Caring For Some One Who Is Dying

[maly]

I am currently at work and am caring for a 96 year old man, he is very unwell at the moment so i will be sitting with him all night.

He is rather distressed, I shall call him Mr J and he could really do with some kind thoughts and prayers just now.

Mal.

[thong5]

He will be in my prayers. I hope if it is the the end it will be peacefull.

[ohiobabygirl]

It's nice that he will have someone with him. I actually had a discussion at work today about near death experiences and what people say when they are close to dying

[curiositykilledthecat]

You got it

[Vic]

I tended to my Grandpa while he was dying, it was hard for him because he fought death so hard. My best Friends Grandpa died just a little while ago. It was totally different for him, he was rather composed and he went quickly and quietly, just the way he would have wanted.

Death is different for everyone, but it comes to us all.

Vic

[Morv]

I'm currently tending to my dad, who probably has until the end of the weekend. Only found out that he was going to die like 4 weeks ago, and it was unexpected news. We're rotating shifts between my brother, me and my mom. It's a hell of an experience.

[Honu]

You are both in my prayers. Mr. J for what is next and you for staying by his side when he needs company.

Aloha Oe,

Honu

[nitrous]

Morv, I've been where you are right now. The unexpected horror of knowing someone you love is cmoing close to the end. All I can say is say is make your peace while you've got the time. You and your family will be in my preyers. I wish you both the best of luck in dealing with this.

Mal its great you're there for Mr. J. Have you tried contacting members of his family? Trust me he'll be in my preyers and so will you. God speed on your long watch.

[Morv]

All I can say is say is make your peace while you've got the time. You and your family will be in my preyers. I wish you both the best of luck in dealing with this.

Did that a couple weeks ago. Thanks for the prayers. Now it is just exhaustion.

[diaperlover81]

Morv and Mal you both will be in my prayers.

[Guest chhockle]

You're both in my prayers.

[diaperpt]

Mal, if the man was as ill as you said, I suspect that by now the wait is over. Bravo to you for being there with him. If he is still waiting for the end I hope others can care as much as you.

Morv, it is a very difficult time. I'm glad to hear you are sharing the load with others and while this is an awful experience on the one hand, it's one that needs to be done. My prayers are with you, your dad and the rest of the family. As you comfort your dad, may you be comforted as well.

To both of you, continuing prayers.

[maly]

Thankyou all on behalh of Mr J for your kind thoughts and prayers, he has rallied a bit i think he may be trying to hold out for the birth of his first great grandchild.

I continue to work with Mr J and his loving daughters.

He had a visit from his parish priest and i think that has lifted his spirits a bit.

Once again thank you.

Mal.

[Morv]

Thanks for the well wishes and prayers. My dad passed away last Wed. with his family at his side.

[Rihanna]

Thanks for the well wishes and prayers. My dad passed away last Wed. with his family at his side.

Morv, sorry to hear, my condolences.

Mal, if Mr J is still around, wish him my best.

We lost my 89.5 yr old dad in March. Was fine until he took a turn for the worse. Had to hospital then hospice him for the two weeks before his death. It was hell, he was full of IV's & feeding tubes. He could not communicate, although I think he could still understand us and did answer us with head nods or shakes. On his birthday last August, the first time in my adult life, I gave him a big hug & told him I loved him. He seemed a little shocked because we've never been a "hugging," "love you," family. I'm glad I did it. Sadly, my brother and I were on our way to visit him in Hospice when we got the phone call that he had passed. He died alone. >cry<

I was visiting my maternal grandfather in the hospital many years ago when he "died." I had him resuscitated and he lived another five days or so while the family could give our last goodbyes.

This may seem like an odd footnote, it is an FYI, because many people don't know this; Credit card debt in the US is an "unsecured loan." When the cardholder dies, there is no way the CCC's can collect. Yea, they will write, call, and try to bully the survivors into paying. Don't fall for it! My dad had somewhere between $50,000 to $100,000 on credit cards when he died. There is no way his insurance policies or remaining family could pay them. You wouldn't believe some of the conversations my brothers and I have had with them. We keep repeating "F" off, you CANNOT collect, they keep threatening lawsuits, garnishments, and other methods that may work in other debts, but NOT on CC's.

Again, sorry for rambling, but I hope the last paragraph helps someone.

[maly]

Thanks for the well wishes and prayers. My dad passed away last Wed. with his family at his side.

sorry to hear of your loss i will remember your dad, you and your family in my meditations.

If you ever feel like a chat you can pm me.

Mal.

[malus_infantia]

Sorry to hear of J's struggles Mal. Good on you for being a decent sort and looking out for him. No one knows what end awaits them. I rather suspect that I shall go into death alone, and likely terrified.

A good friend of mine lost his mother this past friday. I am trying not to think of what it will be like when I lose my parents, or my brothers...but it can't be helped.

My thoughts and well wishes to you and J, Mal.

Cheers,

malus

[Mama Melody]

I work with the aging and dying on a regular basis at my current job. I'd like to say it gets easier every time someone passes, but it doesn't. I'd like to say that you'll feel better about it after a while, but I don't know if that's true either.

But I know what it's like to have to be strong for others. To have to smile, care, love, and give the best dignity you can to the dying and ill...and I respect all those who can do it without breaking down. Sometimes I can't even do that. The best we can do it try to make the time they have memorable and enjoyable as we can. Also, if you ever begin to feel guilty that you can't help them or ashamed that the work is getting to you, DON'T. It takes a very strong person to even sit beside a dying person. From the sound of it, you're even stronger than that.

Take care. I give my best wishes to Mr. J, but also to you.

Chin up.