Hyperchloremic Acidosis

[Guest Amphetamenace]

While most girls my age are crying about prom dates they never had, or bad test grades, I have something new up my sleeve.

I brought it on myself.

I royally fucked myself over when I tried drinking bleach.

I pinched my nose and held down a cupfull and then I took some more.

It was enough to load my stomach up, fill my bloodstream with destructive pH levels, and this is where I'm at now.

My stomach was pumped and I drank a charcoal solution to bind up the remaining chemicals so they couldn't get absorbed into the blooodstream.

I don't want to go into details about my symptoms that day, but I totalled myself.

The good news is, this situation will dissipate in months to a year. I'd say give it 10 months for my body to restore itself. But it has driven a fissure in my plans.

I was on an IV drip for saline for days in the hospital, and it has healed me tremendously.

I currently take sodium and potassium supplements on a thrice daily basis.

I wanted to throw myself out the window I was in so much pain, the day I did it.

My bladder burns.

I guess I'll be smarter about my suicide attempts from here on in.

Here's the kicker.

The pH of morphine is the about the only drug I can tolerate, so I am taking it on a daily basis.

Due to the medication and body recovery, it opens up doors for heart disease, such as strokes, attacks, pinched nerves, etc. I have a HR monitor installed. I can't visit a recruiter (I WILL join the military after this is all said and done!) without being screened medically, so fuck that lol.

But due to my condition, my strength came when I discovered my condition wasn't chronic or life-threatening. It's right up there next to a benign tumor or a broken leg. It's a painful climb to recovery, but I'll get there.

I'm taking Xanax (not a harmful pH) and it has soothed my suicidal tendencies tremendously. The anti-depressants will have to wait, however.

The greatest thing to be learned from this taxing event is that it made me achieve a whole new level of strength. Like, superhuman strength. It inspired me to write my stories and work harder, as I feel I still have something to offer this world, whether the people surrounding me are supportive or not.

I'm also on outpatient therapy for a few months. They're not too sympathetic. They think I'm psychotic or loopy to do something like this to myself.

Anyway, there is no support forums on HA, so I thank you for listening to me.

With the struggles Ive been facing; I expect people to not believe me. But that's ok. My only proof is that I'm reaching for support. And I thank you.

Was it stupid? Yes. I know. Adolescence is a time of learning. And this isn't a mistake you make twice. I'm not a dramatic person, but dramatic things happen to me often.

[FretaBWet]

I'll take you at your word, and offer you my heartfelt sympathy. I hope your body heals faster then it would be expected to. I hope your heart and mind heal even faster. When your room at the Hotel Life sucks the answer isn't to check out early it's to find a better room.

Hugs,

Freta

[Creepymouse]

Reminds me of the episode of House where the girl decided to commit suicide, by filling capsules with drain cleaner. It burned a hole in her stomach, but didn't kill her. When it healed up, it started causing random infections and such throughout her body and they struggled to find the cause.

You didn't intend to make yourself miserable, of course, but sometimes it happens. This world isn't easy, but the little things are important enough to be worth it.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Just be happy you have a stomach and esophagus still. Drinking bleach isa rough way to do it, glad you're still here, just keep pushing forward, eventually things will improve. Don't beat yourself up over mistakes, sometimes we only learn from screw ups and if nothing else you have a calling/message to young girls who are in the same situation you once were.