What Is Happening To My Body?

[TDL]

Hellow! First off, this thing Bharat bothered me for years, so this thread may be a little bit longer than usual . All my life I've been experiencing heavy difficulties with whether or not my body is right for me and Mr./Ms. Brain. It's like they never get along. When I was about 13, my friends teased me at school because I would walk as a girl (swinging my hips), but I would usually just ignore them. But I started to worry when my own family started to notice! My nails has also always been growing really fast. Not just really, but lighting fast. About one and a half week after I cut my nails, they grow out again with the same length as those fake "glue-paste" ones . You can probably tell that any woman nowadays are jaeloux* because of my finger nails . Also, I've always sat down on a toilet and rarely stand up... And just as you'd think that the wicked part is over, it doesn't end. My thigs has always been quite "bulky" at the upper part of my legs, so it (sorta) creates an illusion of female legs. Oh, and always sit down with my legs crossed, even in the public... I've noticed at restaurants, that I'm always the only guy sitting with my legs crossed! All of this freaks me out, since I was born male. But with all of this happening I sometimes even wonder if this is the body I want. Please, help me out answering this question. In case you would wonder, this is NOT fantasy. All of this is/has happening/happened to me.

Sincerely,

Benjamin

[UBC student DL]

Well, first off, I would tell you that, not matter what anyone else says, you shouldn't feel ashamed of these things you're concerned about and you should be comfortable with who you are and who you want to be

Maybe you should do some research into medical professionals in your area who specialize in "gender identity disorder" or hormone imbalances. Some professionals who could help are endocrinologists and psychiatrists/psychologists. I don't have any experience with gender confusion, but I hope this helps.

Also, doctors are there to give you advice, you don't necessarily have to take it because it is your body. Sorry to rant but many doctors here are so stubborn and pigheaded they practically pretend they can walk on water.

[TDL]

Well, first off, I would tell you that, not matter what anyone else says, you shouldn't feel ashamed of these things you're concerned about and you should be comfortable with who you are and who you want to be

Maybe you should do some research into medical professionals in your area who specialize in "gender identity disorder" or hormone imbalances. Some professionals who could help are endocrinologists and psychiatrists/psychologists. I don't have any experience with gender confusion, but I hope this helps.

Also, doctors are there to give you advice, you don't necessarily have to take it because it is your body. Sorry to rant but many doctors here are so stubborn and pigheaded they practically pretend they can walk on water.

Thank you for your kind reply. Yes, I am indeed gender confused, but do you really think consulting a doctor about this would help? I don't really feel any hormone imbalances, but as I mentioner in my first post, there is a lot of, well, habits, that weakens my masculinity so much that I doubt what I really am. The finger nails thing, is that a sign of hormone imbalance? I'm still confused.

Cheers,

Benjamin

[UBC student DL]

Well, if the fingernail thing is all, that isn't anything to be concerned about. I'm not sure if females' fingernails actually grow faster than males'

In your case, you may want to have a talk to someone who has studied psychology. Job titles can vary, most counselors I've seen are very compassionate, nonjudgmental people. Maybe you have different titles for professionals like those in Denmark (saw your profile location). They might help you decide if you want to make some lifestyle changes or something.

Bottom line: Just talking to people (for example, right here on dailydiapers! lol) will definitely help. I'd recommend looking in the phonebook or online for someone who you could contact if you're hesitant to talk to family/friends. It doesn't have to be someone with a medical degree like a psychiatrist.

[TDL]

Ahh ok... Well, I would be glad if anyone would like to talk to me about this. You can contact me at MSN (I own a Yahoo and AIM account, but can't be arsed with the commercials).

My email is:

pctrolden@live.dk

[Bettypooh]

First see a doctor to be sure that you have no medical problems. They might find things you weren't aware of, but at least you will know what your body is doing. As to your actions,well you can do what you feel like doing or you can try to fight your natural tendencies. Gender isn't one thing or the other- it's a wide spectrum with a lot of area between the extremes, and that's where I live. I can go from feeling like a girl to feeling male in minutes, and it's beyond my control. Each person has to make their own choices about how they are going to deal with issues like that. If you're fully transsexual you won't find peace in your life until you get rid of the parts which are wrong for you. I am able to find enough peace to be sort of happy by allowing myself to express enough of my femininity in different ways. My home is decorated as if a girl lives here (and she does). My work is handled as a male and he does OK there. I could drop the male parts if I wanted to and be happy, but for the fact that I could not get a decent job as an older woman. I cannot rid myself of the female parts- I know because I've tried. It makes for a strange life but it works for me.

If you can't find a way to work these feelings out on your own look for a therapist who has experience with transgenders. If you get deeply depressed for a long time look for any therapist right away. Like being ABDL this isn't going to go away- you have to find a way to have a good life with enough space allowed for the things you cannot change about yourself. How happy you are in the end is equal to how well you handle the unchangeable things. I don't IM or voice chat, but if you like you can PM me here to discuss this further if you want to.

Bettypooh

[Natey]

Hi Benjamin,

It sounds like to me that you are simply less masculine than most guys and instead quite a bit feminine which is perfectly fine as you are you and no one else but you

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Most of what you describe are behaviors which means learned and not innate. Girls are taught to swing their hips at a young age (I remeber my sister being taught how to carry herself at age 8), boys are taught to stand up to pee (I remember that when I was 4), your nails grow as long as they do because you let them. Old Chinese Emperors used to have long nails as a sign of being aristocreats whose job did not include manual labor amd there are girl guitar players. Playing guitar requires keeping your nails clipped very short. the shape of your thighs relative to the rest of your leg is a matter of biology or physical training. Most of these are matters of habit. If you wanted to change them you could, The idea of being "trapped in the wrong body" is, with very rare exception, nonsense. The body is the pre-existent product of nature which includes your brain. Your physical structure is the given and the place from which you start. Since I do not have the specifics of your development; that is, where you learned to swing your hips or sit down to pee, I cannot comment on those specifics. only the generalities that are there.

Knowing that puts you way ahead of the game. Instead of complaining you now have the option to change things if you want or "ratify" what you want by choice, I am an ALG and an LG of long standing (since I was 6). The best thing that was done for me was that I was taken aside and and given the straight story and, having been enlightened given the choices and the means to make and carry them out without driving myself crazy. I am very happy with myself and function well with either gender. One ALG put it like this. Sex is physical, gender is between the ears". I consider myself fortunate, I can lead two lives and appreciate both of them.

You might benefit from some gender counselling so that you can put things and behaviors in perspective. Otherwise, it will make mincemeat of you.

[Saschadzg]

Hello,

I recommend visting the nearest transgender support group, because many stories from us are simliar. They also know the right doctors and therapists in your area.

Kvetinka

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

This was the best. I used to hang out here. Have not been there in a while. They had a monster resource list

TGGuide

[beallucanb]

TDL I was and still am a lot like you, I'm now old and doing just fine, over the years I have just practiced acting more butch to get by and it worked, I still am wider in the hips and shaped more like a girl, my nails still grow quite fast, I always cross my legs when I sit, I got over sitting down to pee, simply because I use mens rooms.

You just need to choose which life you want to lead, I do think life is more easy now than when I was your age as far as being accepted as being different .

Good Luck B

[TDL]

Thanks for all the responses, guys! Would anyone bother to make a list of abbreviations? I can't seem to keep track of all of them .

[doggybaby]

Hellow! First off, this thing Bharat bothered me for years, so this thread may be a little bit longer than usual . All my life I've been experiencing heavy difficulties with whether or not my body is right for me and Mr./Ms. Brain. It's like they never get along. When I was about 13, my friends teased me at school because I would walk as a girl (swinging my hips), but I would usually just ignore them. But I started to worry when my own family started to notice! My nails has also always been growing really fast. Not just really, but lighting fast. About one and a half week after I cut my nails, they grow out again with the same length as those fake "glue-paste" ones . You can probably tell that any woman nowadays are jaeloux* because of my finger nails . Also, I've always sat down on a toilet and rarely stand up... And just as you'd think that the wicked part is over, it doesn't end. My thigs has always been quite "bulky" at the upper part of my legs, so it (sorta) creates an illusion of female legs. Oh, and always sit down with my legs crossed, even in the public... I've noticed at restaurants, that I'm always the only guy sitting with my legs crossed! All of this freaks me out, since I was born male. But with all of this happening I sometimes even wonder if this is the body I want. Please, help me out answering this question. In case you would wonder, this is NOT fantasy. All of this is/has happening/happened to me.

Sincerely,

Benjamin

I share most of the same "symptoms" but I have never ever considered myself as transgendered. I always toy around with the idea as dressing up as a girl and go out. But i never thought of of myself as trans.

[KittenAB]

TDL, I'm likely to be repetitive here, but the things that are "feminine" and the things that are "masculine" are actually taught, not natural. Male nails grow stronger and thicker than females, thus why it was such a status symbol for females to have long nails, because it's harder to keep them while males it's easy. Swaying hips are learned to, again that depends on your skeletal structure not your gender, while it's more common for women to have wider hips (mainly after giving birth) men do have them as well, most men overcompensate by walking like gorillas (another trained behavior). Thighs are a common location for fat to be stored, because it's so close to you buttocks which should have a lot of fat to protect your bones when you sit. Don't worry about the labels, really none of them are ever truly accurate, just be who you WANT to be, that is all you can do. Ultimately the biggest difference between what is male and female is all fashion, nothing more. It's just not worth worrying about.

[TDL]

be who you want, and who you are. Dont worry about society, simply enjoy life to its fullest and do whatever makes you happy.

Trying as hard as I can!

[KittenAB]

Trying as hard as I can!

The trick is to not worry about what other people think.

[TDL]

The trick is to not worry about what other people think.

But that's hard