Self Harm

[Baby Boo]

I'm a Self Harmer and have been since growing up. It kinda sucked at school when you wouldn't be allowed out or to intereact with other kids.

Also sucked being bullied cause you were different. Everybody at school knew I wore and with the info my bullys had it made my life a living hell.

I still get picked on when I bump into my old school friends but I kinda ignore it.

I have thought about ending my life but why let the bullys have the last laugh.

I'm happy now as I have alot of friends even if that mean online friends, well its better than nothing. I still cut myself but haven't cut deep for about a few months.

Well thats in the open now.

[ArchieLoopy]

Baby boo. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Speaking from experience I know bullying sucks and it really can make your life a living hell. The thing you need to remember is that you are here for a reason. By reaching out to us here at DD you are taking a big risk which is very very brave and should be commended. I know this sounds cliche, but it is really true. Please let me know if you would like to talk.

[TDL]

I'm sorry to hear about your past, and that you're cutting yourself to get the pain to be elsewhere made me cry . But stop worrying about the morons trying to get under your skin. Don't think about the past, but focus on the now, as I like to say. You are a great person, and that's why you have friends! They like you because you're being yourself! Only true friends are those who like you for who you are.

[Repaid1]

I don't know what to say..other than thanks for sharing. I have never personally dealt with the cutting thing. But I am with you on the Suicide thing. So I just want you to know...You have those who know what it feels like. Continue to post and talk, Nothing at this point is better. If you have nothing else, know that there are those of us that really can care and understand. Take care. Private if you would like to. Thanks for being you! because without you, well the rest of us would be...just us!

[curiositykilledthecat]

I have to admit that I never understood self harm, I had enough emotional and physical pain from bullies and my folks growing up. I became an emotional eater and would binge eat whenever I was upset. I spent many nights eating boxes of devil dogs and ice cream and so forth. I suppose this is a form of self harm, I did it enough that I gave myself diabetes. I do have to admit that none of my classmates, friends or family realize how close they all came to being the original columbine when I was younger. I was filled with so much rage, pain, anger and still yet even pity. The only thing that kept that from happening was I had a spiritual awakening, a coming to Jesus moment if you will. I still struggled with all the pain but I knew there was a better way to handle it. Hell, I still don't always know the right way to handle things. Hell I hads a friend from church jokingly argue with me for a good fifteen minutes a couple years ago over why I haven't killed myself yet. I laughed, because the reality was I didn't have an answer for him other than I would continue onwards if nothing else, just to piss all the naysayers off.

I understand how you feel with not being normal or fitting in. i grew up with a hormone disorder and one of the neighborhood kids caught wind after my mother talked with his grandmother(for fucks sake why did she tell everyone she met my medical history?) and he turned around and spread a rumor across the whole school that I was a hermaphrodite. Yeah that made the rest of the school years tons of fun. Getting older and still looking like a little kid made middles chool an absolute nightmare and highschool wasn't all that fun. I learned to make my classmates fear me if they would not like or repsect me and to a degree it worked. I was always quiet and never reacted to their criticism to the point they got scared and would leave me be. By the end of eight grade I had classmates sign my year book asking me not to kill them when I got older. Thankfully someone did reach out to me over the summer and by fall of my freshmen year my life slowly changed. It still took many years to get over my depression and learn what things I was doing that was harming myself. Hell I didn't even piece the emotional eating as self harm until I talked with a former cutter this past year. I changed my behaviors and how I look at myself and it is always a daily challenge, however there is hope for you. Please stop cutting or at least seek some help for it. you are going to scar your body and spirit and I'm sure somewhere deep down there is a beautiful woman waiting to embrace the world for who she is and not what people have made her to be. Try using rubber bands to ease the transition if that helps, you don't need to do that to yourself, you aren't substituting pain, you are masking pain. We are all here for you.

[Daddy Fred]

Reading all the above just convinces me more and more just how nasty (in the british sense) and unfeeling kids can be. No illusions here.

Who said this? --

"Anyone who hates kids and dawgs can't be all bad".

Daddy Fred.

[Guest Baby Elaine]

Sweety, I was a self harmer, so I know what it feels like, and I'm not going to tell you its bad, but it is most definotly not good, and is very addictive. If you can get yourself to stop, it will be hard, but one of the best things you could ever do. I'm sorry your being bullied so much, society can be vicious, and cruel, but as you grow up you will grow into something amazing, don't let these people at school get the satisfaction of winning. I was bullied a bit in Elementary and Middle school, but when I moved to the big school, someone tried to bully me and I laughed, because I knew what they were saying wasn't true, and they looked so stupid trying to boost themselves up by putting me down. It changed everything when I started to look at it this way, so just remember, life seems awful now, but it will be OK in the end, and if it's not OK, it isn't the end.

No matter how dark the night, morning always has to come.

If you ever need to talk, feel free to send me a message, not only have I suffered from depression, so I know where your coming from, I plan on training to be a psychologist.

~Mommy Elaine

[acemanner]

yeah, I used to cut, freshman year was absolute shit for me. and it stopped me from getting into the armed forces, which was one of the biggest disappointments in my life. Only thing you can do is wear them as a symbol of your pride as a human being, or at the very least you can use them them as a symbol of your resolve to change and get better. thats what I did and it really helped.

[Baby Jordan]

i understand self harming. just try not to do it as much like potentially find a different way to get the pain for example wear a rubber band around ur wrist n snap it on urself if u get angry. that way u get the ppain in a less harmful way. n also i saw that u should maybe even draw red line on urself w sharpie to help psycholigically having that mark there.