A Little Help For A New Mommy

[New and a little confused]

I'm a new mommy to a younger Dl, and I have no issues with it- and I completely accept him for who he is.

But the reason I came to these forums, is because this is all new and alien to me- maybe a younger ABDL can give me a little heads up on what to expect? All I've gotten from him information-wise is that he likes to wear diapers, suck pacifiers, and use bottles.

How can I help him be a little more comfortable with me, and I him?

[BabyJune]

Ask him what he needs from you. At the same time, he should be open to things that you like as well. It's got to work both ways. But the answers lie right in front of you with him. Only he can answer your questions within your relationship. It's different for each of us.

[New and a little confused]

Thank you, Babyjune. :3

[PeytonJ]

I agree 100% with June.

You both need to sit down and have a serious and open talk about this, because you need to both find each other's limitations. It's always better to talk about it, instead of continuing on the way you are, because eventually one person will become unhappy, leading things down hill from there. Relationships like these I would say are rather fragile. He's told you about it, making him more vulnerable. Whether or not he can truly handle the amount of vulnerability he is in now, who knows. Hence why you both should talk. He is trusting you will a lot, and most likely wants you to be able to trust him with a lot of your "baggage" (I know that's not the correct word...but it sort of goes, seeing as moments in our young lives created what we are now..)

Anyways, I recommend whilst talking you figure out if this is a fetish or not. If it is, have a safe word like always. If not, still tred lightly until you both have figured things out. Such as what gets him into "baby mode" etc. Also ask if he's really a "baby" or an older baby who can do more things. Everyone of us is different about this. I personally feel more like a toddler. Therefore different things apply for me when it comes to the mode. However, he may or may not fully know. That's why talking about it with each other is great, because you and him can learn more about it within each other...

Okay, I have rambled on long enough. I hope this helps a little....???

Peyton

[New and a little confused]

Actually, that's helped me out a lot, Peyton. We don't see eachother very often because our relationship just begun- but I will definately talk to him a bit more about this, so maybe I can understand him a bit more. It may help that we've know each other for quite some time, but since the start of our relationship, he wanted to tell me.

I understand him wholeheartedly, and know he's a bit embarrassed about it- since I'm the only person he's told.

But, thank you guys again, this is really helpful.

[Honu]

New & Confused,

With all my appreciation, thank you for being so accepting of this aspect of adult sexuality. I hope you are not offended by the "S" word, but as a DL myself, it is a part of it and all adult relationships between men and women. This where i would guess that it's risky for him to talk to you. Aren't we all a little afraid of having someone else know what REALLY gets to us? Since my story isn't related to my age, I hope it helps you understand a DL a little and perhaps has some application to your beloved.

My earliest memories were not of wearing diapers, but of waking up in a wet bed. My mother was frustrated and took me to Doctors for this. The more my parents expressed their desire for me to be different than I was, the more my mind sought a solution. I knew I had no control over the bed wetting and came to the thought that if I wore diapers to bed, I won't wet the bed, just the diapers. Time went on and I was still wetting the bed in elementary school. In first grade I had my first attraction to a girl and in second grade I created a fantasy around a female classmate that featured her putting my nightime diaper on me. Voila, from that point on I had a sexual connection with diapers and have been a DL ever since.

While you don't necessary need your beloved's back story, please know that many self-declared DLs experience arousal in scenarios involving diapers. What will really work for your guy is knowing and pulling off the scenario he has fantasied about. No doubt that is the one, or the group, that he is so shy about.

Beyond that, who doesn't enjoy the attention and pampering that you refer in your originial post? It is very thoughtful and generous of you to think of those things and I'm sure they will be appreciated as the acts of love that they are and may help him open up about his back story and his fantasy scenarios.

Best of luck with your relationship and once again, thanks for being so understanding, accepting and generous.

Respectfully,

Honu

[PeytonJ]

Actually, that's helped me out a lot, Peyton. We don't see eachother very often because our relationship just begun- but I will definately talk to him a bit more about this, so maybe I can understand him a bit more. It may help that we've know each other for quite some time, but since the start of our relationship, he wanted to tell me.

I understand him wholeheartedly, and know he's a bit embarrassed about it- since I'm the only person he's told.

But, thank you guys again, this is really helpful.

I am glad it helped. And not to be rude to Honu, but I have to disagree with him. Just because you're aging doesn't completely mean that the simple "fantasy" as he stated, has evolved into a sexual thing. If you talked to a counselor, they would want to know the root of the "problem" -they tend to call it a problem, because it's abnormal. For myself, the reason I find wearing and regressing appealing, is due to the fact that I really never had the best infant-hood when i was originally an infant. But when a person grows up in an orphanage during the first three most important years of life -for developing trust, love, etc- then of course it's bound to happen that eventually they try to compensate for the loss of that chapter. Which is why I strongly urge you to talk with your boy friend and see if you can trace where his urge to be comforted in a completely different mind-set started. Perhaps I am wrong about him not being like myself and finding this as not a fetish at all. Only you and him will be able to find out. This is either going to make your relationship stronger, or slowly pull you apart.

Remember, life is give and take. Don't expect to just give pieces of yourself away constantly, because that will only cause severe problems for you down the road. And don't always take. You and him need to talk about that too. What you want to give and what you want to take from this relationship. I know that sounds a bit awful...

As for him being embarrassed, it's a natural feeling. I've told several people and I too was embarrassed to carry on. Your job is to just reassure him that it's okay, and that he can trust you. Also, take it slowly. Occasionally ask him if he wants to continue talking about it, or proceed with the topic another time.

Okay, more rambling... Sorry.

[LILJIM]

For me & my g/f (wife now) we talked about different things tried some things then 1-2 days later talked about it. Our likes & dislikes about what we tried. If both didnot like it we threw it out; if 1 liked it we agreed to do it off and on. Not just with the DL/AB stuff but other stuff too. Good-luck with it all!! It was a BIG step for him to open-up;glad to hear you didnot RUN and hide. For me there were 2 things I was scared about when I first started wearing= buying diapers at the store & talking about it for the first time. Again good-luck.

[Fontaine]

I don't know if this applies to you but the one thing that i always found helpful was an open engagement with each other. Meaning, that you should always be willing to talk about it with him. In fact, if he is anything like me, you should be the one to bring it up sometimes. My issue was that i'm extremely nervous talking about these things but when i'm actively engaged with conversations about diapers or whatever, then i don't have that desire to retreat. That's actually part of the reason why i joined this site lol.

But really, i'd think it would help if you kept in engaged with it if he is the nervous type. If not, disregard this post

[curiositykilledthecat]

I would recommend simply sitting down and talking about it. I am rather shy about bringing this type of stuff up with potential mates so since the cat is out of the bag(no pun intended) and you already knoiw, be the one to initiate conversation and see where the conversation leads.