Question About Girlfriends Who Participate ...

[NewGuy20]

Hey everyone, I'm new here, a tad shy, and I'm looking for advice. Before last month I had never told or spoken to anyone about my fetish. I have a diaper fetish but there is a lot about age play that interests me so I guess I am a little bit of an infantalist too. I don't like drinking out of bottles, wearing baby clothes, or sleeping in a crib. But I'd love for a women to change my diaper. I guess I am looking to speak to people who have had some experience in the world of dating and relationships and how everything works when you have a fetish as strange as the one we all have.

I'm looking for advice because I recently told my girlfriend about my fetish. I told her that I enjoyed wearing diapers and explained that it had nothing to do with children, etc. I didn't mention my infantalist tenancies or my interest in age play. We've been dating for over a year. She was surprised to say the least but she responded fairly well even suggesting that I should wear around her sometime. I wore a diaper under some sweat pants and we cuddled on her couch and watched some television. She didn't seem to treat me any differently. Several days after that, I brought up the topic in conversation asking her if she had been okay with me wearing around her. She said that she had no problem with it and even apologized that we didn't get to "enjoy it more" or something along those lines. I also tried to explain my infantalist tendencies and my interest in age play during this conversation. She was very mature about the whole thing and essentially said "Well, we could talk more about age play but I am not sure if that is something I'd be comfortable with."

So, to those who have girlfriends (especially non-AB/DL girlfriends) who participate in their fetish is this----- How can I get my girlfriend more involved in my fetish? Is there a way to gradually ease her into it? I don't want to freak her out but I think there is a good chance that someday she might be able to be more involved. I don't want to rush things. I'd like her to be more involved but, at the same time, I certainly don't want to make her uncomfortable.

What experiences have you guys had with your significant other? Are there ways to introduce them to it gradually? Is it possible that, if given the time to adjust to it, some might be interested participating?

Thanks in advance for all your input, guys. I've had this fetish for as long as I can recall but the relationship aspects are all very new to me.

[jeremy12312]

The number one thing to realize is that the level she's at currently may be as far as she ever gets. If you accept that, then however deep she goes into it will be a pleasant experience. If you push it on her, and she has made it clear that there are aspects that she's not comfortable with, she'll resent the fetish, and possibly you.

Mine is the first girlfriend that I exposed the diapers to, too. I was lucky in that we already had a hardcore BDSM relationship, so we were able to work the diapers into the power exchange. She really wasn't into it at first, but after a while, she came around. She will never, and I mean NEVER, change my diapers, and I accept that. She hates the smell of poop, so I have to change immediately afterwards despite how much I like to wait. I'd love it if she was more into those things, sure, but the fact that she goes for it at all is fantastic.

Finally, make sure this isn't the only aspect of your sexuality with her. It's always a relief to tell someone about this, and have them accept it. But, if it's all you ever talk about, or the only way that you have sex, she'll be turned off to the whole idea. So, enjoy what you have in moderation.

Best of luck!

[NewGuy20]

Thanks for the advice! And just to clarify, I have explained to her that this isn't the ONLY thing that interests me sexually and outside of diapers (which is literally something I told her about within the last 3 weeks) we get along great sexually.

You say "She wasn't into it at first but, after a while, she came around". How exactly does that happen? Did you give her space and not mention the subject. Did you have long conversations about it? I guess I just don't want to do the wrong things or waste opportunities if there is a chance that someday my girlfriend might "come around" to the whole idea.

Perhaps there are 'seeds' I can plant that may someday grow and bare fruit.

[jeremy12312]

You say "She wasn't into it at first but, after a while, she came around". How exactly does that happen? Did you give her space and not mention the subject. Did you have long conversations about it? I guess I just don't want to do the wrong things or waste opportunities if there is a chance that someday my girlfriend might "come around" to the whole idea.

In my particular case, I don't think my girlfriend would have participated at all if I was into ageplay. She automatically related anyone who wore diapers with AB's, which was a 100% turnoff for her. As mentioned previously, our relationship has a heavy D/s slant to it. What brought her around was an article floating around the net about diaper domination. The concept just clicked. Things were still a little odd at first, but the more familiar she became with it, the more comfortable it became. We had an understanding that if at anytime she was uncomfortable with what we were doing, it would be done, and that was that. That kept me in check from being really aggressive about anything. For a while it felt like I was walking on eggshells, but now that she's used to it, everything's peaches and cream.

The key is slow. There are no wasted opportunities. You lived for this long without including her in your heaviest fantasies, what's a little more time?

[abypk82]

I always enjoy passing on my experience with others in this situation. Anyway, I have to agree that you have to accept that she may never be as willing a participant as you want her to be. I have had to do this twice actually with one serious girlfriend of mine a while back, and then now with my wife. Let her decide how involved she wants to be, just continue what your doing, or to be more accurate wearing and maybe just maybe you'll spark an interest in her. She'll probably come around to being a little more involved in it as time goes on, the important thing in this situation is that she accepts you, not your fetish. My wife was the same way at first where she let me do my thing and was okay with it, and I have actually gotten her to wear diapers herself, and change me, more pretend like because she's okay changing me right now as long as I'm actually dry, or unsoiled so to say.

[enfant]

So, to those who have girlfriends (especially non-AB/DL girlfriends) who participate in their fetish is this----- How can I get my girlfriend more involved in my fetish?

By doing exactly what you've done, and then waiting. (While, and this is important, being a really good boyfriend. If you meet her needs, she'll want to meet yours, and will feel affectionate enough toward you to work hard at it.)

The main piece of advice I give people is one you don't need, and that's "don't act ashamed". When I told my then-fianceé-now-wife about this aspect of myself, I was really down on myself about having a fetish. So I broke it to her like I was telling her I'd eaten her puppy or something. She was much more open-minded than I was at the time; she couldn't see a thing wrong with me having a kink--but she assumed there must be something wrong with it or I wouldn't be acting so weird. That set us back for a long time. Ultimately, it wasn't really me that got her more into it, it more like she convinced me that it was okay for me to be who I was, and all the good things followed from that.

Now, you seem to be pretty okay with yourself already, which is great. So just follow your instincts. Be playful, be honest about what you like and what you want to experience, be generous in bed and out, and concentrate on building a strong and happy relationship, and I think you'll like the results.

[JeiSiN]

I think the majority of my posts are answering this question in some form. So check some of my past posts for some organized chaos of wonderful information... But of course, I'll go on!!

My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year. When I realized how strong my desires were for being an AB based on past experiences with a few older Mommies, and from some bad reactions from girls in the past (including one telling a whole bunch of people and feeling depressed going to school everyday for months.. even though they didn't treat me any differently... I was a walking zombie stoned all the time so I dealt with it haha) but anyways. I thought I couldn't tell her and I could never have a long lasting relationship with her, at at the 6-month point in our relationship and a few arguments brought on by me acting weird, we pretty much broke up by the lake where we had one of our first dates. On the way back to the car, it wasn't feeling right. I decided that I didn't have anything to lose anymore in telling her -- we were broken up and I'd probably never see her again and she didn't know my friends well enough to go telling people shit. So I spit it all out, and she was cool with it... like she had heard something about it on SexTV and stuff and wasn't disgusted by it, but thought it was a little weird like all fetishes. So it was a surprise to her, but it wasn't like her finding out that Jesus didn't exist or something and she was deadset against it haha. Fun fact: a week before I told her, she was in a sex shop and a diaper fell off the rack from a baby costume! Holy omens Batman, should have saw that one coming!

We went out to dinner and it was awkward because of the conversations we'd had. But I felt a new vigor and she stayed over that night and diapered me! I showed her pics and some websites to help her understand and she was very willing. When she was diapering me, she said "I can't believe I'm putting my 22 year old boyfriend in a diaper.." (which turned me on big time) but she was not really disgusted, but it was surely weird because ANYTHING new/different seems that way at first --> and this is where I go on about the gradual understanding.

One reply mentioned the 'walking on eggshells' comparison. Bang-on amigo. It was kinda like that. I had to gradually introduce her to what the fetish really 'meant to me'. Because its far more than diapers. I'm good with 'normal' sex, but she knew that calling me 'Baby' and mentioning a diaper and other aspects that I'd introduced to her to REALLY turned me on, and that's what got her to really love it (This is so fucking important that every AB needs to understand): seeing me turned on and the expressions on my face is what really turned her on the most, so the fetish became incorporated as being something that turns us both on in that way!!

I would wear diapers sometimes when we would go to bed, but just her talking about it and asking me gradually what really turns me on over a few months she got to really understand it. She read up a lot on the Internet about it, and with my help explaining and pinpointing my desires (because it varies for us fetishists) she got really into the understanding of the feelings of being in the dominant role, and the submissive role. I explained that its something beyond sex, it is FREEDOM, it is LIBERATION, it is COMFORT, it is ESCAPE, it is MEDITATIVE, and of course, its WILDLY SEXUAL and we BOTH can benefit from that. Holy fucking importance.

I explained my strong sexual reaction to being forced to talk in baby talk, and for her to be a stern mommy punishing me with spankings and forcing me to be a baby, beg for my diaper, and tease me about being a baby. I grew up on [That site] stories and that is what turns me on the most. It was something she didn't understand at first, so I started writing stories to her while I was in Thailand/Singapore/Bali for a month (see the story forum in the next coming weeks for some intense stuff!) Things were great before my trip and I was so turned on, but now she understands 100% and LOVES it when I make cute faces and me being a baby listening to everything she says, cuddling up to her making little whiny noises and like everything. We are also into switching where she is the baby and I'm the daddy and the fantasies are wiiild. The stories I post will be thoroughly enjoyed. The only thing that I think might piss her off about the fetish is me posting our 'personal life' on the Internet, but I think that's unlikely.

So now its like I had a sexual girlfriend who knew very little about the fetish that is into it just as much as I am --> something UNTHINKABLE for my whole life as an AB. Thought for years that my only shot was finding a girl on the forums and websites. But we all know that finding one near to you, likely you won't have much else in common personality-wise. Most I talked to weren't smart enough or had proper emotional intelligence to bother with. So I am really shocked and ecstatic at my situation; and helplessly and happily in love with my girlfriend. And I wish for as many people possible to find the happiness that I have found, and with more knowledge going into it because I find out by luck. And that's why I bother to post semi-regularly. I just want what I'm saying to subtly affect just ONE person to make a snap decision that will lead them to the promise land!

Truly it is much more worthwhile to rock regular girlfriends and tell her later on. Screw the girls on the websites and on the forums. Waste of time because many of them are headcases Haha. Sorry if that bothers some people, its not my fault you aren't smart enough to realize it.

I really hope I was of some help to you understanding the "warming up to the idea" aspect. I truly believe that getting your girlfriend into all of your desires is a matter of proper explaining and proper timing. Good Luck!!

Whoooooooose next fellas?!?!

--> I don't always wear protection, but when I do, I prefer Attends. Stay diapered my friends. <--

-JeiSiN

[Mommy Chloe]

Don't 'pressure' her to move to fast. Take the time to sit down and talk it all out with her. Tell her exactly what you enjoy what you don't want you want from her.

I am kind of on the other side, I had to talk to my boyfriend about the fact I want/enjoy babying who I am with.

Like someone said up there understand she might not be into it, most people will try things for their partner but sometimes it's not what they are looking for. If that's the case talk about other options (seeing a dom etc).

[curiositykilledthecat]

search the website, the ten to fifteen of this same topic a month that keeps popping up is getting old, however Jeisin hit it on the head.

[ilovemybabybf]

From the girl side of this, I'd like to add my two cents. My boyfriend and I were together for over a year before he told me. It was something new to me (I'd actually never even heard of it before), but I immediately got into it because I love turning my boyfriend on. To be honest, I had noticed something missing in our sex life, and once he told me, I was glad I could fill that need. Generally, you just have to work on it in steps. For instance, when my boyfriend and I first started with diaper play, he would just wear them around the house under pajama pants. Then we worked up to him wearing them without pants, then to me changing him, then to him wetting in them and me changing him. Now we just got locking pants (which are awesome, btw).

The thing I cannot stress enough is that you HAVE TO GIVE HER DIRECTION. I realize that a lot of ab/dl is about relinquishing power, but before you do that, you have to give your partner a heads up about what you want. Be specific: do you want to call your partner mommy, master? How long do you want to be in a dirty diaper? Do you want to be tied up, and if so, for how long? Spanking, baby talk, gags, anal play? Tell her as much as you can, and she'll be less nervous.

[Jersey13ob]

I think you are doing just fine with what you have done so far. A little bit at a time will go a long way. Just be the best boyfriend to her as you can possibly be. Don't make it an every time thing. When you do engage in any play express to her in any way you can how much you enjoy it. She will find enjoyment in it if she is able to see how much you enjoy it.

[NewGuy20]

Thanks for all the advice. I wasn't aware this topic had been brought up several times.

[Jersey13ob]

Thanks for all the advice. I wasn't aware this topic had been brought up several times.

Your going to have a lot of fun with her. As long as you don't pressure her or make it an obsession you will do just fine.

Good Luck!!!

It is your question so I don't understand why some one would complain about you posting a new one.

[Jersey13ob]

I think the majority of my posts are answering this question in some form. So check some of my past posts for some organized chaos of wonderful information... But of course, I'll go on!!

I really hope I was of some help to you understanding the "warming up to the idea" aspect. I truly believe that getting your girlfriend into all of your desires is a matter of proper explaining and proper timing. Good Luck!!

Whoooooooose next fellas?!?!

--> I don't always wear protection, but when I do, I prefer Attends. Stay diapered my friends. <--

-JeiSiN

Much Thanks for re posting as this is the first that I got to see it.

[sarah_ab]

I also tried to explain my infantalist tendencies and my interest in age play during this conversation. She was very mature about the whole thing and essentially said "Well, we could talk more about age play but I am not sure if that is something I'd be comfortable with."

I don't want to freak her out but I think there is a good chance that someday she might be able to be more involved.

so two things to think about here.. first off the fact that she seems willing to talk about this and at least explore it through converastion is HUGE.... for now i would say, don't necessarily drop the subject, but let her bring it up. If you want to wear a diaper maybe once a week around her, ask first.. if it seems to go well after a few times, maybe see if you can wear twice a week around her... but thatsall, wear a diaper, with shorts or pants over it, and just chill like you did before. Dont discuss unless she wants to.... let her make the moves at this point...

secondly, think about what makes you think she will be able to more involved, because it could simply be your desire for her to be more involved is clouding your ability to truely read her reactions. This isn't bad, its what happens to all people, but just be aware of it, and make sure you try to really listen to what she is and ISN"T saying... sometimes what people dont say is more important than what they do.

It sounds like you have a great girlfriend, and you are definitely thinking about her needs so i think you are doing all the right things, just make sure to take things slow, and let your girlfriend take the lead in regards to discussion and play. Its alright to bring it up, but make sure you are not constantly talking about it, referring to it etc....

also this is a great, a fantastic opportunity to allow her to share with you any special kinks, desires, or fantasies SHE may have.. who knows you guys could discover all new things about each other!!

[Full Collapse]

My girlfriend was super cool about it. She made fun of me at first though.

Like I was back home from school for break and she was using my computer and I forgot to clear my history when I was done haha. All these websites popped up and I couldn't hide it from her anymore. It was such a fucking relief letting her know though. I always felt like I was betraying her in some way. She could not take me serious for the rest of the night. We were getting it on and she just started laughing. I remember the next day she picked me up to go shopping for a party we were throwing with our friends. She stopped in a daycare parking lot and told me she was dropping me off for school and told me to be good for mommy. The way she said it turned me on. Then she busted out laughing and we went to the store where she decided she wanted to throw diapers and stuff in the cart. She basically yelled "Hey Matt, I got you the pampers because the luvs make you break out. Sorry Mommy knows best" I wanted to kill her. So embarrassing! She didn't get them though

She's been my best friend our entire lives though, so I have that. It's funny though, we didn't even start getting really serious until after that. i think it was a confidence boost for me, and a trust thing for her. She moved out to Chicago the following semester and in with me. We're both from Irvine California. We're engaged now.

I remember the first time she diapered me, it was better than the day we lost our virginity together. It was a couple months after we moved in together. She knew I was super stressed and had everything laid out when I got home from class one Friday. She went to work on me like I was a baby. She stayed in Mommy role the entire weekend until I said the safe word. Probably the best weekend of my life haha. She does it every so often, but I try not to wear diapers around her a lot. I don't want it to run our relationship. She's great though, she'll order the diapers and pick up stuff from the store when she goes out.

I was hospitalized this past week due to a car accident. I was in ICU for a couple days because my brain was bleeding. I was pretty banged up and couldn't really get out of bed, so I found it easy to get diapered. I mean, it was either that or a catheter or bedside urinal. I of course went for diapers, especially with my hot ass nurses. My girlfriend came in and when she knew I was diapered, she was like "You WOULD let them put you in a diaper" It was the first time(as an adult) where I was diapered by anyone other than her. I felt like I cheated on her in a way, but she knew I was hurt pretty good, She woudn't let the nurse change me while she was there either, so she did. It's been a couple days and she still has me in them at home. I'm not complaining!

[NewGuy20]

Your story gives me lots of hope for the future, full Collapse. Sorry to hear about the car accident, hope you're alright although it sounds like you found the silver lining to that situation!

One thing that seems to be left out of your story is the time period between when you told her to when she first diapered/role played with you. Was she apprehensive or unsure about it in the beginning? Or did she seem like she'd be interested in diapering/role playing with you from day one? Sorry to ask so many questions I just told my girlfriend less than a month ago and I am trying to figure out where to go from here. I'd love to get into some role play/age play but I don't want to move to fast since its all still new to her. I guess I am just trying to figure out how other people go from telling their girlfriends about diapers to actually enjoying diapers or ageplay WITH their girlfriends. I'd love to share my little hobby with her but I don't wanna move to fast, ya know?

Thanks for the input!