How Did You Start?

[ginjeet]

I have no idea when or how it started(I guess I

[willnotwill]

ARGHGHH!!!! I thought this would be a good topic to start my blog here about and I'd just finished typing about two pages of my history of 38 years in diapers and it disappeared. I'll do it again, but I'm not up to it now.

Here's the Reader's Digest Condensed Version.

Had a minor incident of abuse by an older kid left in charge of my kindergarten class locking me in a closet as punishment that led to all sorts of school punishment fantasies that eventually involved being punished in diapers. Made diapers out of towels and plastic pants out of trash bags until I found you could buy such in the larger pharmacies. Pretty crude back then (early seventies). Finally started to see disposable diapers about the time I was in college. In the mid eighties was on CompuServe and found the AB community there. Never knew before that there were others like me. My girlfriend (eventually my wife) found my stuff and took to it and kept me diapered at night for a long time. Still tolerates it but doesn't play as much as she used to. Also got into "forced to dress in girl's clothes and ballet costumes" fantasies so I've got dresses (wedding, cheerleader, evening gowns) and more often than not girl's panties on if I'm not wearing diapers.

I'll get back to the long version on the blog one of these days.

[Elle]

Considering the amount of times this comes up, would it be prudent to sticky a topic regarding this? Anyway, I've had an interest in diapers for literally as long as I can remember. I can't really say why, it just seems to be some innate quirk that has always been there. In the past few years I've been more exploratory with age play aspect out of curiosity, I suppose, and I've found it rather soothing.

[The Little Marcin]

Nicky, I loved your story!

As for me: I was potty trained fairly early (I probably had some accidents here and there but nothing unusual for my age). I had excellent childhood and I received a lot of love and care from my parents. I was really naive and carefree kid, who would always stay behind his mommy. My mum tried to put me in nursery (kindergarden) but it almost broke her heart cause I always tried to hold to her and cried desperately to stay with her. After 3rd day my mum realised I hated kindergarden and he couldn't leave me no more. So I stayed with her. Every attempt she made to make me more independent usually failed. She loved me so much that she couldn't reject my secret weapon: I was ultra-adorable and I loved hugs! Any time I wanted her help she would be there. Every toy for Christmas I wanted - she would get it for me. But I was rewarding. I always gave back a lot to the best of my ability: I was crafting cards for her, I was giving her drawings etc.

As for the school- I was a crybaby. I remember my 2nd day in school. I was about 8 I think and I started to cry because another kid took my chair I had one day before I kept playing with my toys- few years longer than kids in my age. Until I was 10 I kept asking my mum if she cause clean me after I used toilet. She couldn't say no: I was so cute and I was very skinny, fragile looking child. She kept asking: "wouldn't you feel embarrassed if your friend would find out that you don't clean yourself after you use toilet?" I always smiled and shouted: "no!". I added that I know how to do it, but I just like her helping me

When I was about 12 I started to use toilet roll and pieces of duct tape to make nappies. I didn't even know why? It just felt so natural and I wanted to use them for no apparent reason.

So I did. Afterwards I would cut them with scissors and flush them in toilet. I never pooped in them though.

When I was older: between 13-15 years old I started to explore my interests further. I was really embarrassed when I went to baby store and purchased a pack of pampers size 6. I was so terrified that sales advisor lady would look at my suspiciously. I even made a story in my mind that if she asks me why I'm buying them - it's cause my mum works in nursery. Obviously she didn't ask me anything. Simply took money, gave change, bagged nappies and gave them to me. I was sooooo happy! When I started using them that was mind blowing. I simply LOVED the feeling.

Then I started to get bibs, baby food, binkies (pacifiers), baby bottles etc. I didn't have a clue that there were other people like me. When I was 15 my mum found some bags with wet nappies. I told her that that was a bet with my friend. I think she believed (unless she saw hidden baby accessories and simply made my think that my secret was safe). She asked me: "how is it to pee in your diaper?", I was embarrassed and answered: "it was quite strange, unique feeling". After that I didn't have any encounter like that. I was more careful but also I think that my mum were not that fussed.

Obviously now I've got a full collection of baby clothes, cloth and disposable nappies, accessories etc. I just need to find a new mummy or daddy who want to take care of me!

[Eir]

I will attempt an answer.

At my childhood house, my cousins and I were at the swing set, I turned it around and yelled DIAPER BABIES!!! wearing the swingset sideways like a diaper. My cousins thought it was funny, they copied me. My mom caught this, she said, "You're diaper babies, huh" I denied it strongly, so strongly I denied it to myself.

When I was eight, I was at school, and I got a very nasty flu. I was in the field, when I felt my stomache rumble. I had diarrhea, and I had to go now. I ran all the way to the boys bathroom, but i exploded just as I was touching the cubicle door! I walked out of the bathroom, told the noon duty aid what happened. I was sent to the office, and I waited in poopy pants for my mom to come get me, I remember enjoying the sensation. I was sick for two weeks. But I will never remember the mixture of rage and humiliation my mom brought with her. DON"T EVEN TELL ME YOU POOPED YOUR PANTS!!!!! Was the result when the secretary told my mother about "my little sliding accident"

I was a late bedwetter, until Junior High. How my parents got me to stop, they would buy me a supersoaker, CPS 2000 if could stay dry for a month. I traded bedwetting for a giant water gun, a phallic symbol? I must have found it comforting on some level.

Fast forward to now. I have suffered paruresis since I was eight years old. That was fifteen years ago, give or take several months. That is the medical term for shy bladder. A year ago, last November I realized that not only is it possible to defeat shy bladder, but that NO ONE EVER GROWS OUT OF IT!!! Paruresis keeps a person from being able to urinate in either the earshot or sight of other people, and it is a living hell. I heard horrifying stories, where men were still struggling with this in their fifties and sixties, that their wives never knew, and their lives were seriously curtailed as a result! Some men could not leave their homes, and some were forced to use catheters!! I have used several different treatments for this, self help. Some were helpful, some were not. Some like hypnosis were a waste of money, and actually made things out. I picked up an ebook about 2 months ago by Alexander Heinz, author of The Ultimate Paruresis Guide. He teaches sufferers to meditate in a fashion that links a number, from 12 to one to the corresponding body part they are relaxing. You memorize the chart by heart. The long count takes roughly an hour, you do this every night, and then you tense the perineum as hard as you can, and then you release it. You tense the perineum for ten seconds, release, do it ten times. He also has you visualize using a public urinal. But I had a problem, I had problems being honest when I visualized. I realized that I would need something to keep me honest. There were days when I would consume as much water as possible so I could count down, use my home toilet while visualizing a urinal, and then release. The act of counting down made me desperate, I actually wet my pants a few times!

When I visualized I began to wear diapers made of bath towels and packing tape, and used plastic trash bags as plastic pants. I did wet runs, so to speak. I visualized a urinal, walked up to it, did the step (when I was at home) I counted backwards from 12 to 1, and I released. I could tell right away if I was successful, as I would wet the diaper. It was very hard of first, but became easier. My inhibitions against using diapers were as strong as my inhibitions against using a urinal. (I could not use the latter because I would be seen urinating, but did not have a problem if no one was in the restroom). Then I began to meditate on a plastic sheet (shower curtain) on top of an air mattress. I would meditate, doing the long count for an hour. Then I would torture my perinium, and then I would do the short count. I would not leave the crib without a soggy diaper! The first time I did this it felt like I was trying to pass a burning bowling ball. Another time I was able to release, and pee helplessly, and allow my diaper to slowly fill. Then I would tense the perinium, and see if I cound contdown and not wet. (I am trying to break myself, so I can become incontinent when I am standing infront of a urinal and have a clear shot) This was very euphoric and very babyish. I realize that I found wearing diapers comforting, and I am trying to transition that comfort to public restrooms. I can not go unless I release myself. But I surprised myself lastnight when I got a soggy diaper while meditating, this was highly unusual as I did not release! Two days ago I was in class, was released just in time, I felt Like I was very close to having a real accident. (I could be bursting and not release, which is torture) I got the the restroom, the stall was taken, and the only option was the urinal next to a classmate, AND I WAS ABLE TO USE IT!!!!!!!

I have spent several nights in the "crib room" sleeping on the air mattress and plastic shower curtain, wetting my diaper after meditating, and waking up soaked!!! I became ABDL as an all out declaration of War against Shy Bladder. I would not wish paruresis on anyone, not even an enemy!! Now I am fighting like a BABY!!!

[ABRPTS]

I was a bed wetter until 9 years old. I just wanred to wear rubber pantsbut did not have any to wear. Stole a pair from a neighbors close line and put thyem on. Strange but nice feeling. Next I foud a rubber sheet and asked my mother to pin it on me. She did but did not askany questions. After that I began sneeking that rubber sheet and pinning it on. Boy that rubber sheet had a lot of pin holes in it. At 13 I was wearing it and had a funny sensation which fely so good and this white stickey stuff was inside when i took it of. After that I was hooked. Been wearing since then and one day foun the internet sites. Wow a great resource.

Wearing thick cloth diaper now and a pair of snap on yellow pastel plastic pants , just love tio wear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[xtekvet]

I was a bed wettewr until the age of 11. My mother would diaper me before bed every night in cloth diapers and plastic pants. She would remove my wet diapers every morning. Around the age of ten I started to really enjoy my mother diapering me and loved the feeling in the morning of the warm, wet diapers. I wore diapers many times after I stopped bed wetting and was caught several times by my mother. I still wear thick cloth diapers and plastic pants to bed every night and some times during the day.

[softndry]

Just remember about age 4 or 5 (about as far back as my memory works) always wanting to be in soft cloth diapers and plastic pants. Never had bedwetting problem just wanted to wear diapers for the comfort and sensual feelings they always provided. So 50 years later the strong desire has never left so just keep enjoying my cloth diapers.

[LittleFoxKit]

For me it started out as a diaper fetish. I was always interested in diapers. After a while I wanted to wear them, and went from liking it to loving it. Then all the other things came with it, I started to feel little, which was great... and then the other AB stuff; bottles, pacis, plushies and everything else.

when I am alone I fantasize of being a baby and wearing diapers again 24/7...being treated like a baby.

I feel exactly the same way... it's nice. :3