Back In Diapers

[pampers212]

So today was the big day. A box of 10 ABU super dry kids diapers arrived and for the first time in over 25 years I got to experience the feel and the smell of a 90's pampers diaper against my skin. That felt absolutely fabulous! The only other time I've worn an adult sized diaper was a number of years ago, and it was an XL depends pullup, and I was not really sure at the time that I wanted to indulge completely.

Now that I've had the experience and am back in adult pants for now, I have some observations to report:

-Almost immediately after wearing the diaper, I began to feel a little more secure. I can't really explain it, but it felt good.

-Within 5 minutes of putting it on, I felt my bladder begin to relax. My first thought was that maybe I would begin to pee involuntarily, but it still took a conscious effort to release.

-Within about an hour of wearing, I felt my bowels begin to relax as well. But just as with my bladder, I did not release without conscious effort. And even with conscious effort, I was not able or willing to defecate in my diaper.

-After changing back into underwear, I almost immediately began to feel nervous and anxious about being able to hold it in, even though I observed while wearing the diaper that I had to consciously release.

So, I will postulate a theory:

Perhaps there are 2 schools of thought regarding toilet training. One is to punish and shame the child for their accidents, and the other is to comfort and support them in their distress at their mess.

I am going to theorize that the child that is punished and shamed spends a lot of subconscious mental energy on over compensating for a natural continence mechanism that will develop in its own time. The child grows up living constantly in a subtle state of stress and anxiety over some forgotten toilet training lessons. The child, now an adult, finds comfort and pleasure wearing diapers, as this subtle state of stress and anxiety relaxes. After all, if anything were to happen, I am wearing a diaper. No problem.

I am also going to theorize that the child that is comforted and supported in their distress over potty training grows up with a secure and calm sense of continence, not overcompensating, just naturally holding it in until it is time to go. The child grows into an adult, and all is well in this area of their life.

So, what does this all mean? Perhaps the good feeling of comfort and security that a DL experiences when wearing a diaper is supposed to be a normal state of experience when not wearing. Perhaps a non DL cannot understand why a DL enjoys diapers, even if the non DL tries to understand by wearing, because the non DL is already at this state of comfort and security without diapers.

Please discuss.

[Samsam]

This is a brilliant analysis! I would imagine the AB side of it is a more intense need of security; or simply the feeling or relief from stresses of real life. Lawyers, high rank army men, corperate managers, and high responsibility job positions often contain ABs. Its the switch from having huge weight on your shoulders to being looked after with no responsibilities to worry about.

There is one thing that confuses me about fellow DLs. Where does the sexual attraction come from?!

[LILJIM]

I agree diapers can be a "stress" reliever; they have been for me. At different times for different stresses. As for the sex part; I was raised "just don't" so diapers became a "stress" reliever for that too.

[pampers212]

A far as the sex part, for me I was sexually abused by a babysitter while she was changing me. It doesn't get much clearer than that.

[diaperboyMKE]

A far as the sex part, for me I was sexually abused by a babysitter while she was changing me. It doesn't get much clearer than that.

Sounds like fun! No seriously, that's horrible.. but now that I'm an adult, I fantasize about being sexually abused by a baby sitter while being changed all the time.

[pampers212]

Sounds like fun! No seriously, that's horrible..

Believe me, having a diaper fetish is the least of my problems. The emotional baggage I've carried for years over that is not something I'd wish on my worst enemy. Why is it that the steriotypical pedophile is male?

[SmilinBare]

Well written post! Thanks! I can relate to your diapered experience. I don't wear diapers frequently but when I do, I feel so good. Your comments on shame really hit home with me and, even though I don't consciously recall being punished for anything "pee", I suspect I was shamed heavily. I'm going to think on that. Thanks for the astute jump start.

[JDL23]

I like a lot of your points, pampers212. I think there's something to be said for the anxiety of toilet training. I know that my issue as a kid (or so my relatives tell me) was "timing," as I didn't always make it to the toilet in time or was too focused on something else, which resulted in quite a few accidents.

Samsam: I think the sexual attraction bit for DLs comes from the fact that diapers basically cover the genitals and that kind of touch is arousing. I know this mostly from my own experience. Wearing adult underwear is one thing, but with a well-padded diaper, you become more aware of that area below the waist. In my case, though, I also get the same sense of comfort and security from a diaper that an AB might derive.

[pampers212]

Well written post! Thanks! I can relate to your diapered experience. I don't wear diapers frequently but when I do, I feel so good. Your comments on shame really hit home with me and, even though I don't consciously recall being punished for anything "pee", I suspect I was shamed heavily. I'm going to think on that. Thanks for the astute jump start.

One thing about shame is that it can be subtle. "Big boys/girls go in the potty." "Mommy/Daddy isn't very happy with you when you wet yourself." "Only babies wear diapers."

These are all subtle statements that infer shame.

[nhdl]

Well written post. I couldn`t agree more.

[Diaper666]

Well today for me is a good day for being back in diapers while i only have one of these to use im gonna be using it after i get off work tonight before i go to bed its one of the Attends Wasteband (the ones that have 3 tapes YES YOU HEARD ME CORRECTLY 3 TAPES) these are like the attends i use to wear w hen i was a teen and bed wetting its gonna be so nice to see how mutch theyve changed since i last wore one and cant believe they only sent one in a sample pack most places ususally send two briefs for a sample ugh ..........

[pampers212]

So after a couple months of wearing on and off, I have a few more observations to report:

As mentioned in an earlier post, I was sexually abused at the age of 4; it was my babysitter who took advantage of me when she was changing me before bed.

Over the past few weeks of wearing, I have been revisiting some feelings from that event. I can remember that being on the floor and exposed to her while she did many innapropriate things to me was a stressful experience. I felt anxiety, shame, tension, dread. When it was over, she closed up the diaper, which to me was a great relief. So obviously there was a strong association in that moment between being diapered and feelings of relief, security, calm, ect. I had never thought of this before, but it makes complete sense to me now.

[NewGuy20]

Great psychological analysis. Its rare, but occasionally someone gives an AB/DL analysis that makes a lot of sense. That is, when someone at least begins to explain the very things that we (in the community) have wondered about ourselves. Its exciting to read those kinds of analysis because your explanation makes sense even to a normal person. I really truly believe that discussions like these can help us explain to non ABDLs why we do what we do.

I know that it shouldn't be so important what others think of us and that human sexuality is a complex and difficult subject to grasp but, again, wouldn't it be great to explain our desires to a spouse or loved one and have it make at least a little bit of sense?

The other thing I noticed in your post was your mention of children being comforted after a mess/accident. Some potty training books/articles emphasize how important it is to encourage children from a very young age. Right down to encouraging a baby when they use their diaper. Also, great emphasis is put on comforting the child after an accident to ensure that their self esteem isn't damaged. Wetting in a diaper may be comforting because we know, at one time or another, we were comfortable and comforted after doing so... if that makes any sense at all.

But I truly believe that there is a way to explain to people outside the community why we enjoy the things we enjoy. With science and observations, I really think there is a way to explain it to people and have them say "Well... its a little strange... but I guess that explanation makes sense"

[pampers212]

Its exciting to read those kinds of analysis because your explanation makes sense even to a normal person. I really truly believe that discussions like these can help us explain to non ABDLs why we do what we do.

That is what I hope for as well. Thanks for your feedback.

Some more observations:

I have been wearing mostly at night, and I have to say that I have been sleeping better and waking up less tired. Last night, however, I was too tired to bother to diaper up, and I woke up this morning feeling depressed and anxious.

[Guest jbpamperd]

Its so true dipers are a sense of securty befor my injury i used to where at night but through the day i did not cause i was embarased now that i have lost total bladder and bowl control i were 24/7 and i sleep better im less angery i just love life im not embaresed any more now my dr has filled paperwork ot to goverment so they pay for my diapers