The Vending Machine Game

[:dlb]

machines says anytime...

insert a HS GED..

[freswith]

Machine issues Diploma in Automated Vending.

Insert bowl of petunias.

[Bonsai]

Ejects an orchid with very small indingo flowers.

Inserts gardening tools.

[freswith]

Machine issues bag of horse manure, well rotted.

Insert greenfly.

[Juliabam]

Machine issues bag of horse manure, well rotted.

Insert greenfly.

Machine returns The Green Hornet

inserts bee suit

[freswith]

Machine issues small pot of mechanical honey followed by the bee-sting: a bill for £10.00.

Insert one drop of Royal Jelly..

[Juliabam]

Machine issues small pot of mechanical honey followed by the bee-sting: a bill for £10.00.

Insert one drop of Royal Jelly..

Machine combines bee suit with royal jelly and transforms into the mighty Queen Bee with super powers

Inserts kingsize can of insect repellant

[PeytonJ]

Out spits The Mighty Bee

Inserts a stinger

[:dlb]

spits out stingray

insert corvette

[Juliabam]

spits out stingray

insert corvette

machine returns a rusty ford mustang

inserts kingsize can of insect repellant (needs to get that stuff used, hopes it works on rust)

[freswith]

Machine recoils violently, then bounces between floor and ceiling, before ejecting jet of disgusting slimy human-repellent at Juliabam.

Insert UN peace resolution.

[:dlb]

machine says good luck with that

insert sushi

[underwhere]

Spits out lawyer. "Did somebody say 'sue, she'? Who needs to be sued?"

inserts very confused judge.

[Yvhuce]

Machine spits out Judge Judy, who proceeds to yell at underwhere about the illegalities of inserting judges into magical vending machines.

Inserts the music from the NES Micro Machines game.

[Juliabam]

Machine spits out Judge Judy, who proceeds to yell at underwhere about the illegalities of inserting judges into magical vending machines.

Inserts the music from the NES Micro Machines game.

In comes Mario to repair the obviously broken machine

inserts donkey kong

[freswith]

Machine issues donkey with large erect kong.

insert Luger pistol.

[Juliabam]

Machine issues donkey with large erect kong.

insert Luger pistol.

Machine shoots a hole in freswith

inserts green rubber patch

[freswith]

Freswith, now being holey, can face the Rapture with equanimity, so he opens a bottle of Glenfarclas single malt which the machine has just provided.

Insert quadruple shot of whisky..

[Juliabam]

Freswith, now being holey, can face the Rapture with equanimity, so he opens a bottle of Glenfarclas single malt which the machine has just provided.

Insert quadruple shot of whisky..

Machine gerts drunk and puts another hole in freswith

inserts rubber bullets for safer drinking with freswith

[underwhere]

hmmm, you can't drink freswith with rubber bullets! You'd need a glass for that, right? Machine spits out wine goblet, with freswith poured into goblet.

Inserts picture of the preceeding which was previously sent to the National Enquirer and the Weekly World News for publication.

[freswith]

Machine ejects empty Luger magazine and gives itself up to the police.

Insert British-style policeman's helmet won in the field at great risk during last year's New-Year Celebrations in Trafalgar Square.

[Juliabam]

Machine ejects empty Luger magazine and gives itself up to the police.

Insert British-style policeman's helmet won in the field at great risk during last year's New-Year Celebrations in Trafalgar Square.

Machine returns a guy named Bobby

inserts bobbygum

[aleyxsis]

machine spits out bobby gum !keeps getting stuck in it's teeth

inserts fressy gum does not get stuck in dentures

[underwhere]

machine does, however, choke on the gum, requiring the Heimlich maneuver to resuscitate it.

inserts arbitrary medical insurance claim denial.

[freswith]

Insert formal appeal against claim denial with implied threat of lawsuit.

Machine emits rabid dog, snapping and foaming at the mouth.