So Many Dl/Ab In Cali.Now.

[mike indiapers]

I am an AB/DL living in San Diego and have kept me lifestyle in the closet for far too long. I do worry about exposing my lifestyle to others that could jeopardize my professional and community standing, but feel lonely about not being able to express my ABDL side to others that understand. It is a classic dilema and I wish our society was more tolerent and accepting of our community. The fact that we participate in Pride events shows to me that we are still viewed as not normal - which is too bad. It would be so great if our society was more openminded about AB/DLs. I would love to participate in a group of discrete, professional AB/DL members in SoCal from time to time that are laid back and easygoing about the lifestyle we choose. Just my thoughts on the topic.

[BriGuy]

I am an AB/DL living in San Diego and have kept me lifestyle in the closet for far too long. I do worry about exposing my lifestyle to others that could jeopardize my professional and community standing, but feel lonely about not being able to express my ABDL side to others that understand. It is a classic dilema and I wish our society was more tolerent and accepting of our community. The fact that we participate in Pride events shows to me that we are still viewed as not normal - which is too bad. It would be so great if our society was more openminded about AB/DLs. I would love to participate in a group of discrete, professional AB/DL members in SoCal from time to time that are laid back and easygoing about the lifestyle we choose. Just my thoughts on the topic.

Well the first thing to understanding ourselves is coming to the realization that this fraction of the fetish/lifstyle community ISN'T very normal or common. Normality is something the general aggregate participate in and as a community we are only a small fraction of the whole population. I doubt wearing and using diapers for something other than medical need will ever be looked at as normal. Here's where the hurdle comes into play... Once we as a group realize that we are NOT normal but embrace our idiosyncrasies as something positive ONLY then will the public will start to understand more. Hate and bigotry are created from ignorance and ignorance is the lack of knowledge. The only possible way ignorance can be reduced is though education and face time. Granted there will always be those stupid people who are so myopic they can't see past their nose; but they are a dying breed.

My personal experience with this lifestyle/fetish or whatever you want to call it; is your general person in the public is quite understanding and even amused. I learned this through my experiences with Heidi Tami, and Ducky. It is amazing how my eyes were opened because I too was once afraid of ridicule and hate. We do the whole pride parade because 1: we like the idea that surrounds their premise. Which is be proud of who you are and 2. It provides a positive and appropriate forum for which we can spread the word. People don't know much about us because many of those who are responsible and have a head on our shoulders keep to themselves. It seems as though the few that do go out don't have their head screwed on straight thus giving us a bad image. It is our responsibility to stand up against those negative views and show that we aren't all complete freaks.

I enjoy meeting people in real life, the ab/dl friends I have made face to face are hands above many of my other friends because they know ALL of me. It is a very amazing feeling to finally have someone to talk to about EVERYTHING and know they understand you and where you come from.

Tami, Duck, and I will continue doing what we do and offer for others to join. But my first order of business is making fiends, then my second order is passing the word.

Tami and Duck, if you are reading this thank you for taking the big step and making our internet friendship a reality friendship, my life has been enriched because of the friendships I have forged with you.

We are all in this together, and we me may never have full approval of the general population but at the end of the day I have to live with myself and not with what others think of me.

Power to the AB/DL's! *holds fist high in the air.*

~Brian

[square_duck]

Well the first thing to understanding ourselves is coming to the realization that this fraction of the fetish/lifstyle community ISN'T very normal or common. Normality is something the general aggregate participate in and as a community we are only a small fraction of the whole population. I doubt wearing and using diapers for something other than medical need will ever be looked at as normal. Here's where the hurdle comes into play... Once we as a group realize that we are NOT normal but embrace our idiosyncrasies as something positive ONLY then will the public will start to understand more. Hate and bigotry are created from ignorance and ignorance is the lack of knowledge. The only possible way ignorance can be reduced is though education and face time. Granted there will always be those stupid people who are so myopic they can't see past their nose; but they are a dying breed.

My personal experience with this lifestyle/fetish or whatever you want to call it; is your general person in the public is quite understanding and even amused. I learned this through my experiences with Heidi Tami, and Ducky. It is amazing how my eyes were opened because I too was once afraid of ridicule and hate. We do the whole pride parade because 1: we like the idea that surrounds their premise. Which is be proud of who you are and 2. It provides a positive and appropriate forum for which we can spread the word. People don't know much about us because many of those who are responsible and have a head on our shoulders keep to themselves. It seems as though the few that do go out don't have their head screwed on straight thus giving us a bad image. It is our responsibility to stand up against those negative views and show that we aren't all complete freaks.

I enjoy meeting people in real life, the ab/dl friends I have made face to face are hands above many of my other friends because they know ALL of me. It is a very amazing feeling to finally have someone to talk to about EVERYTHING and know they understand you and where you come from.

Tami, Duck, and I will continue doing what we do and offer for others to join. But my first order of business is making fiends, then my second order is passing the word.

Tami and Duck, if you are reading this thank you for taking the big step and making our internet friendship a reality friendship, my life has been enriched because of the friendships I have forged with you.

We are all in this together, and we me may never have full approval of the general population but at the end of the day I have to live with myself and not with what others think of me.

Power to the AB/DL's! *holds fist high in the air.*

~Brian

You're welcome...back at ya

qwack

[mike indiapers]

As I reflect more on this topic, I am really not looking for general acceptance by the public as much as an opportunity to express myself to those that do understand and share my lifestyle. Being an AB/DL can be a lonely existence and it would be nice to have friends that understand the feelings and needs of living this lifestyle. I remember feeling very lonely and different in childhood having to wear diapers when my peers were all potty trained. It was during that time when my AB/DL feelings grew strong and I got attached to being in diapers. I have finally accepted that being an AB/DL is part of me and something not to be ashamed of or guilty about. At the same time, I keep my AB/DL side very private from my professional life because it is not any ones' business but mine and I don't feel that it is worth the time to explain or defend my feelings and needs to those that will probably not understand and are quick to judge. It would be so great to get to know others in the Southern California area that feel the same way.

[Carl2229]

[/quOver the years I have met so many attorneys who are into AB we joke about forming our own section of the ABA. These AB attorneys include judges, prosecutors, criminal defense counsel, litigators and many other specialties.

ote]

Angela, I have always admired your courage for being as open as you are in our community, especially considering your professional standing. I can see how maintaining a discrete but public profile would open up many possiblities for others to open up to you as AB/DLs. Because we try to keep this part of us secret, we will only open up to others that we know will understand.

How many of us have neighbors, friends, even family members that are ABs or DLs, and we don't even know it? Back before the internet, I was a member of DPF, and there was another member that had a P.O. Box just five boxes down from mine. I never met him, but I saw his name and address on the member roster.

Not to Hijack this thread, but has anyone here ever discovered that someone close to them was into our lifestyle/fetish?

[enfant]

Not to Hijack this thread, but has anyone here ever discovered that someone close to them was into our lifestyle/fetish?

Not exactly, but... I work for a very small company. Last year I went to an AB/DL munch, and one of the other people there noticed that I was wearing a shirt with the company logo on it. He asked me about it, and when I told him where I work and what I do for a living, he just stood there for a minute gaping and saying "wow!" over and over again, and then he told me his name, and I recognized it. He used to work for the same company, doing the exact same job I do now, but he'd left before I was hired.

[square_duck]

Not exactly, but... I work for a very small company. Last year I went to an AB/DL munch, and one of the other people there noticed that I was wearing a shirt with the company logo on it. He asked me about it, and when I told him where I work and what I do for a living, he just stood there for a minute gaping and saying "wow!" over and over again, and then he told me his name, and I recognized it. He used to work for the same company, doing the exact same job I do now, but he'd left before I was hired.

You're not the only one who had that happen. There is someone here that used to work for the same company I did back in the 80's, and we worked on the same project for Sanrio corp, but I think he was in japan for the installation and I stayed in Calif. he's in another state now, but it still blows me away knowing that I came >< this close to another AB/DL type, back when I didn't even know this community existed....I still have some momentos from that job too, company jacket and a pen and coffee cup...weird.

qwack

[Angela Bauer]

Back in October 1990 when I started going to ABDL parties in Hollywood and West Hollywood, I met a whole bunch of other attorneys from Downtown Los Angeles law firms and public agencies such as the District Attorney, the Los Angeles City Attorney and the Public Defenders. Frequently I would see these folks in more formal clothing while I was rushing from courtroom to courtroom or while eating in the restaurants and cafeterias around the court buildings. Chris Taylor was my first close AB pal. He was an associate with a law firm in the building next to ours. Our firms often worked together, although Chris and I never were assigned to the same project.

Since 1990 at many American Bar Association conferences and similar legal occasions I have met people who have mentioned seeing me in DPF and other AB sites. None have ever used that information against me.

[Horndog]

Back in October 1990 when I started going to ABDL parties in Hollywood and West Hollywood, I met a whole bunch of other attorneys from Downtown Los Angeles law firms and public agencies such as the District Attorney, the Los Angeles City Attorney and the Public Defenders. Frequently I would see these folks in more formal clothing while I was rushing from courtroom to courtroom or while eating in the restaurants and cafeterias around the court buildings. Chris Taylor was my first close AB pal. He was an associate with a law firm in the building next to ours. Our firms often worked together, although Chris and I never were assigned to the same project.

Since 1990 at many American Bar Association conferences and similar legal occasions I have met people who have mentioned seeing me in DPF and other AB sites. None have ever used that information against me.

That's pretty cool. It's nice that I can fit into that niche as a law student. I know I've said that in this thread already, but I'm still in awe over the fact that there are so many attorneys who are part of the AB/DL scene.

[square_duck]

I think they need to diapers for when they either loose a case (holy sh*t I'm fired now) or they win a case....and are so excited they wet themselves

[mike indiapers]

It is so refreshing to see so many well-adjusted, successful, good-hearted people among us in the AB/DL community, many living in California. Until finding this community on the web and knowing that others existed just like myself, I always thought my AB/DL side as something I alone had inside of me. It is great that there are so many of us out there. Daily life is hard enough, and I am finding that having having others to talk to and share experiences in the AB/DL community is really opening up this side of me and helping feel better about who I am. I hope to return the favor and make new friends. Happy Valentines Day!

[waynecook52]

It is so refreshing to see so many well-adjusted, successful, good-hearted people among us in the AB/DL community, many living in California. Until finding this community on the web and knowing that others existed just like myself, I always thought my AB/DL side as something I alone had inside of me. It is great that there are so many of us out there. Daily life is hard enough, and I am finding that having having others to talk to and share experiences in the AB/DL community is really opening up this side of me and helping feel better about who I am. I hope to return the favor and make new friends. Happy Valentines Day!

Mike,i think allmost all of us at one time or anouther thought we where alone in our ab/dl side of us. I was untill i was 32.Thats when i found dpf.And i would like to send a thanks to all who have responed to this thread.It means alot to me.

[Guest]

In June 1989 I moved back to Los Angeles after eight years back East going to university and law school.

I just moved back here after completing law school in May. I have been looking for a job since I took the bar in july but have been unable to find anything in this job market but 3 interviews and no job offers. I am guessing the job market back in '89 was much better no?

[Angela Bauer]

I just moved back here after completing law school in May. I have been looking for a job since I took the bar in july but have been unable to find anything in this job market but 3 interviews and no job offers. I am guessing the job market back in '89 was much better no?

Hi There, Counselor!

It is so very sad that even in the legal profession unemployment is very high. My older partners do not remember an era when it was this terrible. Our firm usually forms a relationship with prospective associates while they are in pre-law or even high school. We still have an active mentoring program for youngsters as young as nine. I am one of the lucky ones who benefited so much from being mentored. I was already seriously thinking about a career in law when a female attorney spoke to my fifth grade class on career day. She told us that she was a litigation associate attorney with the Downtown Los Angeles office of a big corporate law firm. I had a million questions. After the presentation she talked to me privately. A couple of weeks later I was invited to join this mentoring program. Our firm still believes in the future of the legal profession and I totally agree. Most of the young people we mentor do not go on to study law. Perhaps this is a good result. However, those who do have had the chance to see the downsides to the practice of law, especially the long hours put in by partners and even longer hours expected of associates.

Therefore in late 2008 all my fellow partners of our firm agreed we would contribute to a fund from which we could pay second and third year associates part of there normal income to take voluntary lay-off during which they would practice pro bono law in the public interest. All that was because we had these talented and motivated law students coming along. We needed space to hire most of them as scheduled. Unfortunately we have also needed to terminate far more associates than normal, even some who might eventually have been partnership material. In better times some of those would have had an additional year of development as an associate, because sometimes really great attorneys do not show full potential until their third or fourth year as an associate.

This year we simply cannot afford to hire all the young people we want. We will offer far fewer students summer jobs, so we all get to know one another. Personally I am very worried that in 2020 this will cut into our ranks of experienced partners, especially in the litigation department. By then I am sure I will either retire or vastly reduce my own hours.

Today there is a fascinating article in the Los Angeles Times about recent law school graduates joining small firms or opening sole-practices. The concept is these firms can change focus more quickly. Of course bad times can result in ethical short-cuts. There are so many news reports of desperate attorneys ripping off clients, especially in the loan-modification field. It really makes me sad, especially on President's Day.

Getting back to your question, 1989 was still influenced by the downturn of 1984. Back in 1984 many high quality associates were fired due to lack of work. I was still in pre-law then and felt the pain. That was why instead of reporting for work right after graduation in 1988, I accepted a research law clerkship with a Federal Circuit Court of Appeals. During the remainder of 1988 and early 1989 I flew around the USA taking additional bar exams, so I would be licensed in several states where our firm has offices.

Sadly with budget cuts there are fewer research law clerkships available. My heart goes out to everyone still in law school, especially those I have mentored personally for years.

[Guest]

It would be so great to get to know others in the Southern California area that feel the same way.

hey mike, I am in San Diego as well and feel pretty much the same way as you indicate in your posts. Even though most peoe I know are aware of this side of me I still get odd looks and comments... Hit me up on here if you want. I dunno if this site does PMs like diaper space.

[Carl2229]

Well if we did exchange snail mail it would have to be dpf.I got out of dpf sometime in 92.Could not aford it anymore.In my moves i have made back here lost the newsletters i had got here.Oh well

I still have all of my DPF newsletters from the same timeframe in storage. I could copy them and send them to you to replace the ones you lost. I doubt that anyone would care about copyrights at this stage. It might take me a while to get to it though.