The Vending Machine Game

[freswith]

Machine emits angry Sikh covered in mongoose bites.

Insert Kipling's "Jungle Book".

[Bonsai]

His majesty The Mugger (crocodyle) lazily moves out of machine's main door and crashes 27 different Sikh's bones with just 1 bite.

Inserts the 3 holy Sankara stones.

[:dlb]

Ejects Indiana Jones and 2 stones and says 2 stones is better than none..

insert Indy's fedora.

[Bonsai]

Ejects Merlin's tip hat.

Inserts Gandalf's stick.

[underwhere]

Spits out powerful ring.

Inserts the hole from the ring.

[freswith]

Gets back a packet of pre-drilled holes from Walmart.

Insert four tokens from a corn flakes packet

[Bonsai]

Spits out a coupon for a 2 weeks vacation for 2 people in Colchis.

Inserts a big wooden horse full of enemy warriors.

[freswith]

Machine emits body of marine major carrying plans for invasion of Greece - "The Man Who Never Was".

Insert ticket for ferry to Mykonos.

[Bonsai]

Throws out a CD from ABBA.

Inserts Yngwie Malmsteen's Rising force

[underwhere]

Machine floats away as a result of Rising Force.

Due to mysteries beyond any person or creatures ability to understand, an identical machine reappears where the previous one had floated away, ten years after the fact. Inserts bank statement from 10 years ago.

[:dlb]

machine laughs and says too late

insert IRS Audit

[freswith]

IRS audit comes back containing a chunk of unmentionable human waste.

Insert a slim volume of Shakespeare's sonnets.

[:dlb]

machine falls asleep

insert mocha cappucino

[underwhere]

Machine never falls asleep again.

Insert book of unsolvable Sudoku puzzles.

[Juliabam]

Machine never falls asleep again.

Insert book of unsolvable Sudoku puzzles.

machine uses the book as a pillow and falls asleep again

inserts calming music cd

[Bettypooh]

CD was mislabeled and machine starts doing a Pogo to the Dead Milkmen's "Bitchin Camaro"

Inserts cyanide pill

[Juliabam]

CD was mislabeled and machine starts doing a Pogo to the Dead Milkmen's "Bitchin Camaro"

Inserts cyanide pill

Machine gets white foam around it's insert but is a machine an can't be poisoned

inserts guide to renwable energy sources

[Bettypooh]

Gets a large scale wind turbine farm

Inserts packet of wind seeds for above farm

[freswith]

Machine inflates hugely then issues enormous farts.

Insert lighted match.

[Juliabam]

Machine inflates hugely then issues enormous farts.

Insert lighted match.

Machine spits out ball of fire and grills freswith

insert hot sauce for grilled frog legs

[Bonsai]

Barbeque ants start to get out from all machine's openings.

Inserts DDT.

[freswith]

Machine issues enormous fire-ant which attacks Bonsai.

Inserts SEAL team.

[Juliabam]

Machine gets all sealed up, but it seems like it still needs to get rid of some gass..hey why is the machine balooning like that?..

Inserts "blow" torch (actully I laid it in front of machine since the insert hole was sealed)

[freswith]

Machine moves gratefully over blow torch and burns a hole through its baseplate, before lifting off under the reaction of the jet of gas and flying round the room before landing on Julia with a dying splutter. (from the machine, not Julia.) and flattening her completely.

Machine connects gas line to Julia and reinflates her.

[Juliabam]

Machine moves gratefully over blow torch and burns a hole through its baseplate, before lifting off under the reaction of the jet of gas and flying round the room before landing on Julia with a dying splutter. (from the machine, not Julia.) and flattening her completely.

Machine connects gas line to Julia and reinflates her.

Julia reinflates

inserts thank you note