy for and jealous of those who get to enjoy all or most of their fantasies with their partner (sharing their's as well, of course).