My Poem - "Façade"

[gbw_dl]

Façade

Living your life as a lie, trapped by the conception of whats "normal" and what should be, when my life achievement is to break free. To break free from the bondage of society, and live my life as i please, with no judgment or criticism. Sadly that will never be. Still i cower in fear from the worlds population and normality, trying to make myself into something that im not, putting up a false image of myself to blend, but behind the curtain is a "normal" man. I weep every night hoping for change, but until the day that never comes has arrived, i put up an artificial front, to hide whats inside, to be accepted, to be normal. I am a façade.

by gbw_dl

I just recently started to get into poetry, i find it very emotionally soothing to let your feelings out into words. I put this poem into this section of the forum only because this is how feel about my Diaper Lover life style. Tell me what you think, its like the 3rd serious poem i have ever written. so be lite on the criticism.

Can any one else relate?

[shoelessjoe]

I think what you wrote is more like an idea for a poem than a poem. Try writing more about why you feel like you have to hide who you are and what scares you about society judging you. Take your time and try to share more about how you really feel. I hope that I'm trying to be encouraging comes through.

[Letluvsrool]

No rhyming scheme or pentameter? What makes this poetry and not prose?

[Bettypooh]

It is prose, but the distinction between prose and poetry seems to be graying as 'poetry readings' become the newest social fad At least it's better than karaoke And some structure (see below) would help make it more readable Here's some "Black Bart" who was a stagecoach robber that left behind his poetry after his deeds were done and the pinkertons showed up to investigate:

I've traveled far, and have worked hard for money, fame, and riches

But on my toes too long you've tread, you fine-haired sons of b!tches! :)P

Or Ogden Nash:

I've never seen a purple cow

And never hope to see one

But I can tell you anyhow

I'd rather see than be one

Bettypooh

[diaperbrownie]

This isn't poetry. I wouldn't even go so far as to call it prose (which I've read a lot of in my time). No, this is more like your ordinary paragraph. It has a point, and a conclusion, and makes some generalized statements. Nothing really special. It's good you tried, but try harder. Take the same paragraph and work on it, maybe expand. And if you want to cal it poetry, either make it rhyme or include pentameter. If this was what is defined as "poetry" then I could open up a History textbook and call IT poetry.

I'd like you to work on it, and repost it. There is untapped potential here.

[FretaBWet]

I for one love poetry. I can't give you advise on how to "improve" your work because it's an expression of YOUR emotions and feelings. My advise is to disregard the advise of armchair critics. As a poet you need to be true to your own vision not someone else's. Poetry is art and therefore breaking the rules doesn't make it any less artistic or poetic. Look at the examples of artists who didn't follow the rules. take a look at some of Jackson Pollock's paintings or try reading Finnigan's Wake by James Joyce. Your poem speaks to me not just as someone who loves diapers but as someone who is transgendered. Two more facades and I'd be walled in.

Hugs,

Freta