The Vending Machine Game

[BabyJune]

Gets book "Cantonese and Mandarin For Dummies"

Inserts a pair of chopsticks (made from said Chinese bamboo calendar)

[Bettypooh]

Gets a Ronco "Veg-O-Matic" for faster chopping

Inserts free "Ginsu" knife

[lilJester]

gets back a 12 pack of cola

inserts jar of peanuts

[Juliabam]

Machine returns stuffed elephant

inserts white piano keys

[Bettypooh]

Inserts miniature Ivory Tower

Gets a bar of 99 44/100% pure Ivory Soap

[Snugglebug]

Receives: soapy enema mix

Inputs: a joke in bad taste

[Bettypooh]

Gets a tasty cheesecake

Inserts well-licked fork (after eating cheesecake )

[Yvhuce]

Machine produces a new spork.

Inserts doggy treat.

[Bettypooh]

Gets a schizophrenic Pit Bull Terrier (or should that be terror? )

Inserts well-chewed fencepost

[Juliabam]

machine returns box of matchsticks

inserts fireproof smoking apron

[freswith]

Machine issues 200 fireproof cigarettes.

Inserts defective Ronson lighter.

[Juliabam]

Machine attempts to repair defective lighter but explodes

inserts new machine

[freswith]

Machine issues huge bill for the destruction of the old machine

Insert box of old foreign coins, long since demonetarised, including a 100,000 mark note from the Weimar republic.

[Juliabam]

Machine issues huge bill for the destruction of the old machine

Insert box of old foreign coins, long since demonetarised, including a 100,000 mark note from the Weimar republic.

Machine puts coin in foreign slotmachine, wins the jackpot, show this game its bare a** before it races off in its new Lamborghini

Inserts 4 flat tires

[freswith]

Gets four tickets for having underinflated tyres.

Inserts four puncture repair kits.

[Bettypooh]

Gets 4 posters of Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger all "Pumped Up"

Inserts "Four-poster" bed (with the help of the officer who wrote the tickets who is in the hospital with a sprained back)

[BabyJune]

Gets a DVD of Disney's "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" movie

Inserts a "Woodie" (C'mon! He's one of the main characters in "Toy Story" Dirty minds, I tell you).

[freswith]

Gets a Stiffie (C'mon, it's one of those characters in you-know-what. Whoever said I have a drty mind?)

Inserts a tube of KY jelly

[Bettypooh]

Gets a set of XYY chromosomes (and wonders what frogging sex am I?)

Inserts a jar of Strawberry jelly (non-sexual)

[freswith]

Gets back a jar of Old English Marmalade

Inserts a dram of whisky - into the marmalade. (Now that's a naughty boy!)

[Bettypooh]

And gets a drunken sandwich

Inserts a dram of cordite

[BabyJune]

Gets a block of napalm

Inserts some leftover fireworks

[Juliabam]

machine returns big bang theory

inserts bible

[freswith]

Machine issues obsidian knife and do-it-yourself human sacrifice instructions.

Insertssmall jade figure of Chac Mool

[Juliabam]

Machine issues obsidian knife and do-it-yourself human sacrifice instructions.

Insertssmall jade figure of Chac Mool

Machine returns The incredible hulk

inserts radioactive tape recorder