How Am I Supposed To Be In A Relationship

[Guest diaperguy68]

i work all day and in the afternoon all i can think of is coming home and making a complete mess of a diaper. for those that live with a girlfriend/wife, how do you deal with these urges?

[Honu]

DG68,

I see this as a binary tree. First, are you married? If yes, is she up-tight, self-rightious, wierded out or otherwise unsupportive? If yes, you are between a rock and a hard place. If you are not married, you goal should include getting stuck in the aforementioned hard place. If you are not married, do you have a girlfriend? If yes, you have either brought this up or not. If you discussed it, either she didn't either encourage you or shot you down in flames or she got you off the subject because her subject is getting your heart and she doesn't want anything this different with it.

A girlfriend is more easy to talk into trying this than a wife. That is, as long as there is the question of winning your heart at risk. A wife already has your heart and you have to find out what else she wants in order to open up her mind to doing or allowing something that you want.

So, it will be easier to share my experiences if you let me know what your situation is. Hey, it's just us ABDLs here.

Aloha,

Honu

[tcc]

Those that want to be in a relationship, generally are already a DL or AB, and KNOW this. So, by virtue of fear of THAT, and silence regarding it, if the situation is not a card placed onto the table BEFORE a relationship begins, the relationship begins and may grow harboring and hiding a secret that MAY or may NOT be accepted once the hand is played and cards turned up and shown. Thus, the partner may feel deception from the git-go, and feel fully within their rights to reject the revelation when it is made and/OR the partner!

The greatest fallacy on this planet, though the AB/DL "secret" is more of a problem for those of us who HAVE such leanings and fetishisms, with our perception of how "wrong" our leanings are, and how "warped" we are for having them, is that it is best to wait to reveal our leanings until after a relationship has been established, and then HOPE that it will be accepted, if not embraced, encouraged and participated in. Baby Boys are the worst in this regard, most ever searching for a "Mommy", and most ever will, because of their unreal expectations and demands they would make of a woman who would accomodate them.

The reality IS that our "thing" is pretty harmless, though odd, and something most adults simply would not be drawn to. But that's THEM, and too bad. For US, we find comfort, fulfillment, pleasure, sometimes perverse feeling of decadence, and for some, like me, a delight in being "different", especially since I'm not truly an incon.

Put this issue on the table BEFORE you start a relationship. If it's accepted BEFOREHAND, you have nowhere to go but onward, upward and forward! If not, you can walk away BEFORE you'd have to worry about any repercussions. Coming from and "old guy" and 40 year DL, this comes from experience and acquired real-life wisdom. I would encourage you to read my blog entries in this regard.

A person who "drops this in on" a partner or significant other "down the line" has no one to blame but themselves if the revelation is rejected. The relationship was NOT built upon total honesty from the first, and could be doomed to fail just because of THAT. For those that want to do that well into a marriage would do well to just keep quiet and keep the secret. Far too many have watched their marriage get strained, distant or disintegrate after not being able to stand staying silent anymore. They reveal at real risk...

[MLGTexas84]

The best advice I have for you is this:

Relationships are built on 2 things, Trust and Respect

Which means you have to be honest with whoever you are with and they have to be accepting of it or there will be problems in the long run. For example if you suppress it there will always be a part of yourself resenting her/him for it. Conversely if she/he doesn't accept it and you continue to do it, she/he will never respect you or understand you. There are a number of people in our community who live in one of these situations and I bet they aren't fully happy with their situations.

So in summation you have to find someone will accept this as part of who you are and there will be less conflict in your day to life. If they are cool with this, then when you get off work you indulge yourself and there is no question of, "How do you?"

[momma.bear]

tcc is right, especially this...

unreal expectations and demands they would make of a woman who would accomodate them.

yes, be honest with a girl during the beginning of the relationship; that's a good start. but the other thing to remember is to make sure that the needs of BOTH of you are being met, ya know? even if you find a woman who is fully supporting or even participatory, there may be times that you get home from work that she just wants vanilla sex, or maybe she worked all day too & she wants a little TLC, too. it's all about compromise.

[curiositykilledthecat]

okay just to make a point, technically we are the weird ones. That being said, you make the most out of life that you can, the question is what is more important, her or the fetish? It would be great to incorporate the two together however you can't expect everyone to embrace this.

[timmyc]

never had an issue with diapers in any relationship. I can think of one time, With my ex wife when I wet my self and was going for a little play time she just sighed and said not tonight. I cleaned myself up and went back to watch tv and talk to her. A couple days later she was wanting to wear.

[tcc]

tcc is right, especially this...

yes, be honest with a girl during the beginning of the relationship; that's a good start. but the other thing to remember is to make sure that the needs of BOTH of you are being met, ya know? even if you find a woman who is fully supporting or even participatory, there may be times that you get home from work that she just wants vanilla sex, or maybe she worked all day too & she wants a little TLC, too. it's all about compromise.

And, YOU, Momma.Bear, are exactly right, as well, with one item I forgot to mention. John Gray, in all of his Mars/Venus books key on exactly what you mention. WHAT is in it for HER? Guys forget that all the time, or are ignorant about it. Conversely, for the female DL or AB, to be fulfilled, she must also fulfill her SO. As you say, compromise, give & take. THAT is what makes things, life and relationships work.